


Coming Home

by itchyfingers



Category: Henry Cavill - Fandom
Genre: Adventure, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hot Air Balloons, Intrigue, Love, Love Letters, Peacocks, True Love, Victorian, british nobility, landed nobility, some violence of the non-gratuitous nature
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-24 18:29:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 99,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2591750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itchyfingers/pseuds/itchyfingers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A man possessed of a fortune must be in want of a wife. Henry has unexpectedly become Lord Carlisle and there are many women suddenly wanting to marry him. When his best friend’s little sister, a baroness in her own right, suggests they act like they are courting to give them both some protection from unwanted suitors he agrees, setting in motion a chain of events that may change both of their lives forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N I had this posted earlier but took it down with the idea of turning it into a publishable piece. My original fiction is going in a different direction though, so I am revising this a bit and posting it back here for those of you who loved it the first time and for those who haven’t yet met Lord Carlisle and the Lady Harcourt.

_London, England, c.1880_

The ballroom was absolutely packed, a perfect crush, one of the highlights of the Season. The French doors that stretched the length of the room stood open to the gardens just beyond but the cool air did little to diminish the warmth of the room. Ellie sent one of the men fawning over her to get ices for the entire group with a pretty smile and a flick of her fan. The new gap in the wall of young women and older men around her allowed her to see her brother beckoning to her from across the ballroom. She signaled that she had seen him and then went back to her conversation with her friends. Eventually, when she was done exchanging compliments and gossip and before the boring man returned with her ice, she made her way around the edge of the dance floor to where her brother stood chatting with another man.

“You summoned, dear brother?”

He turned to her. “Ellie,” he said, sounding even more cheerful than normal, “there’s someone I want you to meet. Lord Carlisle,” he said, turning to the gentleman next to him, “may I introduce you to my sister, the Baroness of St. Catherine’s, the Lady Elizabeth Harcourt.”

Ellie started to curtsy to the gentleman, but then a flash of recognition crossed her face. “Henry?”

He smiled as he bowed to her, and then looked at her brother as he stood. “I told you the fancy new title wouldn’t fool her, Robert.”

“I’d hug you but then I think you’d have to marry me, the way all these little old ladies keep looking at you.” Ellie laughed. “When did  _you_  become the Earl of Carlisle?”

“A few months ago. It was a terrible tragedy. The earl and his entire family were lost in a boating accident and I end up inheriting through some collateral line three generations back. Too many heirs and not enough spares in that line.”

“How sad,” Ellie responded, though she didn’t really sound it. “I suppose that’s why all the  _maman_  are watching you so closely. You’re the newest eligible bachelor of the season. And with a fortune like that, you must be in want of a wife, no?”

Henry laughed. “I’ve spent most of the last few months in hiding with the estate’s lawyers. I haven’t even gone up to Castle Howard yet. When I do venture out, some nymph just out of the nursery manages to fall on, at, or by me. It’s a most peculiar phenomenon.”

“Well, of course they are tripping over their own feet to get close. Just look at you! All old and respectable now instead of the absolute hellion you used to be at the gaming tables.” Henry shot Robert a shocked look and Ellie laughed behind her fan. “Do you both really think that I didn’t know about how much you two gambled away on cards and women? It is lucky for you both that you managed to win it all back before Father found out how much you lost.” She prodded her brother with the tip of her closed fan.

“Besides,” she turned back to Henry, “you’ve finally grown into your jawline, you’ve figured out how to keep your curls from being an absolute halo of fluffiness, you have the most elegantly tied cravat I’ve seen this Season, and now you’ve got a fortune and a castle. I’m surprised one of those innocent little nymphs hasn’t tried to kidnap you into a compromising position.”

She said this with such matter-of-factness that Henry didn’t know whether to be insulted, flattered, or shocked. Instead he just changed the topic. “Speaking of new titles, when did you become a baroness?”

“Quirk of the line. St. Catherine’s is always held for the eldest daughter to have something to bargain with at the marriage table. One unhappy marriage many generations back and she outlived him and set it in some sort of unbreakable law. It might actually be etched into the foundation stones of the chapel there.” Her voice was light and full of laughter.

Henry looked at her closely. She had only been a school girl, barely in the double digits, when he had last seen her. Robert had always brought him home from school on long weekends and holidays. She had been able to charm her way to getting anything she wanted then and he had a feeling not much had changed as an adult. Her dark curls were swept up elegantly and dressed with a strand of pearls and feathers, and her dress was  _au courant_ , but while she was absolutely a woman, she lacked the jaded worldliness that marked so many of the other women of his acquaintance. The difference, and what might be behind it, intrigued him. “Where have you been hiding yourself these many years? I haven’t seen you in what feels like a decade.”

“About that long I should imagine,” she replied. “Mama got tired of me driving my governesses to distraction, so she shipped me off to Paris to a boarding school for young ladies. I’ve been languishing on the Continent ever since.” She flipped open her fan and waved it prettily in front of her face as she smiled at a young man who was watching her.

Robert interjected, “You have never been known to languish anywhere in your whole life. And stop flirting with that rake over your fan. You’ll make yourself look ridiculous.”

Ellie rolled her eyes at Robert, “Or approachable. You know, you could just stop shooting daggers at every man who looks at me twice.” She smacked her brother on the arm with her fan and turned back to Henry. “He is right though. I adored Paris. But now that I’m twenty-one and a baroness with a fortune of my own, I thought I would see if London holds any more appeal as an adult than it did as a child.”

“And what have your findings been so far?” Henry asked, finding himself genuinely interested.

“London would be much more enjoyable if I didn’t have a big brother standing behind me convinced every man within a five hundred foot distance was a fortune hunter or a rakehell. I hardly get to dance at all, and I adore dancing.” She stuck her tongue out the barest bit at her brother and Henry got a glimpse of the girl she used to be. She gasped suddenly, and then turned back to Henry with a huge smiled spreading across her face. “I just had the most splendid idea. I need someone to dance with that Robert can’t object to, and you need someone to keep the ravening damsels at bay. Why don’t we pair up?”

Henry blinked in surprise. “Pardon?”

“We act like we’re courting! That way I can dance and have someone to see the sights of London with besides Robert, and you get someone charming to keep you company on those nights you do escape from estate lawyers and guard you from the cunning machinations of the innocents of the  _ton_. It’s a perfect fix!”

Robert stared at her aghast. “You can’t ask a man to do that, Ellie. It wouldn’t be honorable.”

She laughed brightly at her brother’s horror. “It will be fine. We both know going into it that it’s a lark, and then I’ll break his heart at the end of the Season and go back to Paris for the winter.” She turned pleadingly to Henry. “Please say yes! It would be such a romp.” She looked up at him through eyelashes he didn’t remember as being that dark or that long before and felt the long-forgotten sensation of his will bending to hers.

“Lady,” he bowed over her hand as the music started up into a waltz, “would you do me the honor of sharing this dance?”

She smiled delightedly, and he swept her on to the floor.

Robert hid a smile as he watched them dance. His plan was going perfectly.

***

She was a marvelous dancer; not that Henry was surprised by that. She had always been good at the games they had amused her with as a child, and he remembered her dancing gaily to the music her mother had played on the piano, whether she was supposed to or not. What did surprise him was the way he felt holding her on dance floor. It was as if she had been custom made to his exact specifications. The curve of her back, the delicate arch of her arm, the feel of her hand in his, all these things felt perfect to him. They moved together like a matched set.

“Well, Henry, or should I call you Carlisle? What were you doing with yourself before you become an earl?”

“Henry is fine; Carlisle still feels like they are talking about someone else. And I was being a gentleman. Dabbling in a bit of stock trading, fencing lessons, breeding horses, useless activities like that.

“Oh, good, I do enjoy a good dabble, don’t you?” She responded. “I get bored so easily, and I know it is probably impolite to say this, but I am so glad I wasn’t born poor. I should have hated having to get up each morning and wear the same clothes and do the same thing. I like pretty clothes, and dancing, and books and music and art and travel too much to ever want to have a life resigned to drudgery and platitudes.” She looked up at him, her eyes twinkling wickedly. “Have I shocked you speechless?”

Henry looked amused. “Do you enjoy shocking people speechless?”

“At times,” she admitted wryly. “I just don’t understand why I have to follow rules that are completely nonsensical. If the good Lord decided to have me be born wealthy, I don’t think I should have to spend my life repenting of it. I should get to enjoy it a little bit.” She smiled icily over Henry’s shoulder at a young woman watching them with narrowed eyes.

“Something tells me this is a familiar argument.”

She had the good grace to look embarrassed. “Is it that obvious? My mother thinks I should be more sensible, more demure, more withdrawn. But I can’t help it. When I see something I like, I want to take hold of it by both hands and embrace it.”

Henry looked down at her, bemused at her unfashionable forthrightness. “Do you always know what you like when you see it?”

There was an odd note to his voice that caused her to look at him. She had been preparing one of her usual flippant responses but then stopped. Her eyes flickered confused across his face and then re-met his gaze. “I do, my lord.” A blush rose in her cheeks as the music came to an end. He escorted her back to her brother where she immediately saw someone across the room that she absolutely had to talk to. She hurried away, fanning the heat from her cheeks. When she looked back, he was still watching her.

He claimed her for two more dances that evening, though not for another waltz. They chatted of nothing but local gossip and friends they had in common. At the end of the night, he bowed over her hand and kissed it softly. “Until the next time you need a dance partner, my lady.”


	2. Chapter 2

Henry opened the note from Robert as he ate his breakfast. “Ellie is insisting on going to some lecture given at the Royal Geographical Society. Mother refuses to have anything to do with it. Please beg off other engagements and come with me, because if I have to escort her myself I shall die of boredom, and if I refuse to go she will silently pout at me with a ferocity not to be believed.”

Henry laughed and spoke to his butler who had delivered the note a few moments earlier. “Hansen, I need some paper and ink.”

He dashed off a quick note of acceptance and gave it to his butler to have delivered. The thought of getting to spend the afternoon with Ellie brought a smile to his face. Well, with Robert, of course, but Ellie would be there too. She had flitted around the edges of his mind in the last three days, distracting him away from the ledgers of his new estate, from the letters from the steward informing him of improvements that needed to be taken immediately, from the wills and trusts and liens and deeds and all the other things that he should be doing. He kept seeing her blue eyes laughing at him over her fan, and the feel of her hand on his shoulder. One night, just three simple dances, and he was completely besotted.

He shoved one more piece of bacon in his mouth and then headed up the stairs to his rooms. “Come on, Hansen,” he called, for Hansen served as both his valet and butler since he was still at his London home from before he had become an Earl, “let’s go decide what to wear to a meeting of the Royal Geographical society.”

Robert bustled into his foyer that afternoon. He yelled up the staircase, “Henry, we’re running late. Ellie couldn’t decide between two different pairs of gloves.”

“Don’t get your boots scuffed, I’m ready.” Henry walked out of his study to find Robert pacing in the foyer.

“Well come on then. I left her in the carriage.” Robert practically shoved him out the door to the dismay of Hansen and the amusement of a passing footman.

Henry settled onto the carriage bench opposite Ellie. “It’s good to see you again, Lady Elizabeth.”

“My lord.” The honorific was a laugh on her tongue.

“Where are we off to today, then?”

“An explorer has come back from Africa with all sorts of interesting things to see. He shall tell us about his adventures among the tribes there, and then we will have time to look at all of the things he brought back.” She was practically bouncing in her seat, and not all of that could be explained by the movement of the carriage over the stones in the road.

“What sort of things?” Henry had never been to one of these lectures and had no idea what to expect.

“According the article in the paper this morning, there are statues and insects and plants and gems and–”

Robert interrupted. “She’s got the whole article memorized she read it so many times.”

She sighed in exasperation. “I don’t have it memorized, Robert.”

“Sister, you quoted it so much at me this morning that I think  _I_  have it memorized.”

Henry fought back a laugh. “Well, it sounds fascinating. I shall prepare to be enlightened.”

Ellie pulled a face at her brother and Robert reached across the carriage and pulled one of her curls in return. She was a child again in that instant. It was odd, seeing her flip back into such a youthful attitude when his thoughts of her over the last three days had been about the woman in the ballroom. She looked back at him, and her face shifted subtly – a blush to her cheeks as she looked down, her eyelashes like black wings against a cloud – and she was a woman again.

The lecture was in a stuffy room with too many people crammed into too small a space. Henry sat between Robert and Ellie, and while Robert had brought a paper along with him and read in a bored fashion, Henry actually found the lecture quite interesting; almost as interesting as watching Ellie. She wore her emotions on her face, without guile or dissembling. It was a remarkable difference compared to the almost predatory interactions he had with other women lately. He had no idea how eighteen year old girls could make him feel like a lamb thrown to the lions, but they had made him flee the ballrooms and salons of London before the combined terror of their ruffled dresses and embroidered gloves. Yet here she was, so enraptured by tales of a foreign land that he doubted she even knew he was there. She hadn’t tried any of the standard tricks employed by fashionable women, dropping a glove or asking to borrow his programme or the truly daring adjusting of his cravat, to get him to interact with her. Quite honestly, he was wondering why Robert had invited him in the first place. His hopes that it was Ellie working through her brother seemed quite misplaced.

After the lecture, Robert seemed content to keep reading his paper so it fell to Henry to escort Ellie through the exhibits. There weren’t very many women in attendance, and she was younger by at least two decades than any of the other ones. That alone would have drawn attention to her, but her intelligent and enthusiastic enjoyment of the displays only served to attract the gaze of the other attendees. She seemed surprised at the attention, and then frustrated as the men attempted to explain things that she already knew in small words so that she could understand. Henry quite enjoyed himself watching the men realize that she was at least as informed as they were. Some of them found this quite unenjoyable and soon left to their own discussions. A few, however, found this a delightful development, and drew her deeper into discussions about which he knew nothing at all. When she commented on the beautiful rough agates that the explorer had brought back, one of the men said, “Oh, those are nothing compared to some of the examples we have in our collection. Would you care to see them?”

“Oh, yes, that would be lovely.”

“We normally don’t allow the general public into some of our archive rooms, but for you, I will make an exception.” Sir Edward Seymour extended his arm and she took it and he led her out of the room before Henry could formulate an objection. He had no idea that geographers were such tricky fellows!

Henry hurriedly crossed the room to Robert and hissed, “I just let your sister wander off with a stranger. Come help me.”

Robert looked up at him, startled. “You did what?”

“I wasn’t paying attention. They were talking about rocks and all of a sudden she was gone!”

“Honestly, Henry, what do I bring you along for?” He unfolded himself from his chair and tucked his paper under his arm.

As they hurried out of the room in pursuit of the errant Ellie, Henry muttered, “I thought it was to keep you entertained, not to chaperone your little sister.”

Robert rolled his eyes. “Really.”

Henry looked at him with sudden suspicions dawning but he heard Ellie laughing and turned to follow her voice. When he entered, he saw Seymour standing next to Ellie, a little too close in his opinion, pointing at things in a glass display case.

“Here you are, my lady,” Henry said, a subtle stress on the word ‘my’ that Ellie didn’t notice but garnered a speculative look from Seymour.

“Henry, come look at these amazing agates.” She beckoned to him with a bright smile on her face.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met.” Seymour looked at Henry with a sneer of superiority. He had noticed Henry’s glazed appearance earlier when in the main room and had written him off as a mere dilettante.

“How rude of me!” Ellie’s eyes went wide with embarrassment. “Sir Edward Seymour, this is the Earl of Carlisle, Lord Henry Cavill.”

Henry watched the expression on the man’s face change from supercilious to obsequious. It was a reaction he had grown accustomed to in the last three months, but its familiarity just made it more irritating. Ellie looped her arm through Henry’s and said, “Isn’t the color in that stone amazing?” Seymour’s eyes flicked to Ellie’s hand familiarly resting on Carlisle’s arm and he could see the man deflate. He turned to the stone Ellie was pointing at with a suppressed smile. “It is beautiful. Though not the most beautiful thing I have seen today.”

Ellie looked up at him in surprise. “Really, my lord? What have you seen that surpasses this?”

Henry’s smile was slow but no less real for that. He watched realization dawn in her eyes and said, “Shall we go?” with the air of a satisfied man.

She nodded, suddenly at a loss for speech. Robert watched all this from the doorway. Seymour remained behind, head down, hands holding the edge of the display case as Henry escorted Ellie back to the main assembly room.

On the ride back home, Robert scolded Ellie. “You can’t just wander off like that, Ellie.”

She rolled her eyes at her brother. “I was perfectly safe.”

“Ellie, you’re not a child. You know that even if nothing happens, your reputation can be ruined just at the hint of impropriety. You’re already enough of a bluestocking just being interested in these things in the first place. I’m not taking you to any more of these lectures if this is the way you behave at them.”

“He was just showing me rocks. It isn’t fair that I have to always have an escort just because I’m a woman. Especially since I don’t know of any other woman who is interested in matters of the world.”

Robert didn’t raise his voice, but the firmness of his tone doubled. “That’s the way the world works, Ellie, and you are too wise in the matters of the world to think that whining about the fairness of it is going to amount to a feather’s weight of difference.”

Ellie scowled and looked out the window of the carriage.

Henry felt a need to defend her. “It’s not all her fault, Robert. I should have gone with her.”

Robert frowned at him. “You shouldn’t have let her go at all.”

“Then be mad at me, not at her.” Robert met Henry’s glare. The defiant steadiness in Henry’s eyes made him look away.

“I give up.” He threw his hands up in bemused exasperation.

Ellie sweetly asked, “Does that mean we can go to the balloon float this evening?”

“The what?” Henry turned to her in consternation.

“There’s a group of men who are going to launch a whole fleet of hot air balloons this evening in Hyde’s Park.”

“You are  _not_  going up in a hot air balloon.” Robert was adamant.

“Of course not.” She looked at Robert like he was insane for suggesting it. “I just want to see them all glowing against the night sky.” She turned her gaze on Henry. “Doesn’t that sound like it would be enchanting, my lord?”

She was practically glowing with excitement. “Enchanting.” Her answering smile made her even more beautiful.

She turned back to her brother. “Please, Robert, say we can go.”

“Fine.” His sigh of defeat masked his inner happiness. This was proving to be much less work than he had feared.

That evening, Carlisle called for both of them in his carriage, insisting that he needed to justify keeping a coachman on staff.

“What a beautiful barouche, Henry,” Ellie said, once they were all settled in the coach. “And those horses are majestic. They look like a matched pair.”

“Yes, I inherited them with the title. I will say one thing about the previous earl. He had excellent taste in horses. I’m interested to see what the stables look like at Castle Howard. If his hounds are anything like the horses, Robert, I’ll have to host a hunting party this fall.”

“Oh, that sounds fabulous. I would love to ride a hunt,” Ellie responded, not noticing or not caring that she had just invited herself along.

Henry looked at Ellie in surprise. “Have you ridden a hunt before, my lady?”

“No, but I have an excellent seat and love riding cross country.”

“I’m sure you do, but riding a hunt is different. You may not like to see the bloodshed.”

She brushed his objections away with a flick of her hand. “I’ve ridden steeplechase and I flew falcons and harriers when I was in Europe. Chasing a fox is hardly going to make me swoon unless I lace my corset especially tight.”

“Elizabeth!” This was too much, even for Robert’s relatively relaxed mores.

“What, Robert? John Stuart Mill can talk about the restrictions my corset places on me, but I can’t? It’s  _my_ corset.”

“What  _did_ they teach you in that school mother sent you to?” He feared his sister was becoming a burgeoning revolutionary. Next thing you knew she would be wanting the vote.

“All sorts of things. But the world is a school as well, if you’re awake enough to pay attention to the lessons.

He scowled at her impudence. “We’ll finish this conversation when we’re in a more private setting.”

Ellie sat back. “Yes, sir.” She looked at Henry. “I’m sorry, my lord. Please forgive my impropriety.”

Henry was too busy thinking about lacing corsets, or to be perfectly honest, _un_ lacing corsets, to be concerned about a lapse in manners.

“There is nothing to forgive, my lady. You are refreshingly opinionated.”

She smiled at him, both the gentle words and the rich notes of laughter in his silken voice stirring something within her that was unfamiliar yet pleasing.

The park was teeming with people when they arrived. Henry helped Ellie down from the carriage and tucked her hand into the crook of his arm. “Allow me to keep you close. I wouldn’t want you to be jostled by the crowd.” She looked up to thank him right as someone bumped into her back, forcing her against him. All of a sudden, she was barely an inch from him, her face turned up towards his. He could smell the delicate fragrance of her perfume as someone else bumped against him, causing him to sway into her, and he grabbed her by the shoulder to keep her steady as he regained his balance. Her mouth parted in surprise from the impact, revealing full lips just begging to be kissed.

He regretfully stepped back. “Are you alright? Have you been hurt, my lady?”

She blinked a few times. “No, I mean, yes, I’m fine. I haven’t taken any harm.” She pressed a hand to her cheeks, feeling them burning through her glove.

“I shall endeavor to keep you even closer to prevent anyone from jostling you again.” He covered her hand on his arm with his larger one, the tip of his index finger curving into the space between her index finger and thumb. He stroked his fingertip just once against the curve of her hand and he felt a slight shiver course through her body as her eyes dilated. “Shall we go to the launch site, Ellie?”

She nodded, not taking her eyes from him.

The area where the balloons were ready to be launched was roped off, and men were running around in shirtsleeves yelling instructions at each other. The atmosphere was sparking like an electricity machine as the assembled throngs jostled against each other for position. Ellie found herself clinging to Henry’s arm as the crowds grumbled over the launch not happening on schedule and she found herself starting to regret the decision to attend, but finally the balloons were ready to go. A cheer went up from the crowd as the balloons lifted into the air. Ellie lifted her face to the night sky, the glowing orbs like a string of moons against the velvety darkness. It was as enchanting as she had hoped.

A scream split the darkness behind them, and then Henry saw that one of the balloons had caught fire. The fabric smoldered and then went up in a blaze, and the basket teetered precariously from the burning blimp. As it plunged to the ground, the wreck hit another balloon, setting it swaying and then the fabric of the second balloon ignited. The first balloon crashed into the trees and within seconds the leaves sparked into flame.

The second balloon rapidly lost altitude as its shell combusted, and then there was an explosion as the fuel source exploded, sending flaming debris hurtling through the air. Ellie watched in horror as another balloon caught fire. The frightened spectators stampeded away from the flaming detritus plummeting to the ground as the screams of the endangered ballooners rent the air. Robert turned to Henry. “Get her out of here and keep her safe. I’m going to stay and tend to the injured.”

Henry nodded and turned to Ellie. He wrapped one arm around her and then took her hand. “Don’t let go of me.”

She clutched at Henry’s arm. “We can’t leave Robert,” she insisted.

“He’s a doctor, Ellie. He’s not going to leave injured people.”

“But what if he gets hurt? We can’t leave him!”

He took her face in his hands. “Ellie, he’ll be fine. Please, come with me.”

Robert saw her arguing and came back. “Ellie, go. I promise I’ll be safe. They need my help and if you stay it’s just going to distract me. Please go!” He kissed her on her forehead. “Go.”

Ellie threw her arms around him. “Stay safe. I need my brother.”

He hugged her tightly. “I will. Now go.” He pushed her at Henry. “Get her out of here.”

Henry grabbed her hand. “Come with me. Now.”

She looked up at him, the flames illuminating the fear in her eyes.

“He’ll be fine. He’s smart. Now let me get you away from here.”

She nodded and he elbowed his way through the crowd, making use of his large frame to clear a path for them. Smoke hung heavy in the air and the shouting of the fleeing spectators and screams of the burning injured added to the hellish atmosphere. He kept her tight against his side as the mob swirled around them and finally got them back to where the carriages were waiting. They scurried through the mass of frightened horses and dark carriages until he found the one with his new coat of arms on the door. His coachman was struggling to keep the horses calm in the hubbub and looked relieved to see that his master had returned. Henry handed Ellie into the carriage. “Take us to the lady’s home,” he ordered.

He climbed into the carriage and sat across from Ellie.  The muffled sounds of the coachman yelling at people to get out of his way and the curses in response penetrated into the dark interior. He tossed his hat onto the seat and ran his hand through his hair. “Shall I pull up one of the curtains so you can see what is going on?”

Her voice trembled as she answered. “It is probably better that I can’t. I don’t need to feed my imagination any more horrors,” she said softly.

He kept his voice low and calming. “Robert will be fine, Ellie. He’s a brilliant doctor and a smart man.”

“He has no supplies with him, no bandages, no clean water even. What can he possibly do?”

He stood and, balancing himself with a hand on the roof against any sudden movement of the carriage, seated himself next to her.

“He will do all that he can, which is more than most. And when the fire wagons get there, they will have supplies he can use.”

She looked up at him and her eyes seemed even larger than normal in the dim light. “When we get back to the house, will you take him his bag? I know where he keeps it.”

“Of course. You are very thoughtful.”

The herky-jerky movements of the carriage fighting its way free finally transitioned to the smooth flow of unimpeded traffic. Henry let out the breath he had been holding and relaxed now that he was sure that he had gotten her away from the danger. Ellie realized it too. “Thank you, my lord.” She sounded solemn, and he could tell by the tightness in her voice that she was reliving those scary moments in the park.

“Please call me Henry. You’ve known me too long and in too many decidedly unlordly escapades to be constrained by titles. You do call me Henry when you aren’t thinking about it. It’s only when you are consciously trying to behave that you fall back on honorifics.”

“Are you saying I’m a misbehaving bit of baggage?” Her laughter bubbled to the surface like a spring that had been cleared of debris.

“I would never call you any such thing. But we don’t have need for titles, do we? Not us who have known each other for so long.” It was an intimacy denied them usually, to be alone, together, in the seclusion of a carriage cloaked in night. He thought his voice sounded deeper than normal in the still quiet.

He couldn’t make out the emotion in her eyes as she looked at him in the dimness of the carriage. “Of course not,” she said hesitantly, “Henry.”

It must be the acoustics of the carriage, he thought, for her voice sounded husky as well. “See, that wasn’t so difficult,” he said, affecting an air of normalcy, and he patted her hand with his, only to realize that at some point she had taken off her gloves, and his hand closed slowly over her bare fingers. He felt a shiver race through her at the touch but she didn’t pull away. He slightly shifted his hand, letting his smallest finger slip between her thumb and forefinger. His fingers played against the back of her hand, and his thumb brushed the side of her wrist. After a long moment where neither of them breathed, she shifted her hand on its side, and wrapped her fingers around his, like a child gripping a parent’s pinky finger for reassurance. He relaxed and gently squeezed her bare hand before letting his thumb rest over the fragile skin at her wrist. He could feel her heartbeat skittering under his thumb like a frightened mare, but as they rode together in the darkness, and he didn’t press any further intimacies, it calmed and steadied.

Soon,  _too soon_ , they were at Ellie’s house. He helped her out of the carriage and she barely touched his hand as she stepped down. Instead, she lifted her skirts and ran up the stairs to her home. Throwing open the door, she called for Jenkins, who was already making his way across the tiled foyer. “Put together his lordship’s bag, with any extra bandages and analgesics he may have in store. There has been an emergency and he needs it as quickly as possible.”

“Yes, my lady.”

Jenkins hurried into Robert’s study, and efficiently stocked the bag as full as it would hold with medicines, and then filled another satchel with rolled bandages. “It’s a good thing that the maids just restocked his supplies. They have been knitting in their spare time as they wait on your mother.”

“It’s very good, Jenkins.” Ellie said as she helped him fill the satchel. She patted the older man on the arm. “I don’t know what we would do without you.”

Henry watched the exchange and the evident affection the two had for each other. Jenkins had been there on his visits to Robert’s home as a school boy and had indulged the young lady’s whims more than anyone else. He must be enjoying having her back as much as everyone else was.

“Shall I put these in the carriage, sir?” Jenkins asked him.

“Yes, thank you.”

Jenkins carried the bags out the door and Ellie turned to Henry. “Make sure he is safe.”

“I will. I promise.”

“And stay safe yourself. Henry.”

“I will.” He looked at her standing there in the grand foyer appearing so small and worried and fragile. He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her until she smiled again, and then kiss her until… Well, he didn’t know what the end point of that kiss would be, because he didn’t want to stop kissing her. But as Jenkins walked back up the steps he knew he couldn’t even touch her. “Try not to worry, Ellie.”

“I’ll try.”

He turned and left and Ellie watched as he ran down the steps, his greatcoat flaring out behind him, and jumped gracefully into the carriage. Just like that, he was gone.

***

She tried to sleep, but every noise made her sit up and listen, wondering if it was Robert coming home at last. Finally she slept fitfully, tossing and turning as her dreams filled with smoke and flames and screaming. When the fear burned too high she felt Henry’s hand on hers, and the dreams went away, leaving her in peaceful slumber.

In the morning she went downstairs for breakfast. She heard Robert talking in the dining room, and she rushed in instead of waiting for Jenkins to announce her, anxious to assure herself that her brother was unharmed. She stopped motionless as she saw that Robert had a breakfast guest. Henry and Robert both leapt to their feet, their chairs scraping loudly against the wood floor.

They were both smudged with smoke. Their hair was in disarray, their formerly pristine white shirts dirty, their sleeves rolled up to their elbows. Both of them had lost their cravats, and their shirts were open at the collar, exposing several inches of their chests. She had seen Robert in similar states of dishabille before, though rarely of course, and his tall lean frame was what she was accustomed to seeing across the table from her in the morning. Henry, though, was even taller than her brother and much broader through the shoulders, and seeing him so familiarly at table was very strange. Where her brother was fair, Henry was dark, and apparently his beard grew much faster, for what was barely a tracing of hair across her brother’s chin was much more evident on Henry’s face. This must be what he looked like when he woke in the morning, she realized, hair amess from sleep and not yet shaved for the day. And his chest, well, Ellie tore her eyes away from the dark hair on his chest, astonished at the amount, and at her sudden unexplainable urge to touch it. She had never noticed Robert to have hair on his chest.

“You…you are both well?” she asked, her eyes stubbornly fixed on her brother’s face.

“Yes, thank you. It was brilliant of you to send supplies back with Henry. We ran out of bandages and I’m afraid we both ended up sacrificing our cravats to the cause.”

“You stayed and helped, Henry?” She couldn’t quite meet his eyes.

He nodded. “I may not know anything about medicine, but I can fetch and carry.”

“Were many people dreadfully injured?”

Robert nodded. “The men in the balloons were badly burned. We had to wrap several of them almost completely in bandages before it was safe to transport them to hospital.”

“But you are both well?” Her eyes flickered to Henry, finally meeting his gaze.

“Yes, my lady.” Henry answered. “I brought him home unsinged, as I promised.”

There was something more to the words than what he was saying, a more meaningful tone to them than just an answer to her question. She cocked her head to the side. “Do you always keep your promises?”

“Yes, Ellie. I do.”

He wasn’t boasting, she could tell. He was telling her the truth. He would never promise her something he couldn’t fulfill. And in that knowledge, she also knew that he wanted to promise her many more things.

Her hands twisted around each other like snakes. “Good. It is good to keep promises. Henry.” She wondered why his name now sounded foreign to her. It was like a long-familiar word had taken on an entirely new meaning overnight and she wasn’t quite sure how to pronounce it anymore. She looked down at her hands and clasped them firmly together. “You must both be famished after your exertions. I will leave you gentleman to your breakfast.” She turned and fled the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Two days later, Henry’s butler delivered a note from Robert with the morning mail as he ate his breakfast. It read, in its entirety, “Two pm. Today. We’ll retrieve you. Ellie has decided she adores flowers.” He could not hold back his laughter.

Precisely at two, his butler announced the arrival of Lord Harcourt. He accepted his hat from his butler and threw an arm around Robert’s shoulders as they descended the steps in front of his townhome. “You are a  _very_  accommodating brother.” He watched Robert try and fight back a smile and nodded to himself. His suspicions were correct.  As he climbed into the carriage, he asked Ellie, “So, we’ve moved on from adoring dancing to adoring flowers now, is it?”

Ellie laughed as the men situated themselves on the bench across from her. “Well, I still love dancing, but who couldn’t adore flowers? They are so ephemeral in their beauty. It must be why they are used to symbolize love so often.”

Robert looked at her askance. “Have you been reading poetry again?”

“I always read poetry. You know me. I may seem to have all the seriousness of a drunken squirrel, but I really do feel things quite deeply at heart.”

Robert laughed, but Henry saw the way her eyes had flickered to his as she had spoken and understood that despite her breezy tone she was being quite serious. “Who is your favorite poet?” he asked.

“I quite like John Keats, though I know he isn’t particularly revered. I also love the  _Aeneid_. That quest for a homeland resonates with me. If one has to choose between love and a home, one should choose a home.”

“That’s quite an odd sentiment from someone who loves romantic poetry. I would have imagined that you would believe in sacrificing everything for love,” Henry responded.

“If only you could trust love to last. St. Catherine’s will always be there for me. I’m not sure I could say that about any man. Except Robert of course, but I don’t think he counts.” She wrinkled her nose impudently at him. “Do you believe in lasting love, Lord Carlisle?” she asked, trying to sound as if she was only intellectually curious.

He thought for a moment. “I believe it’s possible. If two people are well matched, if they are both thoughtful of each other’s needs, humble enough to admit when they were wrong, and don’t marry for position or money. That’s rare enough these days, though so I guess it is hard to find evidence for it. But yes, I believe that it is possible.” His eyes met her speculative gaze calmly, though he knew she was carrying on this conversation on multiple levels simultaneously.

“And if you had to choose between love and a home, which would you choose?”

He pursed his lips as he thought about how to word his answer. Finally, he said, “Without love, a home is just a house.”

It wasn’t until she heard the reticence in his voice that she remembered that he had lost his parents while still in his teens and that was why Robert had always brought him home from university with him. She gazed out the window of the carriage at the grand houses and passing carriages. “I guess I shall just have to fall in love then.” Her voice didn’t sound nearly as flippant as she had hoped it would.

Her brooding silence hung heavy in the carriage. Wanting to see her smile again, and looking to inject some levity back into the conversation, he teased, “Besides, didn’t you quote Jane Austen at me the other night? The bit about needing a wife? That seems an odd reading choice for someone who doesn’t believe in love.”

Robert rounded on him with a look of disbelief. “ _You_  read Jane Austen novels?”

Henry laughed and the joyful sound drew a giggle from Ellie, which she hid behind her hand. “I’ve had Jane Austen novels read at me when I was visiting with my younger brother. His wife adored,” and here he smiled at Ellie, “the fellow from that Pride book. What was his name? Dingley? Darnley? Something like that.”

“Darcy!” Ellie exclaimed.

He laughed at her enthusiasm. “I take it you share her opinion?”

“He is rather perfect. Rich, handsome, beautiful house, and completely besotted with Elizabeth. As all rich eligible handsome men should be.” She grinned at her brother.

Robert snorted. “Surely you could be satisfied with just one.”

“I need them all to fall in love with me, so then I can have my pick. What happens if I fall in love with the one who doesn’t love me back? It would be tragic.” Her eyes sparkled with mischief as she made a moue of despair.

“I’m sure you could figure out how to make any man fall in love with you, Ellie,” Henry replied.

She raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at him. “Do you really think so, my lord?”

He was saved from having to answer by the coachman announcing their arrival at the botanical gardens.

The gentlemen spent the afternoon following Ellie around the gardens. She was in raptures over the colors and scents and the elaborate rose trellises. Henry wasn’t nearly as inspired by the flowers as Ellie was; his inspiration was found by admiring the graceful way she moved among the flower beds and her honest enjoyment of the beauty surrounding her. “Oh, to have your clothes sewn by God,” she murmured as she ran a hand down a vibrant stalk of foxglove.

A display of new daylilies caught her attention and she stopped to admire each new cultivar. “Which one is your favorite, Robert?”

Robert had learned that he was required to have favorites of everything when Ellie was still a child so he quickly picked one at random to prevent being pestered by her.

Ellie turned to Henry. “And you?”

He hesitated and Ellie tucked her arm through his and started dragging him, though dragging was not quite the right word for Henry willingly escorted her, through the flower beds, and helped him compare each plant, making him go back and forth between the ones he had admired until he settled on a particular plant.

She plucked off one of the blossoms of his declared favorite and tucked it in his buttonhole.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to be picking the flowers, Ellie,” Robert chided her.

“Daylily flowers only last a day. This way I can enjoy it while it lasts and there will be new blossoms tomorrow to enjoy.”

“So are you going to make me wear a daylily as well?”

She laughed. “No. You’re much too…” she tapped a gloved finger against her lips as she thought, “permanent for a daylily. You need something more steadfast and unchanging. Don’t worry. I’ll find you something to brighten your buttonhole as well, brother.”

She hooked her arm through her brother’s and tugged him to the next display. Half an hour later, she started laughing for no discernable reason and darted ahead, only to come back with a bright red and yellow blossom in her hand. “It’s called an everlasting flower,” she said as she tucked it into her brother’s lapel. “That is the flower for you.”

Henry’s slightly irritated watching of this scene was interrupted by a gardener chasing down the young lady and rebuking her for picking the flowers.

“Oh, I am  _so_  sorry,” she said with a charming smile. “I have admired your work so much here. In fact,” she showed him the little notebook she had been jotting information in all the afternoon, “I had some questions about a few of the plants I am completely unfamiliar with. Could you help me?” Her smiled seemed to have the same magical effect on the formerly grumpy gardener as it did on ever male in her presence. She hooked her arm through his and he followed along in her wake back to the plants under consideration, where she peppered him with questions about soil conditions and water requirements until the man’s overseer came looking for him.

“I didn’t realize you were such a collector,” Henry remarked as they finally sat down for tea in one of the garden’s cafes. Robert excused himself and went to talk to someone across the room.

She removed her gloves and poured tea for him. “I love to collect beautiful things. Art, plants, music, people,” she added with a smile. “I want to gather them all together as I find them and then bring them all home with me to surround the people I care about. I may sound a perfect Gypsy some days, but really, I want a home strewn with all that is good and beautiful and lovely and filled with a big family and friends. That would be perfect.” She poured her own cup and then patted the little notebook that rested on the table. “I’ve made lists of things I’ve seen over the years in here, things I want to emulate or acquire once I have a home of my own. And now I guess I can. St. Catherine’s is mine to do with what I wish. So maybe I’ll start there.” She added a slice of lemon to her tea and sipped so she would have something to do with her hands besides fidget and twist her gloves abominably.

Carefully maintaining a neutral tone, Henry asked, “And if you fall in love? Will you so easily give up St. Catherine’s to move to your husband’s estate?”

Her eyes flickered to his face, suddenly feeling hesitant to continue this conversation, but she nodded. “Truth be told, I’ve never really lived at St. Catherine’s. I visited a few times as a child, and always knew that someday it would belong to me. A cousin and his family live there now and manage it and I hold it mostly in title. I could move there if I chose, but I really have no emotional connection to it.”

He smiled, partly at her and partly to himself. “Then I think you are entirely too young to put dreams of love away on a shelf and wall yourself into a convent just yet,” he reassured her.

“Ah, but you assume dreams of love are a good thing. Some dreams of love turn out horribly,” she murmured.

“Have you had your heart broken?” Henry was surprised by the sudden urge he had to hurt whoever had trampled upon her delicate feelings.

“Not I.” She shook her head, setting the feathers in her hat bobbing. “Though that may just be because of luck rather than any wisdom or sensibility on my part.” She hesitated before she continued. “My best friend at school, Suzette, fell in love with a young man. He proposed marriage to her, and then bedded her. She found herself with child and when she told him, he called her the most awful names and denied he had anything to do with it. She died birthing the babe.” She refused to meet his gaze as she stared out over the gardens, but he could see her eyes welling with tears.

“That was not love.” Henry’s voice was quiet and firm. “She may have loved him, but he just spoke the words to take advantage of her.”

She turned back to him. “But how is a young lady supposed to know the difference? Is there some magic that a woman can work to tell between words spoken true and in vain?” Henry had never heard her so bitter. “If there is, please let me know, so I can be assured of avoiding a similar fate. Some men kill women’s bodies; others marry them and then kill their souls.”

He reached a hand across the table and placed it over hers that was resting there, letting his strong fingers curl over her delicate ones. “Elizabeth, nothing like that will ever happen to you. Can you imagine Robert letting a man near you that he didn’t completely and totally trust? He knows how your father treated your mother. He would never let that happen to you.” He swallowed. “And I won’t either,” he felt compelled to add.

Their gazes locked across the wrought iron table. Henry wondered if Elizabeth understood the full import of what he was saying and Ellie wondered if Henry really meant what his words implied, or if it was just a reassuring speech. As she looked at him, the way he leaned forward slightly, the dip of the chin and the rise of the brows, she suddenly fell short of breath.  She wondered if she had tired herself walking the gardens for so long before she realized she was so mesmerized by the way he was looking at her that she had actually stopped breathing. She tore her gaze away and took a quivering breath. Henry watched confusion and surprise cross Ellie’s face, and then the way her lips parted as she inhaled and looked down at her lap. He softly stroked his fingers against the back of her hand and saw a blush lightly tint her cheeks. She hesitantly brushed her thumb against his in response and then looked at him again, shyly meeting his gaze and the poetry of his eyes’ adoration of her. Before either one could say anything, Ellie saw Robert returning from across the room and snatched back her hand. He sat down and asked, “So, what are you two talking about?”

Ellie handed him a plate of cake and said, “Friends from school.”

“Did I tell you about the time I bet Henry he couldn’t steal all the bread off the masters’ table without them noticing? He almost did it, too.” Robert’s laughter was contagious, and they all turned to happier stories.

***

In the following weeks, Henry grew used to a note from Robert every few days asking him for company as he chaperoned his sister on one of her adventures. Riding in the park, another lecture at the Royal Geographical Society, a garden tea on Hampstead Heath for a charitable organization, a trip to a bookshop that had included an impromptu detour to the milliner next door where she spent an hour trying on hats and pestering both of them for their opinions on each chapeau. He had actually ended up enjoying that hour more than he would have thought likely. He and Robert had been summarily banished to a sofa at the front of the store and supplied with tea, biscuits, and the paper while Ellie and the milliner discussed every possible arrangement of straw and silk and feathers and other materials he had never even considered as belonging to a hat.

Every few minutes Ellie would approach the two of them with a hat she particularly liked and model it for them with a sweetly insouciant smile and sparkling eyes. With no mother or sisters, he had been spared the discussions of ladies fashion over the breakfast table for the last several years and had found himself at a loss for intelligent comments on the difference between silk or satin for lining a bonnet. His participation was of a more practical bent as he started to pick up on styles that he particularly liked on her, and encouraged her towards those and away from the ones that had an entire bird on them. Robert had spent his time snickering behind his paper as Henry engaged in a conversation on what Ellie considered glaring differences between what appeared to him to be two practically identical hats, and Henry had punched him squarely in the arm when Ellie went back to change hats again.

Each outing was an occasion for Henry to spend more time with Ellie, and Robert adroitly managed to leave them alone for a few minutes, giving them precious moments of togetherness. Henry lived for those fleeting minutes when he had her undivided attention. The more he saw of her, the more he cared for her. Unfortunately, the more time he spent with her, the less sure he was of her affection for him. When they were together, just the two of them, he could see the color bloom in her cheeks like roses and hear the slight hitch in her breath if he stood a few inches too close to her. The few times when he had actually dared to touch her hand, she never removed it from his caress. However, when they were with others, she paid him no special attention. Her smiles were freely bestowed on all around her, and her dance cards were always full. He was the one who sought her out; she never came looking for him. At least she always called him Henry now. He couldn’t tell if she was behaving with decorum by not encouraging his advances, or if she was simply humoring him for the sake of her brother and their false courting. But shouldn’t she be more affectionate in public than in private if they were supposed to be imitating a courting couple? Trying to figure this out was making his head hurt and also making him remember why he hadn’t seriously courted a woman in years. If the possible prize was anything less than the angel that had decided to hide her wings and claim the name Ellie, he probably wouldn’t have bothered, even with his family nagging him that he now had a responsibility to marry and produce heirs as soon as possible.

He knew he needed to just ask Ellie about her feelings. If Robert’s medical practice had been less erratic, he could have called on her at home and talked to her there. As it was, he never knew when Robert would be there and he dreaded the thought of undertaking that conversation with her mother watching him. Ellie’s mother took a low view of men in general, and she was fully acquainted with many of the escapades he and Robert had gotten involved in when they were younger, escapades which she blamed entirely on him since Robert was constitutionally incapable of erring in the eyes of his doting mother. He wasn’t sure that even being an earl would make up for past indiscretions in the eyes of her mother.

He sighed.  _Tonight, then_ , he thought. He knew they had both been invited to the same ball. He would have to find a way to get her alone for a few minutes. He had to know if her feelings matched his own.


	4. Chapter 4

The ballroom sparkled in the candlelight. Ellie was half convinced that Lady Stedlington was hosting this ball solely to show off the three new crystal chandeliers that she had imported from France and installed in the ballroom. If Ellie had been in a better mood, she might have been enchanted by the way the crystals threw rainbows of light over the room, but right now it was just so much glass and false pomp. The musicians were the slightest bit sharp, the food tasted like sawdust, and other women were wearing prettier dresses than her. Ellie was by herself, an odd occurrence at a ball where her normal  _modus operandi_  was to be surrounded by a flock of admiring men, like the brightly colored center of a black-petaled flower. Every interaction was like stabbing herself in the thumb with her embroidery needle, and even the light-hearted chatter and gossip in the ladies’ retiring room couldn’t bring a smile to her face. She had managed to position herself at the edge of a hallway where it would have been rude for others to congregate  and block the passage to ensure herself some solitude without being so rude as to leave the party early, especially now that Robert was dancing, something he rarely did. She kept trying to see who the young lady was that had finally tempted her brother onto the dance floor but it was so crowded she couldn’t get a good view.

Henry walked up behind Ellie’s shoulder and watched her watch the dancing. He finally said, “You are bored.”

She had known he was there before he spoke. Indeed, she was painfully aware of him lately. In fact, he was one the main sources of her current irritability. She thought he cared for her yet he never made any attempt to see her by himself; it always fell to Robert to invite him. When they were together, he was charming and attentive, and when they had a moment alone together, even showed affection. But he never acted on it! Why hadn’t he called upon her at home? Thoughts of the wilder days of his youth beset her with worries. Was this just a game to him? Had her plan of a fake courtship actually been an invitation to him to play with her emotions like this? She didn’t bother turning around when she answered. “Yes. How many of these identical balls have I gone to this season? There’s not a hair’s difference between them, and the people are full of the most nattering nonsense. Shouldn’t there be something to talk about besides hemlines and who gave whom the cut direct?”

Henry swallowed nervously. “Actually, there was something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Ellie turned to him, an eyebrow raised in interest. “Say on.”

“Would you care to get some fresh air? I find that they have overcrowded the ball room and we could talk out in the gardens.”

“Of course.” She took his proffered arm and followed him out the French doors onto the veranda. They found a bench at the edge of the noise and light spilling out from the house and sat on the ornately twisted wrought iron.

After a long awkward silence, Ellie finally said, “There was something you wished to discuss with me, Henry?”

Henry took a deep breath. “Lady Elizabeth,” he started.

Ellie interrupted. “Lady Elizabeth? You sound like my mother about to give me a scolding.” She sounded irritated, though she attempted to mask it with a laugh.

Henry shook his head, “No, but I feel like I must call you Lady Elizabeth. I must call you Lady Elizabeth because I feel that I must be honest with you and end this false courtship that we have been playing at. I would not…”

Elizabeth surged to her feet. “Very well, Lord Carlisle. I will trouble you with my dishonesty no longer. Good evening, sir.” She hurried back towards the ballroom.

“Ellie!” He stood and called after her.

She turned to him, and with ice in her voice she said, “You do not have the right to address me on such familiar terms. Good bye, my lord.” Amid the curious glances of the others enjoying the cool darkness, Elizabeth stalked back into the ballroom. Henry collapsed down on the bench, wondering how everything had gone wrong.

Several minutes later Henry reentered the ballroom. He joined Robert where he stood along the side of the dance floor. Robert looked at Henry’s pale face and back at his sister, who sat across the ballroom surrounded by a bevy of admirers.

“I do believe my sister has developed a  _tendre_ for you, Henry,” Robert said quietly.

“Really? You wouldn’t know it by the way she spoke to me just now,” Henry replied, also watching Elizabeth laugh gaily at a remark made by one of the men swarming around her.

“Yes. She falls back into this flirtatious nitwit routine when she’s scared of getting her heart hurt. If she doesn’t care what happens, then she is safe.”

Henry considered this silently. Elizabeth looked across the dance floor and saw them watching her. Immediately she turned to the man next to her and accepted his proffered hand with a bright smile. Henry frowned as the man led her into a waltz.

“I do believe I have fallen in love with your sister,” Henry said quietly.

Robert absorbed this news with no reaction. “Well, it looks like you’ve made a right mess of it, haven’t you?”

Henry nodded. “I have.” He turned on his heel and left the ball.

***

The next morning as Elizabeth and Robert sat eating breakfast, the butler entered. “A package for you, miss,” he said. He left a flat rectangular package wrapped in brown paper next to her plate. It was addressed to The Baroness of St. Catherine’s, The Lady Elizabeth Harcourt in a large angular script and there was no return address. She undid the paper and found a copy of John Keats  _Poems._  “How odd. I don’t remember purchasing this.” Upon examination, she found a letter tucked inside the front cover. She opened the folded pages and read:

_4 th of June, 1880_

_Lady Elizabeth Harcourt,_

_I take pen to paper in a humble attempt to correct the impression I must have given you last night as we spoke in the garden. Please forgive my ill use of words and any hurt it may have caused. I find that I have the dreadful misfortune of saying precisely the wrong thing when it is most important to use exactly the right words. Hopefully you will find me more skilled in writing than in speech._

_I wish to end our play courtship because I want to court you in earnest. Over the last few weeks I have developed an affection for you that has grown and intensified the more I have come to know you. To continue to call you Ellie, a right I earned as an honorary brother, implies that I only view you as a little sister. But you are not a little sister to me. You are the most beautiful and spirited woman I have ever known and I find that the friendship we have long enjoyed has been added to, at least on my part, by a romantic attachment. I wish to call you Ellie again, but only once I have gained that level of familiarity in a more intimate relationship._

_Unfortunately, I shall most likely be on the train as you read this as I have to go to York for the next several weeks. I did not want to wait until I returned to correct the impression I may have given you last night. As a token of my affection, I have enclosed my copy of John Keats’_ Poems _. I noticed you looking at the volume at the bookstore the other day, but you did not purchase it. I believe I will find much more beauty in the thought of you reading it than in any of the poems it contains._

_If my affection is not desired you have but to speak the word and I will be silent on this matter. However, if my feelings are shared by you, or could be shared by you if encouraged by me, please, relieve my mind from the sufferings it undergoes at the thought of the hurt that I caused you by speaking so poorly last night._

_I remain, as always, your devoted servant,_

_Lord Carlisle_

Elizabeth flushed a becoming shade of pink as she read through the note. Delight warred in her heart with embarrassment over how she had behaved the night before. She read through the letter again, dwelling on the words, “I wish to call you Ellie again.”

Robert surreptitiously watched Ellie read the note while pretending to be absorbed in the morning paper. “So, who was the package from?”

Elizabeth folded the letter and tucked it back in the front cover of the book. “Hen-, I mean Lord Carlisle sent me a book he thought I would enjoy. He is very thoughtful. Excuse me, I have things I must do this morning.” She got up and hurried from the room.

Robert smiled and went back to reading his newspaper.

***

Elizabeth sat in the morning room at her writing desk, a large quill clutched in her hand and a stain of ink on her finger. On the ornate rug surrounding her chair were several crumpled pages. She read through the letter she had just finished, making sure it was perfect.

_5 th of June, 1880_

_Lord Carlisle,_

_It is not you that needs beg forgiveness, but I. I must humbly beg your forgiveness for my abominable temper and the display of pique I subjected you to last night. I can barely stand to think of how I must have appeared to you and the embarrassment to which I subjected you without feeling my soul shrink in shame. It is a miracle that you still have any gentle feelings for me left at all, and I think it must be a sign of your greater and stronger character that you can overlook such a deficit of virtue and decorum on my part._

_You must know, surely you must, that I do care for you, in a way that I never thought to feel for a man at all in my life. I had treasured up the hope that perhaps you, too, had developed these feelings for me, but I was uncertain as to if you were just humoring the little sister of your friend, or if your heart had actually been touched by a tender softness for my unworthy self. I leapt to the worst possible conclusion when you spoke to me. If only I had been more patient, more trusting in your goodness, what a sweet memory we might both have. Instead, I can only look forward to seeing you again in the future when your business concludes, and hope that you will still care for me in that coming day._

_I do not have your facility for choosing a perfect token to remind you of my unworthy self, but I enclose herein a lock of my hair. It is the traditional token of a maiden to her knight in shining armor. I entrust it to your safekeeping against the day we are reunited again._

_Devotedly,_

_Lady Elizabeth_

She nodded in satisfaction at her missive and went to fetch her embroidery scissors to cut a lock of her hair. 


	5. Chapter 5

_7th of June, 1880_

_My dearest Lady Elizabeth,_

_I must admit that my heart skipped a beat when I saw your letter enclosed amongst the post that my butler Jacobson brought me this afternoon. I was not sure if your quick response presaged good or bad news for my affections. However, upon opening your letter, I saw the lock of your hair and knew that you had forgiven my poor skills in courting and shared my feelings. It was one of the happiest moments in my life. Then I read your lovely words and was even more touched to know that you have shared this growth in our attachment to each other. I too look forward to the day when we can be together again, that I might see the sweet appearance of your face as I confess my feelings to you in person. Let me be so bold here as to say that I do not find you in any way unworthy of the regard that I have for you. It is I who am unworthy of your esteem, but I shall strive to earn the care that you have so magnanimously bestowed upon me._

_My visit here to Castle Howard has not gotten off to a particularly auspicious start. It seems the staff resent me for taking the place of the true earl and his family, who I gather were much beloved. Apparently, it was a love match between the lord and his lady and they had four children ranging in age from four through twelve. All were lost when the ship capsized, as were several members of the staff who traveled with the family. I must admit they have the right of it, for I feel much like an interloper here. I had been apprised of the size of the house and the grounds, but that did not prepare me for the immensity of this house and the lands pertaining to it. There are three villages here in relatively close proximity and another two more distant over which I am in charge. The house has a thousand acres for pure leisure, and then there are another twelve thousand acres under production in some capacity or another. Those lands are used to support the more than thousand households in the villages. I do not think I will ever be able to dabble again. From here on out, it is to be hard work, yoked to the plow of these people. I do not know if I shall prove myself worthy of the trust. There is so much to be done, and I fear I know so little about how to do it that I shall bring this land and these people to ruin._

_Additionally, I now find myself blessed with a surfeit of servants. Did you notice I have a new butler? Though, I must admit, I do not think you ever met Hansen, Robert is familiar with his stoic and impeccable service. Jacobsen, however, has been butler to the Carlisle line since before the previous earl took the title. He is loyal and faithful, and I am sure has forgotten more about the family and lands than most people have ever known. I feel myself measured and being found wanting every time I interact with him. I should like to bring Hansen here, but I think it would be an unforgiveable breach of etiquette and cause an irreparable rift with the rest of the staff. I would enjoy a familiar face here, though. However, if I may be honest, Hansen is not the first person I would choose to install here in a position of permanency. I can think of someone else I would much rather have assume a lasting station of utmost importance here that would bring me much more joy and comfort._

_The house is lonely. I have received visits from a few of the local families; however, their society is not what I have been accustomed to in London. The easy sociality I enjoyed there with many friends and acquaintances does not exist here. I shall have to have a house party soon where I can bring my friends here to the country to stay for a while. I hope the surroundings will improve much when graced with familiar faces. I dare say that your beauty would improve any setting in which it was found, and your smile would make any home feel like heaven._

_Sooner or later I shall have to deal with the combining of properties. The little household I have maintained in London with which you have a small acquaintance, while perfectly acceptable for a bachelor of little rank and smaller fortune, shall have to give way to the grand house that the earl maintained there. Though, perhaps I shall sell both properties and look for something new. The house here is indelibly tied to this title, and indeed, it so glorious that I would not wish to relinquish it even if it were a possibility. However, I think it might be nice to have a home that I have chosen that isn’t haunted by the ghosts, literal or metaphorical, of this line to which I am now tied. As I lose so much of myself to this position and its history, it might be nice to have a place that it solely mine and new. I feel a need to make some new beginnings, to start fresh with determination in the way that I intend to go on._

_These are matters that do not need to be decided on today. The steward has a list as long as the Thames of items he thinks to need to be dealt with yesterday and is impatiently waiting for me as I finish this letter to you, for you, my lady Elizabeth, shall always take priority over any other responsibilities that wait for me._

_I shall keep your lock of hair in my breast pocket so it resides over my heart._

_Until we meet again, I remain,_

_your admiring and devoted servant,_

_Lord Carlisle_


	6. Chapter 6

_10 th of June, 1880_

_My dear Lord Carlisle,_

_I was humbled by your quick response to my little letter, but I must beg you not to put off your important responsibilities to dance attendance on me. There is so much that you have to do, and I am willing to wait until you have a free moment to write me rather than add any tiny amount to the burdens you must face every day. Please do not allow me to distract you from things that are more important._

_Upon reading your letter, the only thing I could think is that this must be what Miss Austen meant when she wrote that men of fortune must be in want of a wife, for, upon conversing with my brother, it appears that household management is not something of which he has any knowledge even though he is a marquis and Standford is a sizeable estate. It appears that men of good breeding are taught to read law and play cards, and there is much attention given to the proper way to tie a cravat, but little in the useful arts. I shall copy out several sections of my lady’s book on household management and enclose them in this letter for you to peruse. You shall have to change some pronouns, but I do believe it might settle your nerves._

_If matters at hand occupy you so that you have no time to read the enclosed pages, I can sum up most of what a man of your rank needs to know in a single sentence: Hire good staff and let them do their jobs. As long as the staff that was lost did not include the steward, the housekeeper, the head cook, or the butler, your woes should mostly be at an end. Those four truly run the house and the grounds. It is your job to mostly look over their reports and make sure they are being honest. If you have any ideas for improvements to the grounds or villages, talk to the steward. To the house itself, consult the butler and housekeeper. Send your compliments to the cook on a regular basis, or send her a note asking her to make that delicious dish she served last week again for you enjoyed it so._

_You do make the house and grounds sound immense. It is difficult to imagine the scope of which you speak, but surely the steward must know them well. Do not feel that you are undertaking this task alone for there are many whose job it is to help you succeed, and I doubt not that you will find others who are willing to yoke their plow with yours as you labor._

_As for them resenting you, do not fear. I do not believe they truly resent you; indeed I doubt anyone could truly resent you for you are the very embodiment of charming manners and gentlemanly character. You must consider, though, that most of them have probably been in service to that family since the late earl married his lady. They are grieving an enormous loss. Imagine what a pain you would feel if your brother, his wife and their children were lost, and then a new man moved into their house, and expected you to call him brother. Over time they will heal, but you must give them the time they need. They will serve you now; they will come to love you later._

_I know that it is not my place to do this, but if I may be so impudent as to give some additional advice, call the staff together and reassure them of their place in the home. Thank them for the service they have given in making the difficult transition as easy as possible. Call their excellent service a tribute to the late earl and his family. Talk to the butler, and ascertain if the staff was allowed to have a private memorial service for the family. If not, tell him to make arrangements to do so. Open the pantries and cellars to them. Ask the housekeeper what the favorite flowers of the lady were. Gather those from the gardens and take them to the family cemetery and place them yourself. Let them see that you understand you are part of the Carlisle tradition, and respect your place within that tradition. It just occurred to me that with the manner of their deaths, they may not be interred in the family cemetery. If not, then a monument to the family should definitely be erected._

_As for your butler Hansen, I do not know that I have any advice which would suit at this time. I have not had the fortuitous luck to deal with such a surfeit of riches as you find trouble you at this instant. But do not think I tease you in your troubles. I could not imagine having to replace my lady’s maid with one chosen by another. I know you could not ask one to serve under the other, as that would be a demotion of the utmost insult, and I do not suppose you could have dual butlers. If you tried it, you would end up having dueling butlers, I’m sure._

_Might I inquire as to whether or not Jacobsen is particularly old? If so, perhaps a house in one of the villages and a pension would persuade him to retire? It occurs to me, though, that perhaps my unfamiliarity with how you have run your household may be hindering me here. Did you actually maintain a separate valet and butler for your lodgings? For a bachelor, that seems odd, especially since I don’t remember you taking many meals at home, but rather eating at your clubs. Or, do you have such an extensive wardrobe that it takes an entire person to keep it brushed and polished? If so, I would expect you to be much more knowledgeable about the trends in millinery than you have previously shown yourself to be. You do always have a perfectly tied cravat, so mayhaps you keep him around just for that. Robert’s is never so stylishly done, and if you do end up giving this man, the source of the most impeccably tied neck cloths in all London, his references, I shall beg you to send him to Robert immediately and rescue me from the sight of one more misshapen cravat across the dinner table._

_You may doubt in your ability to do this thing or to become this thing. I’m not sure which it would be, for is an earl something one does or something one is? Whichever it is, you say you doubt that you have the ability to be an earl and to lead a household and to govern lands and people, but please allow me to disagree with you in this one area. I have a steady and fixed belief that you will succeed in this endeavor. You are a good man in a world where there are too few. Gentlemen often turn out to be scoundrels, and the vulnerable find themselves abused and lost, but I assure you, my dear lord, that I would not have entrusted my tender feelings to someone unless I felt sure that he was capable of making all of my dreams of a happy future come true. You have shown yourself on many occasions to be humble and hardworking. I am brought to remember the fire a few weeks past. You turned your hand to whatever could be done to help alleviate suffering, regardless of the cost to you and your person. I was affrighted to see your disheveled condition in the morning because it made me comprehend in a way that I had not before how much danger you had placed yourself in to help those to whom you had no obligation. You shall have an even greater ability to work for the betterment of those to whom you do have ties of responsibility. That revelation of your character is one of many reasons that I dwell upon those brief moments from that morning._

_I know that you have had a tragic childhood, and that has made you wary at times of hoping for a better tomorrow. That pain, though it will always be tender, I believe could serve as a source of insight and compassion as you move forward in assuming your position leading a region that has, in many ways, lost its parents as well. I do not know your whole past, but I feel that I have come to know your heart, and it is loyal and strong and brave. You may have not been born to this position, but I cannot imagine anyone more worthy of it than you._

_I trust in you completely._

_With affection,_

_Lady Elizabeth_


	7. Chapter 7

_14 th of June, 1880_

_My darling Lady Elizabeth,_

_The sight of a letter from you tucked among the other mail that Jacobsen brings to me instantly makes me smile and the sun shines a little brighter when I see your lovely flowing hand forming my name. I believe Jacobsen finds the speed with which I pluck out your letter from the others and dismiss him so I can read your words to be a source of amusement, but I would rather be disturbed at any other point in the day than when I have one of your letters to savor._

_Your last letter has been a source of great wisdom to me. Along with the pages you copied from your lady’s book, the advice you gave me has proved to be a wonderful source of help during this time of transition. It appears that many of the servants thought that I would be replacing them all with my personal staff – it makes me wonder how many servants they think I have crammed into my house in London – and were worried that they would be turned out. Things are much calmer now, and I feel less like an invader and more like a stranger, which I shall consider progress in the correct direction._

_As a result of following your advice, I now know how completely unprepared I am for this role. I asked the steward to assemble the staff so that I could address them all together. Apparently, and I was not aware of this, assembling the indoor staff and the outdoor staff together is simply not done. The indoor staff is under the supervision of the butler and the outdoor staff reports to the steward, and never the twain shall meet. The very idea of having both indoor staff and outdoor staff is a little overwhelming. When I met the first group, I assumed that I was meeting everyone there were so many of them only to find out that I was greatly mistaken. Of course, I found out that it was not everyone when I asked Jacobsen where the steward was, and was told, “Outside, with the grounds staff.” “Very good,” I replied, unaware at the time of the enormous social faux pas I had just committed by assuming the steward would be at a meeting of the house servants. Stewards, as I have since learned, are not servants in the sense of the butler or housekeeper. This makes me feel much better about always offering the man tea and biscuits as we’re working together. I had thought I was being overly solicitous, but apparently, I was simply not being an oaf._

_The group of outdoor servants was even larger, though not as neatly dressed as the first. I asked my steward, Parker is the man’s name, exactly how many servants we employed, and he remarked, “We are currently down to two hundred thirty-seven.” Two hundred thirty-seven! I am aghast at the thought. I have no idea how I will ever remember their names, and I didn’t even meet all of them. There are about one hundred forty that are mostly farmers and estate workers that I didn’t meet according to what the steward told me. I shall take his word for it. He could be lying through his teeth and I would just continue to nod my head and say, ‘Very good.’ I shall trust that he is not lying until given evidence to the contrary. Also, I am not exactly sure what an estate worker is or does, and there is no one around here I feel comfortable asking. I shan’t ask the steward. I know he would tell me, but I refuse to admit such a basic lack of understanding to a man I employ. Perhaps I shall write Robert and ask him. I asked Parker and Jacobsen for a list of all of the servants and have found that I am in possession of a seventh housemaid, a third under-gardener, and a fourth footmen, as well as a gamekeeper, several stable hands, a few dairymaids and a large array of other people that I have no idea what they do around here. I am also not sure where they all are. I see only a score of them about the house and in the stables. They must be around here somewhere. I have a still-room maid. I have no idea what that is, but I have one. I feel as if it is Christmas and I am presiding over a pageant of “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”_

_I hated maths in school, and my time is spent here in a very dreary sort of modern mathematical way in which people are toted up into columns and labeled wages, and a new horse is both an income and an outflow of resources, and the wheat that I added up on page fifty-six of the steward’s ledger is subtracted on page seventy-three of the housekeeper’s record book. I spend hours each afternoon reading ledgers and planning books until my eyes cross. I may steal Robert away for a week and ask him to teach me what in the world it is that I am reading. Without your gentle reminder, I would have forgotten that the man is actually a marquess now that your father has passed and besides being a physician in his spare time actually manages his estate as well. I have many happy memories of Standford. It seems odd to think that was once a place of leisure and mischief for both of us is now a place of responsibility for him. Do you remember the time I came to visit and you insisted that Robert and I take you on a picnic and you ended up falling into the stream and losing your shoe? I believe you also managed to accidently catch a frog in the pocket of your pinafore if I recall correctly._

_If Robert does not have time for me, and I can understand why he wouldn’t with all of his responsibilities, I shall go back to university and start again as the humblest of students. I probably should have paid more attention in these last few months as people tried to explain the immensity of the undertaking ahead of me, but it is one of those topics where it is so foreign you don’t even know what questions to ask. I’m not sure what in the world I am supposed to do with 13,000 acres. At this time I am just carrying forward the late earl’s plans because I assume he knew what he was doing. I have been informed by reliable sources that there is a tennis court around here somewhere but I haven’t found it yet. It wouldn’t surprise me if there is an entire Roman legion marching around in the trees that has been lost for hundreds of years._

_I keep reminding myself of your advice that I am not doing this all by myself. It occurs to me that this at least explains the rather scandalous number of servants; it gives them all something to do. I’m honestly not sure which comes first – do I have servants because I have land, or do I have land because I have servants? Unlike many of the things I have learned over the last week, I was delighted to discover that I have a falconer and an under-falconer on staff. The late earl was determined to reestablish the sport, and there are several birds in the mew that are trained and one of the pairs of red-tailed hawks fledged three eyases this spring, so there will be new birds to train. I remember that you mentioned that you flew falcons in Europe. Was that something you enjoyed? I made an appointment to go inspect the birds tomorrow and learn more about them. I have never been hawking, but I find the idea very regal sounding._

_I shall also be meeting with the master of the hounds (Does that sound pretentious to you? I also have a master of horse, and a stablemaster. It is starting to sound pretentious to me, so I shall stop.) about running a hunt. The stable has several beautiful hunters that I would love to take out for a run. Is it a sign that my character is fatally flawed if I say that this is one of the few parts of this new life that I am looking forward to without reservation? The ballrooms of London may boast the beauties of society, but other than the opportunity to waltz with you, they pale behind the thrill of a hunter at full gallop following a pack of baying hounds into the woods. Forgive me this indulgence and I promise to spoil one of yours in return._

_Along with learning all about the servants of both the indoor and outdoor variety, Parker has been showing me the current way the land is used.  I spend almost every afternoon in a ramble with him, either afoot or on horseback as he shows me in person up until now what I have only seen in books and ledgers. There are sheep and cows and pigs and chicken and geese and at least one foul-tempered peacock which screams at me if I get too close to it when I go out for a walk in the morning. Of course, it expects me to keep my distance while it walks where it wants as if it were master of the grounds rather than I. I have started to wonder on a daily basis what peacock tastes like. Goose is quite tasty when prepared correctly, and this thing is even meaner that the geese I have had the misfortune to encounter on my walks, so I think that bodes well for it being dinner one night. I shall replace it with an elephant confident in the knowledge we would all be safer with the change. And then we grow wheat and barley and other things – I sound such an imbecile that I can’t remember what they are – and have a garden kitchen that I am fairly certain is larger than Whitehall. There are also extensive formal gardens and some other sort that I can’t remember the particular name of and an arboretum. Every time I see the flowers blooming here I think of how much you would enjoy seeing them. I find my thoughts turn to you often. You are never far from my mind, just as you are never absent from my heart._

_Regarding my plethora of butlers, I admit that Hansen served as valet and butler in London, and I have brought him here to serve as my valet. I talked to him about the situation, and was relieved to discover that he has no desire to be butler here right now. He claims the idea of running the house terrifies him and we had a laugh when I admitted my shared terror of being in charge. I should probably not be so familiar with him, but his is the only face I know here, and it provides me a sense of continuity when everything else is so strange. Hansen is content to be my valet now, with the plan that I will have Jacobsen train him as a potential replacement down the line. I do apologize that this means you will be forced to continue to endure poorly tied cravats across the dining table. Perhaps I will have to do something to remove that hardship from your future._

_As for the rest of your advice, I have followed it as well. The day your letter arrived I asked for the cook to repeat one of the dishes she had made previously because I had found it remarkably enjoyable, and the assortment of biscuits with tea has improved greatly in both quality and quantity since then. She also makes a sponge cake that I think you would especially enjoy. The changes you have worked around this house without even placing your foot on the grounds are magical. It makes me wonder who you could not bring under your spell if you put your mind to it. Perhaps we should install you in the Foreign Office and you could bring about peace for the Empire. However, I am selfish, and would wish to see you more often than would be possible if you were always consulting with heads of state and wandering the halls of Parliament._

_My lady, it may not sound it from this letter, but I am feeling more comfortable here. I would not declare myself yet at home, but there are scattered moments where I think that I will eventually feel like I belong in this study with the wide expanse of lawn out my window that slopes down to a lake. It is a view that I think you would find enchanting. I am still overwhelmed by what I face, but I remind myself that I do not face this task alone. There are many willing and loyal workers here, but your letter reminds me that not all of my support comes from here at Castle Howard. I feel that some of my most ardent and devoted support comes from you and your belief in me. I am honoured that someone of your gentle spirit and sparkling intellect trusts so much in my capacity. It fills me with the desire to prove that your trust is correctly placed. I know that I am not currently the person that you believe me to be, but I will endeavour to become that man so that I may guard you from any disappointment. I will do anything you ask of me. Please believe that to be true._

_Your most loyal servant,_

_Carlisle_

 


	8. Chapter 8

_18 th of June, 1880_

_My dear Carlisle,_

_First off, you are not allowed to kill the peacock! I’ve never seen one in person. Of course, my lord, you are allowed to do whatever you will with your possessions, but please don’t. Maybe you can use one of the two hundred thirty-seven servants in your retinue to shoo it away from you as you walk._

_And you are correct, my lord, in thinking that you have a very large number of servants. How are you ‘down’ to that many servants? Where are you understaffed? It sounds like you have at least one of everything under the sun. It should ease your conscience to know that you aren’t expected to know most of their names. You probably won’t even see most of them. An estate worker is just what it sounds like – someone who works on the estate. Think of them as sort of an ad hoc army, able to turn their hand to whatever task the steward sets. They will keep the buildings in good repair, smooth out bumps in the road, or build a new bridge if that is what you desire. Also, a still-room is where they make things like candles and infused oils, but probably more to your interest, beer, wine, and jelly._

_If Robert does not have time for you, and I shall scold him most severely if he does not, for you have always been his most loyal and true companion, I have a little bit of experience with account books. I would look at the ones from St. Catherine’s when I was a child, just to feel important while Robert was having his lessons, and got in the habit of reviewing them on a semi-regular basis. Now that I am actually the holder and not heir, I have made a more earnest effort to become familiar with the little place that is mine and how it is run. Of course, it in no ways compares to what you have to deal with, but perhaps my assistance would be preferable to facing years of university. I know it is very brazen of me to put myself forward so, and I expect you to laugh at the idea of me at your desk with my head bent over a ledger._

_I have flown falcons before and I do love it. It is completely different from a dog or horse where you can feel a bond of affection with the animal. You may feel connected to the bird, but you have to make yourself remember that it has absolutely no affection for you. There is always a risk that their wild instinct will take over and they will not come back every time you fly them. I do not think I would be able to fly a red tailed hawk, especially a female, however, for they are much bigger than the birds I have flown. My preferred bird to go hunting with is a peregrine falcon; their stoop makes me hold my breath every time I see it. My friend flew a kestrel just for fun. It was a beautiful bird to watch hunt, though of course they don’t produce any actual game for the table._

_And your fondness for the hunt is not a flaw in your character; I believe it to be an asset. Indeed, I can’t imagine an earl that would not love to spend as much time as possible in a red jacket or out with a pack of pointers flushing pheasant to the wing for a shoot. I am sure you will look quite gallant on horseback leading the county out for a hunt. You should start a tradition – an annual hunting weekend for the county. Fox hunt on horseback, fishing, pheasant, even flying your falcons. Do you know if the late earl encouraged any of his neighbors to start their own mews? If not, you could start a fashion for them.  Robert expressed quite an interest in the birds when I mentioned them to him. I can’t recall the last time he seemed so intrigued by an idea as when I told him about your mews. If you do have him up to help you get more comfortable with your responsibilities, I advise you to search his luggage before he leaves or he may smuggle one of the birds away in a hatbox. He sends his regards to you. I am not sure what prevents him from picking up a pen and sending them himself, but I enclose them on his behalf._

_I have just read your letter again and I think I have answered all your questions. I am very happy you are keeping Hansen and will not lose your finely tied cravats. They are the perfect finishing accent to your handsomeness. Is it beyond the pale to commit to writing that I find you handsome? You must surely know you are, for you see yourself in the mirror every morning. I know I used to tease you about your curls when I was a child and pull them and laugh. The urge has not passed, but I do not think I would laugh if I were to touch your hair now. And yes, I remember that ill-fated picnic very well. There was indeed a frog involved, and my shoe was never recovered from its watery grave. Still, I think you and Robert refusing to take me on a picnic for the rest of the summer was a very harsh punishment. The tree had fallen across the river in such a picturesque manner that it was impossible to resist the lure of climbing out upon it. I know Robert had warned me that the tree was very dangerous, but I remember you and Robert jumping off of that tree into the river multiple times that summer when you desired to go swimming. You mentioned you have a lake. Is there a river as well? Perhaps with a tree gracefully lying across its width? I am fairly certain I could make it all the way across now, especially if I took off my shoes first._

_I’m afraid my letter is not very interesting. You are learning all sorts of new things and having adventures. While it may be the height of the Season here, I find that all the activity has ceased to hold much interest for me, and I’m sure that hearing about it at another degree removed would be the most boring thing imaginable. My friend Colette from school and her brother Sebastian are arriving this afternoon to stay with me for a while, so hopefully in my next letter I shall have jolly news and escapades with which to regale you._

_So instead of taking up your time with nonsense and gossip, I will just say that I miss you most dearly, and I feel that my heart aches in your absence. Part of me thinks that I should not share that with you, for I do not wish to in any way distract you from your work there. But I also feel that to not share with you the quiet longings of my heart would he dishonest. I read your letters over and over, the way I am sure a better girl would read her Bible, and I sleep with them under my pillow. I know you are laughing at my silliness, but I do not mind if it means I have brought a smile to your face._

_I miss you, my lord, and I look forward to seeing you again. It does not seem like it has only been two weeks since I quarreled with you, and your humble confession of affection opened my eyes to a new world of hope and possibility. Rather, it feels as if I have lived longer than Methuselah since I have seen your face, and heard your voice, and felt the warmth of your smile._

_I shall end this letter now, before I say anything else that should embarrass me even further._

_With all my affection,_

_Elizabeth_


	9. Chapter 9

_21st of June, 1880_

_My dearest Lady Elizabeth,_

_You have said that the Season has lost its interest for you. While normally I would be dismayed to hear of your displeasure, it is news well received for in the piles of invitations that I am sure arrive at your house every day, you should find one in today’s mail inviting you and Robert and your mother to come stay at Castle Howard for a country holiday. It will be a great and jolly outing and I will have the chance to show you all the things I have written about. I will tell you no more details about what I have planned because I do want to surprise you with some things, but for now you can entertain yourselves with thoughts about what mad shenanigans I am planning.  I hope you and Collette have many agreeable and amusing adventures while she is here, and I look forward to hearing about your escapades in your next letter._

_I have met with the falconer and I trust you will be delighted to hear that besides the red-tailed hawks, there are a pair of peregrine falcons and also a kestrel that he was training for the prior earl’s oldest son. You will have to take them out for a flight while you are here. The previous lady did not fly them, but I am sure I can have the appropriate glove made in your size. The hounds here are also beautiful. There are pointers and retrievers and foxhounds, and I am sure that they all take up an enormous amount of food and expense, but I could not see myself wishing to get rid of a single one. There is something about a dog that says home. They are all kept in the kennels currently, but I have a sneaking suspicion that one may make his way into the house proper before too much longer. I have not had a dog of my own since I was a small boy._

_To answer your question, there is a river, but no tree by which to cross it, and though I normally would give into the desire to indulge your whim, I do not believe I will on this occasion. I have fetched you half-drowned out of a river once in my lifetime and I am positive that was enough. There are good sturdy stone bridges that you can use, and you can peer over the edge into the deeps below as long as someone is holding onto you quite tightly to keep you from toppling over into an unwanted bath. I volunteer to perform this service if you cannot think of anyone more suitable for the task._

_As for being down to two hundred thirty-seven or whatever number it is, we are now up to two hundred thirty-eight because Hansen is now officially an employee of the Carlisle estate. The other servants that are missing are directly related to the loss of the family. I have replaced the valet, but there is no lady’s maid anymore since there is not a Countess of Carlisle currently and I am assuming that when there is she will either bring her own or prefer to hire who she would, rather than have me do that. I have no idea what makes a good lady’s maid. I believe they are supposed to be French – that is the extent of my knowledge. The other staff that was lost was the nursery staff, the governess, and the tutor. Apparently there were twelve people to care for the four children. I do not see that there will be a need to replace any of them for at least a year._

_You are welcome to sit at my desk any time you wish. I am sure your advice will be invaluable to me in those matters as it has been in others. I must warn you though, that we will have to sit very close together if we are to be looking at the same ledger at the same time. Do you think you could tolerate being in such close proximity to me for an extended period of time? We have not had much time to be together, just the two of us. I find that my desire to be with you grows as our distance has increased and the time we spend apart lengthens. I do not think that this desire will abate when we are together again, though. You have become part of my life. Everything reminds me of you, from the flowers in the garden to the biscuits at tea, to that damnable peacock that still has his life solely due to your plea for clemency. It is to the point that my cravat reminds me of you. I hope you will not let its perfection stand in the way of any urge you have to muss with it._

_There are many things that I wish to say to you, but they will wait until I can say them to you in person. Just know that you are not alone in rereading letters. Your most recent one is always in my coat pocket by day and on the other pillow in my bed while I sleep. Please do not be embarrassed to share with me the feelings of your heart. I feel honored that you would share such tender sentiments with me, and I will guard them safe the same way I would guard your person. I will never laugh at you sharing a part of your heart with me, because I know the courage that it takes to volunteer one’s most intimate thoughts with another, and courage never merits laughter. Please know that my heart aches at your absence as well. In this our hearts are together, even as our bodies are separate._

_With devotion,_

_your Carlisle_

_***_

_21st of June, 1880_

_Robert,_

_Ellie sent me your regards. I suppose I should send you mine as well, but mostly I’m writing to tell you three things. First, keep this Sebastian chap away from her. Second, I’m going to officially ask you for permission to marry Ellie when I get back to town. You will say yes, I’m sure, since you were the mastermind behind this whole scenario to begin with. Third, I’m planning a house party for the first of July to last for a week or so. You should receive an invitation for yourself, Ellie, and your mother under separate cover. I would like to formally announce my engagement to Elizabeth at a ball I have planned for the party, but if you can keep the details of everything other than the existence of a country holiday to yourself, I would appreciate it.  It is my hope to reveal as many of the details to her myself as is possible. I was going to wait until after the Season to host this party but I do not feel that patient anymore._

_Disappoint me in these things and I will tell Iphigenia Watson that you have confided in me your deepest affection for her but you are too shy to tell her yourself, so she needs to encourage your advances. You know I’ll do it._

_Looking forward to seeing you again. The stables are amazing. We’ll have to race while you’re here._

_Henry_


	10. Chapter 10

_24 th of June, 1880_

_My dearest Carlisle,_

_I let out a most unladylike shriek of joy when I read your last letter. Victoria, my lady’s maid, came rushing in, convinced that a snake had somehow made its way into the morning room, and was quite amused – though she tried not to show it – that all the kerfuffle was because of your letter. Mother will be sending along a formal acceptance of your invitation I am sure, but you don’t need that to know that I am overwhelmed with delight at the knowledge that I shall get to see you again soon. The idea of getting to see the lovely grounds and house that you have told me about is also thrilling, of course, but nothing compares to the thought of knowing that soon I shall be able to confess the tender feelings of my heart directly to your ears, and not have to entrust them to ink and paper and hope that they don’t go astray or are misunderstood. Society has paled without you, and there is a distinct deficit of dance partners who know how to waltz. Indeed, I have scarcely danced at all since you left, and when I do dance, I find myself wishing to be in your arms instead of with the gentleman who is partnering me._

_Luckily, Sebastian and Cosette have arrived just in time to rescue me in my languishing. They are both delighted with the Season, I think because of its newness to them and the way it differs from Paris which they are used to. They have both been showered with invitations to all sorts of soirees, some from people whom I have never met. Colette always was a social butterfly, and her brother seems much like her. I must admit, it has been wonderful to have something to occupy my time. With Sebastian here, we do not have to wait for Robert to escort us so we have been able to go do many things together. He is a most congenial guest, and dances attendance on our every whim. I have seen parts of London which I had never before been acquainted with and even attended a boxing match! There was a bit of a thrill to it at first, I suppose, but I must admit that it quickly lost its appeal when I realized that it was not just an act and they were actually bludgeoning each other as a source of entertainment. I asked Sebastian if we could leave, but apparently he had put money on a few of the matches so we had to wait until they were concluded so he could collect his winnings. He said I might enjoy it more if I put my own money down and offered to introduce me to his bookie (I have learned so many new words lately) but I do not think it is ladylike to gamble. Playing bridge for pin money is one thing. To put down thirty pounds on the outcome of two behemoths lumbering around a sawdust ring in a London alley is quite another._

_Speaking of gambling, I have the most shocking news for you. It seems that amid a certain set of society that the card parties which I have always enjoyed because of the chance to carry on pleasant conversation are also beset with gambling scandals. Apparently, several ladies have been using their jewelry to stake their bids at the table, and at least one lady has had to have her lord buy back her necklace from the unscrupulous gentleman holding it. I think she has since retired to the country for I have not seen her recently. I do not know how Colette and Sebastian know these things before I do, but they seem to be able to discover gossip that I have never heard. The card party we attended was an absolute rout. I did not play for actual money, which is good, because I lost horribly. Sebastian kept distracting me so I could never remember what to bid. I think Colette is a much better card player than I am. The only thing she picked up more of than points in gin rummy was admiring glances from all the men in the room. I found myself growing a little jealous, which I quickly realized was all foolishness, for the admiring glances of the only gentleman from whom I should like to receive them was not even in attendance. I will also admit right now to being slightly jealous of Hansen, for he gets to see your face every day, even many times a day, and I do not._

_I know this entire letter makes me sound like such a silly girl but I told you the first night we danced that I was a ridiculous creature who couldn’t stand the thought of drudgery and routine, and that I liked books and dancing and pretty things. Still, it would probably do me good to spend more time reading the Bible with Mother instead of poring over the pages of Godey’s Lady Book.  I know you care not a whit for fashion trends, though you did such an admirable job of pretending at the milliners, so I shall not bore you about hemlines and hats, but I will say that I have just been fitted for the most beautiful pair of gloves I have ever seen and hope they will be ready to wear at Castle Howard and leave it at that._

_The three of us went to a music hall where we heard the most amazing singer. She was Italian and sang the most pathetic love songs that were almost enough to make me weep. I think Colette actually did shed a tear, but I was able to restrain myself. We had friends over for dinner and games last night and played Blind Man’s Bluff which I found myself not enjoying. It seems an odd sort of game, to let someone grope for you blindly. I think importunate fellows might take advantage of the situation. We also played Charades, which I found much more enjoyable. Then there was a little musical programme. Colette plays the piano beautifully, much better than I do, but I think my voice is better than hers. So she played and I sang a little song. It was nothing much, especially compared to the Italian woman we had seen earlier, but everyone seemed to enjoy it. Sebastian insisted on an encore, so we did a little French song we had learned in school that no one had heard before. It brought back so many memories of school, some of them happy, and some of them very sad._

_We ride in the park every afternoon. It gets me away from Mother and her endless quest to marry me to someone proper so that she has one more connection in society. She has taken to introducing me to old men at social events like a show-horse to a prospective buyer. For all that she laments my French manners and mores, she approaches marriage more like a French woman than an English woman. I know this is partly because of her unhappiness in her marriage. She wants me to be married for as short as time as possible, but how dreary of a way to live life, to look for the least to endure rather than the most to enjoy. You will be so kind as to not remember things I recently said about love. To bring them up now that I have learned so much better from you would be most ungentlemanly._

_I do enjoy riding so much, but the park is very genteel, and I wish I could take a horse out for a real run someday. I should like to take a jump at a gallop again, and ride through the forest. It is as close to flying as possible. I should like to be able to fly, as long as I could stay close to the ground. When I even think of being high up in the air, like a falcon circling for its prey, my feet turn cold and an army of angry butterflies takes up occupation in my stomach. I think that is why I like hawking – I get to enjoy the sensation of flight with both my feet planted firmly on the ground. I did not think I was scared of anything, but I think I am scared of heights._

_I am very excited to about the coming holiday and all the jolly things I am sure you have planned for all of your guests, but mostly I am excited to see you once more. I miss you greatly and tire of letters. I wish to see your smile and hear your laugh, but I am proud of you for the dedication you have to your responsibilities. You are a good man, my lord, and I count myself the most fortunate girl in the entire world to be the recipient of even the smallest amount of your attention._

_Yours,_

_Elizabeth_

_***_

_24 th of June, 1880_

_Henry,_

_When I shoved my sister in your path, I did not think you would be such an idiot as to get in a quarrel with her and then leave London for parts north without having an agreement with the lady in place. Your lack of foresight makes me greatly doubt your suitability as a husband for her, especially now that you expect me to fend off this Sebastian fellow. I do not like him, and had to cut off a game of Blind Man’s Bluff last night (yes – I’m suffering through Blind Man’s Bluff for you; don’t ever doubt the depth of our friendship) because I felt that he was taking advantage of the situation. Get yourself down here as soon as possible before I find myself having to do something drastic._

_Susannah has been in town and I have seen both Sebastian and Collette making nice with her though she manages to avoid me as much as possible. Sebastian is the type of man we hated at school, who always seemed to discover his empty pockets when the food had already been eaten, and managed to attach himself to anyone with a beautiful sister. If we had been year mates in school I am fairly certain I would have punched him on a fortnightly basis. Ellie seems to enjoy his company for some reason and as one of my patients is currently convinced he is dying and requires my constant attention, he has been ushering both Ellie and his sister around London without my supervision. I am only one man and as an older brother hold much less sway in Ellie’s thoughts than you may suppose._

_I shall hold the fort, but you need to send reinforcements._

_Please attempt not to make a colossal blunder and throws things into a ruckus. Again._

_Robert_

_***_

_27 nd of June, 1880_

_My darlingest lady,_

_This letter should arrive shortly before I do. That’s right, I am coming to London on the thirtieth. Staying here and waiting for you and the others to arrive on the first would be the sensible thing to do, but I find that I have no desire to be sensible. My wish to see you is so strong that it has banished the few sensible thoughts I am capable of having from my head and so I shall arrive in London on the thirtieth of June and we shall all take the train to Castle Howard together the next morning._

_I have acquired tickets to the opera on the evening of June 30 th. Would you do me the honor of accompanying me? I have acquired a ticket for Robert as well so we will be appropriately chaperoned. Because of the short amount of time between when I write this letter and the day of the show, please send any regrets if necessary to my house in London. I am sorry that I was not able to acquire tickets for Colette and her brother to the opera, but you must consider them invited to Castle Howard if they are still residing with you._

_I look forward with great anticipation to seeing you in a short few days. I have missed you more with each passing hour, and am counting the minutes until we are reunited. You have derided yourself as a silly girl but you are not. You are a passionate and intelligent and spirited woman. You are the flower of every ballroom in London, and the laughter of every party. I would not trust so much in the heart of a silly girl as I trust in yours._

_Finally, this letter was delivered with a package. I saw these in the Carlisle collection, and they reminded me of your beautiful eyes. Please wear them and think of me, and consider this a promise of more to come._

_Yours in all things,_

_Carlisle_

Overjoyed with the news that she would be seeing Henry even sooner than she had previously thought, she read the letter through again to let the words sink in. Turning her attention to the parcel, Elizabeth undid the wrappings on the package and found a small, elaborately carved wooden box depicting a beautiful tree overlooking a meadow of flowers. When she opened the box, she gasped. Lying on the black velvet cloth inside were a pair of sapphire earrings. A perfectly cut circular stone capped each post, and from it dangled a large teardrop sapphire set in an ornately engraved gold setting. She carefully picked them up, afraid they might disappear as if in a dream if she breathed on them wrong. They were the most beautiful thing she had ever touched.

She knew _exactly_ what she would be wearing to the opera.

_27 nd of June, 1880_

_Standford,_

_He took her to a boxing match, Robert. A back-alley boxing match. If you tell me that he touched her playing Blind Man’s Bluff, I shall invite him to a boxing match of my very own._

_Carlisle_


	11. Chapter 11

Elizabeth hurried into the parlor where she knew her brother would be impatiently waiting for her. “I’m sorry I’m late. My hair is being particularly uncooperative this evening just when it is the most important that it look its best. I think Victoria was ready to stab _me_ with the hair pins by the time we finally settled on a style.” She fiddled with the gem studded hair pins that held her curls in place, tucking them further into her hair.

“I think your hair looks lovely.” The unexpected voice was tinged with amusement.

Her breath caught as she whirled in the direction of the sound. Henry stood by one of the large wing-backed chairs. Her brother stood in front of the other one as they both had arisen upon her entrance. “Lord Carlisle,” she stammered, “I’m…I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were already here. I apologize for my lateness and manner.”

He stepped towards her. “It is never a burden to wait for someone as beautiful as you.” He took her hand and bent over it, and then daringly turned her hand over and brushed his lips against the delicate skin of her inner wrist. Elizabeth’s cheeks flamed red, causing him to smile. “And besides,” he turned and invited Robert into the conversation, “I’ve been having an enjoyable time telling your brother about all the things I have planned for our next few weeks.”

Elizabeth felt completely discombobulated. Her heart raced, and she could hear her blood pounding in her ears. The kiss on her wrist seemed to have sent little spikes of fire racing through her body. She couldn’t follow the conversation, and instead busied herself in putting on her gloves.  These were the gloves she had specially ordered and they had just arrived that afternoon. The white kidskin gloves went up slightly past her elbows, and were fastened with a row of small pearls that extended from her upper arm down to the wrist. They were embroidered with blue flowers from the hand all the way up to the arm, making them a perfect match for her gown. The dark blue silk of her bodice was adorned with delicate floral embroidery that trimmed the neckline and short sleeves.  The embroidery repeated in a larger motif along her tightly corseted waist and the elaborately ruched bustle and train of the skirt. The sapphire earrings hung from her earlobes, and her slender neck was adorned with a sapphire necklace that belonged to her mother.

Carlisle thought that she was the most gorgeous creature he had ever seen. He couldn’t help the huge smile on his face as he watched her from the corner of his eye. Once he could tell she had regained her composure and fastened the last pearl on her gloves, a procedure he very much looked forward to reversing at some point in the future, he turned to her. “Shall we be off?”

She nodded and accepted his proffered arm. Carlisle helped her into the carriage and then seated himself next to her. Robert sat on the bench across from them. Her brother and Carlisle chatted easily as on the ride to the opera house, while Elizabeth silently fidgeted with her shawl. Playing with its fringe was the only thing that was keeping Ellie from having an attack of the vapors. She wasn’t used to sitting so close to a man that was not family. She was intensely aware of the heat of his body next to her and the slight pressure of his leg against her skirt. She also was quite taken aback by the strength of her desire to slip her hand into his.

Elizabeth was so quiet that Carlisle feared he had done something wrong, but he hoped it was just nervousness on her part. The thought of having her change her mind about him was beyond even considering.

They arrived at the theater and joined the mass of carriages and humanity’s better dressed portion in jockeying for position. When they finally disembarked, Elizabeth took Carlisle’s proffered arm and they ascended the stairs into the theatre. As they mingled in the ornate lobby greeting acquaintances, Robert dismissed himself to talk to someone on the other side of the room, leaving Elizabeth and Carlisle alone for the first time that evening.

“Lady Elizabeth, you are very quiet this evening. Have I done something to offend you?”

Elizabeth shook her head. “Oh no, you have been perfect. It is just…” her voice trailed off.

Carlisle looked at her expectantly, an eyebrow raised in question. “Yes?” A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

She shyly looked up at him, her eyelashes hiding most of her eyes from him. “I think that after the last month, I am more comfortable writing to you than talking to you.”

Carlisle smiled reassuringly. “I am sure that you will soon regain the use of your mouth. Let me take this moment to say that I think you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.”

Lady Elizabeth blushed prettily. “You are too kind, Lord Carlisle.”

“I notice you are wearing the earrings I sent.” He touched one, letting his fingers graze lightly against her neck.

She gasped softly at the daring touch and she lifted her eyes to fully meet his. “How could I not? I value them more than their worth in gold because they are a gift from you.”

He looked into her eyes, a smile spreading slowly across his face. “Any gift would be unworthy of you.”

Their gazes locked for a long moment, both of them recognizing anew the depth of their feelings for each other. Letters were one thing, but standing in front of each other, close enough that she noticed the patch of brown in the blue of his eyes and he was transfixed by the perfect bow of her lip, their emotions took on a new and tender reality. She wanted to touch the indentation in his chin but feared that would be scandalously inappropriate. Robert rejoined them, unnoticed  by either of them until he slapped Carlisle on the back. “Shall we go to our seats, Henry?” Carlisle and Elizabeth were jolted from their own little world and the noise of the crowd assaulted their ears. Carlisle nodded, and Elizabeth slipped her hand through his arm. He placed his hand over it.

As they finished crossing the lobby, Elizabeth was greeted by several men of varying ages. She nodded and smiled and exchanged pleasantries and Henry was surprised at the level of possessiveness he felt. He greeted the men coolly but politely. The young – and not so young – women who had beset him at many an event earlier in the season did not seem to be attendance this evening. Perhaps Elizabeth sent out a better ‘mine’ signal than he did.

One young lady did approach but it was to talk to Elizabeth. “Ellie,” she cried out, “you look so beautiful.”

Elizabeth smiled politely at the pretty blonde. “Sophronia, it’s so good to see you. May I introduce you to my brother, Lord Standford, and his good friend Lord Carlisle? This is Sophronia Beckshire from Darbyshire. Her father owns property there.”

They exchanged bows and curtsies and Elizabeth wondered how Sophronia managed to make a simple curtsey look like a declaration of war. Sophronia smiled, and said, “Well, Ellie, you definitely have not given up your habit of attaching yourself to the most handsome men in the room.” She turned to Lord Carlisle. “Ellie was famous in school for always having a string of beaux who would send her gifts at school. All the local boys were smitten with her. Luckily for us girls, she was generous with her leftovers. Once she was done with her current favorite, she wasn’t at all possessive. She would encourage them in our direction. Such charity for those who were less fortunate.” Her voice was sweetly venomous.

Lord Carlisle felt Elizabeth stiffen in outrage on his arm. He squeezed her hand reassuringly. “I have always found Lady Elizabeth to be a model of generosity.” He smiled at Miss Beckshire politely.

Sophronia looked slightly surprised by the smooth rebuff, but continued on. “What lovely earrings you have on this evening. I don’t remember ever seeing them before. Are those new?”

“I actually believe they are old, but they are new to me.” She smiled enigmatically.

Sophronia nodded knowingly. “Oh, I see. Don’t want to discuss a gift from one beau in front of another. I understand.”

 “Actually, they were a gift from me. They are a part of the Carlisle family collection.” Carlisle’s voice was scrupulously bland.

“Well.” She sniffed. “They look lovely on you, Ellie. We should get together some time and catch up. I need to go find my mother.” She curtsied to the gentlemen and then flounced off.

Robert looked at Elizabeth. “What was that all about?” he asked, with barely confined laughter. Elizabeth snorted. “We were at school together. She was a year ahead of me, and she got caught cheating. She thought I turned her in, and decided that she was going to make me miserable. I guess it didn’t end with school.”

“I just had the most wonderful idea,” Carlisle said. “We should invite her to join us at Castle Howard.” Elizabeth’s head whipped in his direction, shock written large on her expressive features, before she saw the twinkle in his eye. He laughed, and then said, “Come, let’s go find our seats.”

He led them to their box and seated Elizabeth where she would have the best view of both the stage and the other attendees and then claimed the seat next to her; Robert seated himself in the row behind them. The other chair in the box went unclaimed. As the lights lowered and the orchestra started playing, Carlisle took Elizabeth’s hand in his and held it throughout the performance. He didn’t try to stroke or tease it. They just took the opportunity to touch and be held for more than a few stolen moments.

As they made their way to the carriage after the performance, Elizabeth was breathless, both from the beauty of the music and from the lingering feel of Carlisle’s hand in hers. Just before he handed her into the carriage, he whispered in her ear, “I am not ready to give you up yet.” He called an address she didn’t recognize to the coach driver and climbed into the carriage with her and Robert.

“Where are we going?” She asked curiously.

“You’ll see, it’s a surprise.”

She pouted adorably at him. “Oh, please, tell me.”

He tapped her on her nose. “No.”

“Amazing,” Robert chuckled and settled back in his seat. “Someone who can actually tell her no. This should be interesting to watch.”

Elizabeth stuck her tongue out at Robert. “People tell me no all the time,” she claimed, her chin high in the air.

“Give me an example.”

“Well…” her voice trailed off. After a minute, she softly said, “I am terribly spoiled, aren’t I?”

Robert’s mood softened. “Not spoiled, just petted and adored. I can’t remember the last time you actually threw a fit when you didn’t get your way.”

Elizabeth looked at Carlisle, remembering the night in the garden she had so harshly rebuked him. “I can. I am such a foolish girl.”

Carlisle knew exactly what she was remembering and gently touched her hand. “You are a spirited and beloved woman. I would have you no other way.” Again, the world went away as they looked at each other. There were so many things they wanted to say to each other, but just lacked a moment’s privacy to speak.

The carriage rolled to a stop before Elizabeth could muster an appropriate response, and they exited in front of a grand London house. Carlisle led them up the stairs where the open doors let music, guests, and light spill out into the evening. He flashed an invitation to the man at the door and they were quickly relieved of their outerwear. Carlisle continued leading them until they were in the ballroom. He turned to her, said, “Don’t go anywhere,” and headed off into the crowd.

“Do you know whose house we are at?” she asked Robert.

“Not the faintest idea,” he responded, bemused by this new commanding aspect of Carlisle’s personality.

A few minutes later, as Carlisle made his way back to where Robert and Elizabeth stood, he discovered that she had already gathered a crowd of admirers. Her back was to him, and he walked up behind her as the music stopped. “May I have this dance?” He didn’t wait for her answer, but swept her around into his arms and twirled her out onto the dance floor as the musicians started up a waltz. “I believe you complained about a lack of waltz partners in the last month. Let me remedy that.” Elizabeth laughed delightedly and relaxed into his arms. This right here was a perfect moment, he thought, and it was only enhanced when he noticed the frustrated and angry looks on the faces of the men that had been surrounding her.

They found they didn’t need to talk after all; it was enough simply to be together, and to feel each other through kidskin and silk. They didn’t take their eyes off of each other, memorizing the smallest detail about the other’s face so that it would be etched on the back of their eyelids and accompany them  to sleep. The crush of people created the anonymity that can only be found in the crowd letting them ignore everything else. The music segued into another waltz. “I had them play two waltzes in a row for us. We need to make up for lost time,” he explained.

One of the men that had been talking to Elizabeth earlier came up to them. “Excuse me, may I cut in?”

Carlisle replied, “No.”

Affronted, the man huffed and said, “Good sir, she promised me a dance. This is simply not done.”

Carlisle smiled at Elizabeth. “Isn’t it?” he asked andspun Elizabeth away from the intruder and continued their dance around the floor.

Elizabeth’s eyebrows rose as she looked at him with shock. “My lord, I had promised him a dance.”

Carlisle looked at her. “I don’t care. I don’t feel like sharing you after having been away for so long.”

“But I gave my word. Does that mean nothing to you?”

“Do you really want to dance with him? Or would you rather be here in my arms, the way you wrote in your letters?”

She blushed, “Of course, my lord, I prefer your company to his, but,” she began, and Carlisle interrupted.

“Then stay here with me.”

She had never heard his voice like this before. It was deep and rougher than normal, and something within her turned liquid and bubbly from the sound. It made her want to give in to his request and stay in his arms. She couldn’t though. With a little huff, she stopped dancing, and the other couples surrounding them gave them annoyed glances as they fumbled around her and Carlisle, attempting to avoid trodding on shoes or train. “I gave my word. Or does my honesty mean nothing to you? Is it just the silly whim of a child that can easily be ignored?”

“Of course not.” He took her by the elbow and escorted her off of the dance floor, away from the blatantly eavesdropping dancers, not seeing the trail of curious glances they left in their wake. “I thought you preferred my company to that of other men.” His brow wrinkled in confusion. How had what he thought was a romantic gesture gone so terribly wrong? Had he misunderstood her letters?

“I do, my lord, but that does not mean that I will ignore everyone else and just wait for your command. I am a woman, not a dog that follows after her master with no thought of her own, merely waiting for whatever affection he has for her.” She was whispering, but her hands were balled into fists at her side.

“I want the world to know how I feel about you, how we feel about each other, to make this real to everyone else the way it is to us.” The stimulating roughness of his voice had turned into pleading.

“Do you doubt the constancy of my affections, my lord?” The liquid bubbling sensation had frozen into ice.

He had never seen her like this. Fire flashed in her eyes, and the set of her jaw showed a firmness he had never noticed before. “No, it’s not that. I love you, Elizabeth.” He was emphatic in his declaration.

“Do you? The first time you confess your love for me is in a fight, trying to convince me that I am in the wrong. Those words shouldn’t be used like a bludgeon. The man that has my heart isn’t this,” she struggled to find the words to rebuke the man she thought she loved, “arrogant creature who cares more for his own pride than my reputation and integrity. You make me the subject of wagging tongues and idle gossip, my lord, and while some women would endure being handled this way in public for the chance to land an earl, I am not one of them.” She reached up and undid the earrings she was wearing. “I think I should return these, my lord. I don’t feel comfortable wearing them anymore.”

“Ellie, listen to me.”

“Please, don’t call me that. It hurts too much to hear it from you right now.” He could hear the tears she was fighting back in her voice, even though her head was ducked and he could not see them wetting her lashes. She held out her hand, but he refused to take the earrings from her so she placed them in his coat pocket and left.

He watched as she turned on her heel and proceeded through the ballroom to the gentleman he had scorned. She said something to him and smiled, and he responded with a nod. The music started for another dance and he led her on to the dance floor. Henry watched her throughout the entire dance while she studiously avoided looking in his direction. When the music ended, she curtsied politely to her partner and he escorted her back to the group she had been with earlier. She curtseyed to them, and then she made her way around the edge of the dance floor to where her brother stood, conversing with some of his friends. Carlisle followed her and arrived just in time to hear her say, “Can we go home, Robert? I find that I have developed a splitting headache.”

Robert exchanged glances with Carlisle over her head, Robert’s confused, Carlisle’s resigned, and said, “Of course. Let’s go fetch our things.”

Quickly they were heading out the door into the carriage. Elizabeth held on to Robert’s arm. He helped her into the carriage and she tugged him down next to her on the bench. It was a silent and awkward ride to the Harcourt residence. As Robert and Elizabeth disembarked, Carlisle said, “I hope you feel better in time to join us for our trip to Castle Howard tomorrow, Lady Elizabeth.”

“Of course. It would be unforgivably rude to break a social engagement at such late notice.” She didn’t look at him when she spoke and her voice was flat. She hurried into the house. Robert looked at Henry in disappointment, shook his head, and followed after her.


	12. Chapter 12

Carlisle helped guide his guests to the carriages waiting outside Castle Howard’s private train station while he kept an eye out for Elizabeth. He had seen her wan face at the station in London but as soon as he had seen her watching him, she quickly looked away. Her devoted attendance to every possible need of her lady mother on the train had kept him at bay, so it wasn’t until their arrival at the train stop for Castle Howard several hours later that he had the chance to talk to her. Of course, since he most ardently desired to speak to her, she was the last one off of the train, stepping down onto the platform while still adjusting her gloves. It proved to be a boon, however, for her mother had demanded that Robert take her immediately to a carriage and not leave her standing about on the platform like a strumpet. It fell to him, then, to assist Elizabeth. “Can I escort you to a carriage, my lady?” he asked. “I believe your brother has taken your mother and Lady Granger to another carriage already.”

“That would be appreciated, my lord,” she answered, not quite meeting his eyes. “I am not used to having a private train station at my disposal and find myself a little bewildered.”  She gingerly took his arm, barely resting her fingertips on his forearm.

“Have you recovered from your headache?”

“Not fully. I was awake most of the night. I am afraid that I am very dull company today,” Elizabeth responded quietly.

“I do not think you could ever be dull company, my lady.” He helped her into the last waiting carriage and then climbed into the seat opposite.

“You are too kind.” Elizabeth was stiffly polite. She was aware of the impropriety of riding alone with Henry in a carriage, but she couldn’t make herself be upset about the breach of etiquette the way she had the night before.  She kept her eyes fixed out the window, admiring the rolling meadows and forests. “All of this is your land?” He had told her the size of the estate, but seeing the fields fading to the horizon and a flock of sheep being herded along the road was quite a different reality than just imagining a non-descript piece of land.

“Yes. Though I’m afraid I don’t know all of it well yet. I’m half afraid to go out walking for fear I shall have to ask directions home.” He smiled at her in an attempt to lighten her mood.

She smiled slightly. “You could leave a trail of bread crumbs behind you, like in the tale, to follow home.”

“Ah, but I’m afraid the birds would eat them, just like in the story.”

The conversation faltered and died.

Taking a deep breath, Henry decided to jump into the fray. “Elizabeth, I must apologize for my behavior last night. I don’t know when I will get another chance to be alone with you and I can’t bear to see you so down-spirited because of something I did.”

“My lord, please do not worry yourself on my account. It is just a headache. It shall pass.” She went back to observing the view to avoid having to look at him.

“Elizabeth, I know you better than that.”

Her head snapped around. “Do you, sir? Do you know the inside of my body better than I do? What brings me pain and what brings me pleasure?” Her spine was rigid, her eyes sparking with fire like they had the night before.

“Elizabeth, I know you.” His words were quiet and carefully chosen. “And last night, I did something you cannot stand. I embarrassed you in front of your friends and in front of society. I behaved poorly which made me look bad, and for that I am sorry, and because of your association with me it made you look bad in extension, and for that I am even sorrier. In your few months in London you have become the darling of the ton, and it is a position you enjoy. You like to be liked, and I gave people a reason to dislike you.”

“And is there anything wrong with that? With liking people to like me?” she asked, piqued at his insight and what she perceived as his judgment of her shallowness of character.

“Not in and of itself,” he answered. “If you were to start robbing banks to bribe people to be your friends, then there would be a problem,” the familiar laughter bubbled in his voice, “but wanting to be liked is not a crime. Or even a sin.”

“Yes, well then. You obviously need to work on your manners,” she retorted and went back to looking out the window.

Silence hung heavy in the carriage between them, marred only by the sound of the horses’ hooves and the wheels on the road. Even in a fit of temper she was still lovely, and he watched the silhouette of her face against the window with a measure of delight. “If you look out the other side of the carriage, you should be able to see the residence as we go around this corner.”

The carriage cleared a bend in the road that let them out beyond a stand of trees, and Elizabeth gasped as Castle Howard came into view. “Oh, Henry, it’s beautiful!” The stately baroque edifice stretched out its wings in both directions and was graced with a crowning cupola. The immense stone structure was still quite a ways up the road behind a gate with a pyramid atop it, but it sat gracefully at the top of a gentle slope of meadow with a beautiful lake at the bottom. “I’m sorry, I mean Lord Carlisle, of course,” she corrected herself.

“Please call me Henry. You have that right of me.” Her eyes met his and saw the sincere regret he had for the pain he had caused her. She tried to smile but failed. Instead, her eyes welled with tears, and as the first one spilled over onto her cheek, Henry quickly moved to sit next to her and wrapped her in his arms. She hid her face against his shoulder and began to cry quietly but intensely, her shoulders shaking while she sobbed. He had no idea what had caused the sudden onslaught, but just held her, whispering soothing noises and slowly stroking her back through the soft wool of her travelling coat. After a minute, she sat back and Henry reluctantly released her. He pulled out his handkerchief and wordlessly offered it to her.

She smiled shakily and looked away from him while she used it to dry her tears. When she felt more in control of herself she turned back to him only to see that she had marked his jacket with her tears. “Oh, my lord, I have ruined your coat!” She brushed at the tear marks ineffectually, but he grabbed her hand and held it.

“I don’t give a tinker’s damn about this coat as long as I know you are well. Please, tell me why you are crying, Elizabeth.”

At that moment the carriage came to a halt and the noise of the party piling out of their carriages and many servants unloading luggage greeted their ears.

“Don’t worry about me; I’m just a silly girl.” She answered him with false cheer in her voice. He shook his head. “I know you, Elizabeth. Something more than just our quarrel has upset you but I’ll let it go for this moment. Come; let us go join our guests.” She pretended to not notice that he had called them ‘our’ guests and let him help her out of the carriage. As she stepped down, she gazed up at the many-storeyed building that loomed in front of her. It was not a true castle in the military sense, but in every other sense of the word, the building was as majestic as could be imagined, managing to be as impressive as it was beautiful, and left her overwhelmed. Her fingers still rested on Henry’s outstretched hand, all forgotten in her awe of the place he called home.

 “It is quite impressive, my lord. I understand now why it took you some time to feel acclimated.”

“You will get used to it, too. I am sure you will feel quite at home by the end of our little party.”

She felt Henry watching her but couldn’t make herself look at him. Her nerves jangled like the music produced by children pounding on a piano. “I don’t know if it is possible to feel at home in a place like this, my lord.”

He stepped in front of her, shielding her somewhat from the immensity of the castle. “Never in my life have I hoped so desperately for you to be wrong.” She was mesmerized by the stark honesty in his voice. Her eyes were caught and held by his and the weight of the unspoken promises that they contained. Standing there, with the castle he called home behind him, she was struck by the similarity between the two of them. Castle Howard was strong, solid, permanent, imposing, and yet for all its handsome dignity, it was still just a house. It was what was inside that made something home. She knew that while Henry possessed a handsome face, broad shoulders, and charming manners, it was the love he had for her, the love she could see in his eyes and hear in his words that made her realize she had found her heart’s home.

She leaned in towards him, mirroring his own motion towards her. Her eyes dropped to his lips as her own parted the barest amount in breathless expectation. She hesitated as she looked back up to his eyes and saw the barely restrained intensity in them, but then her eyes fell back to his lips and the soft curve of his mouth and she moved forward again the slightest degree as he continued to come closer. The spell shattered as Carlisle’s name was called, and the air rushed into her lungs as she stepped back from the raw energy of his presence.

A muscle in his jaw spasmed as he bit down in frustration.  “Please excuse me, madam. I must see to our guests.” He bowed to her and she dropped a breathless curtsey.

Her head spun with new sensations as she crossed the gravel drive away from the house to the edge of the enormous formal garden that stretched out across the lawn. She lifted her hand to her burning cheek and was surprised to find that she still held his handkerchief. Her thumb rubbed over the embroidered monogram in the corner and she wondered who placed his mark on his linens for him with no mother or wife to care for such little niceties. Was that something a valet would do? She tucked it into her reticule with a small smile, confident that he wouldn’t mind if she kept it.

The gardens gave her an excuse to stand away from the others long enough to regain her composure and longer feel as if candles could be lit by holding them to her cheeks. She was about to return and join the guests when she heard his voice.

“If you’re looking for the peacock, he’s usually on the north lawn.”

She could feel him right behind her and the press of his leg against her skirt. She knew if she turned he would be close enough to kiss, and the nervous flickers of something unnamable deep in her belly that came to life only when he was close urged her to turn around and let him kiss her. Her cheeks flamed again, scandalized by her unladylike desire to know if his lips were as soft as they looked. Instead she said, “I was just wishing that I had brought my paints or even a sketchbook and pencil. It is truly beautiful here.”

“I didn’t know you were an artist.”

She laughed. “I’m not. I merely dabble.” She turned her head to look at him and those nervous flickers surged to life once more at the look in his eyes.  They skimmed over her face like a gentle touch. “Please say,” he started when her mother called to her.

“Elizabeth, come here child. There will be time to look at the gardens later.”

Ellie’s eyes closed to mask the irritation she felt. She understood why her mother had to be invited, but  _why?_ Refusing to stomp her foot like a child denied an extra biscuit at tea, she plastered on her most demure smile, curtseyed and said, “Please forgive me, my lord. I must attend to my mother.” As she crossed the gravel to where her mother stood, she saw Robert shoot a questioning look behind her. She turned and saw Henry shake his head once, and turned back to see Robert make a choking gesture with his hands.  _What in the world are those boys up to?_

She followed her mother inside and stopped, awe-struck, as she crossed the threshold. The ornately columned walls flanked elaborate frescoes, and the large foyer was open to the cupola. She proceeded forward until she was standing directly under the dome and stared in wonder at the artwork adorning its ceiling, illuminated by the light flooding through the surrounding windows.

“Elizabeth, stop gawking. You act like you’ve never seen a painting before.”

She bit back the urge to correct her mother about the difference between a painting and a fresco and followed her mother up the stairs as a servant showed them to their rooms. Silently grateful that she would not be sharing a room with her mother, she was even more thankful when she found that they were at opposite ends of the women’s hallway. When she entered the room that would be hers during her stay, she smiled to find that her maid was already there. Veronica helped her out of her heavy travelling suit and went back to putting away all of her clothes in the wardrobe as Ellie spun about the room and then dropped down on the big bed, falling back onto the soft linens with a laugh. The velvet canopy overhead was the color of honey, the perfect color to accompany her sweet thoughts. She had been nervous about seeing Henry again after the events of the night before. Now her thoughts roamed over their minutes together and the way he had held her in the carriage while she cried. She couldn’t help but remember how firm and solid he had felt against her while simultaneously being gentle in his embrace. It didn’t seem possible for one person to be both things at the same time. And then his eyes, and the way he looked at her and the ache that had bloomed in her heart when she had walked away from him. She sighed like a heartbroken actress on the stage. Remembering his handkerchief, she took it from her reticule and smelled it. There was the faintest whiff of his cologne, and she held it to her face and breathed deeply. She traced his monogram with her fingertip, drifting joyfully into daydreams that she had been the one to set those stitches in the linen.

She was deep in thought when there was a knock at the door. Veronica answered it and she heard an unfamiliar voice say, “For the lady.”

Veronica handed her the bumpy envelope that had just been delivered. Wondering who would be sending her mail here and so soon after arriving, she undid the seal and opened it to find the sapphire earrings she had rejected the night before with a short note.

_Elizabeth,_

_You left these in my keeping last night. I’m returning them now to their rightful owner. I will not rest until you feel comfortable wearing them again. I know that I hurt you in my exuberance, but I meant you no disrespect._

_Please forgive me._

_your Henry_

She handed the earrings to Veronica to put with the rest of her jewelry and then reread the note, stroking the words ‘your Henry’ with her finger. There had to be some way to find a moment alone with him in a house this size. There just had to be.


	13. Chapter 13

Elizabeth had grown increasingly frustrated throughout the day. Her plans for finding a quiet moment alone with Henry had so far come to naught. It wasn’t his fault, of course. She had dressed for tea with special care, making sure her hair was perfectly coifed and choosing a dress that made her waist look particularly small. She was perfectly aware that the blue shade of her afternoon gown made her eyes appear even larger than usual. When she was shown into the parlor by a butler, Henry had already been surrounded by other guests, mostly women she noted with a pang of irritation, and no hope remained of any time alone with him amongst the gossipy chatter amongst old friends and new introductions. Counting Henry there were twenty-two in the party, most of them young like Robert and herself. Her mother was the oldest woman there by several years of age, judging by the looks of it. He stopped by her table to insist she try a piece of the sponge cake, but other than that, he floated between groups like a perfect and genial host. Robert was cheerfully conversing with a group of men over in the corner, all of whom appeared to be about his age. At one point they all broke out in a cheer, and Henry called back the final line from across the room. This was instantly greeted with peals of laughter and a demand for a rematch, and everyone was swept outside and a footman was sent for six loaves of hard round bread.

Elizabeth was not so single-minded in her desire to have Henry alone that she could not find the amusement in watching six grown men, all chums from school it turned out, attempt to bowl bread across the lawn for distance and for accuracy. Robert ended up defending his title as champion bread bowler by landing his by now somewhat bedraggled looking loaf right on Bainsbury’s jacket which had been pressed into being the target for the final round.

After such excitement, Elizabeth’s mother asked to be helped back to her room so she could rest before dressing for dinner. By the time Elizabeth returned to the gathering outside, the men had all departed for the stables amidst talk of laying out an improvised steeplechase course across the grounds for later in the week. This left Elizabeth to the company of the ladies, and she joined Miss Anne Cheslingham and Lady Serafina Jadington on a walk through the azalea wood. The wild forest was lovely, graced with the bright blooms of flowers and birdsongs whistled from tree to tree. The company of the two delightful young women was also enjoyable. They were younger sisters of some of Henry’s friends as well. Elizabeth found them both to be quite intelligent and witty and the only thing that might have made her adore them more was if they had been slightly less beautiful than they were. Anne had the most flawless creamy complexion and Serafina was possessed of lovely thick blonde hair that waved attractively away from a high elegant brow. They left her feeling rather sallow and common.

Dressing for dinner came next, and while Henry did escort her in to the dining room and seated her at his side, there still was no occasion for anything resembling privacy. The food was delicious and the service impeccable, but eavesdropping was as common as silk dresses and egregiously tied cravats. Henry really should loan Hansen out to teach the other valets the art of tying a tasteful neck cloth.

After dinner the ladies withdrew while the men had their port and cigars and then everyone played cards until well after midnight. Henry was a perfect host, jovial and generous, and there was food and wine and laughter aplenty. She would catch him looking at her and would smile, and he would smile in return, but there were always people surrounding one or both of them. Her interest in Henry made her a horrible card player because she could never keep track of bids or trumps. Finally, she gave up trying to outlast everyone and took her leave of the card room. Her hope that he would follow her and they would have a chance to talk in the foyer before she went up the stairs proved in vain as one of the other girls, a Miss Katherine Brown that she had met over cards, took her arm and announced she was going to retire as well.

Katherine tucked her arm through Elizabeth’s as they went up the stairs. “So, how do you know Lord Carlisle?”

“He is friends with my brother, Lord Standford. How do you know him?”

“Henry’s brother George is my cousin’s husband. If I was George, I’d be shoving Henry out a third story window tonight.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened at the woman’s familiar tone and the shocking things she was saying.

“I bet Susannah is wishing she had told Henry yes right about now,” Katherine continued, oblivious to Ellie’s discomfort.

“Susannah?”

“The girl Henry was in love with last year. Or was it the year before that?” Katherine looked at Ellie in surprise. “Surely you know about her? He asked her to marry him and she turned him down. She ended up married to someone. I can’t even remember who, he was so unimportant.”

“I have never heard mention of her. But then, I have been on the Continent for so long that I am sure there are many stories that did not merit a letter.”

“Well, it looks like he’s finally over her. I don’t remember him being this happy since she refused him. I know George was very worried about him for a long time. Henry locked himself away and ignored everyone for quite a while. And then, of course, there were whispers he had an affair with the wife of one of his masters from school, though I don’t give such gossip much credence, do you?”

“I have never heard such nonsense in my life.” Elizabeth was indignant. How dare this woman speak such things about her host? Especially a woman so vulgar as to not dress properly for dinner? Her dress was fine enough, but her gloves had been cut for another woman’s hands and she wasn’t wearing a single piece of jewelry.

“Affairs or no, it would be worth it to be mistress of this place.” She patted one of the statues lining the hallway on the top of his head. “Though between the paintings and the marble, it would be like being spied upon all the time, don’t you think?”

“You seem to have very definite aspirations, Miss Brown.”

The woman seemed to think that Ellie’s words were amusing rather than censorious. “Every single woman here has those aspirations. Why else do you think Henry invited so many of them? I believe he means to find himself a wife and we are all here for him to look over like so many of his beloved horses. Even you, for all your lovely manners. You’d show him your teeth if he asked.”

Elizabeth didn’t even know how to respond. She had felt certain in Henry’s affections for her, but she couldn’t help but wonder if all these other women were here as Henry checking the alternatives one last time before settling down. There were very many single women here, most of them sisters of his friends just as she was, and many of them were just as beautiful and accomplished as she was. Even more so in some instances, if she was scrupulously honest with herself, something she tried to avoid doing on a regular basis. She had never heard of this Susannah before. Were there other women to whom he had given his heart? Luckily, they arrived at Katherine’s door before she could bestow any more gossip and Elizabeth bid her farewell.

Elizabeth closed her bedroom door with a relieved sigh. She could still feel Katherine’s words plucking at her nerves like birds wrangling a worm from the ground. Luckily, Victoria was already there waiting for her, and the familiar routine of readying herself to sleep helped settle her nerves. She reread the note she had gotten that afternoon, dwelling again on the words ‘your Henry’ and added it to the ribbon-tied stack of his other letters and slipped them under her pillow. She had read them through so many times they were practically memorized, and he had never signed any of them before with his Christian name. The thought helped her drift peacefully off to sleep.

She woke late the next morning. They weren’t quite keeping London hours here, but almost. She rang for Victoria and thought about the day before her. She didn’t know what Henry had planned, but surely he wanted a few minutes alone with her as much as she wanted a private moment with him. She hoped he was selfish enough to plan for his wishes as well as for the comfort and enjoyment of his guests.

Victoria knocked and entered the room. “Good morning, Lady Elizabeth.”

She was almost ready to go down to breakfast when another knock was heard at the door. A footman was there with a large box. “I was asked to bring this up for Lady Elizabeth Harcourt.” Victoria directed him to leave the box on a small table under one of the windows.

Elizabeth went to look at the crate. On top of it was a small envelope. She took out the enclosed piece of paper and read, in Henry’s now familiar writing, the words, “Your wish is my command.”

Wondering what he was up to now, she took the lid off of the box. Tucked inside she found a French easel with interchangeable drawers – one stocked with  oil paints and another with watercolors – a leather bound sketch book, graphite pencils, charcoals, a sheaf of watercolor paper, three stretched canvases, and paintbrushes in every shape and size she could imagine. She trailed her fingers over the bristles in wonder and looked at her maid. “It’s like someone robbed an artist’s studio and sent me the contents.”

It took considerably longer than normal for her to finish getting ready as she found herself continually going back to the box and playing with the varied items. At one point, she set up the French easel and admired the cunning arrangement, demanding that Victoria admire all of its details as well. Victoria followed her around with the hairbrush and pins and finished her lady’s hair the best she could under the circumstances. Finally, Victoria speared one last curl into place and shooed her out the door. She met Robert on the staircase as he also was going to breakfast. “Have you seen Henry this morning?” she asked.

“No, why?”

She sighed in disappointment. “I wanted to talk to him and it almost impossible to find a moment alone with this many people about.”

“You’re not supposed to be alone with a man, Ellie.”

She huffed in irritation. “I don’t need to be  _alone_  with him; I just need to be able to talk to him without everyone else listening.”

Robert chuckled. “I was just teasing you. I’m not completely blind, you know.” He beckoned to a passing footman. “Excuse me; do you happen to know where Lord Carlisle is at the moment?”

“I believe he is in his study, sir.”

“Very good. Thank you.” He took Ellie by the elbow. “Come with me.”

“You know where his study is?” Ellie was surprised by this. How had Robert gotten a tour already and she been left behind?

“Henry and I chatted there last night.”

Robert escorted her into a section of the house with which she was unacquainted and knocked on a heavy wooden door. There was a call to enter. Henry looked up as Robert opened the door and immediately stood when he saw who it was.

“Robert, Elizabeth. You’re both well this morning, I hope.”

“Five minutes.”

Henry and Ellie both looked at Robert in confusion. “What?”

“See those doors over there?” He pointed at the French doors that lead out onto a veranda. “I’m going to go open those doors and step just outside them for five minutes.” He pulled out his pocket watch and gestured at Henry with it. “Five minutes.” And with that, he was gone.

Ellie felt rooted to the ground by the suddenness of the moment. She knew that there were words, rivers and torrents and oceans of words that she had wanted to say just an instant before, but now, watching Henry cross the room to her she felt struck dumb.

“How are you enjoying your visit here, Elizabeth?” He was standing so close to her that she had to look up to meet his eyes.

“Very much. It is lovely here. I look forward to seeing more of the house and grounds.”

He smiled. “I would be glad to give you a tour. Is there anything in particular you want to see first?”

“Right now I just wanted to see you. I wanted to thank you for your lovely gift. It was too generous, Lord Carlisle.”

He arched an eyebrow at her and his familiar teasing smile appeared. “What have I told you about calling me that?”

“It was too generous, Henry.” His name melted on her tongue like fine chocolate.

“Nothing I could give you would be too generous.”

She felt ill prepared for this moment, for the way that the quiet intensity of his voice stirred the tiny hairs on the back of her neck and for the nervous tickle of sparks erupting in her stomach. “You have given me so much already.” She needed to look away from him, to break the spell with which he had bewitched her body. She managed to look far enough from his eyes to focus on the folds of his cravat. “Thank you for returning the earrings. I will wear them on the next appropriate occasion.”

“I have planned a ball for later this week, and have invited most of the families in the county. Will you wear them then?” He touched her earlobe with one gentle fingertip.

That simple contact re-established his hold on her and she looked up at him again. “If it is your wish, my lord, I would grant it, just as you so generously granted mine. How did you manage to get all of those wonderful supplies in such little time?”

He cocked his head to the side as she responded, watching her slowly relax with him. For all her flippant cheek and sparkling wit that made her the darling of the ton, it was this passionate, intelligent, thoughtful woman that he adored so much. He just had to keep coaxing her out of her shell and convince her it was safe with him again after their previous quarrel. “It is one of the advantages of having a superfluity of servants and my own train station. I sent a man to York yesterday. With all the rail traffic through there, it has become a major trading center. I can buy almost anything I might want there.”

“I think that I shall have to be careful about what I wish for around you.” She tried to make her voice light and teasing, but did not think she had been very successful.

“Please don’t, Elizabeth. I want to spend my life making your wishes come true.”

She did not think she had ever felt before the way she did right then. Unlike the brooding Mr. Darcy that she had always held up as a romantic paragon, Henry always appeared cheerful and happy. Indeed, he could be said to resemble Bingley in that regard. But underneath, when he spoke to her like this, she felt that the intensity of his affection for her rivaled that of any novelized hero. She wondered how Elizabeth Bennet had managed to respond to Darcy at all when he had confessed that his feelings for her had not changed, for right now she did not think she could organize a coherent thought. All she could focus on was the look in Henry’s eyes, a look that asked and answered an education’s worth of questions.

“Would it be too scandalous to wish for you to kiss me?” Her words were barely a whisper and she saw his pupils flare in response to her request. He stepped towards her and that simple movement scorched itself into her memory so strongly that she knew it was indelibly inked on her heart. The perfectly tied cravat tucked into a patterned waistcoat of burgundy and indigo, the flowing white sleeves of his shirt, the indentation of his chin, the slight asymmetry to his bottom lip and how his tongue darted out to moisten it. But then he touched her and it was as if her vision abandoned her to her other senses.

The sensation of his smooth fingers sliding against her jaw caused her breath to catch in her throat, and then all she could feel was the gentle pressure he exerted to tilt her face slightly to the side as he lowered his lips to hers. There was a slight pause, a hesitation before the final movement, as if he, too, was memorizing every curl of her hair and the tiny scar on her forehead and the glint of the gold hoops in her ears. The first touch of his lips against her mouth caused her breath to stop and her hands to tremble and all she could hear was the rapid pounding of her heart and then his lips moved ever so slightly and she lost awareness of anything but his touch. His fingers were firm and steady against her face as he held her, kissing her tenderly and repeatedly. She found herself all unawares holding onto the lapels of his waistcoat, drawn to the warmth of his body like a moth to a flame.

He held back, not wanting to overwhelm her in her innocence, but also savoring the feel of her full lips under his and her first hesitant responses, so that he was not just kissing her, but she was kissing him in return. He could feel the heat rising in her cheeks and knew without having to open his eyes that they were flushing the lovely shade of pink that he had come to associate irrevocably with her.

The familiar scent of his cologne was layered with a whiff of paper and ink and she thought she could taste the faintest ghost of his morning cup of tea when she heard her brother cough politely and say, “It’s been five minutes.”

She jerked back from Henry, jolted into the cold reality of a summer morning by her brother stepping into the room once more. Henry reluctantly withdrew his hand from her face with a long lingering caress of his fingers against her jaw. Ellie knew there was no way to hide what they had been up to, not if the look on her face resembled anything close to the expression Henry bore on his. She fought to compose herself, to smooth the shattered tempo of her breathing and cease the trembling in her hands and couldn’t look at either man as she knotted and unknotted her fingers.

“Shall I escort you to breakfast, sister?”

“Yes, thank you.” Her eyes were fixed on the ornate patterns woven into the rug under her feet.

“I shall join you shortly, Lady Elizabeth.” His voice pulled her eyes back to his face. She did not know what she had expected to see, but the faint hint of a smile and the slightest rise of one eyebrow silently asked her if she were well, and she nodded.

“I look forward to enjoying your company again, Lord Carlisle.” She hesitantly reached towards him, and then, as if making up her mind, quickly smoothed the crumpled lapels of his waistcoat with both of her hands, restoring them somewhat to their former crispness. “You may want to ask Hansen to fetch you another waistcoat. I fear that I have rumpled this one,” she murmured.

“I shall take that under consideration.” He would not change out of this one, not with the memory of her hands clutching the fabric as he had kissed her for the first time embedded in the weave. He bowed over her hand and left a gentle kiss on top of it. “Until later, my lady.”

She curtsied, and she and Robert took their leave.

Robert looked back at Henry as he escorted his sister from the room, and Henry gave him an extravagant sweeping bow. Robert chuckled to himself and shut the door.


	14. Chapter 14

Elizabeth was lingering over tea and toast, adrift in her thoughts as the people around her chattered. She would have just left and found a quiet spot where she could sit and ponder the events of the morning if she hadn’t wanted to see Henry again. Luckily she was sitting with Robert who didn’t expect her to be much of a conversationalist, and they were seated at the far end of the table.

She was considering pouring herself another cup of tea when Henry walked in with Katherine clinging to his arm like a barnacle. Elizabeth frowned censoriously at the woman who must have employed some manner of subterfuge to  wait for Henry to walk by before coincidentally finding herself going the same way, and why don’t we just walk together, hahaha. Surprised at the acidity of her thoughts about a woman she barely knew, she schooled her features into a more placid expression, but as she looked at Henry in his slightly rumpled waistcoat she could not bring herself to have kind feelings about that woman.

The attention of many of the single women in the room perked up when Henry walked in.  The long table allowed for many gaps between the people currently eating, and several of the women inconspicuously looked around to see if moving to a different seat might improve the odds of him taking the neighboring chair.

“Robert,” she whispered, “do women look at you the same way they look at Henry?”

He looked up from the newspaper. “What way is that?”

“As if they were a hungry dog and you were a juicy beefsteak.”

He chuckled and took a drink of tea. “Why do you think I spend so much time at Standford? I only come to London for the Season because I must as a member of the House of Lords. “

“But don’t you want to marry?”

“You’re not the only one looking for a love match, sister. You are just fortunate enough that yours came with a title and a fortune of his own.”

Elizabeth thought about declaiming any knowledge of what he was talking about, but after his efforts on her behalf this morning she could not cling to a façade of innocence. “And the women here? Do any of them turn your thoughts to love?”

“I’m not going to go extricate Henry from the grasp of that vulgar Katherine woman, if that’s what you’re asking.”

She giggled. “Why brother, I am offended that you think I have anything but your happiness in mind.”

Robert laughed. “It’s about time someone has my happiness in mind. Do you know what I’ve had to do for you in the past?”

The smile fell from her face. “Yes. Yes I do.”

“Why so suddenly serious?”

“I’ve never known how to tell you this, but I know you’re the one who made Mother send me to France for school. To get me out of the house and away from Father. She never would have stood up to him like that on her own.”

“Oh, Ellie. I just meant going to those boring lectures with you.”

“No, it’s true. I know it must have been much harder on her being the only one at home with him while we were both at school. I thought for a long time that you didn’t like me because you made them send me away. If it wasn’t for your constant flow of letters I would have truly believed you hated me and you would be a perfect stranger to me now. But you always encouraged me to travel on the continent during holidays rather than come home and then Father died and you told me I should come home for Christmas. I can put two and two together and come up with the correct sum.” 

“I never hated you. I just didn’t have any way else to protect you. It’s why I started bringing Henry home with me on holidays; I knew Father wouldn’t hit me in front of a stranger. He was always very careful with appearances. But that summer, I saw Father looking at you when he thought no one was paying attention. I knew I had to get you out of there, but I was still in university. I had no way to take you with me and no money of my own to support you. So I told Mother I would tell what Father did to me and her if she didn’t send you away to school. And when that didn’t work, I told her I would tell about what he got up to in the village when he was drunk. That worked.”

Elizabeth knew nothing of this part of the story. “What did Father do in the village?”

“It’s best you don’t know, flower.”

“You haven’t called me that since I was little, since before I left for school.”

His smile was wistful. “Yes, well, I have a sneaking suspicion that you will be leaving Standford again soon, but this time for good.”

“Standford will always be my home.” She reached across the table and patted his arm.

“No, this will be your home. You have a gift, Ellie. You make a home around you wherever you go. You’ll make this your home, for you and Henry. I’m just thankful you had the good sense to lose your heart to someone who is going to keep it safe. I’m not sure I could have stood by and let you marry an idiot.”

Robert talking about her marrying Henry as a  _fait accompli_  made her nervous. Yes, he had spoken of his affection for her, even said that he loved her in a fit of desperation, and he did not seem the kind of man to kiss a proper young woman without there being an implied commitment. But he had not officially asked her yet. She had a burning desire to ask Robert if Henry had asked him for permission, but she did not think that would be proper. She was considering how much propriety mattered in the face of her curiosity when the butler approached her.

“This came for you in the post, ma’am.” He held out a silver tray with a letter on it.

“Thank you.”

She took the letter and glanced at Henry. It did not seem like he would mail her things through the post with her in the house, and he shook his head slightly. That Henry had been watching her even while he sat with the barnacle made her smile.

Henry watched her open the letter, his curiosity at who would be writing Elizabeth here slightly tinged with a nascent jealousy. The jealousy was replaced with concern as he watched the pink fade from her cheeks. She started fiddling with her necklace as she continued to read and the paper bent from the increasingly forceful grip of her hand.

She lurched to her feet and Robert, who had been reading the paper, looked up at her in concern. She tossed the letter to him like it was something foul she couldn’t wait to get rid of and left the room, walking as quickly as she could. Katherine asked him a question about the art in the dome, and he turned to her reluctantly, answering her question to the best of his abilities while also keeping an eye on Robert. His concern grew as he watched Robert’s face turn to thunder as he read through the letter. That familiar side twist of the jaw had always foretold mayhem for someone in the past.

Robert folded the letter and placed it in his coat pocket and then left the room.  Katherine noticed Carlisle’s lagging attention and tried to bring him back with a question about the gardens, and he tried to answer but everything in him was urging him to go after Elizabeth and Robert and fix whatever was upsetting her. He knew he technically did not yet have that right, but he felt like he did, and more importantly, he felt like Elizabeth would desire his assistance.

He stood and announced that the afternoon was free for people to do whatever they pleased, that the stables were open for use and the house to explore, and that they would all reconvene at three on the north lawn for a croquet tournament and tea. “There is a veritable phalanx of footmen in the foyer just waiting to assist you in whatever might be your pleasure.” Excusing himself to Miss Brown, he exited the breakfast room and found Robert in the hall, coming in his direction.

“Where would she go if she’s not in her room?”

“I don’t know yet. She’s only been here for a day. What’s in that letter that has her so upset?”

“I’ll tell you when we find her. She has a right to decide how much of this story to tell.”

Questions started racing through his brain faster than a thoroughbred’s gallop, but he knew Robert was right. Finding Elizabeth was the first concern. He went back into the breakfast room and asked Jacobsen if he had seen which direction Lady Elizabeth had gone when she left, and was informed she had turned right upon exiting the room.

Robert and Henry set off down the hall at a hurried pace. “What’s down this way?” Robert asked.

“How much will you hate me if I say I don’t know? These are the more formal spaces. I haven’t really used this wing that much.”

“God, you sound like such a toff.”

Henry snorted. “I would have beat myself up fifteen years ago.”

They threw open doors as they walked, looking inside each room for any sign of Elizabeth.  Music room. Billiards room. “Remind me to come beat you at a game later.” Another drawing room.  An enormous ballroom with a stage at one end. “Do you even know enough people to fill this?” State rooms. A sitting room.  A library. “I thought the library was by your study?” “It is.” “Then what’s this?” “Another library?” A room decorated mostly with mounted animal heads and an enormous hearth.

Elizabeth was nowhere to be found.

At the end of the gallery, Henry opened one of the ornately carved wooden doors into a huge room that resembled an art museum.  The walls displayed huge paintings and the floor was dotted with impressive sculptures. “Elizabeth, are you in here?”

“Did you know you have a museum in your house?”

Robert and Henry both sighed in relief.

“What kind of person has a museum in their house?”

“Apparently me.”

“This is a Rubens. And you have a Tintoretto in here. Actually, you have two. You have two Tintorettos in here.

They followed her voice and found her staring at a large painting.

“Are you alright, Elizabeth?” Henry asked, concerned about the detached amusement in her voice in the face of what had happened in the last few minutes.

“I have been in actual museums that don’t have collections this nice.”

“Elizabeth, can we talk about something other than the art?” Henry asked. He looked to Robert for advice but Robert just gestured for him to keep going.

“You have a very nice piano down the hall.” She didn’t look at him, instead staring transfixed at the Rubens. “Or gallery, I guess I should call it. It’s much too fancy to just be a hall. Your hall is nicer than some of the museums I’ve been in.”

“Can we talk about what was in the letter?” Henry asked again.

“You also have a room with several dead animals in it.”

He stepped between her and the painting, bending slightly so he could look her in the eyes. “Elizabeth, whatever was in that letter will not change how I feel about you and I will not let it hurt you.  I will keep you safe, I promise.”

His concerned face penetrated the panic wrapped around her like a shroud, and her breath started to come in little stuttering gasps as her chin quivered. Not caring about Robert’s reaction, he wrapped his arms around her and held her firmly against his chest.

She tentatively linked her arms around his waist as she buried her face in his coat. He closed his eyes as he held her, concentrating on the feel of her in his arms instead of worrying about what had upset her. Something had scared her, and he didn’t know what it was, but had learned over the last few days not to push her when she was upset.  She needed to feel safe and calm, so he held her and listened to her breathing slowly steady. He finally heard her say something but the words were muffled against his coat.

“What was that?”

She pulled back the slightest amount. “I don’t know how to go outside.”

“You were trying to go outside?”

She nodded. “I was trying to go to my bedchamber, but I think I turned the wrong way, and then I decided I would go outside, but all the doors just go into rooms and I didn’t want to climb out a window.” She didn’t look up at him.

He smiled in amusement. “Do you want to go outside now?”

She nodded again.

Not caring about Robert’s reaction, he took her hand in his. “Come with me.”

Her hand felt fragile in his as he led her out of the museum and back down the gallery and then into the ballroom. He could have happily walked like this forever, but he let himself be guided by her desire to be outside. “I know this isn’t the official way, but this is the quickest way.” They crossed the ballroom and exited through a pair of French doors on the other side into the garden. Robert trailed along behind them.

“Now,” he said, as he escorted her out of the courtyard and on to the grassy lawn beyond, “we just have to watch out for that pernicious peacock.”

She almost smiled. “I shall make Robert chase it away from you if it gets too close.”

Hand in hand they walked in silence for a few minutes until Henry said, “Do you want to discuss what was in the letter?” Her hand jerked in his and he tightened his grip reassuringly. “If you don’t want to, you do not need to tell me anything. The more information I have, the more I can help, though.”

“Can we go sit down?” She gestured to a grouping of lawn chairs that were close by, almost against the tree line.

“Of course.”

She reluctantly let go of his hand as she sat in the middle chair and folded her hands in her lap. “Did you read the letter, my lord?”

“No. It is yours to share as you wish.”

Robert handed it to her.

She toyed with the envelope, but did not open it. “It is from my friend Colette. You knew that she and Sebastian were staying with Robert and I and my mother in London, and were going to come here with me.”

Henry nodded. “I noticed they did not come with you, but I don’t know the reason.”

“The night before I came here, the night the three of us went to the opera together, I was upset when I got home and I could not sleep. I heard someone come into my room. I thought it was Victoria, my maid, that perhaps she had brought me tea to help calm me. But it wasn’t Victoria.”

She paused and looked at Robert beseechingly.

Robert took over relating the story. “It was Sebastian. He had entered her room with the intent of placing Elizabeth in a compromising position so that she would be forced to marry him. Colette had shared with her brother Ellie’s growing attachment to you, Henry, and he knew that he needed to act quickly before she became affianced.”

She turned to Henry, fear writ large on her face. “Robert made him leave right away, and I am still innocent, my lord, I swear.”

He touched her hand softly, where it lay on the arm of the chair. “I believe you. You don’t need to worry.” He closed his fingers over her hand as Robert continued to speak.

“Yes, luckily she was awake because she screamed enough to bring the house down as soon as she saw him. He swore to me that he was not going to harm her, merely get into her bed and have them discovered together.”

Henry was furious, but he tried to tamp down on his anger to prevent scaring Elizabeth any more than she already was. Her fingers trembled under his hand and she had lost all the color in her face.  Still, he could not keep his voice completely calm. “And did you beat him bloody?”

“No.” Robert rubbed at his neck. “But I had him thrown out of the house immediately. I had my man go through his things and pack them. He found several of my mother’s jewels and the St. Catherine’s tiara in his belongings. It seems Sebastian has fallen into a great deal of debt at the gaming tables and is in danger of losing everything. He swore Colette knew nothing of his plan, but that she stands to lose everything as well, and he fears he will not be able to provide a dowry for her.”

Elizabeth handed Henry the letter. “Colette wrote to tell me that she and her brother have taken up lodging with a Mr. and Mrs. Norris, with whom he had become fast friends during the time we were together. Colette heard Sebastian talking with Mrs. Norris about his situation, and she said that she thought she could help, and that he would have a much greater prize out of it than just a baroness.”

Henry looked dumbfounded by this revelation and Elizabeth hurried on, wanting to tell everything she knew. “She doesn’t know what the plan is, and she doesn’t understand why she was disinvited from this trip, for Robert left it to Sebastian to tell her what he had done and about the debt.  She is very confused and doesn’t know what is happening, but she wrote to warn me that something was going on, and begging forgiveness for whatever it is that she did that banished her from my friendship.”

Henry knew how much Elizabeth valued her friends and how much their suffering hurt her. Still, he was not particularly enamored of the idea of having anyone associated with Sebastian around Elizabeth. “Do you trust Colette?”

“I don’t know, my lord. I was surprised to receive a letter from her reminding me of my invitation to come visit London because I didn’t think we were particularly close friends at school and I hadn’t heard from her in almost two years. I do not like to think ill of anyone, but I am forced to consider the idea that it was not my friendship that motivated her visit.”

“Do you feel that we should invite her here?”

“It is your house and you can do as you wish, my lord, but I do not think it would be wise. I fear she may have a scheme of her own or be a tool in Sebastian’s plans.”

Robert spoke up. “Colette is a very friendly young woman. Very.” He looked at Henry meaningfully.

“Ah. Well, then. I will alert the butler and a few of the grounds staff about the possibility of this man making an appearance, and alert the coachmen about not bringing strangers up from the train station. Is there anything else you can think of right now?”

She shook her head.

“Is there anything at all I can do for you, Elizabeth? Anything at all.” The tender concern in his voice flooded through her, almost as warm as the feel of his hand on hers.

“No, but thank you, my lord. I feel safer already. And I promise that nothing happened with that man. He didn’t touch me, I swear.”

“I believe you.” He cradled her face with his free hand, his fingers brushing against her hair.

There were tears welling in her eyes. “I was so scared that you would find out and then not care for me anymore.”

“I will always care for you.”

Robert stood up and went to look at a tree.

“I couldn’t sleep after that happened. All I could do is think about how silly I had been to get so mad at you about something so inconsequential. You are such a good man, and I had treated you so abominably.”

Her behavior from the previous day suddenly made much more sense. “Is that why you cried in the carriage?”

She nodded. “I understood for the first time how lucky I was to have a man such as you care for me, and I thought that I might have lost you. And so I quarreled with you again because I knew I  _should_  tell you but I didn’t know _how_. Then you told me I could still call you Henry and I knew that you hadn’t discarded me over my temper and I had hope again that you would believe me when I shared with you what had happened.”

“I will never discard you. I could not live without my heart.”

She had no response to that, nothing she could say that could possibly express what she was feeling, except three words that she did not yet feel she had the right to use. 

“I shall take Robert with me to give a description of this fellow. Would you like me to escort you back to the house first?”

“No, I think I am going to stay here and enjoy the view. It is very beautiful and soothing. Thank you though.”

He stood and then brought her hand to his lips and placed a kiss on the back of it. “I shall return when I can.” He bent over and lightly brushed his lips against her cheek. “I will keep you safe. I promise.” She lifted her face to his, taking strength from his resolute surety.

“I believe you, Henry.” Her eyes flickered to his lips and then back to his eyes, and she leaned towards him an infinitesimal amount, noticeable only if you were watching for it. Henry was.

He softly kissed her, just a fleeting caress as he was aware they were visible from the house windows, and then he left with Robert to go warn the staff. None of the three noticed Katherine watching their discussion from the trees with a bitter expression.

Robert sighed as they walked away. “I should have had him thrown in jail.”

“Yes, you should have.”

“Have you asked her to marry you yet?”

“No.”

“Well hurry up and then I can criticize how you take care of her.”

Henry was surprised at the vitriol in Robert’s voice. “I’m sorry, man. I know you were just trying to keep Elizabeth out of a scandal.”

“You don’t understand. I sent my sister away for practically a decade to keep her safe. And then it almost happens under my roof. On my watch.” He stopped and raked his hands through his hair, setting his blonde curls askew. “I would never have forgiven myself if something had happened to her. He didn’t actually say that bit about not doing anything to her. I told Elizabeth that to calm her, but I am positive he would have forced himself on her and then forced her to marry him.”

“But he didn’t, and she’s safe, and you’ve been keeping her safe her whole life. And now I’m here to help. You don’t have to do this on your own anymore.”

They looked back at her where she sat looking out over the view. She seemed especially small to both of them.

Robert took a deep breath, forcing the air out across gritted teeth as he consciously uncurled his fingers from the tense fists they had formed of their own accord. “If he shows up here, I will beat him unconscious.”

“Not if I get to him first.” Henry started back towards the house again.

Robert grabbed Henry by the arm. “You noticed the name of the people he’s staying with.”

Henry stopped but he didn’t look at Robert. “Yes.”

“You know what Susannah is capable of.”

Shadows flitted across Henry’s face. “I’ll never forget.”


	15. Chapter 15

Henry and Robert returned to Elizabeth about an hour later. “All taken care of, flower,” Robert commented, as he sprawled in the chair next to her, his long legs stretched out in front of him.

“Well, then I think we should go do something jolly to take our minds off of all this nastiness.” Elizabeth was determined not to let fears of what might happen spoil her time at Castle Howard.

“And do you have any suggestions as to what that might be?” Robert asked with a yawn. He had been up much too late going over settlements with Henry the night before.

“I think I should like to go see your dogs, Carlisle.” She smiled up at Henry. “Dogs are happy animals.”

“Very well then.” He helped her to stand and tucked her hand through his arm.

To her dismay, several other people joined them on the walk to the animal pens, including the blighted barnacle. Ellie was starting to suspect that the creature had some sort of supernatural sense for when Henry was around.  By the time they made it to the animals, they were a party of a dozen.

The sound of many dogs barking hysterically reached them long before they saw the animals. Something had them in a pother.

“That cat is a servant of the devil! I swear I’ll let the dogs at it next time it comes in here and laughs at them. It must be a demon itself to escape so many times.”

Elizabeth exchanged an amused glance with Robert as they came around the corner of the stone pens and into the working yard.

“Having problems with a cat, Gareth?” Henry called.

A large man in a dark green jumper turned towards them. “Ach, that daft animal may be a good mouser in the hay barns, but it comes over here and laughs at my dogs and gets them all upset. You know I would never wish harm on one of your arnimals, my lord, but it’s upsetting the mams when they are trying to feed their pups.”

“Would letting some of the dogs out to meet my guests disrupt your schedule?”

“Nay, always glad to show off the animals to your lordship and his friends.”

He led them into a large stone building. It smelled faintly of dog, but the stone floors underfoot were immaculately clean, and each spacious pen had fresh straw bedding, old blankets, and big bowls of water.

“Most of the dogs are out now with their handlers, running off the squirrelleys and such, might bring in some rabbits. They’re good about catching most of their own meat fresh. But this mam has her pups with her, so she has her own pen so we can keep an eye on them and make sure they are all getting the food they need.”   The pen had an open front like a horse’s stall with a gate that allowed for the humans to see them without letting the animals out.

A golden retriever was sleeping on a blanket in one corner as her pile of puppies crawled over and around her. They were old enough where they looked like wriggly bear cubs, and jumped on each other with playful yips and topsy turvy spills.

Henry turned to Elizabeth. “Would you like to hold one?”

“Oh yes, please.”

Gareth pushed the front gate back into its slot and the puppies made a break for the exit, causing a scuffle of excitement as the fluffballs barreled past skirts and boots alike. Eventually, all of them were picked up and Henry handed one to Elizabeth.

“Oh, he’s adorable!” Elizabeth started making faces at the puppy. “That’s your Lord Carlisle, and if you’re as nice as can be to him, I wager that he will bring you treats. Yes he will because he’s a big softie.”

A mournful baying interrupted her instructing the puppy not to piddle on the rug if Lord Carlisle took him to the big house.

“What is that noise?” Elizabeth looked around trying to locate the sound, but it was echoing off the stones.

“That’s one of the beagles, ma’am,” Gareth answered.

“Why is it so sad?”

“Because it wants some attention. If someone in here is getting loved on, it thinks it should be getting ear rubs too.”

“Can I see?”

Gareth nodded. “Of course, ma’am.”

She handed the puppy to Robert and followed the burly man further down the center aisle. He stopped at a pen several stalls down and she looked over the gate and saw a single adult with three pups. It was one of the puppies caterwauling.

“Oh, come here, baby.”

Gareth opened the gate and scooped the puppy up with one big hand and deposited it in her arms.

“That will be a good scent hound someday, if we keep her.”

“Why wouldn’t you keep her?” Elizabeth was trying to contain the wriggle monster that was determined to lick her face off in joy.

“We got the beagles for the late children, ma’am. The lord wanted some smaller dogs for the little children that they could play with but would also teach them to hunt. We bred the bitch right before we lost the family, so the new lord needs to decide if we are going to keep these pups and start a little pack of beagles or if we are going to sell them. They have good lines and would sell for a nice price.”

“Is it permissible for me to take this one out on the grass to play?”

Gareth laughed. “Of course, ma’am. Just make sure she stays away from the horses.”

On her way out of the pens, she saw a table covered with training gear and picked up a small ball. Henry found her on the lawn several minutes later. She was seated in the shade under one of the trees, throwing the red ball and laughing as the puppy would bound after it and bring it back and drop it in her lap.

“You realize beagles are scent hounds and not retrievers, right?”

She looked up at his laughing question. “Yes, Henry, but just look at her. She’s having so much fun.” She tossed the ball again and the puppy went sprinting after it. The pup tripped head over heels as her momentum carried her past the ball but she quickly recovered, grabbed the small ball and came tearing back with it in her mouth, as fast as her short legs would carry her. She dropped the ball in Elizabeth’s lap and then climbed onto her lap herself, flopped down and closed her eyes. A little pink tongue lolled out of her mouth.

Henry sat down on the ground next to her. “I think you’ve tired her out.”

“She’s just a baby. She needs her sleep.” Elizabeth petted the already sleeping dog.

“You like puppies.” Henry petted the small animal, letting his fingers brush over hers.

Elizabeth colored prettily at his touch and intertwined her fingers with his. “How can you not like puppies? They are little furry packets of sunshine. And besides, I seem to remember you writing to me that you were going to claim one for your own and bring it back to the house with you,” she teased.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like puppies. I was just commenting on how fond you seem to be of them. I was wondering if it’s puppies specifically or all babies?”

Her eyebrows rose in surprise at the personal question. “Well, I do not think a baby buzzard could be beautiful to anything but its mother,” she temporized.

“Other than buzzards, then.”

“Yes. I like babies in general.” She petted the sleeping puppy in her lap.

“I think I would like to have a lot of children.” Elizabeth’s eyes rose to his at this pronouncement and then dropped quickly to her lap again. Henry watched her cheeks flush pink but her fingers lingered on his in the puppy’s fur so he pressed on.  “There’s enough room for them here to be able to run and play to their hearts content. I should like to give my children all the love and comfort that I never got to enjoy.”

“I can only imagine the amount of mischief a herd of little Henry’s would cause.”

He gently touched her cheek, drawing her gaze to his. “Can you imagine it?”

Her eyes smiled first and then her lips curved. “I think you shall have to replace your nursery staff on a regular basis. Or pay them extra. And you shall have to keep a glazier on staff to replace all the windows that mysteriously get broken. And an extra cook once they turn twelve just to keep them fed.”

“It seems like you have thought about this in great detail.”

Maybe she had, but she was not about to admit that to him. “I remember what it was like when you and Robert would come home for holidays. You made enough noise for twelve people and ate enough for twenty.”

“And I remember you used to pull my hair and order me to have tea parties with you.”

She impulsively reached out and touched his hair, twining one of his curls around her finger and letting it slowly slide along her skin. “Now, I think we should have tea.”

“I should like to ask you something first.”

“Oh, here he is!” Katherine’s voice cut through the air. “We were all wondering where you had gone, Lord Carlisle.”

The puppy whined in its sleep.  _Even the puppy thinks you’re annoying, barnacle._  Perhaps Katherine would fetch the ball if she threw it.

“I appear to have twisted my ankle on the stone floor. I was wondering if you could escort me back to the house, my lord?”

“Miss Brown, my brother is a physician. Maybe he should take you back and then he could look at it for you.”

“Oh, it doesn’t need a physician.” She smiled sweetly. “I think I just need to rest it.”

Henry smiled politely at her. “Of course. Let me fetch a carriage so you don’t have to walk on it.” He stood and brushed off his trousers. “May we finish our conversation later?” he asked Elizabeth quietly.

She nodded, fairly certain about what it was he was going to ask her, and knowing that she would feel quite unsettled until he did ask her.

She didn’t see Henry again until later that afternoon at the al fresco tea and croquet tournament. Katherine seemed to have miraculously recovered from her twisted ankle and was determined to play. When Henry called for the first group to form up, Katherine plastered herself to Henry’s side with such zeal that it would have taken one of Robert’s scalpels to remove her so Elizabeth decided to watch rather than compete. As much fun as it might have been to play against Henry, she did not trust herself with a mallet in her hand in Katherine’s vicinity. She might be able to constrain herself from taking aim at the woman, but she knew herself well enough to know that, given the opportunity, she would send that odious woman’s ball straight into the duck pond.

Elizabeth sat with her mother as the first match started. Robert had been roped into playing by Henry who, she was convinced, had drafted him as a defense against the barnacle, and she and her mother had a rare enjoyable time together, drinking tea and cheering on Robert and eating sponge cake, which was absolutely divine. Henry had been correct in recommending it to her.

The first match ended and the second group began to form up. Elizabeth was about to volunteer to play – one can only eat so much sponge cake of an afternoon – when Katherine hooked her arm with her own and said, “Oh please, won’t you join me for a cup of tea? It was so nice to get to talk to you last night and I feel like we could be such good friends.”

Elizabeth couldn’t come up with a lie fast enough to extricate herself. Robert and Henry joined the next group in playing, and her mother simply got up and walked away, leaving Elizabeth to socialize with no reinforcements. Katherine poured, and for all her barnacleyness the lady did have an elegant way about serving tea, and Elizabeth spent her first cup with Katherine politely deflecting veiled questions about what she and Henry had been discussing earlier until the barnacle finally gave up and poured both of them another cup of tea.

As the match progressed further down the hill, Elizabeth decided to walk down as well so she could actually see the action. She heard the crack of a mallet hitting a ball as she stood up, and then a cheer went up from the players. Someone must have gotten to the final stake.

Elizabeth paused as a shooting pain went through her head. She pressed a hand to her temple, pushing against the spot that hurt the worst, and waited for it to subside, but it resolved in to a low pulsing pain. She took another step but then the ground shifted under her feet. Wondering what in the world was going on, she stopped and tried to take a deep breath but her heart was racing so fast she couldn’t focus on breathing. A cold sweat broke out on the back of her neck.

Again, the hill moved underfoot and she swayed with it like riding a ship in a storm. Her head throbbed in time with her racing heart, skipping beats as if she were an intoxicated musician. Her heart slowed and she staggered, feeling a sudden wave of nausea overtake her. She choked back the acidic fluid, determined not to be sick in front of everyone. Clamping her hand over her mouth, she turned and staggered up the hill, willing herself upright against the surging waves of grass and the drunken timpani of her heart. She bent over as another wave of nausea ripped through her, and she fell to the lawn.

Her fingers dug into the grass, trying to force it to lay still under her, certain that if she could just get it to stop moving that the seasickness would stop. Her mother’s scream for Robert sounded from far away, and she convulsed in agony as another wave of nausea tossed her around. Tears leaked from her eyes as she fought it back. The sound of her mother screaming was engulfed in the echoing call of her name. Someone was calling her name, but she didn’t know who. She tried to sit up and hands held her down. So many hands. The hands had her. The hands would keep the grass still. She slipped under the crashing waves, and it was dark and quiet and still.

Henry watched in terror as Elizabeth fainted.  Her skin was pale, even paler than normal, with no hint of the pink flush he took such pleasure in eliciting. “Someone call a physician!”

“Henry, I’m right here!” Robert said in exasperation as he held his sister’s wrist, feeling for her pulse. He shook his head as he counted, his fingers on her wrist and his pocket watch in his hand. “We need to get her inside.”

Henry scooped her up without a second thought. Robert adjusted her so she was leaning against him with her head resting against Henry’s shoulder instead of hanging back limply. “Come on, then.”

They were almost inside when Elizabeth stirred in Henry’s arms. “The sky keeps moving.”

“It’s because I’m carrying you.”

“No, it keeps going in circles. I’m so dizzy.”

“What happened?” Robert asked. “Did you fall and hit your head?”

“No, I was fine and then the hill moved and mother is the boat captain and I’m going to be sick.” She pushed at Henry in a panic. “Put me down, I’m going to be sick.”

Her body shook with a suppressed heave and he helped her to her feet, holding her steady as she trembled.  A maid came running with a bowl that had been hastily emptied of the fruit it had held on the tea table, and Elizabeth finally gave in and retched. Over and again, her body rid her of whatever foul substance was attacking her. When she was done, she swooned and Henry caught her up in his arms again. They hurried thorough the house to her bedchamber and Henry placed her on her bed. She was practically as white as her sheet.

“You need to go now.” Robert told Henry, as he felt Elizabeth’s forehead and then checked her pulse again.

“I’m not leaving her.”

“You can’t be in here.”

“I’m  _not_ leaving her.”

“Go fetch another physician.”

“Why? You can cure this, right?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong. Call her maid up here, whoever would know about what medical supplies are in the house and then the physician. You need to do this for me. For her.”

“She’s going to be alright, though. Right?”

“Go,  _now._ ”

Robert saw the fear in Henry’s eyes and hoped it wasn’t reflected in his own. Ellie’s heart was beating much too slowly. Combined with the nausea and dizziness, he had no idea what was causing this.

When Henry came back, Elizabeth had passed out once again after waking long enough to be sick and complain about the rabbits that were making too much noise under the bed. Robert was peppering Victoria with questions about any irregularities in Elizabeth’s routine or behavior recently as Henry paced up and down the hall outside her room. He had sent out his fastest riders to the three local villages, hoping that at least one of them would find a physician at home, and he had them take horses for the physicians as well. Robert finally came out to the hall to see him.

“Victoria is going to help change her into a sleeping gown. Could you have another maid sent up to help her?”

Henry ran down the hall without bothering to say anything. The maid appeared and then disappeared into the bedchamber, closing the door behind her. For several minutes the men paced, too frightened to give voice to their thoughts. The maid came out; Robert went back in and shut the door behind him.

Henry continued to pace. The frenetic motion mirrored his thoughts. The idea of losing Elizabeth was unfathomable. He couldn’t even let himself think about it. He kept coming back to the idea that someone had made her sick on purpose. For her to be fine one moment and then violently ill smacked of foul play. The idea that someone had acted to hurt Elizabeth,  _his_ Elizabeth, his  _Ellie_ , made him furious. That it had happened here, in his home, in what would be their home, made him even angrier. He clung to that anger like a life-preserver, knowing that if his grasp slipped he would sink into despair.

Robert opened the door and beckoned to him. “You can come see her if you want. I’ll leave the door open and Mother is in there along with the maid.”

“How bad is it?”

Robert’s face was almost as pale as Elizabeth’s.

“If there’s anything you want to say to her, I would say it now.”

Henry’s heart plummeted. This was not possible. He was not going to lose her so soon. He hadn’t even really told her he loved her yet.

He silently walked into her bedchamber. The lamps dimly illuminated the room as the drawn curtains kept out most of the light. Her hair was down around her shoulders in loose waves and he could see the faint sheen of perspiration on her brow. Her breathing was slow and shallow and rattled in her chest. The dowager marchioness sat in a chair on the other side of the bed, holding Elizabeth’s hand.

He sunk to his knees at the side of the bed and took her hand in his. She didn’t respond at all to his touch, not even with a faint tightening of her fingers. He rested his head against their clasped hands and began to pray. He didn’t know how long he had been there when Robert tapped him on his shoulder. “Doctor Thorne is here.”

His knees ached as he stood and gave the doctor room to move closer. Doctor Thorne checked her pulse and listened to her heart. He lit a split at the hearth and then pulled up her eyelid and moved the flame in front of the eye and back away. Henry didn’t understand a lot of what Robert and Dr. Thorne were saying. Finally, Dr. Thorne said, “Well, if she were forty years older, I would say that she had taken too much of her heart medicine.”

“What do you mean?”

“The slow heart, the dizziness and confusion, the nausea, the dilated pupils; they all match the symptoms of digitalis toxicity. But I can’t believe that a woman this young and healthy looking was taking digitalis.”

“Could someone have given it to her?” Henry asked.

“You mean, without her knowing? It’s possible. It’s administered in a liquid, so you could put it in a cup of tea or a soup. I’m not sure how well it would work if heated, but perhaps in food. That’s assuming it was made to medicinal strength. If concentrated even further, a drop or two on a piece of toast would be enough to make her ill.”

“No one else got sick. That means they would have had to put it on something they knew only she would eat,” Henry told Robert.

Dr. Thorne looked at him in shock. “You’re suggesting that someone tried to kill this young lady?”

“There have been some threats made towards her lately.”

“What are you talking about, Robert?” His mother’s voice sliced through their whispered conversation. “Who threatened Elizabeth?”

“It’s a long story, and we’ll talk about it later, Mother.” Robert turned back to Dr. Thorne. “What is the treatment?”

“At this point, we wait and see. I’m encouraged to hear that she vomited so much. That means less of it got into her system. To purge her could damage her heart more, though.”

“What about bleeding her?” Robert asked.

“No. Her body rid itself of the toxins. Now we just keep her resting. Lots of nourishing broths, nothing too hard on the stomach. Blanc mange, tea, stewed apples, things like that.”

“Thank you, Doctor Thorne,” Henry said.

“You can send for me again if you need anything, but I think this fine physician can oversee her recovery, now that we know what it is.”

Robert was showing the doctor out when Elizabeth stirred on the bed, blinking her eyes several times.

“I’m here darling,” her mother cooed.

“Henry?”

“I’m here.”

She let her head fall to the side on her pillow so she could see him. He came over to the side of the bed and took her hand.

“I’m so sorry, Henry.”

“For what, darling?”

“For getting sick,” she took a breath, “all over everything and for ruining your croquet tournament. Were you winning when I interrupted?” Her labored breathing made it difficult to get out more than a few words at a time, but Henry would have waited hours to listen to her.

“You just concentrate on getting better.” He smoothed her hair back from her forehead.

“I’m so tired.”

“Then you sleep.” He smiled at her, relieved she was talking sense, even if she could barely keep her eyes open to do it.

“I wish you could stay and hold my hand while I sleep. That would be so boring for you though.”

“Your wish is my command, Ellie.

“You called me Ellie.” A weak smile crossed her face.

“I would always call you Ellie if you would let me.”

“I would like that.” She struggled to keep her eyes opened.

“You sleep now, Ellie.” He kissed her brow. “You sleep and I will sit watch by your side.”

When her eyes were closed, he looked at Robert. “You can’t make me leave.”

“You are not staying here with her!” Ellie’s mother pronounced in horrified tones.

“Yes, I am, my lady. She has asked me to stay and I will stay. If you would like to stay as well, you can, but you will keep your voice down so you do not disturb her rest.”

The dowager marchioness imperiously raised herself to her feet. Her chin in the air added the appearance of six inches to her regal height. “I am appalled by your manners. You may have inherited this title through the misfortune of others, but you will never  _be_  an earl.” She swept from the room with all the grandiosity one would expect from the queen.

“I’ll get you a chair.” Robert said, after his mother left the room.

They waited through the evening like that, Robert on one side of her bed, Henry on the other. Victoria kept watch in a chair in the corner. Trays of food were brought, and Henry ate one handed, refusing to let go of her hand for the length of time necessary to move a fork from the plate to his mouth. They managed to spoon some soup into her, and she took a few sips of tea. Every time she opened her eyes, they coaxed her to drink as Dr. Thorne had warned Robert that one of the biggest problems facing Elizabeth in her recovery would be kidney failure due to dehydration. So they sat with her, and coaxed her to drink, and slept in shifts.

She woke at some point in the night. “Henry?”

“I’m here, Ellie.” He turned up the lamp so she could see better only to notice that her eyes were barely open.

“We need another cook.”

“Why is that?” he asked with a smile. They had grown accustomed to her delirious pronouncements at this point.

“For the babies.”

“The babies?”

“They’ve gotten so big. We need another cook just to feed the boys.”

Henry smiled and she was asleep again.


	16. Chapter 16

Henry woke to the feel of fingers slipping through his hair and opened his eyes to see Ellie watching him with a tired smile. He yawned drowsily and stretched, trying to relieve the kink in his back from having slept slumped over in a chair. “How are you feeling, darling?”

“I’m so tired. It is as if I am carrying around an elephant that I can’t seem to put down.”

“I think you should leave the elephant outside with the peacock.”

She looked over at Robert dozing in his chair, his stocking feet propped up on the edge of the bed, and Victoria curled up on the little settee in the corner. “Is it morning?”

He nodded.

She turned to look back at him and took in his rumpled shirt and loosened cravat. “Did you stay all night?”

“Of course I did. It’s what you asked of me.”

She let her fingers trail against the rough stubble on his jaw. She had never felt anything like it. “I cannot imagine that my mother approved of that.”

He chuckled softly, and turned his head to press a kiss against her fingers. “No, she didn’t. But your mother’s approval is not important to me.”

“What is important to you?”

“You are. Your happiness.” He captured her hand with his and brought it to his mouth, brushing a kiss across her knuckles. “How can I make you happy today, my Ellie?”

“You have done so much already.”

“Let me do more. Please.”

“Am I dying?”

“What?”

She waved vaguely in Robert’s direction with her other hand. “He let you stay which meant he was planning on staying. Bedside vigils aren’t an everyday occurrence.”

She was too smart to hide things from. “You’re very sick.”

“Am I going to die?”

The question pierced his heart like a bayonet. She had put into words his biggest fear. “I hope not.  I pray to God that you will recover.”

She closed her eyes and sunk back into the pillow, exhausted from the simple effort of talking. “What is wrong with me?”

Henry paused, uncertain of what to say. Should he tell her that he suspected that someone had tried to kill her? Would the upset make her condition worse? But how could he lie to her? “Dr. Thorne believes that you ate something that made you sick.”

“How many other people were taken ill?”

“Just you.”

“Then someone put something in my food to make me ill.”

Too smart indeed. He had not wanted her to worry about this while she recovered. “That is our best guess. We could be wrong.”

“Whatever it is they used, it definitely worked.” She managed a ghost of a laugh.

He kissed her hand again. “It amazes me that you can laugh.”

“I have very few regrets in my life. I never want not laughing enough to become one of them.” She was managing to get out only a few words between breaths.

“What regrets do you have, my darling?”

She opened her eyes, needing to see him, fearing that she wouldn’t again. “Ever quarreling with you. To think that I might have wasted some of the few moments I have been allocated with you on anything other than happiness tears at my heart.”

“We will have many more moments together.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I love you, and I will fight Death himself if he tries to take you from me.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “I love you too, Henry. I don’t know how much strength I have to fight with though.”

“You rest. Rest and regain your strength. I have enough for both of us right now.”

She was quiet for a few minutes, and he thought she had fallen back asleep. Then, she quietly said, “There is one thing. One thing I would know.”

“What is that?”

“You were going to ask me something yesterday. I would know what it was, in case. In case I do not wake up.”  She could say about three words without having to stop for breath.

“I want to ask you to be my wife. I want you to marry me, Ellie.”

“But I get lost in your house.”

He smiled at the concern on her face. “I will draw you a map.”

“Then yes.” She took a deep breath. “If you still want me for your wife when I recover, I will marry you, my Henry.”

He smiled at her and stroked her hair back from her face. “You have made me the happiest man on earth. Out of our deepest sorrows come our greatest joys.”

“I think I need to sleep now.”

He kissed her softly on the lips. “I love you, Ellie. Sleep, and I will guard you as you dream.”

She didn’t respond. The eyes that had closed at his kiss stayed closed in sleep. He thought he detected a hint of color in her cheeks, though, that hadn’t been there before. Robert stood up and stretched. “I guess congratulations are in order.”

“You heard?”

He picked up Ellie’s wrist and counted her pulse. Henry kept an eye on Robert’s face, looking for any flicker of reaction. Robert placed Ellie’s hand down gently on the coverlet and then listened to her heart. “Her pulse is slightly faster, and her heart rhythm is steadier.”

“That’s good, right?”

“Yes. It’s a very small improvement, but it’s a good sign. Hopefully it is just a matter of time for her to recover. That and convincing her to rest.”

“What can I do?”

“Go, eat something, shave, change your shirt.”

“Will you stay with her? There are a few things I need to do.”

“Of course. Send up something to eat. And the paper.”

Henry stalked through the house, shooting out orders to his servants. Hansen was waiting for him in his dressing room with a change of clothes laid out for him. He was changed and getting a shave when George came in, looking fairly disheveled. He hadn’t expected to waken for several more hours. “You summoned?”

“Elizabeth is sick. I need to stay with her. You’re going to be the host for the next few days while I tend to her.”

“That is an undue amount of attention to pay to a female guest, brother.”

“Yes, well she is also my fiancée, so I feel protective of her.”

George’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Congratulations, brother. I did not know you were engaged.”

“It just happened. One of the reasons I was having this party is so that you could meet her. I hope you will come to love her as a sister.”

“Of course.”

“Talk to the butler. He has the plans well in hand. And send up a footman.”

The footman knocked on the door a few minutes later.

“I want you to go down to the Master of the Hounds. Tell Gareth that I want the beagle puppy that Lady Elizabeth was playing with yesterday brought up to the house to stay, along with whatever accoutrement needed for her care. If the pup still needs her mother, have the mother and the other pups brought up as well. And send someone with the dog to tend to the animal’s needs.”

The footman bowed and exited.

Henry moved aside a painting and opened the safe it concealed. He took out a small metal box locked with an elaborate mechanism. “Come with me, Hansen.”

Henry went to his study and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen.

_Harrington,_

_Help needed. Wolves circling. One of your minions will not do. I know this is irregular but I want you there. Meet me at the usual, 3:10._

_Featherstone_

He folded the paper, placed it in an envelope and then dropped red sealing wax over it. Pulling a signet ring from the small locked box, he stamped the wax with the head of a wolf and then handed it to Hansen.

Hansen looked at the wolf’s head seal and then up at Henry. “So, it begins again does it?”

“It seems that it does.”

“I’ll be back when I can.”

“Stay safe. I have no idea of the scope of this yet.”

Hansen nodded and exited.

Henry waited until Hansen left and then unlocked the desk drawer and removed his pistol. Placing it in his coat pocket, he went back to Elizabeth’s room, arriving to find her still asleep. He placed a kiss on her forehead and then reclaimed his chair at the side of her bed.

Robert handed him a tray of food and he started to eat. He kept watching Ellie, looking for any sign of change in her. Her breathing was still shallow, but it didn’t seem as labored. She slept listlessly, though, and he couldn’t forget how clammy her skin had felt under his lips. He took her hand again as much for his reassurance as hers.

Her eyes opened when he touched her. “Sorry, darling. I didn’t mean to wake you. Would you like some tea?”

“Do I have a choice?”

He shook his head. “You have to drink something.”

“I don’t suppose you have hot chocolate?”

“I can find out, and if not, I will send for some in York.”

Henry went to the door and talked to the maid stationed outside the door. He had asked the butler to make sure there was always someone waiting there to make it easier for him and Robert to care for Ellie.

“In the meantime,” Robert said, “you can drink water.

“Is this what I have to look forward to? You two forcing me drink every time I wake up?”

“At least you have something to look forward to.” He helped her sit up, propping the pillows around her for support. Henry sat on the edge of the bed and handed her a glass of water. He gently wrapped her fingers around it and made sure she had a firm grip before he let go.

She took a sip and then another. “It’s very strange having both of you staring at me like that.”

Robert laughed. “Sorry, Ellie. We’re both just very happy you are capable of drinking anything at all.”

“Are you going to stop staring at me?”

The men looked at each other. “No,” they both said.

“And best wishes, flower. I understand Henry finally asked you to marry him.”

She managed to laugh, though it caused her chest to heave from the effort. “What do you mean finally?”

“I was surprised he didn’t ask you on the train ride up here.”

She smiled at Henry. “I think he wanted me to see the house first. I might have been able to resist him, but he was fairly certain I could not resist Castle Howard.”

“Whatever it took to get you to say yes.” Henry answered with a grin.

Robert shook his head in amusement. “I think this is the point where I am supposed to threaten Henry and say, ‘I will burn down this heap of stones you call a house if you hurt her’ but I think there’s been quite enough of that going on. And drink your water, Ellie.”

She took another sip. Lifting the glass to her mouth took an enormous amount of energy.

There was a knock at the door and Victoria answered it. Ellie’s head turned at the yapping noise that came from the open door. Henry took the puppy from the young man and brought the wriggling animal over to Elizabeth and placed it on her bed. “I thought you might want some company while you recover. We’ll have someone to help you take care of it, but she brought such a smile to your face yesterday.”

Ellie smiled at Henry and then scratched the puppy behind her ears and the little animal’s entire rear half wiggled with happiness. “What’s her name?”

“Whatever you want it to be.”

“You’re going to let me name your dog?” she asked in surprise.

Henry placed his hand over hers, where it rested on the puppy. “She’s your dog. Your first decision as Lady Carlisle-to-be.”

Ellie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was tired, and the sudden realization that she wasn’t just marrying Henry, but marrying the Earl of Carlisle, stripped her of her little remaining energy. Remembering their day in the botanical gardens when he had first talked to her of love, she easily settled upon a name for her new pet. “I’ll call her Lilly.”

An hour later, Elizabeth was sound asleep. The chocolate pot was half empty on the tea tray, and she had managed to eat and keep down a piece of toast as well.  Victoria had helped her to the lavatory, changed her gown and washed her face for her, and tucked her back into bed like a small child. Henry watched her sleeping and thought she seemed calmer, as if she was actually resting and not just sleeping. She was curled up on her side with Lilly snuggled up against the back of her knees. A tiny pink tongue stuck out as the puppy softly snored. Robert checked her pulse again, and pronounced it unchanged from earlier that morning.

He looked at Henry. “So, do we call the constable? Do we have an inquest made?”

“With what evidence? We can’t prove that she was poisoned. No, I have a plan and it is already in motion.”

Robert waited for Henry to explain further, but was met with silence.

“Well, are you going to tell me?”

“I’m really not at liberty to say.”

“You’re not at liberty to say,” Robert parroted back and laughed. “You sound like a French spy.”

Henry looked at Robert for a long moment. Finally, he said two words.

“Not French.”


	17. Chapter 17

“What do you mean, not French?” Robert asked in shock. “Are you saying you’re a spy?”

Henry glared at him. “I’m not saying anything.”

“Dear god, man. I thought I knew you. Are you at least working for the Empire?”

“I’m not a traitor.”

“Wait, are you the reason someone is trying to hurt Ellie? I swear to God, I will break her heart and refuse to let you marry her if it means she’s going to live the rest of her life in fear.”

Henry pulled Robert away from Ellie’s bed by the front of his shirt. “I don’t know!” he hissed. “I don’t know what or who is behind this. That’s what I’m going to find out. And you will _not_ take her from me. I left all of that behind me when I inherited. What do you think I’ve spent the last several months doing? I’ve been closing down all my…operations. Do you really think it takes months to read a will and an accounts ledger?”

Robert was not cowed by Henry’s anger and glared back at him. For the first time, that rage-driven twist of the jaw was directed at Henry. “I won’t let you hurt her.”

“You’ll be the one hurting her if you try and take her from me. Don’t you understand? I love your sister and she loves me. I’ve never let myself love before because I knew the dangers involved for anyone close to me.”

“What about Susannah?”

“That was part of an operation.”

Robert’s jaw dropped. “Susannah’s a spy too?”

“I’m not really at liberty,” Henry started.

“To say,” Robert finished. “I get it. Who else knows? Who else knows what you are?”

Henry raked a hand through his hair and sighed tiredly. “Hansen. He’s not just my valet and he’s been invaluable. And then certain officials in London.”

“And Susannah and whoever she’s told.”

“I doubt she’s told many people. She’s more…flexible when it comes to allegiances than others.”

Robert shook his head. “I can’t believe you would be so selfish as to expose Ellie to this kind of danger. That is a deeply disturbing idea of love you have.”

“Listen, Robert.” Henry grabbed him by the shirt front again. “When you fall in love you can lecture me about dangers and what _you_ would and wouldn’t do for the woman you love. I will do _everything_ within my power to keep her safe, and you have a much better idea now of what I’m capable of than you did a minute ago. I just know that I need her in a way I didn’t think was possible, and I will bring down the wrath of the Empire on anyone who lifts a hand to her.”

Their heads swiveled back to the bed as Ellie started coughing. She levered herself up with one arm as she gagged, and Robert sprinted for the bowl and held it under her head as she vomited up the cocoa and toast. She kept gagging, acidic bile burning her throat as her body heaved until she was shaking. She fell back against the pillows covered in a cold sweat, her hair clinging in damp tendrils to her face.

Henry woke Victoria from where she had been sleeping on a cot they had set up in the dressing room. The formerly calm room turned into a beehive of activity. Henry felt helpless as he watched the swirl of maids stripping the bed and remaking it with clean linens while Robert helped Victoria take Ellie to clean up and change into a clean gown. He sat in the corner with Lilly in his lap, stroking the puppy who was whining with excitement at all the commotion. Finally, he decided he needed to get out of the room for a few minutes to clear his head from the fight with Robert and his restoked fears about Elizabeth.

Lilly happily followed him as he left, excited about all the new smells. He grabbed her just before she piddled on the rug and hurriedly carried her out to the garden where she ran around and sniffed everything she could find. He trailed after Lilly in her explorations, just needing the fresh air and mindless activity as his mind churned over everything that had happened. He was positive that Ellie had been poisoned. There was no other explanation that made sense. But that meant that either one of his guests or staff had poisoned her. He couldn’t think that any of his guests would have done something that dastardly.

And then there was the matter of Sebastian’s assault on Ellie. He was glad that he and Ellie had quarreled that night so that she was still awake to prevent the plan from being executed. He didn’t see how that assault could be connected to the one here. He didn’t know of any of his guests that had a connection to Sebastian, but now that Sebastian was a known associate of Susannah, he wasn’t quite willing to dismiss the possibility out of hand. He could understand the motivation, however evil and foul, behind Sebastian’s attempt on Ellie’s reputation, but he couldn’t understand what he or Susannah would expect to gain from an attempt on Ellie’s life. Their only gain there could be to keep him from marrying so that they could put forth a candidate of their own. Susannah could not possibly be so foolish as to believe that he would ever be interested in her as a paramour, much less a wife, which meant that she would be putting her considerable talents behind tempting him with another woman. She had no idea how doomed to failure that plan would be.

His thoughts were interrupted by a barroo from Lilly. He looked around, trying to find where the puppy had gotten to, only to see the brown and white fluffball tearing across the lawn after the damnable peacock. The bird had quietly gotten closer and closer to Henry while he had been thinking, and apparently Lilly had decided the giant iridescent monster had gotten quite close enough to her master. The peacock screamed in offense at the attack on his majesty and ran off in the opposite direction with Lilly howling behind her. As he watched, the peacock took flight for a moment and claimed sanctuary in a tree, squawking down at Lilly who had her front paws up against the trunk and was barking as loud as she could.

Henry went to retrieve Lilly, laughing for the first time since Ellie had been hurt. Picking up the wee animal, he scratched her under the chin. “Good job, little girl. We just won’t tell your mommy about this.”

Heading back into the house, he took the back stairs down into the servants’ quarters. Still not used to so many people standing as he walked in, he waved for them to sit down. “I was hoping to see Mrs. Thompson and Mrs. Parker.”

“Of course, sir. If you would just come with me?” one of the footmen asked.

He handed Lilly to one of the younger looking maids in the room. “She probably shouldn’t go in the kitchen, but could you get her something to eat? Finely chopped meat in milk should be a suitable treat for her, I think.”

The maid bobbed a curtsey. “Yes m’lord. Absolutely m’lord.” She wasn’t even looking at him, occupied with scratching Lilly under the chin and muttering nonsense to her.

He was led to Mrs. Thompson’s office. The lady, a friendly looking woman with a round face and a coronet of steel grey hair stood as he was shown in.

“Lord Carlisle, it is an honor to have you down here to see me. What can I do for you?”

“I was hoping to talk to you and Mrs. Parker together, actually.”

“Of course.” She nodded to the footman, who bowed and exited. “Can I offer you some tea or something to eat?”

“No, thank you.”

A moment later, Mrs. Parker knocked on the door and entered.

“I am trusting you two women with some very important information. Under no circumstances should you discuss this with anyone else or even with each other.”

The women looked at each other in surprise and then back at him. “Of course, my lord.”

“It appears that someone poisoned Lady Elizabeth Harcourt yesterday.” He waited for the gasps of horror to quiet and continued. “I trust both of you implicitly, but it seems that the most likely scenario for how she was poisoned was yesterday at the tea. Someone would have introduced it into her food. I don’t know if it was a servant or a guest or a stranger that managed to appear like they belonged on the grounds. However, from here on out, I would like both of you to keep watch for anything strange or unusual that may happen in the future. Anyone unusual in the house, strange ingredients being delivered to the kitchens, something that just seems not normal. If you do see something, report it directly to me. Do not discuss it with anyone else. Do not talk to the person. Is that clear?”

“Of course, my lord,” both women said.

“I will talk to Jacobsen and give him the same instructions. I do not know that there will be another attempt on her life, but I do not know that there will not be one either, and I would rather be prepared for the worst. Mrs. Parker, please keep a close watch on all of the food that is prepared for her. She needs to be on clear liquids for the next few days. She can’t even keep down hot chocolate and toast at this time. And Mrs. Thompson, if you will make sure the maids working in her rooms are the ones you would trust the most, I would be most grateful.”

“Of course, my lord.”

He stood and both women did as well. “I fear that this is not the only chaos I have introduced into your domain this morning. I have given one of your maids the task of feeding my dog and tiring her out. I’m sure the staff has more than a few willing hands to lend to the task. When she’s ready for a nap, please send her back up to Lady Harcourt’s room. If you need to talk to me, that’s where I’ll be.”

He left without a backward glance and ran up the stairs. He found Jacobsen and gave him the same instructions, and then left a note for the steward who was out on the grounds.

When he opened the door to Ellie’s room, he could tell something was wrong. Her mother had claimed Robert’s chair and was holding one of Ellie’s hands and crying softly into a lace-edged handkerchief. Robert was holding her wrist and taking her pulse while Victoria hovered in the background, gnawing at her thumbnail.

He hurried to her side. Her face had taken on a greyish pallor and her lips were pale and cracked. Each breath was a struggle. Her hair was dampened with sweat and hung lankly around her face. Robert shook his head and sighed and placed Ellie’s hand in Henry’s. “Her heart beat has slowed down considerably.”

Henry looked at Ellie’s face and then back at Robert. “She’s going to recover, though. She’s going to get better.” He couldn’t make them be questions. They were the facts. She was going to be fine. She just needed more time and more rest.

“I’d like to send for Thorne again.”

Henry looked back at Ellie’s face, and heard her gasping breaths coming seconds apart. “Do it.” Robert left the room and Henry sat on the edge of the bed clasping Ellie’s hand in between his palms. He rubbed her hand, wanting to bring warmth to her chill fingers, not willing to cede any part of her to the cold.

She slowly opened her eyes. Her normally sparkling expression was dull and cloudy.

“I knew you would come back,” she whispered.

“I took Lilly out for a romp.”

“You’re so thoughtful.”

He stroked her forehead, brushing back the strands of her hair that clung to her damp skin. “What can I do to make you happy today, my Ellie?”

He watched tears well in her eyes and then she slowly turned her head so she could see her mother.

“Mother, give me a minute alone with Henry, please?”

“Ellie, it wouldn’t be proper.” She sounded scandalized that Ellie would even ask for such a thing.

“It’s not going to matter soon, Mother.”

Her mother choked back a sob and then fled the room. Victoria went after her and shut the door quietly behind her.

“Promise me something,” she murmured when she had looked back at Henry.

“Anything. Anything at all, my darling.” He smiled at her, wishing, no, praying, that he could heal her with the warmth of his smile.

“Promise me you’ll fall in love again.”

It felt like getting punched in the gut. “Anything but that.”

“You’ve been alone,” she gasped in another breath, “for too long.”

“Then don’t leave me. Don’t leave me alone,” he pleaded with her.

“You need…to fall in love… You need… a herd… of noisy boys… and a daughter… to spoil the way… you spoiled me…” She struggled to get out the words, to tell him of her hopes for his future; a future she now knew wouldn’t include her. Tears were running down her cheeks.

“You can’t do this, Ellie.” He took her face in his hands as his tears spilled over. “You can’t leave me like this. I just found you.” He kissed her forehead, his tears anointing her like holy oil. “I was supposed to protect you, damn it!”

“This wasn’t your fault,” she whispered, her voice dusty and crackling.

“I love you, my Elizabeth. I will always love you.”

“I love you too, darling.”

He stroked away the tear tracks from her face, tenderly touching her faded skin.

The barest ghost of a smile fluttered across her face.

“I wish we could have one more waltz. Just to feel you hold me one more time.”

Henry could barely hear her words but they tore at his heart even in their softness. He had promised her he would always make her wishes come true, and now he was going to fail in this as he had failed in so much when it came to her.

With an impulsive certainty he stood and pulled back her blankets. She looked at him in confusion. “We may not have music, but I’ll be damned if that’s going to keep me from holding you when you wish it.” He pulled off his boots and stretched out next to her and carefully pulled her into his arms, pillowing her head on his chest before tugging the blanket back up over them and cradling her against him. “Sleep now, my Ellie. Sleep, and I will hold you until you tell me to stop.” He held her hand over his heart as she slept and the slow steady stream of his tears dampened the pillow under his head.


	18. Chapter 18

Henry fell asleep with Ellie in his arms. That was how Robert found them when Thorne arrived. Henry had shifted onto his side in his sleep so he was curled protectively around Ellie, both of his arms wrapped around her like loving armor. She had tucked her head under his chin and was nestled against his chest. Robert hated to wake them because Ellie actually sounded like she was breathing better – quieter and at a more normal pace – and because she finally had a bit of color to her face.

He tapped Henry on the shoulder and whispered, “Thorne is here.”

Henry opened his eyes and looked at the woman sleeping comfortably in his arms. “You can let him in, but I’m staying where I am.”

Robert wasn’t going to argue with him. Who knew how many more hours he had with her, and hell, maybe his presence was doing her some good. Nothing else seemed to be working.

Thorne came in and they took her pulse. She woke while they poked and prodded, listened to her heart and lungs, looked in her eyes and down her throat, and finally went off to consult with each other in the corner. Ellie was content to just curl back into Henry’s chest and return to sleep, which she quickly did. Henry combed his fingers through her hair while he waited for the men to finish their discussion. He could feel her breathing peaceful and steady against his chest. When he brushed her hair back from her face, a ghost of pink roses could be seen in her cheeks. He kissed her softly on the forehead and could have sworn that she smiled in her sleep.

Thorne left and Robert came back over to the bed and slumped down in the chair. “She’s almost back up to where she was before. Thorne says the thing to be really concerned about is the vomiting. It’s stressing her heart and causing that plummet in her heart rate like we saw. Clear liquids. Water, broth, peppermint tea if we can find some fresh peppermint.”

“Talk to Mrs. Parker. I wouldn’t be surprised if we have mint in the gardens. If not, we’ll buy it.”

“I’ll go do that now.” He stood. “Listen, I’m sorry about what I said earlier. It’s obvious how much she loves you, and I know you’ll do your best to keep her safe.”

Henry nodded.

“I’m going to send Victoria in to sit in the corner just to keep my mother from having a full blown case of apoplexy. But I think Ellie needs you here. I think she feels better when you’re with her. So, doctor’s orders. Stay with her.”

Henry smiled into Ellie’s hair. He didn’t need permission to stay with her. If it helped Robert cope with his presence to give it, then that was fine. Ellie had asked for him, and that was all he needed.

As Ellie’s heart rate improved, his calmed. He whispered to her while she slept, telling her of his plans for their life together, the improvements he wanted to make to the grounds, the hour he had spent in the nursery one day, imagining it full of their children. He told her he loved her, over and over again. Finally, he slept as well.

They awoke to the scandalized scream of Ellie’s mother. “How dare you! How dare you defile my daughter like this?”

Henry rolled onto his back so he could see the intruder. “Mother,” Ellie murmured, raising her head from Henry’s chest, “stop it.”

“I will _not_ stop it. How dare that man be in your bed, especially in your vulnerable state?”

“I asked him to hold me.” Henry was pleased to see that she was getting out whole sentences without gasping for breath.

“Any _honorable_ man would have refused your wicked urges. He has ruined your reputation! No man will take you now.”

Tired, she rested her head against Henry again. “Mother, Henry asked me to marry him. If I get better, I’m going to marry him.”

“When you get better,” Henry corrected her gently, and stroked her hair. He could feel the tension in her body building in frustration at her mother.

“Of course you say that now, you poor excuse for a trumped-up earl. I regret the day I ever let Robert bring you into our house. Everyone always told me that orphans were just bad luck waiting to happen. I should have listened.”

“Mummy! Don’t talk that way about him.”

Henry had had enough. Ellie had too little energy to waste it defending him against her mother. “Lady, I regret that your husband treated you and your children so poorly that you don’t recognize love when you see it. I love your daughter. I’m going to marry her and if me caring for her while she is ill scandalizes your delicate sensibilities so much, I can have a pastor brought up from the local village and marry us right now. Of course, you would miss out on all the social hoopla surrounding a wedding and the prestige of being mother of the bride, but those are your choices.”

Her nostrils flared in outrage at being spoken to in such a manner. “I am going to go find Robert. He’ll put a stop to this nonsense at once.” She stormed out of the room, leaving a wake of lavender and outrage floating behind her.

“I hope Robert supports us in this.”

“He gave me doctor’s orders not to leave your side.”

She looked up at him in surprise. “He did?”

“He thinks you are healing better when I am with you.”

“And when I am recovered; would you leave me then?”

“No. I will never leave you, though at some point I feel I should stop lying in your bed with you until we are properly wed.” A soft chuckle shook his chest and he saw faded roses take up residence in her cheeks.

Ellie quietly asked, “Did you mean what you said earlier? About having us married today if she continued to protest?

“Yes.”

She smiled. “It would be easier in so many ways. Mother would never forgive me though. Or you! Especially you. Think of the scandal of us marrying without all the proper ceremony. She will insist on a six month engagement at the minimum.”

“Do you want to wait six months to marry me?” He found himself playing with her long hair as they talked.

“I don’t see that we have much choice. It is just the way things are done. We’ll consider ourselves fortunate if she doesn’t insist on something much longer.”

“If I have your permission, I shall place the notice of our engagement in the papers as soon as is possible.”

She nodded, rubbing her cheek against his chest. “I would like that. It gives me hope for the future; that I will have a future.”

“You will have a future, Ellie. We will have a future together.”

“Also, it will give you and Robert something to do besides watch me sleep.”

He laughed. “I will never tire of watching you. Besides, Robert and I have already started writing up the agreements.”

“You have? When did you do that?”

“The first night you were here.”

“You hadn’t even asked me to marry you yet!”

He smiled and brushed his lips across her hairline. “Yes, but I had obtained Robert’s permission to ask for your hand. We had to agree on the settlements.”

“And what agreement did you come to?”

“That you will come with St. Catherine’s which we shall hold in trust for our eldest daughter, and 12,000 pounds which I would also like to put in a trust to be divided among any other children upon their marriages. Of course, our eldest son will become earl and inherit Castle Howard, but I would like to give all of our children the opportunity to marry for love, rather than money, the way their parents did.”

 “You mean you are not just marrying me for my money?”

“I would love you if you were the poorest ragseller in the market.”

She giggled. “You lie, but you are sweet.”

“I am marrying you because I cannot imagine a day where I would not want your visage to be the first thing I see in the morning and the silk of your skin the last thing I feel at night.”

She giggled and the sound brought peace to Henry’s heart. “You speak as if you expect us to share a bed after we are married.”

“I do.”

It took her a few seconds to respond. “I did not…I mean, I am surprised by that. It is not the fashion.”

“You will have your own rooms, and you may sleep there whenever you wish to be rid of me because of some egregious error I have committed. But I would have you know that I will always want you to be in my arms, like you are now.”

She looked up at him, her eyes wide with wonder at the mysterious tone his voice had taken on. It was as if he was speaking two languages at once, layered over each other. She could understand one of them, but the second added hidden portents of which she could only guess the barest outlines of meaning. The way he was looking at her was a Rosetta Stone though, and her understanding immediately unfurled.

When she didn’t avert her gaze, he slid his hand up her back and cupped the nape of her neck, his fingers knotting themselves into her hair. He lowered his mouth to hers and gently kissed her. It seemed like a lifetime since he had kissed her instead of only the day before. Her lips were just as soft as he had remembered. Excruciatingly aware of their position in her bed, he pulled back but she leaned into the kiss and refused to let him go so quickly. He spread his hand over the smooth linen of her gown and found the small of her back, pressing her gently against him, the hand position reminding him of the waltzes they had had, even though everything else about this moment was so different.

She curled her fingers into his shirt front as he leaned back into the kiss. She didn’t know how to respond as his mouth moved over hers. The small repeated motion of his lips, gentle and coaxing, maddeningly relaxed her completely while making every part of her body vibrate with energy. The scent of him, his cologne and his skin, wreathed invisibly around her, wrapping her in an embrace as intimate as his arms. He pressed his lips a little firmer against hers and her lips parted slightly. To her own complete surprise she heard herself making a soft little sound in her throat. She flushed with embarrassment but then Henry made an answering groan as he felt the moistness of her parted lips against his, and she was bewildered to find that her entire body instantly felt fevered as the noise echoed in her mind.

“Damn it, Henry. Am I going to have to fight you over my sister’s honor now?”

Henry looked back over his shoulder to see Robert closing the door behind him. He reluctantly loosened his grasp on Ellie, who had buried her face in her hands.

“My mother insisted I come down here and challenge you for impugning Elizabeth’s honor. I thought she was over-reacting, but now, maybe,” his voice trailed off as he started laughing. “God, man, it’s a good thing I’m the one who walked in on you and not my mother. She would have beaten you round the head and shoulders with a chamber pot.”

Henry laughed in response. “She probably would have.”

“Seriously though, I think it’s better for everyone involved if you go back to sitting in the chair.”

Henry sighed and nodded. “Yes, I think you are correct.”

He kissed Ellie on the forehead and climbed out of the bed, feeling bereft as he tucked the blankets back around her and adjusted her pillows so she would be comfortable. She reached for his hand and intertwined her fingers with his as he took his seat at the edge of her bed.

Robert shot him a knowing scowl as he went to the other side of the bed to check Ellie’s pulse. After about thirty seconds he said, “Well, her heart rate is definitely elevated from before. Of course, I’m not sure if that’s just from her recent exertions.”

Henry had the good grace to look embarrassed as Robert relaxed into his chair, kicking his feet up on the foot of the bed.

“So, what should we talk about?”

“Robert, how do I get Mother to be happy for me and Henry?”

“Well, Henry should probably,” he started, but was interrupted by a knock at the door.  He looked around. “Where’s Victoria? I thought I sent her in here.” He got up and answered the door himself.

“Begging your pardon, but I need to speak to his lordship.” It was Mrs. Parker.

Henry turned to see who it was. “Come in, what is it?”

“I have some information regarding the situation you discussed with me earlier.” She looked uneasily at Robert.

“It’s fine, you can talk in front of him.” He gestured for Robert to shut the door.

“I sent my assistant cook out to the gardens to get peppermint to make tea for the lady, and when she came back she started the leaves to steep, but it smelled funny to me. When she went out of the kitchen, I checked to see what was in the pot. Some of it was peppermint, but some of it definitely weren’t. I don’t know what they are, and now I can’t find her at all. She should be in the kitchens, but she definitely isn’t.”

Henry had come to his feet while she was talking. He went to the door, yanked it open and bellowed for Jacobsen.

“Thank you, Mrs. Parker. This is exactly what we needed you to look for. Are any of the leaves still intact?”

“Some of them.”

“Good. Don’t let anyone near them.  Find the head gardener. Ask him to identify the leaves so we know exactly what she was planning. Don’t tell him anymore than absolutely necessary.”

She nodded and scurried from the room.

He turned to Robert. “You ready to ride?”

Robert was already on his feet. “Absolutely.”

Henry stalked out into the hall. Turning to the maid sitting there, he said, “Go to the assistant cook’s room. Find something that would have her scent on it, clothes or bed linens. Bring it to the outside door that leads into the kitchens.” She nodded and bobbed a curtsey and went running. He was about to yell for Jacobsen again when he saw him hurrying down the hall.

“Jacobsen, tell Gareth I need the scent hounds brought round to the kitchen door. And tell the stable master to bring round horses for Robert, George and I, Gareth, him, and as many of his helpers he would trust with a rifle on horseback across rough terrain. Then unlock the gun closets and get the guns ready. Everyone, at the kitchen door in fifteen minutes, ready to go.” Jacobsen nodded and took off back down the hall at a run. This was not the time for quiet dignity.

Robert said, “I’ll go find George,” and left.

Henry went back to Ellie. “I will be back as soon as possible.”

She nodded and tried to smile, but her bottom lip was quivering and her eyes were wide.

“I’ll be safe. I promise. But I need to stop whoever is trying to do this so you can be safe as well.”

“Promise me you’ll be careful.”

“I promise.”

“And don’t shoot her.”

His normally full lips firmed into a thin line. “I’ll try not to.”

“Henry, promise me.” She watched his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallowed.

“I promise.” The words came out across gritted teeth. He could have Robert shoot her if necessary.

“Thank you.”

He leaned down and kissed her firmly. “I will do whatever is necessary to keep you safe. That I promise freely.”

She caressed his cheek. “I will miss you while you are gone.”

He held her hand against his face for a moment. “Sleep. Sleep and I shall be back before you awaken.” He kissed her fingertips and left.


	19. Chapter 19

Robert stalked across the lawn to where people were gathering as he finished pulling on his riding gloves. The sound of dogs barking floated up the hill as Henry paced restlessly, crunching the gravel under his boots. The area outside the kitchen door that was usually reserved for loading and unloading deliveries had gathered a small crowd of servants watching curiously as grooms calmed horses that were fidgeting in the tense atmosphere.

“Which one is mine?” Robert asked.

“This one, my lord,” said a woman’s voice with a bit of a French accent. One of the grooms holding a set of reins in each hand held out a pair to him.

He took the reins and looked the horse in the face. Stroking the star blaze on the muzzle, he said, “I wasn’t aware Carlisle had a female groom.”

“I’m not, my lord. I’m the assistant falconer. I just have a better seat than my lord’s grooms do and a better shot, too.”

He looked at her in curiosity. Her long blonde hair hung in a utilitarian braid down her back. A plain green blouse was tucked into a long full skirt, which was actually split into pantaloons to allow her to ride astride. The only oddity about her was the leather armguards she was wearing, he assumed from her time in the mews.  Even so plainly attired and groomed, she was very pretty and held herself elegantly aloof from the hubbub around her. “You seem very sure of yourself.”

“I wasn’t always an underfalconer, my lord. There’s a reason Williamson fetched me for this ride.”

“Very well. I look forward to seeing you demonstrate your ability.” He vaulted up into the saddle to get a feel for how nervous the animal was just as Gareth arrived with a pack of fox hounds.

Henry met him coming up the way. “Tell me they can track something other than fox.”

“Aye, my lord.”

Henry gestured to the maid he had sent up to the assistant cook’s room. She hurried forward and handed him the bed sheet she had been holding.

“This is from her bed. Will this work to start them?”

“Aye.” Gareth took the sheet from him.

Henry stood in the center of a hurricane of activity. Jacobsen was getting the rifles distributed, and each rider was checking the weapon and then stowing them in the saddle scabbard. Kitchen maids were handing out packets of food which were getting stowed in saddlebags. Mrs. Parker came hurrying up to him.

“I took the pot out to the garden and the gardener said that Mary had mixed monkshood in with the peppermint.”

“Is that bad?”

“It’s wolfbane, sir. That amount would kill someone in agony.”

“Why the hell are we growing it in the garden then?”

“The flowers are very pretty, sir. You’re not supposed to  _eat_  it.” She looked at him like he was daft.

Henry shook his head.  The ability of his garden to kill people was a matter for a future date. Scanning the crowd, he found the chestnut thoroughbred that he had claimed as his personal horse, being held by one of the grooms.

“You ready for a run, Rex?” He stroked the horse’s muzzle. “I don’t think I’ve seen you in the stables before,” he said to the groom. “What is your name?”

“Océane Bellanger.”

He actually looked at the groom and realized she was indeed a woman. He was so focused on tracking down Ellie’s assailant that he hadn’t noticed her elegant carriage or the way she stood apart from everyone else, making a sea of calm in the midst of an ocean of turmoil. “You’re the falconer’s daughter.”

“Yes.” She twisted her long braid around her head and tucked it up under a cap like the other grooms were wearing.

No wonder she didn’t have the manner of someone who had grown up in a trade. “I’m sorry about the circumstances that brought you here.”

“Thank you, my lord.

“How did you get drafted into holding my horse for me?”

“I brought up Rex and a horse for Lord Standford as well as my own. I’m riding with you.”

“Is that wise?”

Her smile was polite though her eyes were cold. “I can ride better than every groom out here, and quite possibly your brother and friend.”

“And me, lady? Do you ride better than me?”

“I would never claim such a thing, my lord. I know my place.” Rex sidled sideways towards one of the mares and Henry had to rein him back under control. “As does my horse,” she pointedly added.

She definitely wasn’t suited to a life of service. Not with that attitude. It would be like trying to make Ellie into a servant. “And which horse are you riding, Océane?”

She pointed to a gray stallion that was calmly standing on the edge of the crowd.

“That’s the animal you’re riding? Why haven’t I seen him in the stables before?”

“You misunderstand. He’s  _my_  horse. I brought him with me.” She whistled and the grey approached and whickered softly. “This is Cendres.” He stood half a hand higher than Rex.

“Very well. If you can ride that beast, you’re welcome to join us.”

He vaulted up into the saddle. Gathering the attention of the others, he called out, “This will be a bit different than most hunting trips. We’re looking for a woman, Mary, the assistant cook. We think that she has been attempting to harm one of the guests here.” He wanted to say that she had been attempting to harm his fiancée, but stopped himself. That wasn’t common knowledge yet, and he felt reticent to share that information freely now. “You have all been given rifles. You are not to shoot unless expressly ordered by me. I do not expect that to be necessary, but I prefer to be prepared. Our goal is to bring her back here and turn her over to the proper authorities. Any questions?”

There were none. He nodded to Gareth who held the sheet out to the dogs, letting them all get a good scent memory as the rest of the riders climbed up into the saddles. With a single command, Gareth sent the dogs out to seek the trail. Henry got increasingly frustrated as the first trail the dogs found headed to the kitchen gardens and then the dogs followed it into the flower gardens. Monkshood was surprisingly pretty for being so deadly.

Finally, the dogs twigged to a trail that led out over the lawn towards no easily explainable destination. Feeling that this was the trail that would lead them to their prey, Gareth blew the horn and the dogs took off with a howl following the scent across the open grass. Henry kneed Rex into action and they all set off after the hounds at an easy canter.  He groaned as he realized the dogs were heading right to the river. He hated riding wet. The horses came to a halt at the edge of the waterway as the dogs crossed. They would let the dogs pick up the scent on the other side before they crossed to avoid confusing them with all the additional scents.

The horses paced restlessly as the dogs swam across the river. They knew they were out for a hunt and didn’t want to stop so soon. Henry was watching the dogs paddle across when he noticed one of them having trouble keeping up with the pack and drifting down stream. He was about to point the animal out to Gareth when he realized the dog in question was Lilly. She must have gotten out of the kitchen and decided to join all the other dogs on an adventure. He dismounted and stripped off his coat and left it on his saddle before wading into the river to fetch his dog. “Lilly,” he called, “come here.”

Lilly turned and saw him and stopped trying to cross the river. She tried paddling against the current to get to him, and a few seconds later, Henry grabbed the wet pup and hauled her out of the water. “Silly animal. You’re not supposed to be out here.” Lilly showed her vehement disagreement by vigorously licking his face. He waded back to the shore under the amused looks of all the other riders. Robert and George actually had their hands across their faces to hide their laughter. He set Lilly down on the shore and she shook herself with abandon, spraying him and the nearby horses with water.

“Okay, Lilly, go home.” The puppy just looked up at him. “Go home!” He pointed up the hill at the house, but Lilly just continued to look at him, her wiggly tail making her entire hind section shake with excitement. At that moment, Gareth sounded that the dogs had picked up the scent. Sighing in resignation, he picked Lilly up. “Come on, dog.”

He tucked Lilly in one of his saddlebags and quickly fastened the flap back so that she could see out, before climbing back into the saddle. He donned his jacket and followed the other riders across the river. Mary had waded considerably downstream before she had exited the river, and once Rex had forded the river he kneed his horse into a trot. The dogs were heading in a straight line towards the forest, their howls splitting the air as the horses’ hooves shook the earth behind him. Henry had missed this feeling. He had made so many plans for this house party and this woman had destroyed them. He was going to take Ellie out riding and let her ride at a gallop. He was going to take her out flying falcons. He was going to waltz with her at the ball that he was having in three days. At this point he just wanted to cancel it. The idea of attending a ball without being able to dance with Ellie seemed torturous. He wanted to tell everyone to go home and leave her with him to care for her. There were so many things he should be doing, and he wasn’t doing any of them. He had wanted this week to be the perfect start to their life together, and it had all gone so drastically wrong. 

He looked over his shoulder to see if Lilly was okay and laughed at the sight of the puppy’s ears flapping in the breeze as her head stuck out of the saddlebag. “We’re going to go get the lady who is hurting your mummy, okay?” Lilly yipped like she understood what he was saying. They were soon in the trees, and the dim light meant slow going for the horses as they were forced to feel for each step. Mary didn’t seem to be following a path, instead choosing to pick her way through the forest. The closed canopy overhead didn’t let through any view of the sun, and he wondered how she was keeping from getting lost. He wasn’t sure how long they had been in the forest when he heard the dogs call. They had found their target. He kneed Rex forward and hurtled towards where he could hear the dogs ahead. They had found Mary and had her surrounded with her back up against a big oak.

Harry looked down at her from his horse. He hadn’t known what he had expected to find, but this young woman wasn’t it. She couldn’t be more than a few years older than Ellie, though she lacked Ellie’s finesse and elegance. She was just a standard, if prettier than normal, assistant cook. Nothing about her set her apart as someone you would suspect of attempting to poison a stranger. Henry admired her for showing no fear, even surrounded by men with guns. She wasn’t begging for forgiveness or mercy or to be protected from the dogs. She just waited, her face twisted with bitterness.

“Why?” He wanted to know what could motivate this person to attack Ellie, both out of professional curiosity and a need to prevent any such future attacks.

“Because she doesn’t deserve this life.”

“What life?”

“The life of a countess. She’s done nothing to earn it.”

“You could say the same thing about me, and yet as far as I know, you haven’t attempted to end my life.”

“Yes, but you’re not my sister.” She spat noisily on the ground.

“What do you mean? Lady Elizabeth is not your sister, and I should think one would be less likely to poison a sibling, not more.”

“She’s my half-sister. My mother was a kitchen maid in Standford, and the lord forced himself on her. She was let go without references when it was found out that she was with child.” Henry looked at Robert in surprise, but Robert didn’t seem to be particularly surprised by her story.

“Do you know what life is like for a sixteen year old girl with a bastard child? We lived on charity and whoring, and my mother started me in service when I was nine. For those nine years I lived in the village at Standford and I saw the Lady Elizabeth all the time. Every time I saw her she was in a new dress, and her hair was always done in curls, and she had a gold bracelet even as a little girl. She never even knew who I was, but I hated her.”

 “Coming here to work in service was a blessing,” Mary continued. “Even as a scullery maid, my life was better than it had ever been before. I worked my way up. I had a place here. I had a position. And she just walked in here and was going to rule over me again? It were not going to happen. She had taken my life and my home once. I were not going to let her do it again.”

Henry’s eyes narrowed at her words. “Why did you think she was going to rule over you? There are many female guests here.”

“The servants all know that you’re sweet on her. Letters going back and forth, and you sending her pieces of Lady Carlisle’s jewellery, pieces the lord gave her as gifts, when she doesn’t have a stitch on the modesty or refinement of the late lady, god bless her soul. You’ve been seen kissing her, too. Acting like a common strumpet kissing men out in the way for all to see.”

“You will keep a civil tongue in your mouth or I will remove it from your head.” The words were spit out like venom.

Her jaw clenched with anger, but she stopped talking.

He turned to Williamson. “Bind her, gag her if necessary. Take her to the local constabulary. Record her confession. I will stand witness for an inquest if needed.” He wheeled Rex around. “I don’t want to see her face again. I ride for home.”

Once he worked his way out of the forest, he gave the horse his head and let the wind whipping past him pull the thoughts out of his head and leave them behind on the meadowland. He did not want to think that his courtship had been a matter of gossip amongst the servants, that he had exposed Ellie to vicious rumors about her morality, to damage her reputation for his own pleasure. Maybe her mother had been right. Maybe he really lacked honor where it came to her.

He heeled his horse’s sides, trying to outrun the thoughts racing through his head. He reined his horse onto the road and followed it up to the house. He dismounted, grabbed Lilly from the saddlebag, tossed the reins to a waiting footman, and stormed into the house.

He forced himself to take the stairs to the second floor one at a time, breathing deeply as he went in an attempt to calm his anger. He didn’t want to bring this surging rage with him to her. He had thought that capturing the malefactor would make things better, but now, instead of hating someone else, he just had himself to hate and to doubt. He knocked on Ellie’s door, and when there was no answer, opened it quietly, not wanting to wake her from her sleep. He just needed to see her, to assure her that he was home safe, and that the woman had been apprehended.

The scent of lamp oil was redolent in the dark room and he tripped over something large and heavy as he reached for and failed to find the lamp that should have been sitting on the table. He grabbed a lamp from the hall and came back into the room. His chair had been knocked over. The blankets from the bed were tossed on the floor. The lamp lay shattered on top of them.

Ellie was gone.


	20. Chapter 20

“Jacobsen!” Henry bellowed. “Jacobsen, get up here  _now!_ ”

He stormed out of Ellie’s room and stalked down the hall. “Jacobsen!” He yelled again when he got to the head of the stairs.

How could he have been so stupid? He left her here, alone, unguarded, while he went chasing off after the poisoner himself instead of sending people he trusted after her. He should have at least made sure to post a guard on her room instead of foolishly assuming she would be safe here guarded by the immensity of his home and the sheer number of servants and guests that were about. Those things had not protected her before; why should he have thought they would be sufficient protection now?  He had been arrogant and stupid and caught up in the idea of riding down the miscreant and bringing her to justice. He had wanted to do it himself, to prove to Ellie that he could keep her safe after all, even though everything that had happened here so far pointed to the contrary.

Nothing about the information gathering games he had played for the crown had prepared him for this. It had been much more about finding skeletons in the closets rather than creating the skeleton in the first place. So much of the empire’s work was accomplished by making sure that a particular person knew that you knew their little secret. And there were always secrets.

Inheriting had made his superiors with the service very happy. The title gave him access to a whole new range of potential targets, and the estate would provide him with opportunities to both indulge and provoke the fulfillment of certain predilections so that evidence could be gathered. But he had already been wearying of the game and had resigned his position instead, tired of digging in the metaphorical mud. This was supposed to be his chance to build something rather than destroy it, but he could see his hope for the future crumbling around him.

He saw Jacobsen crossing the foyer to the staircase and started down towards him with Lilly right at his heels. “Ellie is missing,” he bellowed.

“Ellie, my lord?”

“The Baroness of St. Catherine’s,” he said. “The Lady Elizabeth Harcourt. My fiancée.  _Ellie_.”

“Yes, my lord.” Jacobsen’s face was a master class in butlerian expressionless.

“Tell me, Jacobsen, how did a woman get kidnapped from her bed when I have a houseful of servants and guests?”

“I do not know, my lord.”

“That is not good enough. I am not blaming at this moment, I am asking a question.” He took a deep breath, calming the ferocity that coursed through him like a charging stallion. “How would you get an uncooperative woman from the second floor out of the house and off the grounds without being seen?”

“Ah. Let me think.” He paused a moment. “Well, I would imagine one would not use the kitchen exit nor the front entrance. There are too many people about to go through the main living spaces, and there are always servants in the kitchen until much later, and there is always someone stationed at the front door. I would imagine that they would use the servants’ staircase to avoid being seen moving between floors and then perhaps out a secluded window if they couldn’t get to a door. There happens to be a servant’s staircase right next to the lady’s bedchamber.”

“Show me.”

Jacobsen led him to the door and opened it. A plain stairwell led up and down in a grey walled spiral.

“Where does it go?”

“It opens onto the ground floor and then continues down into the servants’ quarters. As for up, the second floor is mostly storage rooms.”

“Does where it opens on either floor get them close to an exterior exit?”

“If they went to the servant’s quarters they would have to go through areas that are always heavily traversed, but the first floor this wing lets out by the vacant chambers of the lady of the house. They would have to-”

That sparked a random thought and Henry interrupted. “How much of the house is vacant? Besides the chambers of the Lady Carlisle. What else isn’t being used right now?”

“Well, the chapel is usually empty. The nursery and associated rooms. And then there are storage rooms that aren’t empty but aren’t entered on a regular basis.”

“Think with me for a moment. This was the first time Elizabeth was left alone since she was made ill. Do you think that they managed to get in, take her, and get out without being seen with so little notice, or do you think that they have had someone in the house watching for an opportunity to take her?”

“The latter seems more likely if their plan depended on her being alone. They would have had to have someone watching and waiting for an opportunity. But, was she alone? Why wasn’t her maid with her?”

Henry remembered that Robert had mentioned Victoria’s absence earlier. In all the commotion over the identity of the poisoner, it hadn’t really occurred to him the potential significance of Victoria being missing. At this point she had been missing for several hours. Robert had been the last one to see her that he knew of.

“Jacobsen, we’re going to do this correctly and very carefully. Lady Carlisle’s life may depend on it. I want groups of three or four posted at every exit. I also want someone posted at every staircase on every floor. If they are moving about, we shall find them. Take the linens from her bed and use them for the hounds. Have them scout the exterior and see if they can find a trail. While they are doing that, we shall search the interior. As soon as Robert and George get back, the four of us will go room to room in the house and ascertain whether or not Ellie or Victoria is being held here.”

“Very good, sir.”

“Oh, and Jacobsen, take Lilly and make sure she gets something to eat and  _doesn’t_  escape again. I had to fish her out of the river, much to the amusement of my brother.” He handed his butler the puppy.

“As you say, sir.”

Fifteen minutes of pacing under the cupola later, George and Robert strolled through the front doors.

“You made good time back, Henry,” George commented.

“Ellie has been taken.”

Robert dropped his gloves. “What?”

“Her room is empty and had been ransacked. Victoria also hasn’t been seen since you told her to go to Ellie’s room. It isn’t clear if she is complicit or a victim. As soon as Jacobsen gets back from stationing servants,” he turned as he saw the man coming down the gallery, “we shall go search the entire building to make sure they aren’t being hidden in here.”

Just as he was done speaking the front door opened again and Hansen came in.

“Perfect timing, Hansen. Ellie’s been taken and we need to search the house for her.”

“You need to see this.” He thrust a newspaper at Henry. Henry took it and read the section Hansen had circled on the page. Looking up at Hansen, he said, “Susannah’s husband died two days ago in a riding accident?”

“Yes, sir. But also note that end part of the notice that says Mrs. Norris has retired to her country home to grieve in private.”

Henry looked up again from where he had been reading. “She doesn’t have a country home.”

“Exactly.”

“Damn it all to hell.”

 “Exactly, sir.”

Henry scrubbed at his forehead with the heel of his hand. “I remember for about three weeks I thought I was going to have a normal life.” He sighed deeply and then he looked at the men surrounding him. “Let’s do this quickly and quietly.”

Jacobsen led them through the main floor of the house. Henry had his pistol drawn, as did Hansen. The five of them quickly opened each door and checked inside. No one thought that they would be in these rooms as they were frequently used, but it was more efficient to check everything as they went. Luckily, all the guests were at dinner. As they came to the end of the wing, Henry was surprised to see Katherine arguing with a footman who was blocking the door to the servant’s staircase.

“Miss Brown, what are you doing here? I thought you would be dining with the rest.”

She smiled faintly. “I’m feeling ill and I thought I would go to my room and lie down, yet this pestilent boy will not let me pass.”

The young man apologized. “I was just following orders, sir. I was told to let no one pass.”

“What are your symptoms?” Robert asked.

“Excuse me, Lord Harcourt?”

“You said you are feeling ill. What symptoms do you have?” Robert snapped at her impatiently. “Are you dizzy? Are you feeling nauseated?”

She blinked several times. “I am with…I am not well, it is a female matter.” She looked pleadingly at George. “I would prefer not to discuss it further with gentlemen.”

“Very well, but I am afraid we cannot let you return to your room,” Henry responded before George could intercede for his wife’s cousin. “You are welcome to lay down in one of the drawing rooms, and we will have your maid come attend you.”

“Why am I not allowed to go to my chamber?”

“Because we have a kidnapper on the loose, and we would not want you harmed.”

“A kidnapper! How dreadfully exciting! Are we all in very much danger?” Henry was horrified at her blatant enjoyment of the proceedings, as if they were a theatre production he had arranged for the amusement of his guests.

“My fiancée, the Lady Harcourt, has been taken. I wish you would show more appropriate decorum for the seriousness of the situation.” She schooled her face to a more solemn mien, but not before a flash of anger lit her eyes and rippled along her pointed jaw.

The moment of barely suppressed rage made Henry suspicious. “My lady, why are you trying to use the servants’ staircase?”

“Be…because it is closer to my chamber, my lord.”

“You had to walk all the way down this way from the dining room, however. Surely it would have easier to just use the main staircase. It was much closer.”

“I must have gotten confused.” Henry saw her eyes widening; not in confusion, but in fear.

“Or you were going to do something, warn someone, and didn’t want to be seen?”

Katherine clutched at the neckline of her dinner gown. “Are you accusing me of being involved with these criminals? How dare you, sir!”

“I dare because I will not trust anyone when it comes to keeping her safe. I will not trust you. Not at all.”

She looked to Henry’s brother. “George, are you going to let him treat me like this?”

George helplessly held out his hands. “What do you expect me to do?”

“You must believe I am innocent of these accusations.”

“Kate, I’m the last one who can testify to your innocence.” George had the good grace to look embarrassed at his words.

“George!” She turned crimson with shame.

“Are you involved in this debacle, Kate?”

Katherine’s chin trembled. “How could you believe that of me? You love me.”

“I never told you that. You can convict me of many things, but not lying to you.”

“This is all very interesting,” Henry broke in, “but can we get back to the point? Miss Brown, I charge you to tell me the truth. If you do not and I find out later that you have lied to me, you will spend the rest of your short life in prison.”

Henry’s icy demeanor finally penetrated through Katherine’s proclamations of innocence and convinced her that she had been caught. “They’re in the nursery. They’re all in the nursery,” she whispered.

“All who?”

“Susannah, Sebastian, Collette, Elizabeth, and Victoria.”

“Is Victoria part of this scheme?”

“No, she recognized Sebastian in the house earlier today. She had to be taken.”

“Have they been hurt?”

“I don’t know!” she cried. “This wasn’t part of the plan.”

“What was the original plan?”

She looked down at the richly patterned rug she was standing on. “I was supposed to kill you, my lord, not Elizabeth.” Her voice was so quiet she could barely be heard.

“Why me?” Henry wanted to know what Susannah had been planning so he could get a better idea of her backup plan.

“Because then George would inherit, and I could control him.”

George bristled in offense. “You could not control me!”

She looked at him in disgust. “You could be led around by your prick by any woman with half a brain.”

“You little bitch!”

“Enough!” thundered, Henry. He stripped off his cravat and gagged the lady with it, and then held out his hand to Robert, who handed his over. Henry bound her hands behind her waist. Over her muffled protestations, he said, “You will stand here until I return. If you do anything, say anything, move from this spot, I am giving my orders to this footman to take one of these pieces of marble statuary and use it to render you unconscious. Do you understand me?”

She nodded, suddenly silent.

“Good.” Turning to the footman, he said, “Use that one.” He pointed to a small statue of a Greek goddess. “I never liked that one.”

He glared at George with a fierceness that would have set lesser men trembling, and even George couldn’t withstand it completely, swallowing nervously and looking away. “Let us all go to the nursery. Be quiet. We want as much of an element of surprise as possible.”

The five men quietly made their way up the stairs and down the hall towards the nursery. Before he opened the door, he asked, “Ready?”

The men nodded and he slowly turned the knob. The door opened into a short hallway with a door on either side, but at the end of the brief passageway it opened into the main nursery. Slumped in a chair with a perfect view of the door was Elizabeth. Her hands were tied together in front of her, and even at this distance, Henry could see that the ropes were cutting into her wrists. Her eyes widened when she saw Henry, and hope mixed with the fear that blanched her face. Susannah was standing behind her, one hand gripping her dark hair, and the other holding a jeweled dagger at the crook of her neck. She wasn’t pressing against the skin, but there were several livid marks against her throat where Susannah had occupied her time by idly scratching the point of her blade back and forth.

“Susannah,” Henry trained his pistol at her chest, “I would say it’s nice to see you again, but we both know that would be a lie.”

Ellie’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “This is your Susannah? But her name’s Suzette.” 


	21. Chapter 21

“Suzette?”

“My friend from school. Apparently she did not die in childbirth after all.”

Susannah laughed as if Elizabeth had just told the most charming anecdote at a fancy tea party. There was nothing about her that suggested she was a conniving villain, except for the dagger in her hand. “You always were so gullible. I always thought it odd that such a conniving little snake like you could be so completely trusting of another person.”

“Why do you call me such names? We were best friends!” Elizabeth’s face twisted with sadness. She’d grown even paler since her abduction, and her eyes and hair had lost their glow. Susannah seemed smaller than he remembered, as her memory had outgrown her delicate frame. Ellie looked weak and frightened next to the vibrant woman.

“We were never friends. You treated me, you treated all of us like your playthings, like grown up dolls who could dress themselves. You loved putting us through our paces, encouraging us to develop an affection for one of the young men and then you would take him for yourself. You always had to show us that you were the best; that no matter what the rest of us did, you had every man in that town at your beck and call. You always had to be better than the rest of us. So I spun you a story that Edmund got me pregnant. You remember Edmund, right? You so enjoyed dancing with him after he and I got engaged. You loved to make him go fetch you an ice when you were done waltzing with him. You always took him for the waltzes. We were engaged and he never once waltzed with me. So I did the only thing I knew to make him choose me over you. I let him bed me. It didn’t matter. The next time we were all together, he paid more attention to you than me.”

She traced her knife along Elizabeth’s neck, pushing hard enough to just break the skin. Little beads of blood bubbled up along the curved cut in a garish mockery of Snow White. Henry involuntarily stepped forward and Susannah glared up at him. “One step further and I will spill more than a few drops, Henry. Be a good boy and put your pistol down and slide it over here. You too, Harcourt.”

The men hesitated and Susannah ran the knife along Elizabeth’s throat again, pushing hard enough that a trickle of blood dripped down her throat. Henry slowly knelt and placed his weapon on the floor and slid it down the hall. Robert did the same. Sebastian, who had been lurking behind Susannah, darted forward and grabbed both of the pistols and then retreated behind Susannah again. Collette remained in the corner, sitting in a rocking chair and watching all of them with cold eyes.

“Do you remember how much money you gave me when I told you I was pregnant and leaving the city? I still have that pearl necklace you gave me to pawn. I think I wore it the night we first made love, Henry. Do you remember that night? How you told me you loved me, Henry?”

The look in Elizabeth’s eyes changed from pleading to disbelief to pain as he didn’t make any move to deny Susannah’s statements. Henry closed his eyes, not wanting to see any more hurt on Elizabeth’s face, especially hurt he had placed there..

Susannah looked down at Elizabeth, a vicious smile on her face. “Surely you didn’t think he was as pure and innocent as you claim to be, Ellie,” she said with a sneer. “And I really should thank you. You were the one who taught me how to manipulate men and get them to do whatever I wanted from them. All I had to lose was any sense of morality or compassion. So thank you,  _dear friend_. Thank you for teaching me how to bring Henry crawling to my bed. If you do survive this, you have much to look forward to. Even compared to all your other lovers, he is possessed of quite an embarrassment of riches, and they aren’t all monetary.”

“I have never taken a lover, Suzette, though I start to suspect that I am the one person in this room who can claim that.” Her voice held a vigor completely absent in her body.

“You lie all you want,  _mon ami_ , if it makes your wicked little heart feel better.”

“I’m telling the truth. Again, perhaps the only person in here who does.” Her words broke at the end as she choked back a sob and then gasped for air.

“You always did think you were better than everyone else. Is that why you sent me so much money? To assuage your guilt at luring away the intended of your so-called friend, to the point where he would desert her in her hour of need?”

“You weren’t even with child!” She coughed and raised her bound hands to her mouth to stifle the sound.

“Ah, but neither of you knew that. It didn’t make a difference.”

“Maybe he refused to acknowledge the child was his because there was no proof that he was the only man you had taken to your bed.” Henry could hear her weakening, struggling for breath every fifth or sixth word.

Susannah smacked Elizabeth in the side of the head with the pommel of her dagger. “Now, hush, my lovely. You can just be quiet now. This is a discussion between the grown-ups.”

Elizabeth’s head lolled to the side from the force of the blow. Henry lurched forward but Susannah pressed the tip of the dagger to Elizabeth’s throat and he stopped.

“Now, let’s get down to business. You have a choice, my dear Henry. Me or Elizabeth. Choose me, marry  _me_ , and I’ll let her go. I’ll even let you keep her as a mistress. Set her up in a house in one of the local villages. But  _I_  will be the Lady Carlisle, and you will keep me happy, in bed and out of it. And I will keep you  _happy_. You know how good I am at keeping you happy. I know those aren’t memories someone easily forgets, are they, darling?”

Elizabeth’s eyes sagged shut as she coughed again. She lifted her hands but couldn’t get them all the way to her mouth this time. “And if I choose Elizabeth?”

“I’ll give her to you.”

Elizabeth’s eyes flew open. “You’ll give her to me,” he repeated in disbelief.

“In pieces.”

Elizabeth was still dazed from the blow to the head, but even she could see the jut of his jaw intensify.

“If you harm her, I will kill you.”

“Ah, ah, ah, you know that’s not true.” She pressed the dagger tip harder against Elizabeth’s throat and a new trickle of blood dripped down her throat. “I’ve already harmed her, and you’re just standing there like the hapless helpless man that you are. You know you couldn’t bring yourself to hurt me. You love me, remember? Even after I turned down your proposal, you still pursued me.”

The gun blast was deafeningly loud in the enclosed space.

Susannah’s blood splattered against the back of Elizabeth, forming a macabre silhouette on the floor in front of her. Susannah slumped to the floor, a significant portion of her face destroyed by an exit wound.

Sebastian stood with an outstretched pistol in his hand, smoke issuing from the barrel. “Oh do be quiet, sister,” he yelled at the screaming Collette, who covered her mouth with her hand in terror. Henry  couldn’t tear his eyes from Elizabeth who was valiantly trying to keep from being ill. Her own blood was now mixed with Susannah’s, and she couldn’t tear her eyes from the blood splatter on the floor in front of her.

“Come in, and bolt the door behind you. I suspect even your servants couldn’t be so idiotic as to miss the sound of a gun discharging in the house.”

Jacobsen did as he was told. As the men slowly walked into the main room, Sebastian kept a pistol to Elizabeth’s head. “Women are so annoying with their incessant ‘love me, choose me, I need to be the important one’ nagging. I’ll make this easy for you. You give me twenty thousand pounds, and I’ll give you back Elizabeth. Give me another five and I’ll give you my sister.”

“Excuse me,” Jacobsen said, his voice shaking, “I’m afraid this excitement has been a bit much for my heart. Would it be acceptable for me to sit in that chair?” He pointed to a wooden chair tucked into the corner near where Victoria was tied and sitting on the floor.

Sebastian looked at him as if he were a dog that had dared to speak. “Fine.”

Jacobsen shuffled over to the chair and slowly sat. Sebastian turned his attention back to Henry. “Do we have a deal?”

“Yes.”

Elizabeth looked up at him in surprise.

“See, isn’t it easier when two gentlemen do business? So much easier than getting the ladies involved.”

“How do you propose we do the exchange?”

“I am going to take Elizabeth and leave. You, and you alone, will meet me at the York train station, in two days’ time, with a satchel containing twenty thousand pounds. You hand me the satchel, and I will hand you Elizabeth, and you will never see me again.”

For the second time in what seemed like so many minutes, the report of a gun coughed loud in the room. Henry looked up in shock to see Jacobsen holding a pocket-sized pistol in his hand. “Never let the enemy behind you. That man was a fool.”

Henry stood in stunned silence for a second before he rushed to Elizabeth. Sebastian’s body had crumbled to the floor and sprawled lifelessly over Susannah’s corpse. Elizabeth was shaking, the second set of blood splatter overlaying the first on the floor in front of her like a smudged stencil. He knelt in front of her. “You’re safe, Elizabeth. You’re completely safe.” He quickly untied the ropes that were binding her wrists and started rubbing the blood back into her hands. She wasn’t responding to him but was still trembling. Her eyes were fixed on something distant and unseen.

“Ellie!” he called louder, wondering if her hearing had been temporarily affected by the blasts from the gun.

She shifted her head a bare fraction of an inch but she focused on him.

“You’re safe. No one else is going to hurt you.”

“I’m going to be ill.” Even just a few inches away, he could barely hear her.

“Please fight it. I don’t know if your heart could withstand you being ill again.” He brushed her hair back from her face and his hand came away sticky with blood.

She slowly arose from her chair. “It has withstood so much already today.” She brushed past him as if he were a ghost and passed out into her brother’s arms. Robert caught her and looked helplessly at Henry.

“Take her to her rooms. I’ll have a bath readied for her.”

He turned to Jacobsen who had unbound Victoria and was just finishing tying up Collette’s hands. “George, Hansen, you’re going to take the lady here to the village and turn her over to the constable. They will have to send someone up here to recover the bodies too. He is going to tire of my choice in associates very soon, I am afraid. I’ll have Jacobsen send a carriage around to the front and you can take Miss Brown with you.”

Hansen took Collette by the arm and started escorting her from the room. “Suzette was right about Elizabeth, you know,” she said to Henry. “She always did have to be the center of attention. It didn’t matter what was going on, she always had to be the queen.”

Hansen yanked her out the door and George followed, looking back apologetically at his brother.

Henry shook his head, the adrenaline that he had been running on for the last several hours suddenly abandoning him. He was exhausted.

He turned to Victoria. “Ma’am, are you alright? Were you harmed?”

“No, sir. Just scared. I fear I shall not sleep well for weeks.”

Henry smiled. “I do not think any of us will be sleeping well for the next while.”

After she had left, he turned to Jacobsen. “Where did you learn to shoot like that?”

Jacobsen was back to his usual implacable self, the sudden heart problems long forgotten. “Featherstone, I presume?”

Henry’s jaw dropped slightly and then he rubbed tiredly at his eyes. “Tell me, Jacobsen, are all butlers agents of the Queen, or am I just special?”

“I’m really not at liberty to say, sir.”


	22. Chapter 22

Henry trudged up the stairs. He’d spent the last hour reassuring his houseguests that they were safe. Indeed, as Sebastien had predicted, the gun shots and screaming had been heard, and when the guests left the dining room to investigate, finding Miss Brown tied up at one end of the hallway and multiple servants posted at every exit had left them all in a flutter. Descending the stair case while wiping blood off of his hand onto his white shirt had not helped settle their nerves. “Lady Harcourt, Elizabeth wishes to see you in her room.”

“Has she relapsed again?”

“There has been a setback, but don’t be too alarmed. Your son still expects a full recovery.”

The dowager marchioness flew up the stairs with a speed that belied her age. Henry wanted her out of the way before he discussed all that had happened with the rest of the guests. Let Robert explain things to the woman. He had more experience dealing with her than he did.

It had taken over an hour to explain in an abbreviated fashion what had happened since Elizabeth had taken ill at the croquet tournament the previous afternoon. It seemed impossible that so much had happened in such a short of amount of time but he assured their guests of the safety and informed them that an investigation into what had happened would be taking place over the next few days, and that their cooperation would be appreciated. Under the circumstances, he regretfully informed them, he was cancelling the ball he had planned in two nights’ time but that the other activities he had planned for their time together would go forward.

Having finally fulfilled his obligations to his guests, he was now on his way to check on Elizabeth. He got to her bedroom door to find Lilly curled up with her nose pressed to the seam of the door. He picked up the mournful puppy, which looked about as somber as he felt, and knocked on the door to her bedchamber. Robert opened it and came out into the hall, shutting the door behind him.

“How is she?”

“She’s sleeping, finally.” Robert looked as exhausted as Henry felt.

“Can I see her?”

“No.”

Henry took half a step back. “Why not?”

“She said she doesn’t want to see you.”

Henry’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Why not?”

“Why do you think? Her maid had to change the bathwater three times to get all the blood out of her hair, she finds out that you’ve asked another woman to marry you before, that you had sex repeatedly with that woman, a woman who she thought was her best friend and also thought was dead, she’s had her life threatened, been poisoned, and I think she’s starting to wonder if being in love with you is worth the constant danger to her life and her heart.”

“I need to talk to her.” He attempted to brush past Robert but the man blocked his way to the door.

“No, you need to leave my sister alone.” Robert grabbed Henry’s arm and forcefully walked him back down the hall. “She’s hurt, she’s sick, she’s wounded body and soul, and right now you’re the cause of that. I’m not going to let you hurt her anymore, Henry. If she decides that she wants to talk to you, I’ll come get you, but until then, leave Elizabeth alone.”

“Robert, please, I can explain.”

“No. I’m honoring her wishes in this. It’s not just your past that has hurt her. She’s dealing with the realization that her best friend from school was a liar and a con, and that the girls she thought were her friends didn’t actually like her. Apparently, before we showed up, Collette and Susannah or Suzette or whatever her name actually was took a great deal of joy in telling her about all the nasty things people thought about her in school. She’s hurting, Henry, and she needs some time to herself, and you need to respect that.”

Henry swallowed back the anger surging in his throat. “Very well.” He nodded stiffly. “If she needs or wants anything, anything at all, all my resources are at your disposal. I will tell the staff to treat her wish as though she were Lady Carlisle in reality and not just in my heart. Please tell her I love her, and I’ll wait for her as long as might be required.”

Four days passed. The investigation was conducted with circumspection and speed. Mary, Collette and Katherine all confessed, hoping for mercy in return for their cooperation. All three were expected to be sentenced to prison terms. Jacobsen was found to be acting legally in defending the home against an intruder. The rest of the guests left. Lilly was his constant companion as the two waited for Elizabeth to ask for their company again.

Henry was feeding Lilly bits of bacon and scrambled egg from the breakfast table when Robert entered the room.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you, Carlisle, but I was wondering if it would be possible for my sister to stay here for at least another week, as well as my mother and I. I think it would be beneficial for her to rest more before she attempts the long journey home to Standford.”

Henry gestured for Robert to join him at the table. Relations between the two friends had been strained since Henry had been barred from Elizabeth’s presence. “She does not return to London for the rest of the season?”

“No. She finds she does not have much desire to be in society right now.” Robert sat gingerly on the edge of a chair.

“Of course. My home is open to all of you for as long as you may desire or have need of it. Please eat. You must be tired from constantly tending to her needs.”

Robert got back up and helped himself to the dishes on the side table. “Not so much tired as just restless. She still sleeps most of the day, but her heart rate is doing better. Her sleep is calmer as well. She had nightmares the first few nights after… Yes, well, I think she is recovering. Victoria tried to do her hair yesterday and it tired her to sit up for that amount of time.”

“Would you like me to have books sent up? Or anything else for your entertainment?”

“I might have to raid your library. Let me take the dog up to her. I think she will be glad of a little amusement the next time she wakes up.”

“Of course. Lilly will be glad to see her mistress again.”

Robert held a piece of bacon out to the dog and Lilly happily traded laps. “I asked her if she wanted to see you and she said, ‘Not yet.’”

Henry ran a hand through his hair. “That’s better than ‘No.’”

“She needs more time. For all of her education and years on the Continent, I think she managed to somehow stay dreadfully naïve about the true nature of the world until this last week.”

Henry rested his head in his hands. “I wish with all my heart that I could have kept her innocence intact.”

“Are you sleeping, Henry? You look almost as bad as she does.” He reached for Henry’s wrist but Henry yanked it away.

“When I close my eyes I see Susannah with a knife to Ellie’s throat. Or I see Ellie’s hair sticky with blood or passed out in your arms.”

“I’ll put together something for you this evening so you can sleep. I don’t want you to slip into a consumption right as Elizabeth recovers.”

“That would be appreciated.”

Robert finished eating and retired to Elizabeth’s chamber, taking Lilly with him. The puppy made regular journeys between Elizabeth and Henry over the next four days, with Robert ferrying the dog along with updates about Elizabeth’s health. At least he was sleeping again, whatever Robert had concocted working as well as could be hoped. On the afternoon of the eighth day, he looked up from his desk in the study and saw Elizabeth walking slowly across the lawn, holding on to Robert’s arm.

Dismissing his steward and scooping up Lilly from where she was demolishing a ham bone under his desk, he said, “Let’s go see if your mummy wants to talk.”

He put Lilly down once they got out on the lawn, and she took off running for Elizabeth and Robert. The serenity of the view was shattered as songbirds took noisy flight in response to Lilly’s conquest of the garden. Henry watched as Robert picked up the dog and held her for Elizabeth to pet. Elizabeth looked towards him and smiled, though it seemed to take effort. He took that as permission to approach. He could see Robert say something to her, and she answered with a slight shake of the head.

“Lady Elizabeth, Standford,” he bowed, suddenly feeling exiled from their previous friendship. He could not stop looking at the livid red marks on Elizabeth’s throat. It hurt him to see those marks on her delicate skin.

“Carlisle,” Robert replied solemnly. He then grinned. “My mother returned to London this morning. I don’t think she quite shook the dust from her feet as she left, but almost. But at least we need not stand on formalities with just the three of us.”

Henry felt as though he could not relax. “It relieves me to see both of you enjoying the air today. You have been so long enclosed.”

Elizabeth covered the scars on her neck with one hand and Henry blinked a few times, realizing that he had been staring. “Yes, my lord. It has been a slow recovery, but I felt that if I spent one more day in my chamber, I should go mad from the boredom,” Elizabeth answered quietly.

All of their attention was suddenly diverted by Lilly barking wildly. “I think I shall go see what that dog is up to,” Robert said. “If you will escort Elizabeth over to those chairs? I do not want her overexerting herself and causing her to relapse.”

Henry extended his arm and Elizabeth gingerly took it. They walked slowly to a bench and he helped her sit before he sat next to her.

“Did you know that it would be possible for me to see you walking today from the window in my study?”

“I was not aware of that.”

“Are you aware,” he deliberately used her words back to her, “of how distracting your beauty is in the sunshine?”

She didn’t answer, but the pale blush spreading across her cheeks spoke for her.

“Since I wasn’t paying attention to half of what the man said, I sent my steward off for the afternoon, so I have the all the time possible to pay court to you.”  
  
She kept her eyes focused on her folded hands in her lap. “You should not avoid your duties to spend time with me, my lord. I can entertain myself.”

“I do not seek to entertain you. I seek to assure you that I still love you. You have been subjected to so many attacks, both against your body and against your heart in the last while. I want you to know that my love for you has not diminished in the smallest degree. Indeed, I love you now more than I ever have.”

She glanced at him briefly and then looked out over the view. It was the same serene landscape that she had gazed upon the morning she had gotten Colette’s letter. It seemed like it should at least be a different season if not a different year, but everything looked identical to her. She was the one that had changed, not the leaves on the trees or the warmth of the sunlight. “I suppose I should be grateful for your continued fidelity. I wonder at its existence in the face of all that you have learned about me.”

“I have learned that you are strong and lovely and good. You have shown yourself to be a model of womanhood.”

Her lips curved into a frown that seemed very comfortable on her face. “Then you are very bad at your lessons. I am no different than any of the other women in that nursery. The only difference is that I have people willing to charge about on horseback and with pistols, ready to spring to my defense and protection. I hated the barnacle so much and yet I am just like her.”

“The barnacle?” Henry asked, his forehead wrinkling in confusion.

She ducked her head as her face heated with shame. “It is what I called Katherine, because she clung to you so. But did I not do something similar to Edmund? No wonder she cooperated with Susannah. I did not trust myself so much as to hold a croquet mallet in her general vicinity.”

Henry watched as she twisted one of her ringlets mercilessly. Her hair was informally styled with most of it down. She also was wearing no jewelry. It must have tired her to get attired for even a short walk. “If it helps at all, her orders were to kill me, not you,” he tried to reassure her.

Her hand stilled in her hair and her eyes widened. “Wait, Katherine tried to kill me?”

“She put digitalis in your tea.” Henry mentally chastised himself for adding to her grief. The fragile skin under her eyes was already dark without him adding to her burdens.

“I thought that was Mary.”

“No, Mary tried to poison you as well, but my cook realized something was amiss with the tea and stopped her.”

She lurched to her feet and started to pace back and forth. “So, I have a full rogue’s gallery of assailants it seems.”

“It does. And most of it is my fault.”

“Why was Katherine attempting to poison people in the first place?”

“Apparently she had lost several pieces of jewelry at the gambling tables to Susannah, who also knew about her affair with George –,”

Elizabeth stopped pacing and stared at Henry aghast. “She was having an affair with your brother?”

“Yes. And Susannah knew of it and threatened to make that knowledge public if she didn’t cooperate.”

“So, she was supposed to kill you, and then George would inherit and they would do what, kill his wife?”

“I’m not sure how deep the plan ran. Katherine, either as wife or mistress, was supposed to control George for the benefit of her and Susannah. But when Sebastien and Collette arrived on her doorstep, Susannah and Sebastien made a plan to kill her husband, and then force me to marry Susannah.”

Elizabeth sank back down on the bench and was silent for a minute. Absentmindedly she rubbed at the healing cuts on her neck. “I do not think Susannah was well. I don’t remember her being like this when we were friends. Though, I guess we never actually were friends,” she said softly.

“I’m so sorry she subjected you to such a horrible experience.”

“It is nothing less than I deserve. I was horrible to her. I taught her how to use people. It seems fitting that those foul lessons should somehow come back to teach me in the end.”

“You are nothing like Susannah, Lady Elizabeth.”

A note of bitter laughter rang out. “No, but I am. The main difference is that I am alive where she is dead. Dead at my hand as surely as if I had been the one to pull the trigger.”

“You are not a murderer.”

“I know. No court in the Empire would convict me of killing her, but I have convicted myself. I treated her abominably, made her doubt the existence of love, showed her that anything she possessed I could take away from her. I taught her how to be horrible, and set her on the path she was on. If I had been different she would still be alive. And so would her husband and Sebastien and who knows how many other people. I have spent the last week in my bedchambers feeling like Lady Macbeth, trying to get the blood off of my hands even though there is nothing visible.”

“You didn’t kill those people, my lady. They made choices of their own.”

“But I am responsible for my choices as well. I have made many bad choices, my lord. So many awful hateful things I have done. It surprises me to hear you reassure me of your love for me. I do not see how you can have learned my past and still care for me at all.”

Henry clasped her face in both his hands so she would look at him. She shied away from his touch and he let her go. She stared at the grass in front of her and so he simply spoke to her. “Because I remember who you were before you thought your family had deserted you. I remember your mother scolding you for sneaking extra biscuits at tea to share with the scullery maid who lit your fire in the evening.” Elizabeth darted a glance at him and he saw a hint of a smile before she looked away again. “I remember the Christmas where you bought an orange for each of the staff out of your own pocket money. I remember you and your governess having an argument because you gave away the boots you were wearing to a girl in the village who had none, and you had other pairs you could wear.” He took both of her hands and clasped them between his. “And I know the woman you are with me. You are thoughtful and compassionate. You have been a source of wisdom for me. You cared for the staff here before you even met them. I have a past that I have learned from and you were willing to give me a chance to be the man you knew I could be. Your past has taught you lessons as well. I think they will go far in polishing the beauty you already possess, Elizabeth.”

She still did not look at him. “Am I Elizabeth again? No more my lady?”

He had never seen someone so interested in grass before. He gently tipped her face up to his with a single finger under her chin so that her eyes met his. “I would have you be my Ellie but only if you want that as much as I do.” His voice was tender, yet husky with suppressed desire.

“I know not what my place is in your heart.”

“How can you not know my feelings for you? Have I not just now told you I would have you for my own?”

Elizabeth reluctantly pulled her hands free, clasped them in her lap, and then, her eyes searching his, asked, “Did you love Susannah?”

Henry rubbed his hands over his face. How had he not realized this would be an important issue for him. He got to his feet and awkwardly paced as he answered her.

“I do not know how much of this Robert has shared with you, but in the years since I graduated university, I have performed certain services for the crown. I would gather information on various individuals. I was considered ideal for the position because I was young, unattached, and well off, which meant I was invited to fill out guest lists for any affair where they needed men to fill out the numbers.”

“Which meant you got invitations everywhere.”

“Exactly.”

“I was assigned to learn more about Susannah. She had appeared out of nowhere, and in a short matter of time had made quite the impression on society. She seemed to be attached in the gossip to one highly placed man after another, and information that these men knew was showing up in the wrong hands. So I pursued her. I thought I was playing her, but it turns out she was playing me as well. I professed my love for her to keep her interested in me as a confidante. We were getting closer to discovering how she was acquiring the information and to whom she was selling it, but we needed to delay so I asked her to marry me.

“Did you love her?”

He sat down next to her, close enough that the hem of her skirt covered his boots. “No. I never loved her. I admired her skill. She was good at what she did, but she was fundamentally dishonest. She made her living acquiring information and selling it to the highest bidder. I told her I loved her because the role required it, but even the admiration I felt for her was a guttering candle compared to the blazing sun that is my love for you. The depth of what I felt for you a month ago was more than anything I ever felt for her, and my love for you has grown a thousand fold since that day. She was quite pretty, but her hair was not as lustrous as yours, and your skin glows like hers never did, and the arch of her neck never held such fascination for me.” He slowly traced a finger down the side of her throat and across her collarbone.

Elizabeth knew that the proper thing to do would be to look down demurely from this display of his feelings for her, to modestly protest, to make him remove his hand from her skin, but she was mesmerized by his eyes and the fierce honesty that illuminated them.

“You do not need to worry about your place in my heart, Ellie. It is yours, whole and complete, with nothing held back.”

Her eyes drifted to his lips. His face had gotten slowly closer to hers as he had talked.

“I love you, Ellie. Tell me you’ll still marry me.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “Yes, I’ll still marry you.”

His lips closed fiercely on hers as his hands moved up to cradle her face, but he gentled immediately as she froze in surprise. What started as one kiss turned into a chain of slow and gentle touches as his lips moved against hers. Her hands splayed against his chest, as if she was checking to see if he was real and this moment was not just an illusion.

One of his hands slipped behind her head, his fingers splaying against the arch of her neck. The other dropped to her waist, pulling her closer to him. Ellie hesitantly slid her hands up Henry’s chest and around his neck, letting one hand slide into his hair, the curls wrapping around her fingers like silk embroidery floss. She felt the tip of his tongue touch the full center of her upper lip and she gasped in shock. He took advantage of her momentary confusion to dip slightly into her mouth and graze her tongue with his. Ellie cautiously returned the gesture, and moaned softly at the frisson of pleasure that raced down her spine. She wondered what possessed her to make those noises when again she heard Henry’s answering groan, a sound so soft and deep that it echoed in her heart. He kissed her again, their tongues meeting like ripples in a pond and Ellie whimpered in disappointment when Henry suddenly pulled away. She slowly opened her eyes and realized someone was standing on the grass watching them.

“I can’t leave you two alone for five minutes, can I?” Robert was holding Lilly under one arm. “I take it you two have sorted things out?”

Henry murmured an affirmation since Elizabeth had buried her face against his neck in embarrassment. He slowly stroked her back, feeling her gradually relax against him.

“Good. Because your dog is either trying to kiss or kill that peacock of yours, and either way, it won’t end well.” He dumped Lilly in Henry’s lap and then sprawled in one of the chairs. “Now, let’s figure out how to deal with Mother.”


	23. Chapter 23

Late that evening, Henry was sitting at his desk writing a letter to Elizabeth’s mother apologizing for everything he had ever done in his life when there was a knock at the door.  When he called enter, Elizabeth opened the door. He immediately stood up and hurried to rebutton his waistcoat. His cravat was on the desk where it would have to remain. “Elizabeth! I thought you had retired for the evening.”

“I had, but then I decided that I needed to see you again.” She was still in the gown she had worn to dinner, but her hair was already down and she had removed the jewelry she had been wearing. When she stepped into the room, he could see that she was in her stockings instead of shoes.

“I love to see you as well.”

A faint rush of color bedecked her throat and cheeks. “I do not mean like that. I mean that I have something that preys upon my mind and I wish to discuss it with you so I might sleep peacefully. Do you have a moment that we might talk?”

“Of course. For you, anything.” He came out from behind his desk.

“No.” She held out her hand. “You stay over there.” She shut the door softly behind her.

He stopped. “Is something wrong?”

“You need to stay over on that side of your desk because when you get close to me it is difficult for me to say the things that I am thinking.”

His mouth pursed in satisfaction at her admitting the effect he had on her. “And why is that, my love?”

Her eyes narrowed at the playful tone to his words. “You know perfectly well why that is, my lord. It is difficult for me to concentrate when you sit so close and say sweet things in that voice of yours. And you have the very ungentlemanly habit of touching my neck and then all of my thoughts just fly right out of my head.”

He stifled a smile as he returned back to his desk and sat in his chair. “What would you like to talk to me about, my dear Ellie?”

“I have been thinking about the conversation we had this afternoon and I have a question for you.”

“What is that?”

“Your first impulse was to reassure me of your love. I want to know if at any time in the days that we were apart you ever considered that I might not love you anymore.”

He sighed and leaned back in chair. “Part of me feared not for the loss of your love because I don’t believe you are that inconstant once you have given your heart, but that your love might be conquered by fear.”

“How much danger I am in by agreeing to be your wife?”

He stood up and when she backed away he sat on the edge of his desk and folded his hands tightly. “Hopefully none at all.”

“But you cannot guarantee my safety,” she pressed.

“I have done everything I can to assure your safety.”

“Are you still working for the crown?”

“No.”

“I will keep it secret if you are, but I must have your word that you are not.”

“I promise you, Elizabeth. I have retired from my former employment.”

“Hansen and Jacobsen both seem quite handy in a pinch.”

Henry lifted an eyebrow but said nothing and Elizabeth nodded.

“And Jacobsen simply shot a man dead with no hesitation.”

“He was defending you, Elizabeth. He knew that you are my fiancée and he was acting to protect the future Lady Carlisle as much as he was acting to protect Elizabeth Harcourt.”

She pressed a hand to her stomach and took a deep breath before she continued. “And you are used to this kind of…altercation in your line of work?”

“I, myself, have never shot a person. If it was necessary to do so to protect you, though, I don’t think I would hesitate.”

“You sound very confident.”

“I will do my best to protect you. I know that doesn’t seem like much of a promise with everything you have undergone during your stay here, but I will do whatever I can to protect you.”

Elizabeth sighed and sank onto one of the sofas. She had exerted herself more today than she had in a week, and was exhausted from the walk outside and having dinner downstairs. “After all my adventures here it seems the easiest thing you could do to protect me is send me away forever.”

“Please don’t ask me to do that, Ellie. I will if that is what you need, but please don’t ask that of me.”

She toyed with her hair, wrapping a tendril loosely around her finger and letting it endlessly spiral. “Are there other women with reason to brandish weapons at either of us?”

“No.”

“And I doubt I have any other estranged siblings in your staff. I must admit it was a shock when Robert told me that Mary is my half-sister.”

“That is what she claims.” He watched as she walked to the French doors, staring out at nothing at all.

“Robert believes her. He says that Father was not the most chaste man under the best of circumstances, and apparently there are other children as well. He also intimated that this was the main reason that he was so adamant about sending me away. To protect me from Father.”

Henry did not know what to say to comfort her. How do you comfort someone from such a shattering revelation?

“I do not understand this world in which I live. I dance with another woman’s fiancé, and she forms a cabal to have me killed, but men can sleep with whomever they choose with little repercussion from society. Mary is the bastard child of a man who violated his marital vows and is subjected to the cruelties of fortune, Katherine has an affair with George and her attempt to capitalize on that lands her in prison while your brother sleeps soundly in his bed, Susannah believes you when you tell her you love her and is shot in the head, and Collette gets swept into this nasty little plot because her brother wasted her entire fortune on gambling and whores. And Collette went along with this whole plan of Sebastian and Susannah’s because she hated me.” She shook her head in dismay and then turned to Henry.

“I had to be the center of attention for all the young men because I needed to believe that some man somewhere was going to love me, because obviously my brother didn’t and neither did my father to let mother send me away and not raise a word of protest. But why was I sent away? Because my father was a vile man with a predilection for young women. It is not that he did not love me, it is that he loved wrongly.”

She returned to staring out the window. Henry didn’t say anything. She obviously needed to let this all out, to explain to him how she was feeling. He could tell how much pain she was in even without the evidence provided by the tear currently gliding down her cheek. His impulse to go to her and hold her was only held in check by her wish for him not to approach her right now.

Finally she spoke, in a voice that seemed to Henry to be eerily detached from any emotion. “It seems very strange to me, my lord, that I should so easily agree to enter into a relationship with you with such damning evidence against any hope of your future loyalty to me.”

Henry cocked his head to the side as his brow furrowed. “What exactly are you saying, Elizabeth?”

She turned to look at him. The lack of emotion in her voice was more than compensated for in the pain in her face. “How am I supposed to marry you when I can’t trust you?”

“Did you not mean it when you said you loved me?”

“I do love you, but I don’t know if I can trust you. Apparently I am not the first woman you have said those words to, and if they were in truth than you are very intemperate to change what should be the one surest decision of your life, and if those words were a lie, then you are a very skilled liar indeed because she was willing to stake her life and mine on the truthfulness of your declaration. Either way, intemperance or dishonesty, it does not bode well for my future with you.”

He had thought he had explained this to her earlier this afternoon. “I was playing a part. I was doing my duty. It is part of why they chose me, because I was very good at convincing people to like me, to be my friend, to trust me. And do you know how I got so good at that? Because I was an orphan and I had to convince people to be on my side. I had to make my own way in the world because I didn’t have anyone looking out for me, and maybe you spent years wondering if your family loved you but you know now that you have a mother who doesn’t think one of the richest titled men in the country is good enough for her only daughter, and a brother who has sat by your bedside for days to make sure you had the best care possible and every wish of your heart fulfilled. _You_ have family who love you Ellie, and _I_ have a brother that I want nothing to do with. Even more so after these latest revelations as to his conduct.” His hands clenched around the edge of his desk as he tried to crush the frustration rising within him. Yes, she had had a difficult life, but she wasn’t the only one. If she could recognize that she had done things in the past that she had regretted, why couldn’t she extend that same courtesy to him? Playing a game of who had the most unfortunate upbringing wouldn’t help them deal with the situation in which they found themselves now.

Relaxing his clenched jaw into a smile, he continued in a calmer voice. “Robert is more my brother than my own blood, and if you can’t trust me, then trust him, because he has been working for months to get us to fall in love. He chose me for you, because he trusted me to take care of you, to protect you, to love you. So if you can’t believe me right now, believe him.”

“So you have gone from taking orders from the crown to taking orders from my brother when it comes to whom you give your heart?”

“I didn’t take orders from your brother,” he snapped. “But he introduced us again, he kept bringing me with you on those silly outings, he would always find an excuse to leave us alone for a few minutes so that we might get to know each other better and develop a deeper intimacy than what we already had. Has he ever done such a thing for any other man you fancied?”

Elizabeth no longer felt tired. War banners flared in her cheeks as she drew herself up to her full height. “I apologize for inconveniencing you on so many _silly_ outings, my lord. I am sure you had other things you would much rather have been doing with your time. Instead of having a _deeper intimacy_ with me, you could have been having a _deeper intimacy_ with women you had seduced into your arms and into your bed. Tell me, will you expect me to wear a pearl necklace on our wedding night to remind you of her?”

That was quite enough. He surged to his feet and stalked over to her at the window. Grabbing her by the shoulders, he turned her so she was facing him before letting go. “What do you want me to say, Elizabeth? Do you want me to apologize for having every known another woman? I’m sorry. You are bound and determined to be upset with me and that is your right, but I have never acted to harm you. I have a past and there is no way to make it go away, but you knew of the type of shenanigans that Robert and I got into in university and fell in love with me anyway. Is it that you know one of the women I was involved with now and that makes it more real?”

“I have always assumed that you were not…innocent when it came to the ways of the flesh, my lord. Indeed, I would say that it is one of the privileges of upper class men to demand from their women a level of purity that they actively seek to destroy in the women of the lower classes. But,” and here her indignation faltered and her rigid spine gave way to slouching shoulders and a dropped chin, “I did not think you would speak of love to them.”

Ah. This was the crux of the dilemma. “It was my job, Ellie. Nothing more.” He kept his voice gentle.

She looked up at him, and he could see the pain and doubt in her eyes. “But how am I to know that you are not saying it to me out of some ploy as well?”

He restrained himself from touching her, as much as he longed to just draw her into his arms and kiss away any concerns she may have about the veracity of his claims to love her. He knew that was exactly what she didn’t want. “What would I seek to gain from you by confessing my love? If I was looking for someone to warm my bed, I have money enough to buy a different woman every day of the year. If I was looking for someone to run my house, I already have servants who do that for me. You, Elizabeth, complicate my life. You don’t make it easier. I put your needs above my own. You will want to redecorate the drawing rooms and throw parties and you will insist on keeping that peacock. I have gotten you a dog that I had to fish out of the river and who has used the leg of my desk as a teething toy because she makes you smile and I _live_ to make you smile. All of these things I do gladly because I love you and you bring me joy. I love you Elizabeth, and unless you are secretly spying for a foreign nation, please tell me what other reason there could be for me saying those words to you other than that I want you to know that I love you? The only thing I stand to gain from this is you and your love in return, and that is the most precious thing in the world to me. I don’t need your money. I don’t need your title. I just need you.”

She looked at him for a long while before finally ducking her head. “I cannot decide if I believe you or if it just you standing so close to me that overwhelms my better judgment.”

He grinned and then walked back to his desk and sat down. “I love you, Ellie. No matter how close or how far I am from you, you will always have my heart.”

“You really mean that, don’t you?” Her words sounded like they were being choked in her throat.

“Yes. More than I have meant anything else I have ever said in my life.”

She crossed the room to where he was sitting. “If you are lying, I shall have Jacobsen capture the peacock and put it in your bed with you while you are sleeping.” She was suddenly fierce, her eyes flashing as she poked him in the chest.

He captured her hand in his. “I have no problem agreeing to that because I am telling you the truth.”

She took a deep breath and then nodded decisively. “I believe you.”

 

He gently tugged her hand and maneuvered her so she was sitting on his knee. “I have something for you.”

“You do?”

He picked up a small leather-covered box from off of his desk. “I had this made for you, and it arrived today in the late post.”

He held the box out to her and she took it from him. It fit in the palm of her hand.

“Well, go ahead and open it,” he prompted, when she had looked at it unmoving for a minute.

She carefully opened the box. Inside was a gold ring with a large oval sapphire in the middle, surrounded by a halo of smaller diamonds.

“I’m sorry it was not here when I asked you to marry me the first time, or the second,” he smiled, “but I will ask it again. Knowing everything now, will you still marry me?”

She nodded, transfixed by the way the ring glittered in the lamp light.

He took the ring from the box and slipped it on to her finger. “I will always love you, Ellie. Please believe me.”

She stroked his cheek, noticing the way the skin shifted from smooth to rough as her fingers made their way to his jaw. “I do. I believe you and I love you, too.”

He took the box from her and placed it on the desk. “May I kiss you?”

Her breath caught in her throat, but she nodded.

He gently cradled the back of her neck as he pulled her to his lips; his other hand sought out the small of her back and brought her closer. She was less hesitant in returning his affection this time, and her lips parted slightly as he kissed her. She slid her hands over the front of his waistcoat as she wrapped her arms around his neck, letting one hand rest on the back of his head, fingers buried in his hair. The silken strands slipped through her fingers as her other hand rested on his shoulder. She could feel the muscles shift as he tightened his embrace. His tongue touched her lips. She met it with her own, and a little part of her giggled with joy that it was him who moaned first, instead of her. Their kisses were like ocean waves against the shore, meeting and advancing and retreating, but always touching. He nipped softly at her bottom lip, and she gasped softly, but when he raked his teeth along it, pulling it slightly, and then suckling the abused flesh, her breasts heaved as she gasped in surprise at the heated spill of sensation that coursed through her. He pulled back to look at her. Her eyes were wide, her mouth open slightly in surprise, her cheeks brightly colored, and he smiled at the results of his handiwork.

His leaned towards her, and though she thought he was going to kiss her again, his mouth dipped to her neck. Another gasp escaped her mouth at the feel of his lips on her throat, and then she moaned softly in pleasure as his lips traced the line of her neck down to her collarbone. Her evening dress exposed more of her shoulder than the dress she had worn that afternoon, and his lips trailed slowly across the vulnerable skin, leaving a trail of fiery kiss marks that smoldered long after his mouth had moved on. He slowly kissed his way back to her neck, where his tongue flicked out and licked the indentation at the base of her neck. The smooth fabric of his waistcoat crumpled under her nails as she grabbed his shoulder, instinctively arching her head back and opening more of her neck to his caress. He kissed slowly up the other side of her neck to her ear, where he gently tugged her earlobe with his teeth and then kissed it.

He took a ragged breath and leaned back in his chair. “I should escort you back to your bedchamber now, I think.”

She nodded breathlessly, feeling a bit wobbly even though she was sitting down.

They walked silently to her rooms and paused at the door. Ellie leaned back against it, looking up into Henry’s eyes And he kissed her chastely on the lips. “You should go inside before I kiss you again.”

Ellie nodded and fumbled with the handle. The door opened and she backed into the room, not wanting to turn away from the heat in his eyes. “Goodnight, Henry, my love.”

“Goodnight, Ellie, my love.”

She closed the door and fell back against it. She could still feel the heat of his caresses running through her blood, and wondered how his lips would feel against other parts of her skin. A liquid heat pooled in her stomach that urged her to open the door and pull him inside with her, to kiss his throat the way he had kissed hers, to pull his shirt open so she could caress his shoulders. Shocked at the audacity of her thoughts, she let go of the door handle and crossed the room to call for her maid before she could act on them.

Only when Henry heard her leave the door did he leave the hallway outside it. He was too much a gentleman to ask to come inside, but not enough of one to turn down an invitation. He prayed that her mother would agree to a short engagement as he walked back to his lonely study and the papers that awaited him there.


	24. Chapter 24

Henry knocked over his king in defeat and slouched back in his chair. “Well, that’s it Robert. I think you have definitely proven that I have no skill at chess at all.”

“It might help if you actually concentrated on the game instead of staring at my sister.” Robert looked at him balefully.

“We both know that isn’t going to happen.” Henry stood up and crossed the room to where Ellie was sitting on a sofa drawing. She flipped her sketch book closed as he approached. Sitting down next to her, he asked, “What were you drawing?”

“Nothing worth your attention.”

“Can I see?”

She shook her head and clutched the book to her chest. “You wouldn’t want to see my little sketches, Henry.”

“I think you’re wrong about that. Please?” He extended his hand towards her. Reluctantly, she placed the leather volume in his hand.

Still holding on to it she said, “Promise not to laugh.”

“I promise.”

She slowly let go, trailing her fingers over the smooth cover as she left it in his hand.

He opened the cover to see a drawing of Robert reading the paper. “This is in your chamber here. I recognize the chair he’s sitting in.”

She nodded. “I would draw when I got tired of reading. Or sleeping. Who knew you could get tired of sleeping?”

He turned the page and there was a page covered in rough sketches of Lilly in various positions.

“She isn’t good at sitting still yet.”

“I can see that.” He turned the page and stopped as his heart skipped a beat. “That’s me.”

“No laughing,” she warned.

“I wouldn’t dare.” He was sitting at the table in this room playing chess. “That’s not Robert, though.”

“What gave it away, the skirt?”

“She’s also considerably shorter. In fact, she looks like a child.”

“Perhaps my drawing is not as bad as I feared.”

“Who is this?”

“Your daughter. I think someone should teach her to play chess, and I have no propinquity for such a game.”

He reached out to touch the child’s face but then stopped, fearful of smearing it. “ _Our_ daughter.” He looked up at her from the drawing.

She ducked her head, embarrassed at her brazenness in drawing such a thing. “Yes, my lord.”

“I could teach you how to play if you would like, Ellie.”

She wasn’t sure how to take those words. They seemed so innocent on the surface, and yet she didn’t feel that they were underneath. She blushed in her confusion. “I am sure there are many things you could teach me.”

“What would you like to learn?”

She looked up at him, hearing his words and his heart convey two different meanings. “I don’t think I even know the words to ask for what I want.”

“Ellie,” he breathed softly as he leaned in to kiss her. His lips had barely touched hers before something hard hit him in the back of the head.

“What was that?” He looked around and saw a pawn lying on the rug at his feet. Picking it up, he turned to Robert. “You threw a pawn at me?”

“Quit kissing my sister in front of me or I’ll throw the king next time.”

“Robert!” Ellie was scandalized.

Henry cocked his head to the side. “If I remember correctly, you used to be in favor of the idea of me kissing your sister.”

Robert scrubbed his hands through his hair, setting the blond curls awry. “The idea, yes. The actual reality, no.”

“So what, you’re rescinding your permission?” Ellie stiffened in alarm next to him and he took her hand in his.

“Oh no, nothing like that. It’s just that my job has gone from shoving you into each other’s arms to keeping you out of them until…have you decided on a date yet?”

Ellie shook her head. “We’re still negotiating with Mother.”

“Well, until whenever it is, keep yourself to yourself, at least in front of me. You should be able to manage, Henry. You only have to last two more days.”

“What?” Henry and Ellie’s startled cries echoed each other.

“Yes, Ellie’s recovered enough to go home, and I wrote Mother to expect us on Thursday.”

“But,” Ellie started, only to be cut off my Robert.

“No, it’s time to go.”

Ellie frowned. She knew it wasn’t possible for her to stay here until she married Henry, but the thought of being even farther away from him than she had been in London was physically painful.

Henry could see her disappointment in her face, the disappointment he so keenly felt as well, but was determined to cheer her. “We shall have to focus on how this means you have recovered so well, and not on the thought that you will be leaving. Let’s make the most of the time we had left to us. What shall we do with the rest of the afternoon?”

She forced a smile. “I have not yet seen your hawks, my lord.”

“Well, then,” he stood and held his hand out to her, “shall we go see them?”

Robert trailed behind them as they walked down the graveled path to the mews, giving them enough privacy to talk, but Ellie remained silent as she walked with Henry, her hand held in his.

“What are you thinking, my lady?”

“That I shall miss you when I am gone.”

“I shall miss you as well, Elizabeth.”

She lifted her face to his like a flower to the sun. “You will find time to write me once in a while, won’t you?”

“Of course. I shall single-handedly make the local post office the busiest one in all England.”

“And maybe,” her gaze dropped to his cravat, “you will find time to come visit Robert?”

“I will find time to come visit you.”

“I don’t want to leave here.  I don’t want to leave you.”

Henry stopped and Ellie paused as well since he did not relinquish her hand.

“Robert,” Henry called, “face the other direction for a moment.”

“You must be joking.”

“No, I’m not.”

Robert heaved a great sigh and turned himself about.

Henry cupped Ellie’s face with his hand and she rubbed her cheek against this thumb. “I do not want you to leave. If I thought it would not cause irreparable harm to your relationship with your mother, I would beg you to let me call the local clergy right now and have him pronounce us man and wife. But you are your mother’s only daughter, and she thinks us overly hasty in getting engaged after such a short courtship. To hasten into marriage I think might provide her and society in general with an incorrect and unflattering view of your modesty and virtue.”

She rested her forehead against his shoulder. “I know. It is just that…”

“Just what, darling?” He wrapped his arms around her. She had made a capricious decision that morning to simply pull her hair back and leave it down rather than pin it up like normal, and he took advantage of a rare opportunity to stroke her hair as it fell down her back.

“I shall miss your kisses.” It was the softest whisper, and if she had not been cradled against his chest so that her words had only a few inches to travel, he was not sure if he would have heard them.

He pressed his lips to her cheek. “I shall miss kissing you.”

She sighed deeply, relaxing against him, savoring up this moment for the weeks and months ahead when he would be far distant. She concentrated on every detail, committing them to memory so that she might revisit them again. The gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, the way his arms wrapped around her, one hand on her shoulder, the other resting on the opposite hip. The subtle fragrance of his cologne, and underneath it what she understood must be his own unique scent. The slow steady drumbeat of his heart and the sound of his breath entering and leaving his body. Unable to resist the urge any longer, she tugged down the edge of his collar and delicately kissed his throat. She felt his breath leave him in a sudden exhalation at the surprise. After a second, he shakily said, “And that, my darling girl, is why it is safer for you to be far _far_ away from me. Because when you do things like that, my fragile grip on my self-restraint becomes ever more tenuous.”

“I am not sure that I would mind that, if it meant I could stay here with you,” she whispered.

“Don’t tell me that, Ellie. I want to do this right. After all the things that I have done wrong in my life, this I will do correctly in the eyes of God and society. I will honor you the way you deserve.”

She stepped back. “Of course. I’m sorry.”

“You do not need to apologize.” He tipped her head up so she was looking at him again instead of at grass at her feet. “I feel the same longing to be with you, but I would have us do this correctly, so that we never need look back on how we began with the smallest iota of regret.”

“You are right, of course. I,” she huffed a sharp little breath of annoyance, “it is that I have never felt this way before, and I do not know how to behave correctly, it seems.”

“What are you feeling?”

“I thought love was something pleasant to look forward to, something light and joyous, like whipped cream. That it would be flowers and poetry and pretty speeches. But I feel like I am on fire, and the only thing that can save me is you, that if you do not kiss me I will die. But part of me  also thinks that your kisses will just make the fire hotter, that they will burn me alive, but that it is a sweet burning much to be desired.” She colored prettily in the wake of such an ardent declaration, and looked away from him again. “I suppose that is a very wicked thing to say, my lord.”

Again he brought her back to him, his fingers gentle against her chin as he looked her in the eyes. “No. Not wicked at all. It is how I feel about you. How a husband and wife _should_ feel about each other. But until then, we must be very careful about how much fuel we give to that fire.” He kissed her softly. “We shall be its master, and it will follow our orders, and when we go up in flames, we will do so together.” He kissed her again, lingering in the touch as he realized how few opportunities he had left to kiss her before she was swept off to Standford. Her lips parted discreetly as he pressed against them, and their tongues touched for a moment before he stood up straight again. He brushed a fingertip slowly down her throat, coming to a halt on the pendant on her necklace. “Yes, I think that as painful as it will be to be separated, it may be the only way to ensure our good behavior.”

He straightened his waistcoat and then called to Robert, “You can turn back around now.”

“You two are incorrigible.”

“Yes. It’s why we suit so well.”

The screech of a raptor overhead alerted them they were approaching the mews. A woman was standing in the field next to the structure, a leather clad arm outstretched, and the three watched from the hedge as the hawk circled as it came in to land, a furry corpse dangling from its beak. The bird relinquished its prey and the lady gave him a gobbet of meat from a pouch at her waist. Only after she secured the bird and made her way towards the mews did Henry signal her.

Ellie spent the next hour in raptures of joy. They had a glove that fit her, and she actually got to handle several of the birds, holding tight to their jesses to keep them from injuring themselves if they startled. She wasn’t even scared when the peregrine falcon mantled while sitting on her gauntlet. Her favorite though was the Little Owl that was there. Océane had found the hatchling in the forest and raised it herself, and the woman coaxed it to sit on Ellie’s shoulder. It was gentle and charming, even though it did like to bite at her hair. No wonder the lady falconer kept her hair contained in that long braid.

She spent several minutes admiring the beautiful feathers on the harrier hawk perched on her forearm, keeping the bird at just the right angle so she could also watch her brother talk with Océane. The normally relaxed and sophisticated Robert was acting like a bumbling puppy trying to make her smile.

“Has Robert met that woman before?” she asked Henry.

“She rode with us to find Mary. She’s quite the sportswoman.”

“I’ve never seen Robert swoon so over a servant, even as pretty a one as she is.”

“She’s not really a servant. She’s a gentlewoman from France that fell on reduced circumstances. She and her father brought their birds, one of the few assets they managed to salvage, here, and the previous earl used them to establish his own mews. They have a comfortable little cottage along the road we followed from the train station.”

She looked over at them appraisingly. Robert was standing entirely too close for necessity, but Océane did not seem to mind. In fact, her fingers brushed against his arm more than was called for as she adjusted the gauntlet he had tied on. “Then she would be a suitable match for him?”

Henry eyed her suspiciously. “Are you thinking of turning Cupid?”

“He gave us a gentle nudge into each other’s arms. Maybe we can return the favor.”

“I’m not sure that’s entirely wise, Ellie.”

“Oh, pish.” She crossed to where her brother was standing. “Miss Bellanger, I did not get a chance to thank you for your part in finding my attacker.”

“Not at all, my lady. It was an honor to be of assistance. I hope that you are fully recovered from the misfortunate circumstances.”

“I am, thank you. My brother is a physician and stayed by my side night and day. In fact, I am recovered enough that tomorrow will be my last day at Castle Howard for quite a while. Carlisle had promised to let me go riding at a gallop when I came to visit, and I think that I shall make him make good on his word tomorrow. What do you say, Carlisle? Shall we all go riding tomorrow? We can take a picnic lunch and make a day of it.”

“You know your wish is my command, lady.”

She lightly flushed as she smiled at him and then turned back to the other woman. “Would you be so kind as to accompany us?”

She remained perfectly calm, as if being asked to join a festive outing was a regular occurrence for her. At one point, it probably had been. “I could not intrude, madam.”

“Nonsense. After days with just these two for company it will be a blessing to have another person to talk to. And I am sure both gentlemen will appreciate having someone in the party who hasn’t heard all of their stories before.”

Océane’s eyes darted to Robert before she responded. “If you are sure, madam.”

“Please, call me Elizabeth. And yes, I am sure. Another woman around will be a blessed relief from these bastions of masculinity. I will be quite surprised if they don’t try to shoot something and roast it over an open fire for our luncheon.”

She smiled widely which made her look even more charming. “Maybe we will have to have a competition. See who can provide the best course, no?”

Ellie laughed. “Oh, you’re one of them, are you? Even better. You shall put them to shame and serve them both some much needed humility along with the pheasant or whatever it is you manage to bring down.”

“You do not shoot?”

“The idea of me with a weapon causes the hearts of brave men to tremble in fear for my safety and the general wellbeing of the empire. You shall shoot with the gentlemen, and I shall admire from a practical distance.”

Plans were made to meet on the morrow and Ellie reluctantly gave back the hawk. She wanted to fly the birds but if she asked for them to be brought tomorrow, it would mean Océane would have to work instead of relax with them and flirt with her brother, so she forwent the pleasure. There would be time enough when she was Lady Carlisle to go hawking.

As they walked back up to the house, Ellie heard Lilly start barking excitedly and then the scream of an animal. “What is that?”

“That, my dear, is your blasted peacock. It sounds like Lilly has found her again.”

“Hurry! We must go rescue her.”

“I am not sure that Lilly is the one who needs rescuing.”

“Whatever do you mean?” She hurried around the wing of the house to see Lilly chasing the peacock with a footman trying to catch Lilly.

“Lilly, arrêtes!”

The puppy nearly toppled over it stopped so suddenly and looked over at Ellie.

“Viens ici en ce moment!” Lilly trotted over to Ellie.

“Assois-toi” She sat back on her haunches and looked up at Ellie expectantly as her tail beat out a tattoo on the grass.

“Oh, you are a good puppy!” She scooped up the dog and scratched her behind the ears. “Yes, you are.”

Henry looked on in bemusement. “You trained her in French.”

“Of course, my lord.”

“Any particular reason why?”

She smiled innocently at her intended. “So that you can tell the difference between when I am yelling at the dog and when I am yelling at you.”

Henry laughed as Ellie went back to lavishing adoration on her puppy. “You are not supposed to chase the peacock, baby. He lives here too. I shall take you to see him if you agree to be quiet. Is that acceptable, Lilly?”

Henry followed behind in amusement as Ellie went to go get her first good look at the peacock. The bird kept a respectful distance, eyeing them warily as it slowly walked through the formal gardens.

Ellie scanned the gardens. “Where is the other one, Henry?”

“What other one?”

She turned to look at him. “Where is his lady?”

“There’s just the one.”

“Well, no _wonder_ he is so mean tempered. He’s lonely. He needs a lady love.”

Henry looked at her in disbelief. “You want _another_ peacock.”

“A peahen. So they can be as happy together as we are.”

How do you compete with that line of logic? He sighed deeply. “Very well, Ellie. I shall consult with the steward about acquiring a peahen.”

Ellie put Lilly down and shooed her away from the peacock. She watched as the dog followed its nose away from the animal before she turned back to Henry. “Thank you, my lord, for indulging me.”

“It is not your lord that indulges you.”

“It is my Henry.”

“Yes.”

She smiled shyly. “You are mine. My Henry.”

“Yes, just as you are my Ellie.”

She stroked the smooth silk of his cravat, giving in to what felt like a near-constant urge to touch him. “I keep thinking about the morning after the fire. When I saw you without a cravat or waistcoat.”

“Why do you keep thinking about that morning?” He stepped a little closer to her and rested his hands on her tightly corseted waist.

“I thought that you must appear in a similar manner when you wake in the morning, with your hair disheveled, and unshaven, and...” her voice trailed off.

He bowed his head so it was next to hers. “And?” he quietly prompted.

She met his gaze out of the corner of her eye. “With so much of your skin exposed. The thought that I shall see you similarly…unkempt… in the future is quite distracting.”

“Do you wish me to apologize for this?”

“I think you should. It was not until you mentioned that you would have me sleep in your arms rather than in a separate bed as I had supposed that I found myself beset by wonderings over the thousand little intimacies it meant we would share.”

“I find myself beset by those same distractions every time I recall holding you as you slept. It is strange that such a terrifying moment has left me with such a sweet memory.” He stroked her hair, bringing it all to one side and pulling it forward over her shoulder. “And when you wear your hair down like this, I am reminded of what it looks like on your pillow.” He gently kissed her throat, brushing the velvet of his lips against the silk of her skin, and she felt her breath give way. Her hand that had been gently placed over his cravat while they talked spasmed as she grabbed ahold of his stolid frame to anchor her as he slowly kissed up her neck, leaving weakness and want in his wake.

After a long aching moment she gently pushed him away. “I think you are correct, my lord. It is a good thing that I will be so far away. I do not think I am strong enough to resist your advances much longer, especially when I find my own body has become a traitor.”

She ran her fingers through her hair, restoring it to order. “I shall go see what Lilly has found to terrorize now.” She hurried away, leaving him waiting and wanting and counting the days.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is entirely new to the revised version.

The next morning, Henry discovered that Ellie and Océane both favored the new fashion in riding habits that allowed the lady to ride astride. Ellie had shown up at the stables and asked for her horse to be resaddled so she could ride the way she preferred. She had smiled sweetly at the groom and he had rushed to make the change. Part of Henry regretted letting Ellie ride a horse. Their gentle canter out of the stable yard had given way to Ellie kneeing her horse into a full gallop down the road as soon as they were clear of the buildings and other people. The road was well maintained and a straight shot for a good distance, so there wasn’t anything in particular presenting a threat to her safety, other than her own impetuousness at galloping with a horse she barely knew down an unfamiliar road. His thought of calling for her to slow down disappeared as Océane laughed and kneed her own horse into a gallop, leaving him and Robert behind listening to hoof beats and laughter drifting back to them and chasing after the women with their hearts in their throats. He had given her a promise she could ride though, and she was taking full advantage of it.

The four of them galloped until Ellie tired and then they rode at a more relaxed pace to where servants had set up a picnic area for them, close enough to where they would be shooting that Ellie could take a respite from all the activity under a pavilion while the rest of them tried their luck with the local pheasants.

Henry dismounted first and hurried to help Ellie dismount from the bay mare she had been riding. By the time Robert got around to offering Océane his hand she had already dismounted.

“Did you enjoy your ride?” Henry asked.

“Oh yes!” Her cheeks were whipped red with the wind and her eyes sparkled when she pulled up her veil. Wisps of her hair had come out of the configuration she had twisted it into for the day’s festivities and framed her face. “I have not had a ride like that since I returned to England. When I am more recovered I think I shall be able to go twice that far.”

“How are you feeling now?”

She smiled up at him. “Perfectly happy, though I think I shall need to sit for a while. That’s the most excitement I’ve had in days.”

Henry tucked her hand through his arm. “You are in luck. I have had a comfortable chair brought, and a few books, and even some of that sponge cake you love so much to enjoy while your brother and I try not to embarrass ourselves by shooting worse than Miss Bellanger.”

She lifted her face to him after he had seated her and he gave her kiss. “I shall cheer for you most heartily.”

Despite Ellie’s enthusiasm, Henry and Robert both struggled to keep up with Océane as they took aim at the local pheasants.

“You shoot amazingly well, Miss Bellanger,” Henry said. “I don’t think I’ve met a woman your equal at it. Most English girls don’t shoot at all.”

“That is because English girls are like sheep.”

“My Ellie is _not_ a sheep.”

“No, but mademoiselle spent only her childhood in England. She became a woman in France, no?”

“In some regards.”

Robert punched Henry in the arm. “That’s my sister you’re talking about.”

“If you had let me finish before turning to violence like a reprobate, I was going to say that in other ways she is not yet a woman, but she will become so on English soil.”

“I’m not sure I like that response any better.”

Henry laughed and bowed to them both. “I think I shall go check on Elizabeth and make sure she is not bored.”

Ellie took Henry’s hand as he claimed the chair next to her. “How goes our plan?” She had been watching the conversation between the three of them quite intently but was seated too far away to actually hear what had been said.

“ _Your_ plan. I am claiming no hand in this.”

“Then all the glory shall be mine when they fall in love.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, darling. One day is hardly enough time to fall in love.”

“How long did it take you to fall in love with me?”

“I believed myself in love with you before I left London. The fight we had that night grieved my heart.”

“I feel such a sense of shame when I look back at that night. And then what happened later with Sebastien just adds to it. It totally spoiled what had been a lovely night at the opera with you.”

“Well then, I shall have to take you to the opera again and give you a more pleasant memory of the experience.”

Henry’s sweet promise was quickly eclipsed in excitement by other matters. “Look! She just touched his arm while they are conversing.”

Henry returned his attention to Robert and Océane. “I take it that is a good sign?”

“Haven’t you ever noticed how I constantly touch you?” She stroked the front of his coat.

“It has caught my attention a time or two.” He smiled and she leaned in towards him for another kiss.

Robert interrupted them with a cough. “I think we have time for a stroll before luncheon if you feel up for it, Ellie.”

“Oh, yes. Let’s! I haven’t gotten to explore the azalea wood yet.”

With that enthusiastic agreement, the four set off for a walk while the pheasants were cleaned and cooked. “Do you have a favorite color of azalea, Océane?” Ellie asked.

“Quick,” Robert interrupted, “just give her a color, for if you admit you don’t have a favorite she will make you look at every single one several times to compare them before you are allowed to choose a favorite.”

“You make me sound like a menace, Robert.”

“Do you like this biscuit better, Bobbie, or this one?”

“Bobbie?” Océane asked with a giggle.

“That is what she called me when she was little. She had problems pronouncing the arr sound.”

“I just wanted to make sure you were having the best experience possible.”

“Of course, and you aged, I was required to have a favorite tea, a favorite chair, a favorite cut of waistcoat, a favorite hat and favorites of everything else that passed your fancy.”

“I enjoy knowing what people like.”

“Yes, flower,” he plucked one off of the bush they were passing and handed it to her, “but you made me have a favorite African beetle. I don’t know the name of even a single African beetle.”

“I know one named Frederick,” Océane offered and she and Ellie dissolved in giggles behind their gloved hands.

Henry chuckled at the look of irritation on Robert’s face. “She got you there. And I think I shall choose the scarab before Ellie asks.”

“Are you interested in Africa, Océane?” Ellie asked.

“Oh yes. It is one of the things I miss most about France, is all the salons that I could easily attend. It is pretty here, but there is more for the body than the mind.”

“You will have to come visit me in London and we shall go to all the lectures and museums together. Robert finds it ever so boring, and Henry I think more tolerates my silly outings than enjoys them.” She stuck her tongue out at him, just a bit, and he tapped her nose again.

“I actually enjoy them, as long as I remember to not let you go wander around the private exhibition rooms with other gentlemen.”

“It is decided then. You must come to London while I am there getting my trousseau arranged, and Henry and Robert will come, and we will all go learn many exciting things.”

Océane played with the button on her jacket, staring at it intensely as if she was searching for some flaw in the design. “That is a very kind offer, Lady, but I’m not sure it would be appropriate for me to do that.”

“Nonsense. We will have a delightful time.”

“I am sure it would be a wonderful experience, but you are to be Lady Carlisle. I will be one of your servants.”

“I don’t see you like that. You are an impoverished noble lady from France.”

Océane twisted her fingers together, fighting the urge to flee back to horse and escape. “I am afraid other people would see it that way, my lady. Already there is talk in the stables about me being chosen to accompany you on this outing.”

“By whom?” Ellie demanded. “I will put a stop to that this instant.”

Henry squeezed Ellie’s arm and gave her a quieting glance. “I understand your discomfort, Miss Bellanger. While it would delight us to have more of your company, we would not want to cause you trouble.”

They started walking again and Robert lagged behind with Océane under the pretext of giving Henry and Ellie a bit of privacy. He watched what looked to be a rather intense whispered conversation break out between the two before he turned to Océane. “I’m sorry if my sister made you uncomfortable.”

“She is charming and happy and naïve about what it means not to enjoy a position of stature. I do not begrudge her that.”

Robert decided that the best thing to do would be to change the topic. However, there were limited things he knew about the young woman that could be used to start a conversation. “How long have you lived here in England?”

“For almost four years now.”

“Do you miss France?”

“Oui. In England the weather is not so nice and the food is not so good.”

“It must have been difficult to come here under the circumstances.” Robert kicked himself internally. Would every conversation come back to the topic of her situation?

“The late earl was a great friend to my father, and when he lost everything, he insisted that we come stay with him. He let us live at the cottage with no rent, and he had the mews built for the birds. They belong to the earl now, but at least Papa gets to see them every day. And I got to keep my horse. That was very good too.”

“You are an excellent rider. I’ve seldom seen the like even among men.”

“My mother, she died giving birth to a boy who also died. I have had to be both daughter and son to my father since I was a little girl. So I had to learn to ride and hunt and shoot and fly falcons.”

There was an odd melancholy to her voice that he had not expected from the woman who had outperformed both Henry and himself with a shotgun an hour earlier. “Do you not enjoy it?”

“I do. How can you not enjoy riding a horse at top speed with the wind in your face? But I do not have a passion for it, they way my father does. He would die without his birds. For me, they are like pets, but not family.”

“And what do you have a passion for?”

“Music. I would play and sing all day if I could.”

“I would love to hear you play the piano. Perhaps you would favor me with a song some time?”

“I do not have a piano, monsieur. We could not afford to bring it. We sold everything to pay off the debts my father accumulated. Everything except the birds and my horse.”

“I am glad you got to keep the horse. He is a magnificent animal.”

“Yes, he is.”

Again the odd note of wistfulness painted her voice with a sadness the words themselves did not convey. “Did I say something wrong? I appear to have upset you.”

“My father insisted on keeping the horse rather than the piano. He said we could always get a new piano when we got to England, but we’d never find another horse like him. Papa breeds him every year and the stud fees give us a little extra money for some niceties.”

“But not enough for a piano yet.”

“I hope it is just a yet. My father, he is not so good with money. He has not even saved enough money for a flute.”

“You play the flute as well?”

“And the harp and the violin.” She looked up at him and smiled. “It is as I said, I have a passion for music.”

“I would love to hear you play someday.”

“I should like that.” She smiled and a hint of color appeared in her cheeks. “But we talk too much about me. What is your passion in life?”

“Medicine.”

“You are a physician, no?”

“Oui.” He winked and she blushed. “I have found the human body and its capability to heal itself fascinating since I was a young boy and watched the bruises I acquired heal. The change in colors intrigued me. I wanted to know what was happening.”

“It is not common for someone of your rank to be a physician.”

“No. I admit it’s a bit unorthodox, but I couldn’t keep myself from studying. I do not have a large practice, but I do a bit of good here and there where I can.”

“And your sister? You saved her life, no?”

“I think Doctor Thorne and Carlisle had as much to do with that as I did. Mostly I just made sure she rested.”

“That is a Herculean task I would imagine, with someone as spirited as the lady.”

Robert chuckled and adjusted his cravat. “It did try my patience at times.”

“But you did save her life. You helped find Mary and you helped with those awful kidnappers.”

“No. I just sort of went along. I’m a shield-bearer, not the general. Always willing to pitch in, but someone else needs to tell me where.”

“I think you are very humble.”

“Thank you, my lady.”

She shook her head. “I am no one’s lady. Not anymore.”

Robert touched her arm and they both paused on the path through the trees. The sunshine fell through the wavering leaves, creating a living lacework over the both of them. “You still merit the title. The lands and the house and the wealth may be gone, but you are still a lady.”

A small smile curved her ample lips but again she shook her head. The veil on her hat rippled with the movement. “I have not been a lady in many years now. I tuck my hair under my cap and I wear trousers and the stable hands call me Sean.”

“Well, I am claiming the honor of calling you Lady Bellanger,” Robert insisted.

“That is very formal. Do I need to call you Lord Standford now and curtsey when you pass by me without notice?”

“You may call me Robert, and I do not think it possible for me to pass by you and not see you, even if you did have your hair up in a cap and were wearing trousers.” Océane blinked a few times in response to this bold statement. Robert was on the verge of kicking himself again when a flush crept up from under the collar of her coat and spread across her cheeks. She bit her bottom lip to keep her smile from becoming too large and ducked her head for a moment.  Her riding habit may have been several years old and made over by her own hand, she may not have been wearing any jewelry, but right then, Robert thought her the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. The strands of her pale blonde hair stood out against her rosy cheeks and his palms itched with the urge to smooth them away from her face.

She shook herself and then started walking. Robert took a few long strides to regain her side. She plucked a passing flower and tucked it into the veil on her hat. “Then you must call me Océane. And we are friends and intimates already. Now you must tell me a secret and it will be like we have known each other since childhood.”

“You want a secret from me? Let me think.” He clasped his hands behind his back. It took several seconds for him to come up with something suitable to share with a lady he was just beginning to know. “When I was seven I filled the sugar bowl with salt before my mother had some ladies over for tea. My mother was not amused but I thought it was funny.”

“And did you get in trouble?”

“Not at first. She thought it was one of the maids being uppity with her and gave her a tongue-lashing so loud I heard it on a different floor of the house and came and confessed to keep her from being fired. I wonder now if my father was having an affair with that maid and mother knew.” He lost himself in thought for a few moments.  “I’m sorry. That didn’t end up being the amusing anecdote I had hoped to share.”

“It must have been difficult living there once you realized what was happening.”

“There were challenges. It’s why I am so relieved that Ellie is marrying Henry.” He looked ahead of them and saw the two walking together hand in hand. “He’s been my best friend since I was twelve and I know he will do whatever he can to keep her happy.”

“They look very happy together. She has the way of always touching him when they talk that is so charming and he looks at her like a blind man that has just received sight.”

“They are almost enough to make me believe that love matches are possible.”

“Oh, they are. I have seen them. My father tried to secure an engagement for me in France once he lost the family fortune. But I would not marry out of necessity. I have seen love enough to want a taste of it myself.”

“And what does love taste like?”

“Chocolate, of course.” She laughed and Robert joined in, unable to resist the sweet sound or the happy look on her face.

They emerged from the forest and Henry and Ellie were waiting for them. Together they made their way back to the luncheon, and they spent the rest of the afternoon eating and playing croquet. The ladies emerged triumphant against the gentlemen, and there was much celebratory laughing and jesting as they mounted their horses again to return to Castle Howard.

“Do you stable Cendres here or at your home, lady?” Robert asked.

“At my home.”

“Then, may I escort you to your home?”

“As long as you do not mind walking. I was going to use the time to let him cool down.”

“I shall enjoy the time with you.”

Océane bid her farewell to Henry and Ellie and they watched as Robert and Océane walked down the lane, Cendres following obediently behind like a well-trained dog.

“I told you,” Ellie whispered gleefully.

“Yes, and as I told you earlier,” Henry tapped the tip of her nose, “you need to leave this in Robert’s hands now. He is perfectly capable of courting on his own, and he doesn’t need your help in figuring out how to see Océane if he so wishes.”

“He might need a little help.”

“Elizabeth…” Henry warned.

“A very little. Just a nudge?”

Her question was met with a single raised eyebrow in response.

“Fine. I shall leave them to themselves.” She pouted at him and he kissed her again, just a brief touch as there were stable hands about. He was going to miss having her constantly within arm’s reach when she left in the morning and was taking advantage of every moment they had together.

“Now, let’s return to the house and you can rest before dinner so you don’t fall asleep in your soup.”

“Mrs. Parker would never forgive me.”

“No, I don’t think she would, and there would be no more sponge cake with tea.”

“Do you think if I asked very nicely she would pack some of her sponge cake for me to take on the train tomorrow? It is ever so delightful and nothing they have on the train will come within a furlong of it for taste.”

Henry lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of hers. “I shall inquire for you.”

Robert and Océane walked a ways in silence. Robert had his hands clasped behind his back as he tried to think of something charming he could say to the lovely lady at his side. “I think you still must tell me one of your secrets.”

“You are right. We did not finish our conversation earlier. Let me think.” She tapped a fingertip against her bottom lip as she thought, drawing his attention to the plump pinkness. Her face brightened and a small laugh escaped before she smiled up at him. “When I was a little girl, I was convinced that butterflies were angels that had crashed into a stained glass window and had sustained a head injury and forgotten they were angels. One of the grooms had been kicked in the head by a horse and forgot everything and was like a child, so I knew you could forget things like that. So I would catch butterflies in a net and then run to the little chapel in our village and then, very carefully take them out of the net and bonk their little heads on the one stained glass window in the building and then set them free. I was positive in my heart of hearts that they remembered they were angels now, and would change back when they had flown out of sight.”

Robert laughed at her story. “And how long did you terrorize the butterfly population of your garden?”

“For about six months.” She smiled bashfully. “It made perfect sense to me because I never saw a baby butterfly as hard as I looked. My governess finally caught me at it, and when I explained why I was bashing butterflies against the window she taught me about caterpillars and cocoons.”

“I think I like amnesiac angels better.”

“As do I! But I suppose knowing the truth is safer for the butterflies.”

“Poor butterflies.”

She pulled at the fingers of her gloves and adjusted them mindlessly. “I cried heartbrokenly into my pillow that night when I realized how many poor butterflies I had abused in those six months.”

Robert’s brow furrowed. “I don’t like the idea of you crying.”

“Me either, monsieur. That is why I do not do it very often.” Her smile was puckish.

“When is the last time you cried?”

“When we left France.”

“That is a long time to go without crying.”

She shrugged gracefully, the motion liquid and sensuous. “I am too poor to afford tears.”

“I don’t like that idea any better.”

“Life is what it will be, monsieur. Crying does not change anything. So I do not cry.”

“I will not offer charity –,”

She interrupted him. “Good because I would not accept it. There are others much worse off than I. Not many people get to spend the day riding and shooting and playing at games.”

“However, I would like to send you a gift. Something to make you smile. Would you accept a small token of my friendship?”

Océane was silent for a while and Robert’s heart sank as he realized he must have misinterpreted her friendly manner.

“Perhaps a small box of chocolate,” she suggested as she looked out over the fields rippling with golden wheat.

Robert’s breath caught in his throat for a second and he coughed to clear it. “You would accept a gift of chocolate from me?”

She smiled up at him and he admired the flush tinting her cheeks. “A small box. If not chocolate, then I need nothing from you.” Her eyes moved restlessly over his face, afraid of revealing too much if they stayed fixed on his own.

He held out his arm to her and she carefully accepted it. He stroked her hand once and then escorted her the rest of the way home.


	26. Chapter 26

She should be sleeping. She knew she should be, but no matter how much she tossed and turned, dreams evaded her pursuit. Even though she could feel the exhaustion sapping her body of strength, she couldn’t get her mind to shut down. All she could think about was that she was leaving in the morning and she didn’t know how long it would be until she saw Henry again. The impending departure and the ensuing absence of her heart kept her mind whirling. Finally, she decided that sleep was a lost cause. Pulling on her dressing gown, she lit the lamp and opened the door to her room. Checking that no one was about, she stepped into the hall and quietly shut the door behind her.

She snuck down the staircase, keeping an eye out for any servants who might be about at this late hour. She hadn’t crept around in the dark like this since she was a child when she would steal books out of her father’s library at home. She hoped she remembered where the library was here. If she couldn’t get to sleep by herself, maybe a book would distract her brain enough to let the exhaustion take her into slumber.

She opened the door to the room she thought was the library and peeked inside. Happily, she was correct. She walked inside and started perusing the bookshelves, looking for something that would be interesting enough to keep her engaged, but boring enough to let her fall asleep.

“Ellie?”

She turned to find Henry standing in the doorway. Startled by his sudden appearance, she clutched at the lapels of her dressing gown, drawing them closer together at the base of her neck. “Henry.”

The golden light of the lamp illuminating her face gave her a halo. “What are you doing in here?”

She looked at the books and then back at him. “I couldn’t sleep. I thought I would try a book to see if it would help.” After a long awkward pause she asked, “Why aren’t you asleep?”

He stepped into the library and shut the door behind him. The sound of the latch clicking into place echoed in the quiet room. “I couldn’t sleep either. I was in my study reading and was just on my way to my rooms when I saw a light in here.”

She tried to keep her eyes on his face and not focus on the untied cravat hanging around his neck or the open collar of his shirt. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you. I’ll go.” She moved to brush past him and he grabbed her arm.  She looked down at his fingers gently wrapped around her upper-arm as they started to slowly stroke her through the silk of her robe.

“Stay.” She looked up at him, his face mere inches from hers. His eyes roamed over her face, pausing for a long moment on her mouth before meeting her eyes again. “Just for a moment.”

She nodded, unable to look away from him, and placed the lamp on the table before her trembling hand dropped it. He watched the rosy tip of her tongue nervously dart out between her lips to moisten them and bent to capture it with his teeth. Her eyes widened in surprise at the smooth hardness against her tongue, but when he dragged them slowly across the delicate pink her eyes fluttered shut at the new and completely unexpected sensation. He turned to face her fully and she slipped her arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around her. He let his hands slide over her silk-covered back as he pulled her firmly against him. She felt so different like this, out of her corset and bustle and other rigid underthings; she was soft and pliable and warm under his hands and he molded her body against him.

The next time their tongues touched, she returned the bite and he smiled against her mouth as the sweet drag of her teeth vibrated through him. Ellie slipped her hand inside the neck of his shirt and let her fingers rest against the warm breadth of his shoulder. She had never felt anything like the way his muscles moved under his skin as he moved his arm to stroke her back. The heat of his hand penetrated her robe as if it was not there, like he was stroking her skin directly. She wrapped his hair around her fingers and hesitantly shifted his head slightly so that she could move her mouth against his with a little more urgency. She wasn’t sure how he would respond to her gentle demand but she wanted him to know the way he made her feel inside, the aching burn that he ignited with his touch.

He groaned softly and pressed his lips to her jaw and then down her neck. She tipped her head to the side, letting him kiss his way down her throat. He tugged her robe open at the neck to continue kissing her skin. She shuddered at the new sensation as he gently edged her nightgown across her shoulder, following the retreat of the embroidered lace with gentle kisses. She knew she should not be allowing him such liberties but somehow the line between knowing something and doing something about it blurred under the touch of his lips on her skin.

Henry took his time as he slowly kissed his way across her creamy white skin. She was warm and tender under his mouth and the quiet little noises she made when his stubble would rub against her exposed shoulder were intoxicating. He gently nipped at the thin skin over her collarbone and for the first time he heard her call his name from pleasure. Heat stirred lazily to life in his belly, coiled like a waking snake. He kissed her more firmly and her nails scraped against his scalp as her fingers tightened into a fist in his locks.

“Ellie,” he murmured against her throat. “Darling,” he slowly slid his hand up her side. He looked her in the face as he carefully cupped his hand around her breast, feeling it full and heavy in his palm. Her eyes flew open at the touch, her breath stuttering across her parted lips, and then he tenderly squeezed, letting his thumb brush across the layers of silk and linen to find the peak, and when he did, her eyes closed again and she leaned her forehead against his shoulder, with a little keening cry that caught in her throat. He brushed his thumb against the hardening nub, letting the fabric slide between his skin and hers. The whimpering noise she made was accompanied by the slight arc of her back, pressing her breast into his hand.

Her response encouraged him, and he gripped the back of her head and brought her mouth to his for another kiss. Her lips parted automatically under his touch and he savored the sound she made as he nipped at her bottom lip. He rolled the pebbled tip of her breast between his thumb and finger and she sobbed softly against his kiss. It was her shattered little sound that brought him back to his senses. As much as he wanted to continue, he knew it wouldn’t be right to do so.

Henry tugged her nightgown back up on her shoulder and adjusted her robe before pulling her against him again. He tucked her head under his chin and held her closely while he listened to her breathing slowly steady. “I love you, Ellie.”

“I love you, too, Henry.”

“I don’t think I am going to escort you to your room tonight. Please forgive me my rudeness.”

“Of course.”

>< 

Robert stood outside the mews, a small box of chocolate in his hands. He paced up and down the length of the building, rehearsing the speech he had spent a few hours of the dark night composing. The effect was ruined when he looked up to see Océane in the doorway of the mews, watching him with a smile. Even the owl sitting on her shoulder seemed to be laughing as its beak gaped open.

“Lady Bellanger,” he fumbled the words out over a stutter. “I was hoping to find you here.”

Her gentle smile encouraged him. “Well, your hope has been realized.”

“Yes.” He ran a hand through his hair and then tugged on the front of his waistcoat. “I have brought you a small token of our friendship.” He held out the elaborately wrapped box of sweets.

Océane took the box from him and ran a finger over the ostentatiously tied ribbon. The bow was almost the same size as the box. “You have brought me chocolates so soon?”

“I took the train to York after we parted yesterday to seek them out. I didn’t feel like waiting. I leave for Standford in an hour and I didn’t want you to think that I was insincere in my manner with you.”

“That is very kind of you, my lord.  You honor me with your attention.”

“No, Océane. It is you who honors me with your smile.”

She blushed and ducked her head for a moment. “I smiled more yesterday with you than I have in a very long time.”

“I am glad that I could play even the smallest part in bringing you happiness.”

“It has been a pleasure to get to know you, Lord Standford. I regret that you are leaving today when we are just getting to know each other.”

“Will you give me permission to write you?”

“Of course, my lord. I am your humble servant.” She tried to meekly clasp her hands together but it was difficult while wearing heavy leather gloves and holding a gift. “You need not ask my permission in such things.”

Robert delicately stroked her cheek and she gasped softly at the warm touch but didn’t move away. He cupped her chin and lifted her face so they were looking at each other. “Océane, you are not my servant in anything. If you ever do not want my attention, please tell me. I will not take advantage of your circumstance; you deserve the same respect Henry paid to my sister.”

Her eyes fluttered as she tried to hide years of pain from him. “I think I have forgotten how to be a lady after these years of being Sean, the bird boy.”

“Then I will take it upon myself to remind you that you are a beautiful and accomplished lady.”

She gently leaned into the touch of his hand. “Why would you do that, my lord? You have no obligation to me.”

“Because Sean the bird boy does not smile with the sweetness that my lady does, and I do not think he plays the piano either, and I do so wish to hear you play and sing someday.”

“You are very kind to me.”

“It is easy to be kind to you. So, my lady, do I have permission to write you?”

“Yes, my lord. I look forward to your letters.”

Robert smiled in response to her sweet smile. “And perhaps I shall send more chocolate.”

“Perhaps. If our communications with each other merit such a gift.”

“I have to leave now so I do not miss our train connection.” Robert took her hand and kissed the back of her leather glove. “I will write you and I know we shall see each other again.”

“The Fates willing.”

“I will not leave this to Fate.” His fingers brushed against her cheek once more before he bowed over her hand and kissed it farewell.

Océane watched him walk back towards the house. Her owl hopped down her arm and tugged at the ribbon. She stroked the bird’s head for a moment. “Well, mon petit, I think I have a beau. I’m not sure I remember what to do now.” A smile played around her mouth for a moment and the owl pulled at the ribbon again. “Yes, I think a piece of chocolate is exactly what I need too.”

>< 

Robert hugged Henry and clapped him on the shoulder before leaving him on the station platform with his sister to bid a private farewell. Lilly sat obediently at Elizabeth’s feet, her tail thumping with excitement for the new adventure. There were all sorts of smells here that were unfamiliar.

Ellie dropped Lilly’s lead and threw her arms around Henry’s neck. He was a bit surprised by her impetuosity but recovered quickly and held her tightly against him.

“I don’t want to leave,” she whispered.

“Oh, my darlingest girl, I don’t want you to leave either, but I don’t think we have much say in the matter. And I shall visit soon.”

“If you were to arrive tomorrow, it would not be soon enough to satisfy my heart.”

He took her face in his hands. “The first of November.” He smiled at her. “We shall marry the first of November regardless of what your mother says. That should be long enough for all the necessary and proper arrangements to be made.”

Her mouth fell open a touch for a moment. “That’s just over three months from now.”

“Yes. Will that give you enough time to put together whatever it is that women are supposed to arrange during their engagement?”

She nodded, a happy smile chasing the earlier sadness from her face. “Yes. I shall notify the dressmaker the instant I arrive at home. Or, I should say arrive at Standford, because this is my home now. I am home when I am with you.”

She teared up at his smile, that charming smile she would miss so much when she was gone with the quirk of his mouth and the rise of his brows.

“I will shelter and care for you all the days of my life, my darling Ellie.”

“And I will provide you a refuge from the cares of the world, my love.”

He kissed her as chastely as if they were in a church and helped her onto the train. He helped Lilly make the leap into the car and then kissed Ellie one more time before closing the door.

Ellie sank back onto the seat and closed her eyes as the train pulled out of the station. She couldn’t stop the train from going, but she could at least exclude one of the sensations of leaving. She knew Henry was standing on the platform watching the train pull away, but she couldn’t bear to see him fade into the distance. Lilly sniffed the huge hamper that Mrs. Parker had packed for their journey and then hopped up on the bench. She put her front paws on the glass and stared out the window at the passing fields and animals.

Robert let her be quiet until they changed onto the main line. Then, as any brother would, he pestered her about sinking into a sulk until she saw Henry again.

“Where did you disappear to this morning?” she asked, able to pester as well as him.

“Nowhere.”

“You were gone for an hour.”

He looked at her askance and then strategically retreated behind the newspaper.

“I was simply wondering if you had gone to bid Miss Bellanger farewell. You two seemed to get along very well yesterday. ” She smiled at him innocently.

Robert flipped down one corner of the paper, glared at her, and then flipped it back up.

“I was thinking of inviting Miss Bellanger to come visit at Standford,”she said to no one in particular.

The corner of the newspaper flicked back down. “You want to do what?”

“I was thinking she might come to visit for a while. I shall enjoy the company and maybe she could give you advice about starting mews at Standford.”

“You are meddling.” He sighed deeply. “But do as you will.”

He retreated behind his paper again, but not before she saw him smile.


	27. Chapter 27

_Dearest Henry,_

_I write to inform you that Mother has agreed to us marrying on the first of November, on the condition that all other matters of etiquette are strictly obeyed. She will also be reading our letters to each other to make sure we are not slipping into intimacies for which we are not yet ready. I find I do not mind the small lapse in privacy for it means that we shall me married in less than three months. Mother intends for us to go to London to be fitted for my trousseau. Perhaps you will find matters of business in town that require your attention at the same time? As soon as I know when we are going, I shall inform you._

_Lilly is getting accustomed to a new house. I think she is still trying to find the peacock every time we go outside. She has already defended me from two chickens and an impertinent rabbit and had a very enthusiastic conversation with a local frog. I think she is looking for you, though. Every morning at breakfast Robert feeds her pieces of bacon and then she wanders around the room sniffing the other chairs. She shall almost be as happy as I am to see you again. No one could be happier to see you again than I._

_How are you faring at Castle Howard now that your guests are gone and you are able to pay attention to your steward and your butler? Have they both come to you with lists of tasks that must be seen to immediately? I think that the entire house and grounds were the loveliest I have ever seen. If I may beg a second indulgence from you, after getting the peahen, or is the peahen the second indulgence and keeping the peacock the first? Whichever it is, may I please have one more indulgence from you? I would like to hire an assistant cook that is proficient in French cooking. I developed a fondness for many of the dishes while I was at school, and I would so enjoy being able to have pain au chocolat for breakfast again. If you wish to hire someone before I return, you could have her cook for Océane and her father as a test. I did greatly enjoy the time I spent with Lady Bellanger and hope to see her again soon. Does she travel to London often? Perhaps I might see her there. Robert will be coming to London as well so if you do have matters that concern you in London, you will have a great friend to keep you happy and entertained while I am being fitted for my trousseau.  I think I have lost the point of my conversation as I trailed off talking about Lady Bellanger and Robert. Back to the topic at hand, if you wish, I could seek an assistant cook? I do not know the protocol for hiring staff, but I am sure my mother does, and she will tell me after she reads this section of the letter…_

_> < _

_My Elizabeth,_

_You do not have to beg indulgences from me. I am sure you are aware of your ability to get me to indulge any of your whims. Tell me, dearest Ellie, what may I do today to make you happy? I will ask Mrs. Parker about acquiring a French cook. Perhaps she knows of someone._

_As for Lilly, give her some pets for me and let her know that when she returns there will be a peahen for her to harass as well. One has been acquired for you and should be here when we return from our honeymoon. I was thinking Italy. What do you say, darling? Does a month in Italy sound like the thing to you?_

_And I will meet you in London. Just say when and I will be there. Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the opera while in town? I should like to give you a pleasant experience with no unhappy memories attached to it this time…_

>< 

Ellie picked up her skirts and hurried down the stairs as she heard voices in the foyer. “Henry!” Lilly scrambled after her mistress, yapping happily at the commotion.

She dashed across the wide entry hallway and he grabbed her around the waist, spinning her in circles as he kissed her. He slowly came to a halt and returned her to her feet before cupping her face in his hands, turning their kiss from pure happiness into something more intense and personal.

“Young lady,” her mother scolded and she broke the kiss. She pressed her face to his shoulder for a moment and then turned to face her mother who was making her way much more sedately across the foyer. “Really, girl, have you learned nothing of manners in your twenty-one years?”

“Only a very little, Mother.”

Her mother bestowed a quelling glare upon her and then turned to Lord Carlisle. “It is so good to see you again, though I will not make you swing me around the foyer like a girl at a market dance.”

Henry bowed over her hand. “It is good to see you again, Lady Harcourt. And may I present my associate Lady Bellanger.” He turned and brought forward Océane. “Several of my friends have inquired about establishing their own mews and I brought her to town with me to consult with them as she is the second most knowledgeable person about the topic that I know.”

“And who is the first?”

“Her father, Lady.”

“And why did you not bring him?” She bristled in preparation for being offended.

“Because he looks after my own birds and I always keep the best for myself. It’s why I am marrying your daughter.”

“Hmmm.” She almost appeared to be pleased by his answer. “Well, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lady Bellanger. Where are you staying while you are in town, may I ask?”

“I thought I would just put her up with me,” Henry answered for her.

“Henry,” Ellie scolded as she turned to him to hide her growing smile from her mother, “don’t be ridiculous. You can’t just ‘put her up’ with you. She’s not actually a bird; she’s an attractive young woman. Think of the scandal.” She turned to Océane and clasped the woman’s hands. “You must stay with Mother and Robert and I while you are in town. We will have so much fun together. When you are not consulting with my Henry’s associates about birds, that is.”

“Oh no, mademoiselle. I could not intrude.”

“Nonsense! Jenkins, please ready the room next to mine for Miss Bellanger’s stay. She will be our guest for her stay in town.”

“Very good, miss.”

“See? It is all arranged, and you all must come for supper tonight and then you will stay here when we send Henry home to his bachelor’s quarters.”

“You are very kind.”

“And won’t we have a surprise for Robert when he gets back later today. We didn’t think you were coming until tomorrow, Henry.”

“I couldn’t keep myself away.”

Lady Harcourt hmmphed again. “Well, you will be strictly chaperoned whenever you are together, is that to be understood?”

“Yes, my lady.”

“And none of this sneaking off to dark corners or back gardens.”

“Mother, whatever gave you the idea that we would do such a thing?”

“I was young once, too, child. I know how the mind works when one fancies oneself in love.”

Ellie couldn’t decide whether to be scandalized or delighted. “Mother! Do you mean you frequented back gardens in your youth?”

“Never you mind, girl. Now, let us stop acting like we have met on a street corner and go sit down like civilized people and have tea.” She led them into the parlor and Henry, Ellie, and Océane exchanged laughing glances behind her.

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Mother was insistent that Elizabeth be properly outfitted for her new life with the best of everything, and Ellie had expected to enjoy this one aspect of giving in to her mother’s demands. She had forgotten that fittings meant standing still and being peered at by her mother in unnerving ways as the woman ad long discussions with the seamstress about whether the neckline needed to be lowered a quarter of an inch. For a week she stood still in the middle of a room while people draped and pinned and stitched around her. The  _modiste_ was the most exclusive in London, and other purveyors of goods catering to the brides of the titled classes brought by items for her to examine as she stood motionless surrounded by swaths of silk and satin. New gloves, embroidered silk stockings topped with lace, new corsets of beautifully patterned and decorated silk – which hadn’t made sense at first but then caused her to turn several different shades of pink once she realized why so much detail work was being done on them – mitts, capes, hats, shawls, slippers, shoes and every other accoutrement for the new bride.

And then the modiste had solemnly ushered her to a different room and left her alone with the seamstress that specialized in unmentionables.  The charming older woman had the twinkle in her eye of an eighteen year old girl at her first ball. The first words out of her mouth were, “Do you go to him with love or from duty?”

Ellie didn’t know what to say. For all the discussions about the new bride and what she had needed that were going on in the main fitting room, no one had ever asked her about how she felt about Henry. Questions about his rank, and estate, and social calendar, of course, and her mother insisted on a new court gown, not that the one she had worn only a few months before when presented at court needed replacing, but no one seemed to care about how she felt about him.

“I love him.”

The woman smiled. “That is good. It is much more enjoyable to make the underthings of love than the unmentionables of duty, no?” Her English was so heavily accented that Ellie answered in French.

“I’m afraid I do not know the difference.”

Emilie, for that is what she insisted that Ellie call her, looked at her with narrowed eyes. “Have you kissed your fiancé?”

Ellie nodded.

“And do you wish to kiss him again?”

Ellie blushed and murmured, “Very much so.”

This was greeted with a huge smile. “Ahhhh, innocent yet wanting. This is the greatest challenge for the needlewoman.”

The seamstress seemed pleased and yet Ellie was concerned by this proclamation. “What do you mean? A challenge?”

“The corset maker, she shapes you to the dress. But me, my job is to make the garment fit you. And not just your body, but who you are inside. You have no experience with a man, no? Well then, we do not want him to look at you and think that you have. We want him to understand that he must take his time with you, be gentle, that he must teach you the ways of the bed.”

She said all this while she helped Ellie out of her clothes; even, to Ellie’s surprise, her chemise.

“But, we do not want him to think that you are not a willing student either.” She raised an eyebrow at Ellie as she began to take an extensive list of measurements, jotting them down in a little notebook that dangled from a chain around her waist.

“Of course,” Ellie responded, not knowing what else to say, but feeling that some sort of response was required. She had avoided thinking about the wedding night as much as she could. Henry’s kisses were intoxicating and delightful, but she had heard many stories in the last several weeks about what happened after kissing and that activity was reportedly much less enjoyable for the woman. But if it was something that Henry enjoyed she should at least be willing to learn how to make it the best for him, and since it was an unavoidable part of marriage and having children, she was determined to make it as bearable as possible. If new underthings helped that process, then so be it.

>< 

The talent of the singers and orchestra was completely lost on her. All she could concentrate on was the feel of Henry holding her hand. It was a lovely opera, she was sure, but its wonders failed to distract her from the warmth of her fiancé seated next to her, close enough that she could rest her head on his shoulder. She darted a glance behind her and quickly looked ahead again so that her grin wouldn’t be noticed by Océane or by Robert, who was holding Océane’s hand. The four of them had enjoyed many outings together over the last four days and Henry and Elizabeth always managed to give the two of them a few minutes alone, just as Robert had been so kind to them when they had been courting. This evening, Ellie had insisted on dressing Océane up for the opera since they were both of a size, and when they had descended the stairs together had ended up biting her lips to keep from laughing at the look on Robert’s face when he saw her. It was as if someone had hit him in the back of the head with a shovel. Robert had danced attendance on Océane since the moment he had walked into the parlor and found her taking tea with his mother, and Ellie had decided to give him a vision of what the lady would look like when dressed and bejeweled as would suit a marchioness. Her efforts had been nicely rewarded.

All thoughts of Robert and Océane fled her mind as Henry’s fiddling with the buttons on her glove turned into Henry undoing the buttons that sat right above her wrist. Once he had undone enough of them for his purposes, he slipped his thumb inside and stroked the pulse point in her wrist slowly and repeatedly. She was unaware of anything else except the pounding of her heart and the rushing of the blood in her ears until the standing ovation brought her back to her senses.

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Saying farewell to Henry was even harder this time than last time.  They had no privacy as they stood on the train platform and it was too noisy even to engage in sweet whispered conversations. Lilly sat at her feet, balefully glaring at anyone who got too close to the couple as they held hands and Ellie rested her temple against Henry’s shoulder. The train pulled into the station and the call for the departing northbound train let them know they only had a minute left together.

“Just six weeks more, darling Elizabeth. Six weeks and we shall see each other again and be married.”

“And then no more leaving one of us on a train platform while the other rides off for parts distant.”

“No more. We shall be together forever.” He caught the teardrop hanging on her eyelashes with a gloved finger. “Now give me a smile to remember you by.”

Ellie managed a watery smile and he kissed her softly. “Six more weeks. We can do this,” he murmured and kissed her one more time.

Robert kissed the back of Océane’s hand and then gently kissed her cheek before helping her onto the train. Henry followed after her. Ellie waved as the train pulled away and then leaned against Robert for a moment. Lilly yapped at her and Robert patted her back. “Come on, flower. Let’s go wander around Hyde Park for a bit. I don’t feel like going home and facing Mother’s questions right now.”

Ellie didn’t ask any of her own. She had seen enough to know that his heart was on a northbound train as well.

>< 

The weeks after her trip to London were replete with packages in the post, both of her mother’s purchase, her own – a signet ring for Henry with the Carlisle coat of arms – and wedding gifts from friends and family. Her mother had helped her open each one, but when the box from Emilie arrived she insisted on opening it alone. The chest opened to reveal a veritable treasure trove of individually wrapped garments, each with a note tucked into the ribbon. She made sure not to lose the notes as she went through the various items. She wanted to know what differed from her current unmentionables.

At first the only difference she noticed was in the fabrics. The fabrics were exquisite; finely woven linens and the softest silk she had ever touched. There were three different dressing gowns, each in a different hue and pattern. These looked fairly similar to the one she currently wore. It was when she saw the nightgowns that she noticed differences. What had once been simple linen was now made from silk and lace. She shook one out and held it up to her body. The silk was so finely woven it was practically sheer, and the bodice didn’t have buttons. Instead the two sides were joined with a single tie of ribbon. She wondered why a tie was even necessary as the neckline was wide enough she could just pull it over her head. As it was, she would have to be concerned about it sliding off of a shoulder. Her memories flashed back to that night in Henry’s library, how he had pulled her nightgown over to be able to kiss her shoulder. These new gowns would make that task much easier. Her cheeks colored as she remembered what he had done after kissing her shoulder. Remembering the feel of his hand against her breast helped her understand the new fastening on her gown. He would be able to touch her breast without removing her nightgown when she wore this. Hurriedly she folded the gown up and laid it carefully on her bed. Whenever she thought about that night, she always felt like she had a fever.

The other nightgowns all had the loose tied neckline. Embroidered lace sleeves, delicate silk, ribbons and flounces and gathers; they were all beautiful. At the bottom of the chest there was a small box. The note on top said, “For you to wear on your wedding night. Do not open until then. I have kept your measurements on file so if you want anything more adventurous in the future, you just have to write and let me know! And remember, ignore the advice to lay back and think of England. Instead, bend your knees and think of your husband.”  She dropped the card like it burnt her.

>< 

That box now was safely packed into her luggage for the honeymoon, still unopened. Everything was packed it seemed, waiting for one more day to pass before life started again. She got out of bed and went to the window to see if Robert was back from picking up Henry at the train station. He should have been back hours ago. She supposed he was spending the evening keeping Henry entertained though. Heaven knew the last month around here had been very boring for him. Every waking moment had focused around wedding preparations, and Mother’s enforcement of the rule that the bride wasn’t supposed to receive guests for the month before the wedding had been applied to Robert’s entertainments as well. Robert had escaped the doldrums for a week’s visit to Henry, claiming he needed to finalize the financial arrangements. Her mother’s restrictions also explained why Henry hadn’t come down earlier than the night before the wedding, and why he wasn’t staying at Standford. She wouldn’t see him until at the church in the morning.

As much as she had hated the restrictions placed on her and Henry, she was grateful her mother has allowed the almost scandalously short engagement. She wasn’t sure she would have made it another three months without having thrown a teacup at someone out of sheer frustration and longing.

Ellie was about to go back to bed and try to sleep again when she heard the crunch of horse hooves on gravel and looked out the window to see Robert disembarking from the carriage and helping Océane down. Océane’s father then stepped down from the carriage and then turned away. At least this meant that Henry was here, somewhere nearby. Eleven more hours and she would see him again.

She was sitting in bed and reading by lamplight when there was a knock at the door. Robert stuck his head in. “I come bearing gifts. Well, a gift.” When she gestured for him to come in, he sat on the foot of her bed and handed her a box. “From Henry.”

“How is he?”

“I think he might be even more anxious to see you than you are to see him and that is saying quite a lot. I don’t think he has broken down in tears over flowers though. That seems to be a more feminine pastime.”

She rolled her eyes at him as she opened the card on the box.

_My Ellie,_

_Tomorrow. All of our waiting comes to an end tomorrow. I will see you and I will kiss you and I will take you as my wife._

_I thought you might like this to wear. If you have something you would rather wear, I’ll find another excuse for you to wear this._

_I love you with all my heart._

_Henry_

She opened the box. Carefully she unfolded the velvet panels and found a choker of orange blossoms crafted from diamonds and citrines. A matching pair of earrings in the shape of diamond petals hanging from a citrine center rested on the black velvet in the center of the choker. She stared at the exquisite jewelry in wonder. She really hoped that the set was part of the estate’s collection because she couldn’t even imagine what it had cost.

“Henry knows I don’t need these, right? He knows I love him and not just his money, right?” She was still gazing at the diamonds sparkling in the low light cast by the lamp.

“He wants to give you everything you could possibly desire. He didn’t grow up with a title like you, and while he has a family fortune, it’s not the size we had either. He wants to prove to you, and to everyone else I suspect, that he can provide for you like you are accustomed to.”

“I’m not saying I want to be poor, but Robert,” she turned the display box around so he could see the pieces as well, “I don’t need  _this_ to know he loves me.”

“Well, maybe you should tell him that.”

She sighed and put the box down. She scooted across the bed to where Robert was sitting and threw her arms around him. “Thank you, Robert,” she said softly. “For keeping me safe all those years, and for finding me Henry.”

“I couldn’t have borne watching you marry someone I didn’t trust. But now I can stop worrying about keeping you safe, and I can focus on something else.”

“Like Océane?” She couldn’t help but tease.

Robert smiled. “Perhaps.” He stood. “Good night, flower. Try and get some sleep tonight. You have a big day tomorrow.” He kissed her on top of her head.

Ellie sat staring at the necklace for a while before she folded the velvet over it and closed the box. She hoped he knew that she loved him and his character more than the gifts he could give her. She had the rest of her life to convince him of that. She just hoped it wouldn’t take that long.


	28. Chapter 28

All morning had been a blur. Being laced into her corset. Dressed in her gown. Henry’s necklace and earrings. The veil that misted over everything she saw. The wreath of orange blossoms holding it in place. Robert helping her into the open carriage drawn by a grey horse. The sound of church bells ringing out as she stood outside the chapel while Victoria arranged the nine feet of train and her veil so everything hung perfectly.

And then.

Everything snapped into focus as Robert placed her hand into Henry’s.

In retrospect, maybe the ceremony hadn’t been particularly short; she simply didn’t remember much of it. Ellie had read the Book of Common Prayer repeatedly in the last few weeks, and the familiar words of the ritual floated over her unheeded. All she could focus on was Henry. Even with the veil interfering with her vision, she could tell he was fighting back a smile as he tried to pay attention to the priest. He kept looking at her out of the corner of his eye, and the fullness of his cheek, the line that bracketed his mouth, and the thinned lips were all evidence of his ongoing battle to look appropriately solemn during the service.

And then she said, ‘I will,’ and so did Henry.

More words followed, words of exhortation and advice, but they passed over her like a gentle breeze as the only thing that penetrated her mind was the overwhelming love she felt for the man standing beside her. She turned her head slightly to the side so she could see him better, and he did the same thing, and they just watched each other.

It was easier for him not to smile as he looked at her. With the veil over her face, Henry couldn’t help but be reminded of how pale she had looked when she had been ill. The agony of those hours when he thought she was going to die, right at the beginning of their life together, flooded his memory. He had to force himself to concentrate on her here in front of him dressed in a wedding gown and not a shroud to keep tears from falling. He had come so close to losing her. He would love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as they both lived. They may be a mere formality to so many of the gentlemen of his generation, but they were a promise to the woman who held his heart, and he always kept his promises.

They were instructed to face each other and he took her hand, and they repeated their vows to each other. He slipped a ring on her finger, a simple gold band inside which were engraved their initials and the date, and the celebrant joined their hands together and pronounced them man and wife. Her wide smile in response to those words was evident to Henry even through the veil, and Henry grinned in return. There was no point in trying to fight it anymore. They were happy, and nothing could disguise that. All of the trials that they had gone through, all of the mistakes they had made in the past were gone. They were new people, a husband and a wife, something that hadn’t existed before.

The prayers followed, and then it was time for the blessing.  As they knelt he took her hand. That wasn’t strictly according to ritual, but she had spent enough time in the last months following obscure and arbitrary strictures on her behavior that she didn’t care. It was there, kneeling next to her husband with her hand in his that she finally felt at peace for the first time in three months.

Finally, they were allowed to kiss. Henry carefully raised her veil and slipped it back over her head, smoothing it down around her shoulders. With a slight smile he leaned towards her as she tilted her face up to him. Their kiss was soft and gentle, the touch of their tongues slight enough that no one else noticed, but when Ellie opened her eyes and looked at Henry again she knew her entire world had changed. It was a new world and she had a new life.

They walked down the aisle together, and he handed her up into an open carriage drawn by four white horses under a shower of rice. The train of her dress formed a cloud around their feet as they were taken back to Standford. Between the coachman and the footman and the people on the road waving, they didn’t have much privacy to actually talk to each other but Henry put his arm around her and she leaned into him. His fingers lazily stroked against her upper arm, and she turned her head to smile at him. Not caring about who might be watching, he kissed her in the chill morning sunshine with his hand cradling the arch of her neck and his thumb brushing along her jaw.

“I have missed you so much,” she whispered.

“I have missed you too, my Ellie,” he said, letting his forehead rest against hers for a moment. She took a deep breath, reacquainting herself with the scent of his cologne and his warm skin.

“You look very handsome in your morning coat.” She stroked the lapels of his jacket, the familiar urge to touch him reappearing. “I think I must have the most handsome husband in the history of forever.”

“If you do, it is because I have to match your beauty. I have never seen anyone look as beautiful as you do right now.”

She felt tears well up and blinked them back. “I love you, Henry. My Henry. My husband.” She wondered how long it would be before that sounded normal.

“I love you too, my wife.”

She giggled. “I am a wife.”

“Yes you are. The most perfect wife I could ever have hoped for.”

A flash of sadness crossed her eyes. “I wish we had fallen in love last year.”

“And why is that?”

“So you would know that I love you, and not your title or your house or fortune. As lovely as diamond necklaces are, and I must admit, my lo -,” she stopped herself in mid-word, “I must admit, _Henry_ , that you have exquisite taste in jewelry, I don’t expect them or need them to know you love me.”

“I know you don’t need them. We would have been perfectly happy at St. Catherine’s as long as we were together. But I do like spoiling you when I have the opportunity. I think it is one of the privileges of being a husband – to buy my wife extravagant gifts whenever I please.” His wide smile drew an answering one in response from her. He picked up her hand and brought it to his lips. “Though even the most perfect diamonds don’t sparkle the way your eyes do.” His eyes were the ones sparkling at the moment as he looked up at her through his eyelashes, his head bent over her hand.

He smiled as he heard her burbling laughter. “You are an inveterate flirt. You realize that you don’t have to flirt with your wife, don’t you? You have caught me, and there is no tossing me back like an undersized fish.”

That thought would not do. He looked her in the eyes, all laughter gone. “I will court you every day for the rest of your life. I do not want there to be a day where you do not fall more in love with me, for I know I will love you more every day for the rest of my life.”

“Even the days that I make you buy a peacock?” The teasing question failed to mask the depth of emotion in her voice.

“Even then.”

She smiled and stroked the smile line that bracketed his mouth. “Just promise me, no raising the rents on your tenants to buy me things that sparkle. I don’t want people to suffer on my behalf. I have caused enough misery in my life already.”

“Do you think I would do that?”

“No. I know you are not Prince John. It is just that I do not deserve these gifts.”

“Ellie, you deserve every happiness this world has to provide.”

“No more so than anyone else. I keep thinking about Mary. She had no control over who her parents were. I was lucky that my parents were married. I am lucky that I fell in love with a man who loves me back. I am lucky that the man I love is ridiculously wealthy and handsome and generous. There are so many other people who are in situations so much worse than my own who do not merit them, but have been given them by chance and fortune.”

It both hurt and humbled him that she felt that way. “Let me see if I can assuage your guilt, darling. There were several pieces of jewelry lost with the family in the accident. They were insured and that is how I paid for your necklace. I was thinking that beyond helping to rebuild the jewels that belong to the Countess of Carlisle, it would also be the start of a new tradition, something worn by the Carlisle women on their wedding day.” He kissed her gently. “So I did not just buy it for you. I bought if for our daughters and our granddaughters. Maybe if you think about it as each blossom is gifted to a different descendant, it will make the gift a little easier to accept. You are simply holding it in trust for your children.”

“That does make it easier.”

“And, my love, it is easy to give you diamonds because you do not expect them, and because your heart is tender enough to care about those who do not have them. There are many people in our stewardship that will benefit from your gentle and loving heart. You will be a perfect helpmeet for the lord as well as the man.”

The carriage pulled to a halt in front of Standford and Henry escorted her inside. Even as the first back from the church, they were not alone as servants were busily finishing the preparations for the wedding breakfast. Henry kissed her once more and then held her in his arms, the sheer gauze of her veil rubbing against his jaw, content for the moment to be with her in this momentary lull in the day’s activities. It had felt like forever since he had held her in his arms, and right now this was enough. He knew there would be time for other activities later.

A few hours later, Ellie sat at the dressing table in her bedroom.  She remembered much more about the ride from the church with Henry and those few minutes holding him in the foyer than she did of either the wedding or the breakfast that had followed. But finally, the ceremony and ritual and toasts and cake were finished. Her husband awaited her downstairs along with the family and friends who had gathered for their wedding breakfast. Her wedding gown had been left on the bed after she had changed out of it. Victoria, who she would now have to get used to calling Browning, one more change in a day full of them, adjusted the small hat atop Ellie’s piled curls as she surveyed herself in her new traveling suit. She was ready now to leave with Henry for their honeymoon. She walked down the stairs to where Henry awaited her. He took her hand in his, and after a few brief farewells, they exited the home and he helped her into the waiting carriage. He seated himself next to her as the footman shut the door after him. As the carriage rolled away, Ellie started to laugh. Henry turned a quizzical eye towards her. “What delights you so, my wife?” He delighted in calling her that.

“I had a sudden panic that we had forgotten to wait for our chaperone before we left.”

Henry smiled at her. “No more chaperones.”

Ellie nodded cheerfully, and then hesitated, catching her breath as she saw the desire in Henry’s expression.

She leaned towards him, and he met her halfway, catching her face in his hands as his lips met hers. Slowly, carefully, as if learning each other for the first time, their kisses were full of love as tender as the flowers she had carried in her bouquet that morning. Later there would be passion and hunger, but at this moment, they just wanted to reconnect, to find each other again after a forced separation. After a few minutes, Ellie slowly broke the kiss and rested her head on Henry’s shoulder. Finding her hat to be in the way, she unpinned it and threw it on the bench across from them, where it landed next to Henry’s top hat, and snuggled back in to his shoulder. One of his arms wrapped around her and held her close against his body. The other sought out her hand, and clasped it in his in his lap. They stayed like that, quiet and content until they reached the train station.

On the train, Ellie started feeling slightly nervous. She remembered how she had wanted to engage in further amorous activities with Henry that night after the library, but right now she couldn’t really remember why. Her knowledge of what to expect that night was based on a fairly clinical “The Young Lady and what to expect in marriage and childbirth” class taught by a nurse at her school two years ago, and one shocking evening a month previous in which a group of young married women had decided to take it upon themselves to give her advice on how to survive the wedding night. Their collection of horror stories and helpful tips had congealed into a great uneasy ball of panic that was settling in her stomach.

Henry noticed her unease as she straightened the trim on her jacket for the dozenth time in the last few minutes. He placed a hand over hers. “Your jacket looks fine.” Ellie smiled nervously and apologized for disturbing him. She was calm for a few minutes and then started toying with the pleated ribbon again.

Henry fought back a smile. “You will survive tonight, I promise.”

Her eyes flew to his face. “What do you mean?”

“You’re suddenly more fidgety that a cat with kittens. My assumption is that now that everything else is done, the only thing you have left to worry about is the wedding night and whether or not you will survive the rapacious monster that is your husband.” There was laughter in his voice.

“I don’t think you’re a monster!”

“But you are worried, aren’t you?” He touched her cheek softly and she looked down as a blush crept up from under the collar of her jacket. “It’s to be expected. No one tells women anything good about it, and I think women delight in scaring each other over who had the worst experience. But I promise you, Ellie,” he leaned in so his breath feathered over her ear and cheek, and whispered, “you will have the most amazing night of your life tonight.”

Her breath caught in her throat as Henry kissed her cheek softly before kissing the delicate skin where her jaw met her ear and then down her throat. The high neckline of her coat prevented too much amorous exploration, but Ellie felt the remembered desire starting to rise in her body. Several minutes passed as Henry slowly and thoroughly explored her neck, her jawline and finally her mouth. His tongue dipped between her lips in a forecast of what would follow that evening. Ellie slowly broke away from Henry’s kiss and trailed her lips along Henry’s jawline. Hesitant at first, she gained confidence as his breathing grew ragged from her lips trailing down his neck. Daringly, she reached up and pulled at his cravat. Untying it and parting his collar with her hands, her lips sought out the newly exposed skin, and, following his lead, she let her tongue explore the hollow at the base of his throat. Remembering how he had nipped at her shoulder, she gently sank her teeth into his collarbone, and then licked the mark she had left before kissing it better. His guttural moan at the feel of her teeth on his skin sent fire flooding through her veins.

“Ellie,” his voice was rough, “unless you want to consummate our marriage on this train bench, I think you should stop now.”

She slowly drew back, and a mischievous pout adorned her face as she said, “And I was just starting to figure out what I was doing.”

“Madam, if that’s you just starting to figure it out, I look forward to helping you achieve mastery.”

The rest of their train ride was occupied by Ellie’s insistence on learning how to tie a cravat. Their laughter drew them as close together as their kisses. Henry’s cravat would never recover.


	29. Chapter 29

One ferry and another carriage ride later, Henry and Ellie arrived at the estate of one of Henry’s friends on the Isle of Wight. Henry had been offered the house to use since it wouldn’t be occupied. The housekeeper showed them to adjoining rooms and a servant brought them a simple dinner that could be eaten cold if they didn’t get to it right away. Henry kissed Ellie on her forehead and said, “Take your time. I’ll be in my room when you’re ready,” and left through the door that connected their rooms.

Browning helped her out of her travelling attire, unlaced her corset, and removed her bustle and stockings. Ellie felt like she had spent all day being dressed and undressed but knew there was one more change of clothing required. Browning brought her the box that had been tucked in her luggage. “Do you want to open it, or shall I?”

Fighting back nerves that made her feel slightly queasy, Ellie opened the box.  She unfolded the sheets of tissue paper to reveal a deep pink dressing gown. The silk was embroidered all over in roses of paler pink and the lapels and hem were bordered in velvet. It even had a slight train. She let out a relieved sigh. She had been dreading something much more revealing, but this was feminine and beautiful and modest. She reached into the box to get the nightgown. Her hand froze as she unfolded another layer of tissue and saw what lay beneath.  Trembling, she pulled out the nightgown.  It was in the same light pink as the roses, but it was of a semi-sheer silk. Deep pink roses were embroidered around the hem that fell to just above her knees. It didn’t have sleeves. It didn’t really even have shoulders. Instead, the straps were deep pink ribbons that tied. And untied. Ellie was horrified. That wasn’t a nightgown. It was barely even a chemise.  There wasn’t enough of it and what was there wasn’t there enough. She had a basic idea of what was supposed to happen this evening; she just hadn’t realized it was going to require so much to be uncovered in the process.

Browning saw the panic in Ellie’s face and took the gown away from her. She made Ellie sit and then fetched her a cup of tea from the dinner that was laid out. Carefully she took down Ellie’s elaborate coiffure and brushed her hair smooth until it shone like the wing of a raven in the lamplight and could see that most of the stress had dissipated. Only then did she help Ellie out of her chemise and into the lingerie with many gentle comments about how pretty it was.

After listening to a few more soothing remarks that she would be fine and that her husband loved her and that women had survived this for thousands of years, Ellie finally gained the courage to dismiss Browning for the evening. Taking a deep breath to calm her jitters – how quickly they returned and took up residence – Ellie knocked quietly on the door to Henry’s bedchamber. He called out for her to enter and, after pulling her robe tighter around her, she turned the door handle. The soft greens and blues of her room were found in darker shades in his. Henry had been lounging on the bed but stood as she entered. He was wearing a dark green dressing gown over pyjama pants but no shirt. She almost fled as her nerves got the better of her, but she turned and shut the door instead. She swallowed nervously and turned back around and started in surprise at finding him right in front of her. The deep pile of the rugs on the floor had muffled his footsteps.

He took her hands in his and tugged her gently away from the door and towards the center of the room. He ducked his head so he could look her directly in the eyes. “You don’t have to worry, Ellie. We’ll go as slow as you want, okay?” She nodded in response, afraid that her voice would crack if she spoke. He leaned in and gave her the gentlest of kisses and as she returned the caress, her fears began to melt away like frost before sunlight. He slowly stood as they kissed and Ellie tipped up her chin to keep their mouths together. For several minutes they simply kissed as Henry harnessed his desire to the goal of Ellie having a blissful experience. He let her be the first to suckle at a lip and waited for her to slide her arms around his neck before he pulled her flush against his body. He slowly kissed down her neck and nosed inside the collar of her dressing gown. As he lovingly kissed and licked the flushing skin, he pressed his hand to her breast and cupped it through her gown. He could feel the surprise ripple through her, especially the way her throat fluttered under his mouth with her shocked little gasp of breath but she didn’t protest. As he started stroking the peak in lazy circles, she arched her back, pressing into his palm.

He untied the belt of her dressing gown but didn’t attempt to remove it. He let it fall open, and as he brought his lips to hers again, he moved his hand inside the robe and cupped her breast through the thin fabric of her nightgown. Ellie froze in surprise. His hand was so warm and the fabric so thin that it was as if he was touching her directly. He squeezed her breast softly and she whimpered against his lips. He watched her reaction as he began to stroke the hard bud, feeling it peak even more as under his caresses until her cheeks acquired the hue of the roses in her gown.

Henry slid his other hand inside her robe, letting it rest on the curve of her hip as he nudged her back into a kiss. Ellie couldn’t focus on the kiss as she felt her body responding to his hands. She had never felt her breasts be so sensitive or known how eager she would be to have him continue pulling up the side of her gown so his hand could rest directly against her hip. His lips were on that spot on her neck again where it felt like she might melt if he stayed there long enough, and she couldn’t decide if she liked the feel of his lips or his tongue or his teeth the most. 

His kisses continued across her shoulder, moving the robe out of the way as he went. His hands sought hers behind his neck, and he gently pulled them down to her side so that the robe could finish falling off. As it pooled about her feet, he looked her up and down in worshipful appreciation. Her full breasts were high and firm and her nipples were hard against the fabric, and he could see the dark cleft of her thighs. Her eyelids were heavy as she looked up at him. She seemed a little lost, as if she wasn’t quite certain what was happening, but when she saw the way he was looking at her, she shivered and covered herself with her hands.

“Ellie.” His voice was a command. She shyly looked up at him. The love that she saw there overwhelmed her. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known. You don’t need to be embarrassed with me.” He pulled her into an embrace with her head nestled under the crook of his chin. One hand looped around her waist, while with his other hand he stroked her hair. After a minute or so, Ellie gingerly touched the skin exposed by the V of his dressing gown. Her fingers brushed against the hair on his chest and she giggled, surprised by the springy texture. He made himself keep stroking her hair as she continued to explore his chest, testing the resiliency of the muscled flesh under her fingers. She brushed against a nipple and was surprised by his sharp intake of breath. She looked up at him and did it again and then smiled as it responded to her touch much the way she had responded to his. Growing more confident, she rested her hands on the belt of his gown and then looked up at him questioningly. He nodded, and she fumbled with the belt, suddenly nervous. He helped her undo the knot and shrugged out of the robe, letting it join hers on the floor.

Ellie looked at him wide-eyed, reaching out to touch him and then pausing. She had been touching his chest just a few moments earlier, but seeing all of it like this was much more overwhelming than it had been when most of it was covered. “You’re very handsome. I didn’t realize real men looked like statues. I thought those were just exaggerations.”

Henry laughed. “It probably depends on the statue.”

She tentatively placed her hand against his chest. His skin burned as she trailed her hands across his chest, his shoulders, down his arms, watching the muscles shift as he moved in response to her touches. She traced the line of his hip until the vee disappeared beneath the waist of his pants, completely unaware at how hard Henry was fighting for control. She prodded him with a single fingertip to the shoulder. “Turn around.”

Shaking his head in amusement, he followed her instructions and turned around so his back was facing her. He hissed in a breath as she touched him, her hands stroking over his shoulders and back. “Your skin is so warm. I don’t think I’ll ever be cold at night again.”

“That is my plan.”

She kissed the center of his back. “You are all smooth skin over hard muscle. It makes me feel strange.”

“Strange how?” He thought his voice sounded strange, rougher than normal and deeper as well.

She pressed herself against him, finding it easier to feel his bare skin against her for the first time when he also wasn’t watching her. “Small and vulnerable, but in a good way, that I have found someone big and strong to protect me, and tingly and excited at the same time. I don’t think there is a word for feeling all those things together.” She linked her arms around his waist, clasping her hands together and smiled as the trail of his chest hair tickled against her palm.

“There is a word for that feeling, darling.”

“Is there?” She rubbed her cheek against his skin. “I fear I don’t know it.”

He turned in her arms and tilted her chin up to him with a gentle hand on her face. “It’s called arousal,” he murmured against her lips. He licked his lips slowly as her eyes widened and her breath caught. “It’s your body’s way of telling you that you want to make love to me.”

He tugged at the bow on her shoulder, letting the ribbon slowly slide against her skin as it came undone. She closed her eyes as he moved to the other bow, gently pulling it loose as well, and shivered at the feel of the cool silk sliding down over her skin and hanging for a moment from her breasts before it fell. She could sense Henry stepping back to let it continue its descent and felt it brush against her feet as it joined their other clothing on the floor. Through all this, Henry hadn’t moved his face, leaving his lips almost but not quite against hers. His breath was warm against her mouth and she knew her breathing wasn’t nearly as steady as his, but it wasn’t until she felt his fingers close over her bare breast that she moved that final distance to kiss him.

She needed that something familiar, the feel of his lips against hers, to anchor her against the newness of being touched in such an unfamiliar way. And yet, as his thumb rubbed over the already taut peak, she found it difficult to focus on his mouth, all of her body suddenly concentrating on how he was touching her. He tugged gently at the hardened bud and her breathing shattered. He traced the line of her spine with a few fingertips and she shuddered, arching her back and letting her head fall back as his hand came to rest on her rear, squeezing the curving flesh. Before she knew what was happening, his mouth closed around one firm nipple, sucking it gently and rolling it between his teeth. She gasped and grabbed his head in surprise. Henry felt her knees buckle before she did, and scooped her up into his arms.

She clung to him, burying her face against his throat so she couldn’t see as he carried her to the large four poster bed that dominated the room. He knelt on the bed and lowered her onto the middle of the mattress and then stretched himself out alongside her nude body. He returned his mouth to her breast, drawing circles around her nipple with his tongue that his thumb echoed on her other breast. He could tell she was completely lost to what she was feeling and its newness and it was his responsibility to ensure her enjoyment.

Henry leaned over to flick her other nipple with his tongue and slid his hand down the gentle slope of her stomach. He brushed his knuckles against the hair at the cleft of her thighs. She tensed and he repeated the caress as he sucked her nipple into his mouth, nipping at it gently with his teeth. She slowly relaxed under the repeated touches and he slid his hand between her thighs, cupping her mound with his palm. He kept his hand still as he trailed his lips up her chest, and then nipped at the soft skin of her neck. At her gasp of pleasure, he started to slowly stroke her with the softest touch. When she lifted her hips, seeking out a stronger touch, he smiled and applied more pressure, slipping his middle finger in between her wet folds. Her legs spasmed shut, locking his hand in place as she struggled to accept the new intimacy. He didn’t move his hand as he went back to her breasts, licking and sucking at the sensitive skin until she relaxed again. He scraped his teeth against the rosy skin and he felt her nails scrape across his scalp as he heard her gasp once more.

The surprised gasp gave way to a soft moan as he stroked his finger up and down her wetness for the first time. Quickly, her hips starting moving in time with the ministration of his hands, and each breath for air became a soft little note of pleasure. He slowly slid a finger inside of her and watched as her eyes rolled back. He desperately wanted to be inside her, but this, helping her come undone for the first time with no thought to his own satisfaction, was the most important thing he could do right now. He started stroking his finger in and out of her silken wetness as his thumb sought out and stroked her clit. His smile was fiercely possessive as one of her hands scratched down his back, and the other one fisted in the sheet as he touched the sensitive little nub for the first time.

Ellie could barely think she was so overwhelmed by the new sensations flooding her body. She had no idea that anything could feel like this. She didn’t know how her body knew what to do but she found that her hips moved of their own accord, rotating against his hand and then pushing against his intruding finger. If she had any energy left to care, she might have been embarrassed by her wantonness, the way she luxuriated in the feel of his skin under her fingers, the taste of him when he kissed her, the warmth of his body pressed against her bare skin. She didn’t care though. All she cared about was the way her body felt as he kissed her and touched her and the burning ache she had for more.

He kissed her firmly, tugging at her bottom lip with his teeth, as he slipped another finger in with the first and she cried out his name as his hand moved in tempo with her body. He quickened the pace, spreading his fingers inside her, enhancing the desire that had taken her body captive. Her entire body was taut as a bow and she dug her heels into the sheet for purchase as her teeth sank into her bottom lip.

Ellie had no idea what was happening to her body. It felt like she was on fire, as if every part of her body had turned to lightning and ice. A wild animal had taken up residence in her stomach and demanded to be fed, to be given more of whatever it was Henry was doing to her body that caused such sweet magic. She was clinging to him, to the bed, to anything that gave her a point of reference in her increasingly tenuous grasp on reality. He was warm and solid and strong, and she felt like the wind blowing around a mountain as she dug her fingers into his back. “Henry,” she cried softly, “I feel like,” she gasped for breath, “I’m going to explode.” 

His mouth closed on hers briefly, and then he murmured, “You’re doing perfect, just enjoy it, just let it go.”  He crooked his fingers, seeking out the special spot that she didn’t even know she had, and when he found it she cried his name. Her fingers scrabbled at his back. The knuckles of her other hand were almost as white as the sheet she was clutching, and with a few final flicks of his thumb she convulsed and then froze for a long moment. He savored the look of pure ecstasy on her face as her orgasm rolled through her and left her body quivering with delight.

Ellie lay limp on the bed. She felt like there was light shining from her fingers and toes and from where Henry had been touching her. She was positive that if she opened her eyes, she would be glowing. Warm liquid waves coasted through her, and it felt like she was in a bath the size of an ocean. She slowly opened her eyes and smiled up at her husband. Henry watched her, his head propped up on one hand, enchanted with his new bride’s passion and willingness to bask naked in its afterglow and his gaze. He started to draw lazy circles on her stomach with his forefinger and elicited a peal of laughter. “That tickles!”

She rolled over to face him and tickle him in return when she realized he still had her arm trapped beneath his. She tried pulling it free, but he playfully refused. “I kind of like having you pinned naked in my bed.” She was about to respond when she noticed the scratch marks on his shoulder.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! Your poor shoulder!” Her hand flew to her mouth. “Does it hurt? Are you okay?”

Henry laughed delightedly and with a firm hand on the back of her head, pulled her down for a kiss.

She put her hand over his mouth before he could kiss her. “I’m serious! Do I need to call for a towel or some ice?”

Her genuine concern cut through his amusement and he let her arm go and reached up both hands to hold her face. “Darling, I will proudly wear whatever marks you give me when we make love. Knowing that I can make you lose control to the point where you scratch your nails down my back like a wild animal makes them lose their sting.”

Ellie felt even more embarrassed by this comment. She truly had lost control of herself. “Is it like this every time?” she asked hesitantly.

He pulled her gently down to him and murmured against her lips, “It is if you’re doing it right.”

Ellie melted into his kiss, all embarrassment lost to the pleasure of his lips on hers. He pushed her gently on to her back and he rolled on top of her, supporting his weight on his elbows propped on either side of her head. Ellie instinctively parted her thighs to give him room, and they lay together like that for several minutes as they slowly kissed each other on the lips, face, and throat. Ellie stroked her hands across Henry’s chest and back, quickly becoming addicted to the feel of his skin under her hands and thinking that there was something utterly delicious about feeling his weight over her.

Henry levered himself up on to his knees and undid the drawstring at his waist. He lowered his pyjama pants but was not prepared for the sudden look of shock that crossed Ellie’s face.

“Where does  _that_ go?”

Henry looked down at himself and then back at her, unprepared for this kind of reaction. “Inside you,” he answered slowly, almost as a question.

She scrambled for the edge of the bed. “No, it doesn’t!”

He caught her by the ankle before she made good her escape. “Ellie, calm down.”

“You put your pants back on!”

“If I do will you calm down and stay on the bed?”

Refusing to look at him, she nodded hesitantly and he used his free hand to pull up the front of his pants. Ellie relaxed slightly and Henry let go of her ankle, but left his hand resting on her foot. They stared at each other across the bed for several long moments. Henry cleared his throat. “I’m really not sure what to say here.”

“Why is it that big?” She sounded betrayed.

“My penis?” Henry sounded startled.

“Yes!” There was a slight edge of hysteria to her voice. “I’ve been to museums. I’ve seen sculptures. They normally don’t look like that!”

Henry tried to keep from laughing. “That’s because you’ve probably never seen a sculpture in bed with a beautiful naked woman that he’s spent the last hour making love to.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Henry thought for a moment. “You embroider, right?”

Ellie nodded, bewildered by the seeming non-sequitir.

“Why do you use a needle instead of just poke the thread through the fabric?”

“Because the thread would just bend. It’s not strong enough to push through.”

“Right. Well,” he closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath, “men are kind of like thread and kind of like needles. Most of the time our penises are smaller and soft, but when we want to make love to a woman, it swells with blood and gets hard and stands away from the body. If it didn’t, we would never be able to put it inside a woman and make love to her.” Henry was hoping this made sense. He hadn’t realized his beloved would be quite so naïve when it came to these matters.  For all the flirting she had been accused of doing, he was increasingly convinced it had merely been her normal passionate enthusiasm for life combined with a healthy dose of pure innocent cluelessness to the physical effect she had on men.

“So, that…” she started and trailed off, waving her hand in his general direction.

“Erection?” Henry volunteered.

“Right. That’s…normal?”

“It is when I’m around you, dearest.” Henry watched the full impact of that statement fly right over Ellie’s head.

“So, it’s supposed to look like that, be that big, I mean.”

Henry nodded.

She frowned, her brow furrowing in a way that Henry was sure he would have found delightful in a different setting. “That just seems like it would hurt.”

“It will a little at first, and maybe even the first few times, but your body will adjust. And it can even feel better than what we did before.” Henry was not about to lie to her about any potential pain.

“Really?” She sounded doubtful as her eyes narrowed in skepticism.  “That’s not just something men tell women so they’ll go along with that lovely first bit we already did?”

“Do you trust me?”

Ellie nodded.

“I promise you, you will like this.”

Ellie took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, and then let it out. “Okay. But if you’re lying I will…” she searched for words, “I will think of something not nice and do it to you!”

He crawled across the bed to her. “If you don’t like it,” he dropped a kiss on her lips, “you never have to do it again.”

Ellie nodded. “Alright then.”

He kissed her again and felt all the tension and nervousness that he had helped her get rid of before had reoccupied her body. He kept the kisses tender and gentle until she started relaxing and then pulled her down onto the mattress and cradled her in his arms, the kisses continuing and roving further afield as his hands restoked the fire in her.

Ellie luxuriated in his kisses, loving this feel of his lips against her neck. She was surprised at how much she enjoyed the touch of his hand on her bottom pulling her against him, but she was also happy to find that he had the same reaction when she hesitantly slid her hand down his back and over the silk of his pyjamas.

He pressed his hips gently against her, testing to see how she would react. He was delighted when she pushed back against him. He hooked her leg over his, letting his hardness rub against her more obviously, and though her eyes widened, she didn’t show any other signs of fear or concern. When her breathing was ragged and her body was moving against him, he gently pushed her onto her back. He knelt between her knees and with one hand pulled down the front of his pants. His eyes sought hers.

“Just look at my eyes, darling. Just look at my eyes,” he murmured.

He slid one hand under her bottom and lifted her hips. He wrapped his other hand around his length and stroked it slowly up and down her wetness, making sure to brush it against her clit a few times, reminding her of all the pleasure she had already felt. When it was thoroughly wet, he positioned it at her entrance.

Using all the restraint he could muster, he slowly pushed inside of her. Her eyes widened at the intrusion, and he pulled back out. He repeated this gradual claiming over and over, deepening his penetration each time. He had never seen anything as beautiful as the look on her face as she absorbed him into her body. It was like watching someone discover an entirely new world that was both strange and lovely. Her little whimpers of delight sounded like music to him.

He paused and leaned down to kiss her softly, resting his weight on his forearms on either side of his head. “This next part might hurt.” She took a deep breath and held her breath, tensing against what would come next. He kissed her until she let the breath go and relaxed again, and then with one hard push he buried himself in her to the hilt, throwing his head back with a guttural cry of ecstasy. She cried out softly, and her next few breaths were gasps for air. He held still as she squirmed, trying to adjust to the sensation of being filled so completely. When the look on her face turned from discomfort to dawning pleasure with her movements he knew everything was going to be fine.

He slid his hand slowly down her side, caressing the side of her breast, the curve in of her waist and out of her hip and then down her leg, wrapping his fingers around her calf and hooking it up around his waist. She repeated the motion with her other leg and he started to slowly thrust in and out of her body as he kissed her. Her arms wrapped around his back and her fingers tangled in his hair as they moved together. Again, Ellie’s body possessed knowledge her mind did not and her hips pushed up to meet his in perfect rhythm. They moved together, slow and steady, bodies like waves breaking against the shore until her breath started coming in short little gasps, moaning with need on almost every one of his thrusts. His breathing was just about as ragged as hers, but determined to have her climax first, he slipped his hand between their bodies and sought out her clit, stroking it again with his thumb while he trailed kisses down her neck, adding to the sensual onslaught as his hips moved faster. She cried out his name, once, twice, and then the third time it broke off into an indecipherable cry of hedonistic joy. He felt her body clenching around his shaft and pulling him with her. He managed two more deep thrusts before he spent himself in her, his head thrown back and crying out her name in ecstasy as she clung to his shaking shoulders.

When he had stopped trembling, he kissed along her sweat-dampened hairline and then rolled onto his back, pulling her with him so she was cradled against his body and her head rested on his chest. He heard her murmur, ‘You kept your promise,’ before she fell fast asleep.


	30. Chapter 30

Ellie woke alone in the bed, though, as she discovered when she rolled over, not alone in the room. Henry was squatting in front of the hearth, adding extra wood to the fire and stoking the flames. He stood and stretched and she had to smile at the sight he made with no shirt on and the firelight highlighting the way his muscles shifted under his skin. He grinned as he noticed she was awake and watching him and picked up a bowl off of the hearth.

Henry sat down on the edge of the bed and bent over to kiss her. “How are you feeling, lovely lady?”

“Happy.” She smiled. “A little sore,” and here she blushed, “but very happy.”

Henry dipped a towel in the water in the bowl. “I warmed this by the fire, so it shouldn’t be such a shock.” He spread her legs slightly and gently cleansed her, rinsing the towel in the ewer of water. He placed the pink streaked cloth in the basin and set it on the floor. “There, we shouldn’t have to deal with that again.”

He stretched out next to her on the bed. She seemed far away in thought. “What are you thinking, my love?”

She looked at him seriously. “I don’t think we could have done that on a train bench. I’m fairly certain we would have fallen off.”

His laughter echoed off the walls of the bed chamber. He leaned over and kissed her, and then murmured against her lips, “You, my dear, are a delight.”

“Well, do you think we could have?” she asked as she kissed him back.

“Maybe not in that position, but I’m sure we could find one that would work if you want to try it.” He tugged gently on her bottom lip with his teeth and drank in the little sound of pleasure she made.

She pulled back with a questioning look on her face. “There are other positions?” she asked. “Like in ballet?”

“Oh, yes,” he replied, trying to keep a devilish grin from spreading across his face.

“Like what?”

“Well,” he propped his head on his hand so he could watch her expression, “for a train ride, I could push up your skirt, and you would sit astride my lap like you were riding a horse.”

“Oh!” A flush spread across her cheeks, but he didn’t see any repulsion, just curiosity, and perhaps budding interest.

“Or we could make love like that with you atop me in bed. Or I could turn you over and take you from behind, with my chest against your back, or we could do it just like we are on our sides, facing each other. Or standing, or on the table in the main dining at home, or on my desk…” his voice trailed off as he saw her blush heighten and eyes widen. He smiled ruefully. “I had a lot of time to think of what I wanted to do with you over the last three months.” His voice was rough but his touch was gentle as he stroked her hair back from her face.

“And you want to try all those…positions?”

“All those and more.”

“That’s the purpose of the wedding journey, isn’t it?” she asked, realization dawning. “So men can get all this out of their system.”

“Men never really get this out of their systems, darling.”

“Really? You mean you will want to do more of this a year from now?” She seemed surprised.

“A minute from now,” he kissed her on her mouth, “an hour from now,” her neck, “a day from now,” her collarbone, “a week from now,” her chest, “a month from now,” her left nipple, “a year from now,” her right, “forever, as long as I am married to you.” He suckled at the hardening nub, flicking it with his tongue. She moaned in delight at the sensation.

“Will it always be with me?” Her voice was quiet.

Henry’s head froze for a moment, and then he looked up at her. “What was that?”

“I may be fairly innocent when it comes to the mechanics, but I have more experience than I need in understanding the wavering fidelity of men. I know you have done this before and I want to know what to expect when it comes to your future amorous activities. Will you–”

Henry placed a finger on her lips. “Only you, Ellie. I promise. Only you.”

She nodded, but there were tears welling in her eyes.

“Hey now, no crying,” he wiped away a tear that spilled over onto her cheek.

She sniffed delicately as she tried to blink back tears. The wetness just made her eyelashes look even darker and longer than normal. “It’s okay, they’re happy tears.”

He leaned back into the pillows and pulled her against his side. She rested her head on his shoulder and placed her hand over his heart. He put one hand back behind his head, and with his other hand he stroked her hair, combing out the tangles he had helped put in it earlier until it was as smooth as her skin. After a while, Ellie started tracing random designs on Henry’s chest with a fingertip. The lazy circles and spirals being drawn on his skin were almost hypnotic and lulled him into a contented rest with his eyes closed, savoring the happiness of the day and the feel of his wife pressed against him. It was only when she spoke that he realized how low on his stomach her fingers were drawing.

“Husband,” she said as she looped around his navel, “could I see your penis?”

He almost choked in surprise as he woke from his half doze. “You want to look at it?”

“Yes. I mean, if that’s not improper, that is.” Her voice was soft and slightly unsteady.

“No, I mean yes, you can, it’s not improper.” His voice was slightly unsteady as well.

He undid the waist tie on his pants and then shoved them down his hips as she sat up and folded her legs under her. He lay back and watched her look at him.

“It’s such an odd looking thing,” she said quietly. “I mean, really,” with a note of laughter in her voice, “though I guess it’s designed for function and not for looks.” She looked up at Henry, and continued, “and it definitely functions well.” The curve to her lips only highlighted the sparkle in her eyes.

She reached out a hand and then stopped. “Can I touch it?”

Henry nodded, unsure of his voice.

She lightly touched it with one fingertip. It had already begun to swell in response to her attention, and as she slowly explored, it continued to harden until it was completely erect. “It’s so smooth,” she said wonderingly, “and it’s hard, but it’s soft as well, like someone has wrapped the fireplace poker in a silk robe.” Henry was struggling to keep his breathing steady as she explored his shaft. “And then, you get to the tip and it’s…I don’t even have words for it.” Her finger wrote circles on the head, spiraling outward, and when she brushed the sensitive spot on the underside, Henry moaned. Ever the quick learner, she recognize the moan as a sound of pleasure and stroked that same spot again, looking up at him to see his reaction. His eyes were locked on hers, hot with want.

“So, it’s not just me that likes being touched. I’ll have to remember that.” She smiled at him mischievously and went back to her explorations. Her fingers delicately stroked him, exploring his testicles one at a time before heading back up to his throbbing shaft. She wrapped her fingers around the base and then stroked it from bottom to top, keeping her hand fisted around it. Her thumb sought out that delicate spot on the underside of his shaft and rubbed it as she got to the top. Henry made a sound that Ellie had never heard before. Her eyes flew to his face, wondering if she had done something wrong. “Did that hurt?”

“No,” he said, “no, that felt really good.” Henry managed to get out those few words. He wanted to tell her to do it again, but didn’t want to scare her.

“Oh good,” she said. She licked her lips nervously. “I didn’t want to hurt it just because I don’t know what I’m doing.” She was still holding his penis. “It doesn’t seem so scary now. I think I just had to get used to it.” She leaned over and laughingly placed a kiss right on the tip. When Henry felt her wet lips on him, he let out all the air in his lungs in a sudden gasp that was almost a moan. Ellie looked up at him in surprise, and then out of curiosity, bent over and kissed his penis again while watching his face. She smiled and said, “You really like this, don’t you?”

Henry nodded. “Very much, yes.” His voice was rough and smoky.

She leaned over and kissed him again, this time separating her lips so she could suck slightly on the crown.

“Oh, god, woman…”

Ellie giggled. She had no idea that she had this kind of effect on him or even that she  _could_ have this kind of an effect on him. Apparently she still had much to learn when it came to her relationship with her husband. Curious about what else he enjoyed, she tugged his pants farther down and moved over so she was kneeling between his legs. “Do you like this better,” she said, as she stroked the pad of her thumb over his sweet spot, “or this?” She bent over and kissed the same spot, watching him wide-eyed to see his reaction. He groaned and grabbed helplessly at the sheet under him. She smiled and did it again. Again he moaned. Hesitantly, she flicked her tongue out and ran it against his skin. She watched the muscles in his stomach quiver as he closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the pillows. She started to explore him with her tongue, just like she had with her fingers, constantly circling back to his most sensitive area. His breathing was heavy and ragged when she finally sucked the head of his cock into her mouth.

Henry let her lavish attention on it for a few more seconds before he reluctantly pulled her off. He wanted her to be more familiar with all the intimacies of making love and his response to her before she went any farther down that path. She looked up at him in concern, as if she had done something wrong, but he crooked a beckoning finger at her and she smiled again.

He sat up and helped pull her onto his lap, straddling his legs. She wrapped her arms about him and kissed him like it had been months and not minutes since she had been allowed to kiss him last. His hands slid to her rear and pulled her snugly against him as he nipped at her intruding tongue. His cock was trapped between their stomachs and he guided her hips into a slow rocking motion, helping her discover how to rub her clit against him as she moved, and with every rotation of her hips she made a little noise of delight.

Ellie couldn’t believe how amazing she felt. It was like people had been lying to her for her entire life about what a burden the marital bed was, and how distasteful she would find the act. The truth was nothing of the sort. She could feel Henry’s hands delightfullystroking over her body and his lips and tongue playing with hers, and his chest hair teasing against her breasts with every breath, and then there was that growing knot of tension in her belly that only seemed to intensify with every move of her hips was driving her onward, needing the release that she had only felt a few times before but wanted desperately to feel again.

Henry could feel how wet she was getting and he wasn’t sure how much longer he was going to last with her writhing in his lap so he wrapped his arms around her back and laid back against the pillows without breaking their kiss. He slid his hands down to her hips and lifted her so that he could nestle himself against her entrance. Her eyes widened and she looked down between their bodies to see what he was doing. “Go at your own pace, darling. Just as much as you want.”

It was like watching their first time again as she slowly sheathed him. He fought his own urges and remained still as she lowered herself gradually onto him and then pulled back over and over. Her eyes were screwed shut as if the only thing she could focus on was the way she felt taking him into her. She was about half way done when she pushed herself up into a sitting position. Her fingers splayed over his abdomen, and Henry couldn’t stifle the groan that tore its way from his throat as she started working her hips in a circular motion instead of up and down. Her teeth worried her bottom lip as she took him a little deeper with each rotation and he couldn’t help but start to move and soon he was fully seated inside her. He shifted one of his hands from her hip to her stomach and slid his thumb between them to rub against her clit. She gasped once and then started rubbing against him harder, and he felt her tense around his cock. She was so close already. He started circling his thumb against her clit as she rode him, her hips circumscribing her own circle of pleasure. Henry thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Her pale skin was flushed with desire and her full breasts swayed with each movement. He cupped one of them, squeezing the hard rosy nipple, and admired the elegant line of her throat as her head fell back, letting her hair cascade down behind her. Her nails scratched against his stomach as she reached for her release and he pressed a little harder and thrust a little deeper and her cracked cry of pleasure echoed as she started to clench around him. His thrusts propelled her through her orgasm and a few moments later he achieved the same ecstasy she had found with her name on his lips like a prayer.

She collapsed on his chest and he stroked her slick back with a light touch as her breathing slowly returned to normal. “I think I shall have to get a little journal to write down the different things we try and what you like and what I like.”

He chuckled. “If you do, madam, I shall enjoy going over your findings with you.”

She lifted her head from his chest and kissed him. “I’ll make sure to give a copy of the results to all participants.”


	31. Chapter 31

Ellie left Henry sleeping as she slipped out of bed in search of a few minutes of privacy to take care of her needs. She picked up her robe from the foot of the bed – she smiled as she realized Henry must have placed it there for her earlier – and went back into her rooms, picking up her discarded nightgown from the floor as she went. The tea had grown cold but she uncovered the platter of food and nibbled cold chicken and fruit while she changed into a new nightgown that left her feeling more covered. It was one thing to be naked while in Henry’s arms, but there was no way she was going to just swain about in the altogether as a matter of course. She was brushing the tangles out of her hair when she saw Henry’s reflection in the mirror. He was leaning against the doorway, watching her with a smile.

“Are you running away so soon?”

She smiled as she went to him, resting her hands on his bare chest as she raised her face for a kiss. “No, I’m not running away,” she said against his lips. “I was just putting on a nightgown.”

He toyed with the ribbon that held the bodice closed. “You know I’m just going to take this off of you again, right?”

She slapped at his hand playfully. “Shouldn’t you be tired by now?”

Henry slid his hands down her back so he was clutching her rear and pulled her closer. “I’m never going to get tired of you.”

Ellie had not yet grown tired of touching Henry either. Her previous impulse to continually stroke him only intensified when she could touch bare skin instead of his jacket or cravat.  “Why do I love your chest so much? I just want to pet you.”

Henry chuckled. “You can pet me whenever you want.”

She pressed her lips against his neck. “Why do you have so much chest hair?”

“That’s the way God made me.”

“Robert doesn’t have this much.”

He shrugged. “Men, like women, are all different. God made all women, but he made you the most beautiful of them all.”

 She giggled and continued to stroke her hands over his chest. “And he made you the most handsome and charming man ever to walk the earth. I am very happy with my unique specimen.”

“Good, because I am afraid you can’t exchange me for another one.” His arms tightened around her.

“I wouldn’t want to. I love you. I can’t even imagine being married to another man. You are not allowed to die.”

“I have absolutely no plans to do so,” he laughed.

She glared up at him. “I mean it. No dying.”

He realized she was serious and was instantly beset by memories of her desperately weak and gasping for breath. “I will do my best.” He kissed her on her forehead. “The last thing I would want is to hurt you in any way.”

“Good.” She rested her heat on his shoulder and hugged him tightly.

Henry held her for a minute before getting distracted by what she was wearing. His fingers trailed over the lace yoke of her nightgown. “This looks different from what you wore before we married.”

Ellie blushed as she remembered that night in his library where he had seen her in a nightgown. “It’s new.”

He tugged on the neckline, pulling it over so that one shoulder was bared. “You acquired new nightgowns for our marriage?”

She nodded, wordless as his fingers stroked along the exposed skin.

“Did you pick out the lace yourself?”

“No,” she whispered as he placed kisses along her collarbone. “The  _modiste_ said I would not indulge myself enough so she chose all the fabrics and trimmings.”

“It’s very pretty on you.”

“Thank you, my lord.” She giggled. “I mean Henry.”

“As much as I think you look delectable in the lace, I may have to name this new neckline,” he pulled the ribbon tie undone, “to be my favorite change. So much nicer than buttons.”

“And why is that, Henry?” Her breath caught in her throat as his fingers brushed down her sternum.

He slid his hand inside the fabric and cupped her breast in his palm. “Because I can do this.” Her lashes fluttered closed as his thumb stroked her nipple. “Have I told you yet how beautiful your breasts are, my darling Ellie?”

She shook her head. “I don’t think you are supposed to say things like that.”

“Why not?” he whispered against her ear.

“It isn’t proper.”

He ran the tip of his tongue along her jaw line. “We’re married, darling. We can do all sorts of things now that used to be considered improper.” He gently squeezed her breast and she curled her fingers against his chest. “And you do have beautiful breasts.”

“Then am I allowed to say that every time I see the dimple in your chin that I want to kiss it?”

He smiled almost bashfully. “Yes, you are.”

She balanced on her toes and softly kissed his chin. “I have wanted to do that for months.”

“Is there anything else you have wanted to do?”

“We have done them all already. I fear that I knew so little of what to expect that my desires were very limited. I’m sorry if I have disappointed you in my ignorance, my lord.”

He gently gripped her chin and made her look at him. “Don’t ever think you have disappointed me in this. Your innocence has been a gift, and knowing that I’m the one who gets to help you learn is an honor. I couldn’t have asked for a better wedding night than the one I’ve had with you, darling.”

“I have another gift for you.” She pulled away from him and he reluctantly relinquished her breast, letting his fingers trail over her nipple as he extracted it from her gown. She fetched a small box she had left on a table earlier and handed it to him. He opened it and found inside a signet ring, etched with the seal of his house. “It is not much, especially considering the diamonds you gifted me, but I did not think that you had one of your own.”

“It’s perfect. Thank you.” He slipped it on his smallest finger. “Are you quite well, darling? I noticed that you’re walking a little stiffly.”

“I am afraid I am a little tender from our…activities, my lord.”

“Oh, of course. Of course you would be.” He was embarrassed to have forgotten this basic fact of female anatomy. Though he had previous sexual experience, caring for a virgin bride was new to him. “Well, then,” he picked her up in his arms and swung her around, eliciting a peal of laughter from Ellie, “let me make sure that you don’t have to walk anywhere else this evening.” He carried her back into his bedroom and curled up with her on the bed.

Once they had found a comfortable position, both of them stretched out facing each other and their faces a few inches apart on the same pillow, Henry gently stroked his hand across her collarbone, tugging the lace down so the curve of her shoulder was exposed. “You still call me ‘my lord’ sometimes.”

She blushed and looked down. Henry’s breath caught at the beauty of her dark lashes spread against the pink-tinged alabaster of her cheeks.  “It’s difficult to be so close to you all the time. I’m not used to this.”

“So you call me ‘my lord’ to push me away?”

“Not to push you away.” She placed her hand on his chest as she looked into his eyes. “I don’t want you to ever thing I would push you away. It’s just that all my life I’ve been told never to let a man close to me. I knew that eventually I would be expected to give my body to my husband and I’ve done so, and it has been wonderful. It’s just a big change to undergo in one day, from barely being allowed to kiss you, to being expected to allow you to do whatever you may choose with me. I know our intimacy is allowed now, but I’m not used to it yet and calling you my lord makes me  _feel_  proper.”

“What is my name, Ellie?”

“Henry.”

He kissed her softly on the lips. “Does it change when I kiss your mouth?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“How about if I kiss you here?” He pressed his lips to her exposed shoulder.

“No, it doesn’t.”

“What is my name, Ellie?”

“Henry.”

He cupped her breast through her nightdress. “And what is it now?”

She smiled. “It is still Henry.”

He kissed her again, a slow, increasingly familiar movement of their lips together. Henry slipped his hand inside her nightgown and firmly squeezed her breast. Ellie whimpered, a high soft noise of pleasure and surprise. “And how about now, Ellie?”

She rested her forehead against his. “Henry.”

“Yes.” He took her mouth again, more urgent than before, as he started to tease her nipple and make it harden under his touch. “And if I were to suckle at your breast, what would my name be?”

She gasped quietly at his shocking words. “It would still be Henry,” she managed to say, though her breath was a little shaky.

Henry grinned. “Are you sure about that, my lady?”

Ellie giggled at him calling her ‘my lady’ when he was touching her so intimately and nodded.

“Let us make a surety of your claim.” He freed her breast from the silken fabric covering it and kissed the pale skin before running the tip of his tongue over the nipple. He teased it into an even harder point before sucking it into his mouth and letting his teeth rake over the tender skin.

“Henry!”

He smiled against her breast. “That’s right. I’m still your Henry, regardless of what we’re doing.”

He looked up at her as he pulled up the hem of her nightdress, letting his fingers stroke up her leg as he gathered the thin fabric in his hand. Ellie shivered at the look in his eyes. His expression was even more intimate than the feel of his hands and mouth on her skin, and she felt her skin break out in a nervous prickle. The heat in her belly that had been smouldering for the last while broke into new flames.

“Am I still your Henry?” His hand rested on her hip, the gathered fabric resting in the curve of her waist as his fingers squeezed, rippling the smooth arc of her body.

“Yes. You are still my Henry.” She licked her lips as he moved his hand towards her center.

“Will you part your legs for your Henry?”

She let her head fall back and closed her eyes as she opened her body to him. He cupped her with a large hand and held her tenderly as he kissed her stomach. “Open your eyes, darling Ellie. Look at me, please.”

She forced herself to open her eyes. “You don’t have to be shy or embarrassed with me, Ellie.” He kissed the slight swell of her belly. “You are beautiful and I love you.” He circled her entrance with his fingertip and her eyelids fluttered as he slowly pushed inside, just up to the first knuckle.

“Henry,” she cried and her eyes fell closed again.

“That’s right, Ellie. Always your Henry.” He gently stroked her, not wanting to aggravate any soreness she might be experiencing and soon she was rocking her hips in time with his hand.

“Henry, please!”

“What do you want, Ellie?” Her pants for breath and her fingers tightly gripping the sheet told him exactly what she wanted but he wanted to hear her ask.

“I don’t know! Just… more, I want more, please, Henry.”

“Gladly, my darling Ellie.” With the next rock of her hips he slid his finger deeply into her wet tight warmth.

“Henry!” His name sounded like it pained her as her mouth fell open from the intrusion. The fire in her belly was spreading, licking up to her breasts and down to her toes, causing them to curl. It left marks of its passage in the flush spreading over her skin.

Henry bent and lapped at her delicate clit, just once, to gauge her reaction.

She sat practically upright and buried her hands in his hair. “Henry!”

He had never heard her sound so shocked. He licked again as her thighs clamped around his head had kept his mouth positioned just where it was convenient. He felt her body spasm in response but the only sound he heard was her sudden intake of breath. He kept stroking her clit with his tongue until she relaxed again, slowly falling back against the piles of pillows. Her hands stayed in his hair, but they went from a panicked grip to a more gentle holding. He nudged her legs open a little wider and started circling her clit with his tongue. A few moments later the tendons in her inner thighs began to stand out as she began to rock her hips against his mouth.

“Henry, please, I don’t know what to do.”

He looked up to make sure that she wasn’t actually crying even though she sounded distraught.

“You don’t have to do anything. Just enjoy it.” He pulled his hand from her long enough to hook her knees over his shoulders and then slipped his finger inside her again, pumping it into her a few times before he added a second to her tight heat. The musky taste of her met him again as he sucked her clit into his mouth and rubbed his tongue against the underside.

“Henry?” He could hear the tentative question in her voice, the fear at the unknown sensation mixed with the burning delight coursing through her. He pressed a little deeper, a little harder and she called his name again, but the fear was gone and he could hear her fraying grasp on reality become a little more tenuous. A few more touches of his tongue and fingers against her warmth and she was convulsing under him. She had his hair in her fists but any small bit of pain was more than overcome by the sound of her calling his name as she disintegrated under his touch.

He kissed her softly when she had recovered herself, and she curled into his body, her nightdress still askew but not caring. “No more ‘my lord’ when it’s just the two of us.”

She shook her head.  “Always my Henry.”

“Your Henry. Always. Only yours.”


	32. Chapter 32

Henry walked into his bedroom, tired from the day’s long journey, and was only partly surprised to see Ellie curled up in a big chair, reading a book by the gentle glow of the lamp. She looked up at the sound of his entrance and closed her novel.

“Good evening, husband.”

“I hope you haven’t been waiting long.” He pulled her to her feet and she kissed him while untying his cravat.

“It’s never too long to wait for you.”

Henry looked around his bedroom. “It’s a melancholy feeling, knowing that this is the last night I will spend in this room. It was difficult telling the housekeeper and cook that we’re selling this house. I promised them that I would talk to the buyer about keeping them on, and if that didn’t work out that I would give them excellent references.”

“That was very thoughtful of you.” Ellie unbuttoned his waistcoat while she listened to him.

Henry smiled as Ellie pushed the garment off his shoulders. “Let me call for Hansen and then I’ll join you, darling.”

Ellie shook her head as she kissed the skin at the open collar of Henry’s shirt. “I excused him for the evening. I’m perfectly capable of helping you get ready for sleep.”

“Is that so?”

She nodded as she unfastened the cuffs on his shirt. “I think in the last month I have acquired a fairly thorough knowledge of how to take your clothes off.”

“Did you enjoy our honeymoon, Ellie?”

“Yes, Henry. Italy was beautiful. The parts of it we managed to see.” She giggled as she toyed with the cufflinks she had removed.

Henry chuckled. “We did have a tendency to get distracted, didn’t we?”

“I don’t mind. I much prefer looking at you than at some old statue.”

“Why is that, my dear?

“Because I wasn’t allowed to touch the statues, but I am allowed to touch you.”

“Encouraged even.”

She pulled his shirt loose from his trousers and slipped her hands under the fabric to rest against his stomach. “Yes,” she practically purred.

Henry grabbed his shirt behind his neck and pulled it off over his head and Ellie rubbed her hands against the newly exposed skin before kissing his sternum. She trailed kisses down his stomach as she knelt on the floor in front of him and breathed a kiss across the front of his trousers, looking up at him with mischief sparking in her eyes before she turned her attention to undoing his shoes. “Are you looking forward to getting home tomorrow?”

“It will be nice to be back. It will be even better knowing that this time I’m bringing you home to stay.”

She sighed softly. “It will be home now for me too, won’t it.”

Henry squatted in front of her. “Does that make you sad, madam?”

She looked into his eyes. “No. I was just thinking that I’ve not really felt like I had a home since I left for Paris. Even coming back to Standford, I knew it was Robert’s home now, and that if I didn’t marry in a few years it would be expected for me to take up residence at St. Catherine’s. But then when I got so sick and you held me while I slept, fully expecting not to wake up, I knew I was home in your arms. It sounds like something out of the worst type of romantic novel, but part of me feels that I wouldn’t have woken up if it wasn’t for you.” She looked down at her lap where she was holding one of his shoes. “Either I couldn’t bear to be separated from you, or you gave me your strength to heal.”

Henry leaned forward so that he could kiss her. “Whichever it was, I thank God every day that you didn’t die. That week was one of the best and the worst of my life, and I hope our future will be much less dramatic.”

“I think we will have a different kind of drama in our future. A small, loud, hungry drama.”

Henry chuckled. “I imagine we will at some point.”

“That point may be sooner than you think.”

Henry froze for a moment, and then he cocked his head to the side as his eyes narrowed. “Are you saying that you are with child, Ellie?”

“I’m not sure. I would like to consult with a physician after we return home, but we have been married for a month now and I have spent every night with you. There would have been a sign by now if I were not, I think.”

She looked up at him nervously only to be greeted by a radiant grin. “I couldn’t imagine anything that would make me happier.”

“I’m not certain, Henry. Please don’t set your heart on this.”

“If you aren’t, we shall continue along as we have done, and I am sure that it will happen soon.” He kissed her happily. “Should you be sitting on the floor? Should you lie down? Do you need to rest?”

Ellie laughed. “I am fine, Henry. I am not suddenly an egg shell that will crack from the slightest pressure. There are tribes in Africa where the women work just as hard as the men during the entirety of their pregnancy, give birth, tie the baby to their back and go on working and no one lifts a finger in concern. I shall be perfectly fine going about my normal routine.”

“Good.” He gently lowered her the rest of the way to the rug, resting his weight on his forearms on either side of her head and gazed down at her. “You are so beautiful, Ellie. I love you so much.”

“That is fortunate, because I do believe that I’m in love with you too, Henry.” She wrapped her arms around his neck so that she could play with his hair, and hooked one of her legs around him, letting her foot rest on the back of his thigh.

Henry smiled and placed his hand on her leg. A look of surprise flashed across his face as he encountered bare skin and he slid his hand up her thigh, searching for her nightdress. His quest was unsuccessful. A mischievous grin crossed his face as he pulled at the collar of her dressing gown and peered inside. “Madam, I do believe you have forgotten an item of apparel.”

Ellie laughed. “I do not think it was forgotten as much as purposefully disregarded.”

“You little vixen,” he murmured as he loosened the belt on her gown and pulled it open. He lowered his head to her breast and sucked the nipple into his mouth. Ellie moaned happily and tightened her hands in his hair, arching her back at the feel of his tongue swirling about the peak of her breast. His hand covered her other breast, teasing the rosy nub into a hard sensitive pebble.

Ellie wrapped her legs loosely around his hips and started to slowly rock against him. She had not managed to divest him of his trousers while undressing him, but it did not take long before she could feel him hardening against her, even through his articles of apparel. Her hands reluctantly left his hair but enjoyed traversing the warm planes of his back as they travelled to the waist of his trousers. They circled around to his front, trailed over the coarse hair leading downward from his navel and settled on the buttons of Henry’s remaining clothing.

Henry had moved his mouth to her other breast, giving it the same loving and personal attention as the first, when he felt her hands fumbling with the buttons on his trousers. “Impatient are we, darling?”

Ellie nodded. “It’s your own fault, you know. If you weren’t so perfectly wonderful, I wouldn’t crave you incessantly.”

Henry laughed and shook his head. She ordered him to roll over and he obliged, watching as she settled between his legs and went to work on the fastenings of his trousers. He raised his hips as she tugged the garments down his legs, and then slid her hands slowly up his thighs. Ellie smiled at him as she wrapped her hand around his hardening shaft and stroked it gently. Henry raised himself on his elbows so he could watch her touch him, feeling his erection harden and start to throb from her attention. He lifted his eyes to Ellie’s face to find her watching him, a smile tugging at one corner of her mouth. “If you had told me a month ago what I would be doing right now, I would have called you a vile liar.”

Henry’s laughter delighted her. She loved making him happy and to continue doing so, she bent and licked the top of his cock. His moan stroked her body like fingers dancing over her and ignited a fire deep in her belly. She swirled her tongue around the tip, making sure to lavish attention on his sweet spot, before taking it into her mouth. Ellie heard more than saw Henry fall back against the carpet as she slid her lips down his shaft. She still couldn’t take all of him this way, though she thought that she might be able to do so with more practice, but Henry didn’t seem disappointed. Ellie felt his hand on her head and his fingers gathering her hair, pulling it out of her face so he could watch what she was doing. She looked up the length of his body, noting with a little shiver of pride his heaving chest, as she continued to slide her wet lips up and down his shaft. Their eyes locked, and Ellie felt her already sensitive nipples harden even further under the weight of his gaze. It was as if his hands roamed over her body heightening her every pleasure.

Ellie slowly released him, sucking even as she let him fall from her lips, and crawled up his body until she straddled his waist. His hands settled on her hips as she bent to kiss him and he helped guide her body as they kissed, bringing himself to her entrance, and then let her set her own pace at taking him within her. He nuzzled at her neck, letting his lips trail slowly over her throat. Ellie threw her head back, letting Henry have full access to her skin as she sank deeper onto his cock and then raised herself again. Each slow rocking motion took Henry deeper within her warm body. The sharp sting of Henry biting her collarbone caused her to gasp and she pushed herself the rest of the way onto him. Her nails raked down his chest, and Henry groaned, his fingers biting into the fleshy curve of her hips.

Henry let her ride him at her leisure, enjoying the closed eyed expression of bliss that shone on Ellie’s face, but eventually he could feel his patience slipping as the soft little moans of pleasure she made and the way her breasts swayed with her movements combined to erode his control. The smell of her arousal teased at him until he gave in and quickly rolled her over onto her back. Her eyes flew open in surprise as he hooked his elbows under her knees and thrust himself deep within her.

“Henry!”

“Yes, Ellie,” he groaned as he thrust again, pushing her legs even further back with his arms.

“This is,” she started, but her words turned into a moan with his next thrust.

“This is what, darling?” He had never taken her like this before, but right now he wanted her completely open to him.

Ellie didn’t know how to finish her sentence. She had never felt like this before. It was as if that little nub that Henry delighted in touching had been duplicated deep within her, and was now being stroked with each deep push of him within her. She could feel the now familiar tremble in her stomach start and knew that this new way of making love to her would become a favorite of hers, to be noted on the third page of the little diary she had purchased in Florence.

“This is amazing.” She turned her head to kiss his arm but the rapidly escalating conflagration within her forced her to discard her manners and she bit his forearm instead before kissing the passion imbued mark better. Henry groaned and knew that he wasn’t going to last much longer. Resolute in his desire that she be brought to her climax before he took his own, he wrapped his arm around her leg and pressed his thumb to her clit.

Ellie’s eyes flew open as a pleading moan fled her throat. Henry felt the first rippling quivers of her body around him and he rubbed her faster. Her head fell back, and he pressed forward, pushing deeper into her as he bent his head to her throat, teeth scraping against the sensitive skin at the base of her neck. She cried out, the call of his name presaging the clenching of her body around his own, and he raised himself again, gaining the leverage he needed to continue thrusting deeply into her wet heat, riding out the waves of her climax crashing around him, and then finding his own.

Several minutes later, after they had both calmed and Henry had set them both to rights, she rested her head on his shoulder in his old bed. He adjusted the blankets, making sure to pull them up over her lace covered shoulder – she always changed into a nightgown when they finished making love – and heard her stifle a giggle.

He tilted her head up to meet his gaze. “And what amuses you so, darling?” She could see his smile in the dimly lit room.

“Just this morning I was thinking that I knew all the different ways a man and a woman could make love. And tonight you have shown me that there is still much to learn. I shall have to entrust someone with burning my diaries after I die.”

“Diaries? I thought you only kept the one.”

“Yes, but it’s almost full, and it’s only been a month. I think I shall have an entire library of them very soon.”


	33. Chapter 33

The carriage rounded a bend in the road and Ellie smiled as she saw the pyramid gate come into view with Castle Howard sitting in regal elegance atop the hill behind it. The sun wasn’t shining but it seemed even more beautiful than the day in early July when she had seen it for the first time. “There’s home,” she said to Henry who was watching her rather than the view out the window. He had seen the house many times before. Today it was home. Today, with Ellie seated beside him and wearing a mussed cravat, he was finally coming home.

The carriage wheels crunched over the gravel and came to a halt in front of the grand edifice. A footman opened the carriage door and Henry stepped down and then helped his wife disembark as well. The household staff was arrayed in their starched and ironed best to welcome the lord and his new lady home.  

“Welcome back, my lord. And welcome to Castle Howard, Lady Carlisle. I speak for all of the staff when I say how delighted we are for Lord Carlisle to have found such a beautiful and accomplished lady to love and we wish you many years of marital happiness together.”

Henry smiled and Ellie did as well. “Thank you, Jacobsen.”

The youngest maid, probably only nine years in age, stepped forward and gave her a bouquet of flowers and a neat curtsey.

“Thank you! These are lovely.”

The child smiled up at her. “I’m glad you like them, my lady. There aren’t as many flowers to choose from in December as in other months.”

Ellie looked at the freckled little face and wondered if she were some lord’s bastard offspring and swallowed down a lump that suddenly clogged her throat. “What is your name? I have so many names to learn and I shall start with yours.”

“My name is Virginia, my lady, but people just call me Ginnie.”

“Which name do you prefer?”

“I like Virginia, my lady.”

“Then I shall call you Virginia. Thank you for the beautiful flowers. You did a perfect job choosing them.”

Virginia grinned and then blushed and schooled her expression as she retook her place in the line of maids.

Henry smiled as he watched his staff come swiftly and inexorably under the lady’s spell. There would not be an extended trial period with her as there had been with him. He offered his arm to his wife and she took it with a smile. A footman opened the front door for them, and Lilly bounded down the steps, wagging her tail and barking happily as her eyes confirmed what her nose already knew. Her mum and daddy were home.

>< 

The French doors in Henry’s study were open to the early spring day. After months of grey clouds and rain, the blue sky beckoned with a warmth not quite fulfilled by the actual temperature. Still, it was a welcome change. He was going over papers he needed to understand before the upcoming session of Parliament – how in the name of all that was good and holy had he ended up in the House of Lords – when he heard Lilly barking outside.

“Lilly! Come back here and leave those babies alone!”

He looked out the window and was alarmed to see Ellie running across the lawn after the escaping beagle. He hurried outside and as soon as he was through the door, he shouted, “Lilly, arrêtes!” Lilly backpedaled to a halt at the stern tone in his voice. Ellie shot him a look of gratitude and then carefully bent over to fasten a lead to the dog’s collar.

“Come on, doggie.” She handed the lead to Henry who had tramped across the mushy lawn to his wife. “Sorry, I should have fastened it before I opened the door.”

“You shouldn’t be running after the dog in your condition.”

“I’m fine, darling,” she reassured him.

Henry rubbed his hand protectively over the curve of her stomach. “I don’t want you to fall and hurt yourself.”

“She was going after the peacock babies.”

“Yes, and those babies’ mother was right there to protect them. You be this baby’s mother.” He patted her stomach and then smiled as the baby punched back in response. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.”

Ellie loved the sweet smile he got when he was interacting with the baby, a smile she saw at no other time. “This is going to be the most spoilt baby in all of England if you have anything to say about it.”

Henry grinned. “Most definitely.” The smile faded though as he cupped her face with one hand. “Don’t make me have Robert put you on bed rest.”

“Robert is getting married tomorrow and then leaving on his honeymoon,” Ellie pointed out.

“Then I’ll get Thorne to do it.”

Ellie rolled her eyes. “I’m perfectly safe. There are tribes in Africa –”

He cut her off. He had heard much about tribes in Africa in the last several months and frankly didn’t give a damn about any of them when it came to keeping his increasingly pregnant wife safe. “Darling, in the last two weeks I have fished you out of the duck pond–”

“I was wading and slipped.”

“And every time I ask why you were wading in the duck pond to begin with you not so subtly change the topic. I’ve also had to get you off the top rung of a ladder in the library–”

“I needed to get a book.”

“–and had to make you stop painting the day nursery.”

“I was bored.

“It was two in the morning.”

“I couldn’t sleep.

“If you ever have problems sleeping, wake me up. I’ll keep you occupied.” He placed a warm kiss on her lips, one which Ellie made every effort to prolong. Lilly sat patiently at their feet, accustomed to her parents getting distracted like this on a regular basis and delaying her walk. “I am fairly certain  _that_  is what caused our current predicament,” Henry said softly, a few minutes later.

Color tinted Ellie’s cheeks as she smiled. “I’m fairly certain it is as well, but it is a lovely predicament.”

Henry marveled at her ability to still blush, but found it endearing that she still was so sweet and innocent. “I have a feeling this will not be the only time we are in this predicament in our lives. Not unless you learn to keep your hands to yourself, my lady,” he teased, and she smiled in return, knowing how little either one of them wanted her to learn that skill.

“But you promised I could muss with your cravats whenever I wanted.” She tugged at the burgundy cloth tied around his neck.

“And I always keep my promises.”

>< 

Henry threw open the front doors without waiting for the footman to open them.

“Where is she?” he demanded.

“The lady is in her bedchamber, sir,” Jacobsen calmly responded. “The babe is not yet delivered.”

Henry tore up the staircase, followed at a more sedate pace by Robert who stopped to give his hat and gloves to Jacobsen. Robert was at his wit’s end with Henry’s behavior. Ever since Henry had got the telegraph that Ellie had entered her travail, Henry had been impossible to deal with. He had torn out of Parliament like he had a devil on his tail, paced the train station, cursed at every stop and had threatened to outrun the carriage on the way up the house.

Robert walked down the hall to see Océane blocking the door to Ellie’s chambers. “You cannot go in, brother,” she insisted. “You must wait until the proceedings are over.” Henry picked her up and moved her aside.

“Henry, calm down,” Robert called. “You can’t go in there, it’s not done.”

“I don’t care what is or isn’t done. My Ellie is in there, and she’s hurting, and I’m not leaving her to go through that alone.” He opened the door and was beset with the protests of the doctor and maids, but ignored them because he heard Ellie call his name.

“I did try and stop him,” Océane said quietly after shutting the door.

“Yes, and I expect whoever tries to block my way in seven months will be just as unsuccessful as you were.” Robert kissed her on her forehead.

Henry sat on the edge of Ellie’s bed and stroked her hair back from her forehead while whispering words of encouragement. With each indication of her pain he swore to himself that he was never going to do anything to put her in this condition again. Eventually Ellie asked him to sit behind her so she could rest against him.

“I am so glad you’re here,” she said tiredly between contractions. “I don’t think I could do this without you.”

“I would not leave you to face this alone, my Ellie.”

Two more hours and a squalling baby boy was placed in Ellie’s arms. She was so exhausted she could do nothing but rest against Henry’s chest and hold her child. “Hello, baby,” she cooed, gazing into the deep blue eyes. Henry stroked a finger against the infant’s cheek. The baby’s flailing arms came in chance contact with his finger and he wrapped his tiny fingers around his father’s larger one.

“Hello, my son,” he whispered.

After Ellie nursed the baby and herself to sleep, Henry wrapped his son in a blanket and took him to the window so he could see the tiny cherub in the moonlight and not disturb Ellie with a lamp. He marveled at the long dark lashes the baby already had, just like his mother’s. “Welcome home, little one,” he murmured, swaying back and forth without realizing it. “I know you’re asleep and you can’t hear this, but I just wanted to tell you that this is your home and it will be forever and ever. You’ll get to run and play and have a horse of your own and someday you’ll be Earl and have to look after everything but you don’t have to worry about that for a long time because your mother and I will be here until long after you have children of your own. We’ll always be here for you, little William, and this will always be your home.”

  _The End_


	34. Lilly and the Peacock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little update for Henry and Ellie and their little family.

Lilly and the peacock had come to an agreement. Lilly would leave the peacocks and their babies alone if they stayed a respectable distance away from Lilly and her babies. The two big ones were fairly good about looking after themselves, though they did tend to get distracted on walks and stop to rub faces, but this new little one was proving to be quiet a hassle. Eight months old and it still just rolled around on the ground. After looking around to make sure the peacock and its little fluffy chicks were still on the other side of the garden, she waggled her tail in front of the furless, babbling puppy, and the chubby little thing rocked forward on its hands and knees and made a grab for it. Lilly barked in approval and the baby laughed and grabbed for the tail again. Lilly scooted a few inches forward and the baby flopped down onto its belly and crawled forward on its tummy to reach for the fascinating tail.

Ellie laughed as William tried to catch Lilly’s waggling tail and then looked up as a shadow fell over her. “Hello, my darling husband.”

He bent over and kissed her full lips. “I was hoping you and Will would take advantage of the sunshine this morning. It’s the first nice day we’ve had in months.”

“I think everyone in the house has devised a reason to be outside this morning.” She had certainly dragged William out at the first opportunity and had already requested an  _al fresco_ luncheon.

Henry sat down next to her on the bench. “I noticed you managed to choose a location for your activity that was visible from the window of my study.”

“Did I? I didn’t notice.” She laughed and nudged him in the side so he would put his arm around her.

Henry smiled at her not-so-subtle coaxing and wrapped his arm around his wife’s shoulders. He enjoyed their time at Castle Howard so much more than when they were in London. He could intersperse his duties with his family while they were all here, but they would all be moving to London for the Season shortly. Ellie wore her hair down when they weren’t in town, and he wrapped the long strands around his fingers as they watched their son attempt to catch Lilly. He had no idea babies could have so much hair but his son had a full head of dark curls already and a laugh that melted his father’s heart. Henry cheered as Will managed a few crawling moves forward on his hands and knees before collapsing onto his belly. The baby rolled over on his back and saw his father and waved both hands excitedly in the air, emitting a piercing shriek of liquid gabble in greeting. Ellie smiled as Henry got up long enough to scoop his son off of the blanket and bring him up on the bench with his parents. Ellie looked at the nursemaid who smiled and shook her head. She thought the Lord and Lady were spoiling the young master, but she didn’t voice her objections anymore after seeing how much joy they all had together.

Ellie covered her mouth as she yawned. Henry turned his attention to her, continuing to bounce William on his lap. “Are you tired, darling? Perhaps you should go rest.”

“You just want the baby to yourself so you two can go play with the horses again.”

Henry grinned. “Will likes being up on horseback. He likes the view from up there.”

Ellie yawned again. “Perhaps I will retire for a while. I’ve been exhausted the last few days.”

Henry arched an eyebrow at her as a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Perhaps you should call a physician.”

“Whatever for? I simply need more sleep.”

“You have been sleeping just fine, darling. But I have noticed that your breasts have been very sensitive lately.”

Henry delighted in the color that stained Ellie’s cheeks, amused that she could still blush after all they had done together. She clamped her hands over Will’s ears. “Henry! You shouldn’t say such things.”

He whispered against her ear, “You normally like it when I say those sorts of things to you.”

“Normally I do, but…” She stopped and looked at Henry. “They have?”

Henry’s smile broadened as she realized the significance of what he had said. “Yes. And you have mentioned that your stomach hasn’t felt quite well for the last few days.”

Ellie’s eyes widened and she started counting backwards in her head. Once the number got to thirty, her mouth dropped open.

Henry grinned and gently kissed her. “Why don’t you go rest, and I’ll go call the physician to come check on you.” Maybe he would take William on a ride to fetch Dr. Thorne.


	35. Better Together than Apart

Lord Carlisle bounded down from the carriage the moment his footman opened the door and strode up the steps to his home. The door opened in front of him and his heart beat a tattoo against his ribs as he saw Ellie,  _his Ellie_ , waiting for him. She had returned from London two weeks earlier, fatigued by the growing restraints polite society put on a woman in her condition, to Castle Howard where she could wear her hair down in a long braid with none but the servants knowing the wiser and replace her corset and bustle with a more comfortable mode of dress, with the waistline of her dress sitting right under her breasts and the smooth folds of her skirt draping over her swelling stomach. She stood from the chair in which she had been lounging and placed a hand on her belly. She had grown in the weeks they had been separated, and not for the first time Henry mentally cursed himself for not coming home to her earlier.

“Hello, my love,” he said, and was answered with a, “Pa-pa!”

He looked down to see little William toddling across the floor, his toy horse and cart discarded. “Pa-pa!” he repeated, his arms outstretched. Henry hurried forward and scooped up his son.

“Hello, William.” He carried him over to Ellie, his boot heels ringing on the floor, and kissed her. “Hello, my Ellie.”

“Welcome home,” she murmured and kissed him back. She had missed him so for the last few weeks, and even with a growing belly she felt a stone lighter having him home again.

William grabbed at his daddy’s hair, discontented with any state of affairs that did not have him at its center. Ellie helped disentangle the surprisingly strong fingers from her husband’s curls. “No, William. No grabbing.”

William looked at her with narrowed eyes. “No.”

“That’s right. No grabbing.”

He frowned and looked to his father for reinforcements.

“No grabbing,” Henry repeated and William pouted, his rosy cheeks puffing out along with his protruding bottom lip. He had been betrayed.

He pointed to his mother. “Mama.”

Henry nodded and smiled at Ellie. “That’s right, that’s your mama.”

“Fat.”

Ellie’s mouth fell open and Henry’s mouth firmed. “No, your mother is not fat.”

William pointed at her stomach. “Tummy. Fat.” He blew a raspberry sound, just like they had done so often on his stomach.

Henry smiled in understanding. “No, your mother has a baby in her tummy.”

William looked at his mother again with narrowed eyes and then back to his father, who he regarded as the source of all truth and wisdom. “Eat?”

Ellie hid her laughter behind her hand but Henry had no such luxury. He struggled not to laugh as he assuaged his son’s very serious concern. “No, your mother did not eat the baby. She is growing a new baby.”

“Girl?”

“We don’t know if the baby is a girl. It could be a boy or a girl.”

“Girl.” He nodded his head so emphatically that his curls shook.

“Well, we’ll find out soon enough, won’t we?”

“Girl.” Another head bob and more quivering curls. He pointed to the floor. “Down!”

Henry gently put him down and didn’t let go until he was certain William was steady on his feet. William toddled back over to his horse and cart and plopped down on his nappy-padded bum and went back to playing happily, rolling his toy over the rug and babbling nonsense at it.

Henry pulled his Ellie into his arms. “Would you mind leaving William with the nurse for the rest of the day?”

Blood rushed to her cheeks as she shook her head. “Not at all.”

“Then come welcome home your husband properly, wife.” He took her by the hand and led her towards the staircase.

“As my lord commands.” She smiled at Henry and he patted her bum. She did  _so_ enjoy it when he commanded.

* * *

Jacobsen was a butler. He was a fine butler that had served at Castle Howard in one capacity or another since he was nine, just like his mother and father had before him. He had faced crises of every kind including kidnappings, shootings, and the loss of the entire family with quiet dignity and aplomb. Beyond that, he also served as a servant of Her Majesty on various sensitive matters. It was amazing how much information one could obtain as a servant on a large estate that served as a gathering place for the high and mighty of more than one country. Yes, he was one of the finest of the breed. And yet he quailed to knock on Lord Carlisle’s door and interrupt him as he dressed for dinner.

Jacobsen had interrupted his lordship before without a moment’s concern, but this time was different. This time he would have to tell his lordship that the lady was missing. Just thinking about it gave him a slight twinge of indigestion. The last time the lady had gone missing it had ended with two people being shot and another handful being carted off to stand justice before the magistrate. And now, it was not just the lady but the lady and the child she was carrying. His lordship would  _not_  be amused.

Steeling himself for the coming explosion, he knocked on the lord’s door and was bid enter. Hansen was fastening Carlisle’s cuff links and Jacobsen paused just inside the doorway, still unsure about how exactly to tell the lord what had happened.

Carlisle turned to him. “What is it, Jacobsen? Has the lady been taken to her bed?”

“No, my lord. It appears that the lady has been…misplaced.”

Carlisle appeared to grow in stature, looming large in the dressing room. “Misplaced,” he repeated, dangerously soft.

“Yes, my lord.”

“My wife is not a pocket watch or a book to be misplaced. Are you telling me that the lady is missing?”

Lightning cracked open the sky outside, throwing the room into stark relief, and Jacobsen could see the fire glowing in his lord’s eyes. “Yes, my lord. It appears that the lady is missing.

Thunder crashed the clouds together and rain began to beat against the windows. “My wife and my unborn child are missing,” Carlisle repeated with more steel in his voice than in a regiment’s worth of sabers.

“Yes, my lord. She did not return to her rooms to dress for dinner and Browning came to me to see if I knew perhaps where she was. I have canvassed the staff and she was seen leaving the house about three hours ago and hasn’t been seen since. She sent one of the maids up to her rooms to fetch a parasol after tea saying that she fancied a walk.”

Henry gritted his teeth together. “Did she perhaps say where she was going?” There were 13,000 acres of the estate currently being rained on, meaning it was going to be almost impossible to track her by sight or by scent.

“One of the footmen said she was heading in the direction of the Temple of the Four Winds.”

“Have two horses saddled. Hansen, you’re coming with me.”

Henry started yanking out the cufflinks as Jacobsen and Hansen left.

Twenty minutes later they were both on horseback, cantering down the path to the Temple. The rain bit into their faces as they called for Ellie, scouring the terrain in the gloaming dark on both sides of the path for any sign of her. They both held pierced tin lanterns and Henry prayed that she had kept to the path. She was eight and a half months pregnant, and the thought of her hurt in the pouring rain somewhere out in the muddy countryside terrified him.

They reached the Temple with no sign of her, and Henry leapt off his horse and sprinted up the marble stairs. “Oh, thank God,” he exclaimed as he saw her through the open door. Shaking the rain from his coat, he crossed the porch and into the room where Ellie sat on the cold floor with her back against the wall. She wasn’t wet and she bore no obvious signs of injury or mishap, but there were tears on her cheeks.

“I knew you would come for me,” she said softly as he walked into the room.

He knelt down beside her. “What happened to you? I was so worried.”

“I tripped over the top step and fell, and I have twisted my ankle. I was scared of trying to walk on it and falling again and possibly doing more hurt to myself or the child.”

Henry pulled up her skirt enough to undo her shoe. He gently touched her ankle through her embroidered stocking and she winced and yanked her foot away. “Ow.”

“Well, I shall help you to the horse and when we get back to the house we shall call for a physician.” He put her shoe back on her foot and looped the buttons shut.

“Good, because I think I have gone into labour.”

Henry’s head jerked up from buckling her shoe. “Are you certain?”

“ _Yes._  This is not a sensation one forgets.”

Henry thought about the storm they had just ridden through. “Will it be safe to move you? Perhaps we should stay here and the physician can be brought here.”

“I am not giving birth on a stone floor, Henry.”

“I’m sure there are tribes in Africa where,” he started, using the same line of reasoning Ellie used to justify all sorts of non-traditional behavior.

“I do not  _care_  about tribes in Africa. I want my soft bed and warm blankets and hot water and tea, and if you try and make me stay here I will make Hansen take me back to the house and I will not let you see me or your child for a  _week_.”

Henry was taken aback at the fierceness coming from his normally sweet wife, but then she grimaced and pressed a hand to her stomach. It turns out he had not forgotten the sensation of having a laboring wife either, and he took her other hand.  The pain was not yet intense or long-lived and when it had passed, Henry was determined to get her back to the house and the comfort of her own bed for the rest of her travail. “Yes, well, let’s get you standing up, then.”

Hansen, who had been standing in the door way, not sure if he should go back out and stand in the rain rather than intrude on this moment, came forward to help, and between the two of them they managed to get her onto the horse, sitting across Henry’s thighs. Hansen galloped back to the house to alert the other staff and fetch a physician while Henry took it at a slower pace so as not to jar Ellie too much. Henry had draped his coat over her and she held her parasol in a feeble attempt to shield them from the rain, though the lavender lace-trimmed confection was really not designed for such a thing.

“I’m sorry you had to go out in the rain to fetch me.”

Henry couldn’t tell if she was crying with the rain streaking her face. “I am just sorry that I was not there to keep you from taking hurt. Though I think I will ask that when you decide to go wander the grounds by yourself that you leave word with someone where you are planning to go. Luckily one of the footmen saw you or I wouldn’t have an idea of which direction to start looking.”

“I will do that. I didn’t mean to cause alarm. It’s one of my favorite walks and the sky was so beautiful when I set out.”

Henry was about to respond but she made a soft noise of pain and closed her eyes, and he closed his mouth. All that mattered was that she was safe and back in his arms.

Maids and footmen stood ready when they got back to the house along with a groom for his horse, and Henry started giving orders the second he walked through the doors. Everything he ordered had already been done, and he finally gave up on trying to run his house any better than Jacobsen was already doing and carried Ellie up the stairs to their rooms.

Seven hours later, the sound of Ellie’s pained cries was replaced with the startled wail of a newborn. Ellie slumped back against Henry, who hadn’t faced nearly the resistance to his presence in the room this time, and gasped for breath as he wiped away the sweat that beaded her forehead. “You are magnificent, my darling. Completely wonderful.”

Browning handed them their new child, loosely wrapped in a small blanket. “Congratulations, my lady, my lord. You have a daughter.”

Ellie cradled the infant in her arms, instantly smitten with the tiny child. “Hello, Genevieve,” she crooned. “Such a big name for such a little girl. Maybe we’ll call you Evie or Eve until you’re a little bigger.”

“Evie,” Henry whispered as he brushed his fingertip over the pulsing fontanel. “She’s an Evie.”

Ellie looked at her husband. “Are you disappointed that I didn’t give you another son?”

Henry kissed her damp forehead. “Absolutely not.  If she’s anything at all like her mother, the world will be a better place for her being in it. Besides, I seem to remember you drawing me teaching our daughter to play chess at some point. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to make your wish come true.”

Ellie smiled and blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall. “I don’t think she will be ready to learn very soon, darling.”

“No. I think you and her are going to spend the next several weeks tucked up in bed together. At least with the sprained ankle it should be easier to keep you in bed resting than it was with William.”

“He will be very happy that he was right about the baby being a girl.”

“I am very happy that the baby is a girl too, darling.” He kissed her softly. “Now you nurse the future Baroness of St. Catherine’s, and I will send for some breakfast for you since you missed dinner last night.”

“You missed dinner too. Don’t forget to eat before you fall asleep.”

“Yes, my love.”

An hour later, Henry stretched out next to Ellie who had fallen asleep with the last bit of the  _pain au chocolat_  the assistant cook had made for her as a special treat still in her hand. Browning had cleared the food away. Evie was being rocked to sleep by the nurse. Dawn had not yet begun to tint the sky outside. Henry kissed the brow of his sleeping wife and then the perfect flower of her mouth before he let his head rest on the pillow next to hers. Draping his arm over her, he quickly fell asleep as well but not before saying a silent prayer of thanks for the safe delivery of his wife and child through the treacherous dangers of childbirth. The last thought that crossed his mind before sleep took him was that he was going to need to learn how to play chess better. He couldn’t have his daughter losing to the boys that would come to court her.


	36. Chapter 36

Ellie walked right into Henry’s study without bothering to knock or being introduced. She slammed the door shut behind her and leaned against it. “Henry!”

He looked up from his papers in surprise at her sudden appearance. “Madame?”

“Monsieur?”

He grinned at her perfectly accented French. It would always be better than his. “Can I help you with something, darling?”

“This is the tenth straight day it has rained without ceasing and I am waterlogged to my very soul.”

He would have laughed if she hadn’t appeared so morose. “I am afraid that I lack the ability to rearrange the clouds to suit your whim, dearest.”

“I am  _bored._ ”

Henry smiled indulgently as she collapsed onto the chaise lounge she had requisitioned for the study so she would have someplace comfortable to read while he worked. After a wet winter and a wetter spring, Ellie was antsy for the Season and a return to London for a much needed dose of frivolity and enlightenment. Not even commissioning an entirely new wardrobe and planning a new garden had fully kept her occupied this winter. He was not insulted though. At the end of the season she would be just as antsy to return to the peace and serenity of Castle Howard.

“I can bring you a chair and you can go over the ledgers with me.”

“Ledgers require sunshine. They cannot be survived with a waterlogged soul.”

Even when dispirited, she was still the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Perhaps he could bring a bit of joviality to her day. “Not even if I let you muss my cravat while doing so?”

“Don’t make fun.”

Not a blush, not a smile, not a flirtatious rejoinder. This wasn’t just the weather or too long away from a museum, then. This was the dove grey melancholy that she wore like a shawl since the loss of her last pregnancy. It hadn’t progressed to the point of her having to loosen the ties on her corset, but the loss of even the tiniest life had been mourned and the tiny gown she had been embroidering in the evenings disappeared.

Henry capped his ink well and set aside his pen. “A game then.”

“I have not the humor to lose at chess today.”

“No, no chess. How about a game of hide and seek?”

She sat up enough to look out the window at the unceasing downpour. “In the rain? I don’t think being waterlogged in body will dry out my soul in the least.”

“No, in the house.”

“And what will the servants think of their lord and lady scampering about like ill-mannered hoydens?”

Henry walked over to her and pulled her to her feet. “They will rejoice to see you happy again, my darling. I am not the only one who misses your smile.” He gently stroked her cheek. It was too pale and her eyes were dull.

“It is such a strange feeling to miss someone that you never knew.”

“I know.” He kissed her softly on her forehead. He too grieved the loss of the child, but the demands of his position had given him something to focus on besides the pain. Maybe he had been wrong to leave her to her own devices, thinking that time alone would heal her wounds. “Perhaps, though, it is time to focus more on the people you have here who love you. I miss you. You haven’t burst into my study in three months and I haven’t granted one of your wishes in much too long.”

“Very well.” She took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. “Shall I hide first, or shall you?”

“Go hide. Just restrict yourself to the main floor or I’ll never find you.”

She darted in and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “And that wouldn’t be any fun at all. Count forty after I leave before you come searching.”

“As you wish.” He escorted her to the door of his study and kissed her cheek. “I shall find you shortly.”

She stepped out into the hall. “And close the door!”

Henry bowed in as grandiose manner as possible, grinning to see a bit of happiness in her face, and shut the door. After a slow count of forty he opened the door again to see Jacobsen with his hand raised about to knock.

He looked both ways down the hall but saw no sign of his wife. “Is there something you needed, Jacobsen?”

“No, sir. I just saw the lady running headlong down the hall in the direction of the gallery and I wanted to ascertain if anything untoward had happened.”

“No, no.” Henry started moving in the direction Jacobsen had indicated. “We’re playing hide and seek.”

“Oh. Oh no. I have betrayed the lady’s hiding place.”

“Perhaps you might have an extra nice tea laid out for her. I have a feeling she might actually have an appetite today.” Hope was a feeling, and she had lost weight as well as color in the last few months.

“I’ll have cook make her favorite sponge.”

“She’ll like that. We must all endeavor in our way to make the lady smile again.”

“Very good, sir.”

Henry hurried down the hall in search of his wife, fully aware that Jacobsen was watching him and not caring a whit about what his butler was thinking. Ellie had smiled and that was enough for him. It didn’t take him long to find her, though she was not in the gallery. She was attempting to hide under the piano in the music room, but the train of her skirt stuck out from under the cloth draped over it, giving her away. He picked up an edge of the cloth and yanked it off, revealing a giggling wife and releasing a small shower of dust. Ellie hadn’t been up to playing lately and the instrument had sat unused since Christmas.  He squatted down so they were eye to eye. “I do believe I have found you.”

Ellie laughed again and held out her hands. “Yes, you have. Now help me up. I managed to get under there by myself but I don’t believe I can accomplish the reverse without assistance.”

Henry took her hands and pulled her easily to her feet, and then right into his arms where he proceeded to kiss her soundly. “That is one point for me. Will you concede, madam?”

“Not at all. You must go hide now. Hurry along.” She shooed him along and he backed away slowly, not wanting to take his eyes away from the roses blooming in her cheeks. “When you close the door, I will count thirty and then come find you.”

“I believe the count is forty.”

“No, you only get a thirty count because you are not attempting to run in a corset and bustle.”

“That is a valid reason. Very well.” He shut the door and bolted down the hall. The footmen in the foyer gave their best effort at ignoring him. Jacobsen must have spread word of the afternoon’s activity.

It took her longer to find him than the other way around. He thought she had found him straight off, but she searched the library and then left. After several more minutes of waiting, he was ready to come out from hiding and declare himself a winner, but right before he crawled out from behind the moving bookcase, he heard the door open again. Muffled footsteps headed straight for him, and a second later, the latch that worked the mechanism clicked into place and the shelf swung open.

Ellie glared at him in mock exasperation. “I can’t I believe I forgot to check the hidey hole.”

“It’s been a while since you’ve been in here.”

“It has.”

He reached for her hand. “Come in here with me.”

She didn’t pull her hand away, but she didn’t let him pull her inside the cramped quarters either. “I don’t think I would fit.”

“You did before.”

A range of emotions flickered across her face, leaving her with heightened color and a reluctance to meet his eyes. “Yes, but last time I was in my nightgown.”

He had been in his nightgown as well. It was a particularly treasured memory of his. “Your clothing does seem to inhibit you a great deal. Take it off.”

“Henry!”

“What? I’ll go lock the door. No one will know.” He headed towards the door only to be stopped in his tracks by her next words.

“Playing hide and seek in my underthings is restricted to your bed chamber.”

He didn’t dare turn around and he held his breath for a second before he answered. “I will have to remember to play that with you some night.”

She was similarly delayed in answering him. “Perhaps tonight.”

Henry carefully walked back to her, afraid that a single false move might jeopardize the tentative recovery she had made. “Are you sure?”

Ellie snuggled into his chest and Henry wrapped his arms around her, holding her even closer. The delicate feel of her in his arms was one that he had forgone in recent months. “It has been long enough. I am physically recovered and I miss you. I miss sleeping next to you.”

“I miss that as well.” He rested a hand on the back of her neck where her skin was bared to his touch. He had starved for the feel of her skin lately, starved for her smiles.

Her fingers wove into the folds of his cravat. “I miss our lovemaking.”

The whispered words were sweet against his jaw and he tightened his arms around her. “As do I.”

She tugged down his collar barely enough to bestow a single kiss upon the normally covered skin and then released him. “But right now,” she said with a hint of her old cheerfulness, “it is my turn to hide again.” She gracefully perched on the edge of one of the chairs and held out a foot. “Will you undo my shoes first? Running in these things is such a precarious endeavor.”

Henry knelt at her feet and carefully unlaced once boot and removed it, before resting her other foot on his knee. Slowly the laces gave way under his fingers and he gently clasped her calf as he pulled off the shoe and placed it next to its mate. His hand made its way further up her leg, and they watched each other breathlessly as he brushed his fingertip against the bare skin of her thigh. He forced himself to place her foot on the ground again and he sat back on his heels. “There are you, darling. You should be able to run as far as you like now.”

She held on to his shoulder as she stood, slightly off balance in her soul as well as her step. “I should not wish to run very far.”

“No. Not very far at all.” He stood up and they gazed at each other again. Perhaps he could convince her to retire with him for the night right now. As it was, the clouds outside and the droning rain made it almost as dark as midnight. Perhaps she had the same thoughts too, for she reached for him slowly, almost appearing hypnotized, and stroked her fingers over his cravat again.

Then she tugged it sharply, undoing the knot, and ran from the room laughing.

His sigh was tinged with laughter. She was finding her way back to herself. Now he would go find her and bring her the rest of the way home.


	37. Delightful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a prompt sent in by a friend with the photo below and the word, "Delightful."

Henry removed his hands from covering Ellie’s eyes and waited. Her excited squeal brought a grin to his face. He had seen a similar aquarium at a friend’s house in London and had immediately set about having one constructed for his wife. 

“Henry, it’s delightful! And it’s not even my birthday!” She whirled around and gave him a resounding kiss. “However did you do it? And the fish? They’re like the ones I saw at the exhibition in London. They’re beautiful!”

She didn’t wait for an answer but turned back to her new pets. 

“They’re like swimming coins. And what kind of mechanism is used to make the fountain go? I think the birds would love to have something like this to splash about in while they’re in the aviary.”

Henry rubbed his eyes tiredly. “They  **are**  in the aviary right now, correct?”

“Ask Evie. She’s the one that let them out last time.” She was bent over trying to examine the underside of the fountain for any clues as to how it worked.

Henry was not about to disturb Evie. When he had led a closed-eyed Ellie past her on the way to the solarium, she had been beating William at chess while Robbie, Peter, Nicholas, and Edmund watched. That meant he had his wife all to himself for at least a few more minutes. His hope for more of her grateful kisses disappeared as the crash of a table getting knocked over sounded down the hallway.

“You’re cheating!” William yelled.

Henry and Ellie looked at each other and sighed. 

“You are too!” Evie had obviously denied the charge, but soft enough that her parents hadn’t heard him. “Girls aren’t good at chess. They aren’t smart enough!”

Ellie’s face went from irritated to furious and Henry chased after her as she ran from the room. Someone needed to protect his son from the wrath of his angry mother. Not that he didn’t deserve some of it, but Ellie was very protective of Evie and her potential as a woman. She’d even taken her daughter to a suffrage rally during their last stay in town. 

He arrived in the game room right on Ellie’s train. She was very much in full steam. “Pick this table up  _now_.” The game pieces were scattered on the floor, and little Nicky and Edmund had already gathered several of the pieces into makeshift lines of soldiers. “And when you are done with that, you will meet me in the library. You’re going to be examined by me as to your progress with your education, and you won’t have supper until you pass.”

“Even at geography?” William thought as long as he knew how to safely get to London and back that he didn’t need to know about the rest of the world.

“ _Especially_ at geography. And depending on how poorly you do, we may hire you a tutor for the summer to get you ready for school this fall. A new school, since the one you are going to now is obviously teaching you false ideas.”

Henry got out of Ellie’s way as she strode from the room. He watched as William picked up the table, proud of Ellie for controlling her anger, though he was sure William would be cornering him lately to beg that he get to go back to school with his friends instead of a new one, which he was in favor of. Pulling a boy out of his school after he’d already made friends simply wasn’t done.

Ellie reappeared in the doorway. “A  _woman_ tutor,” she pronounced in arch tones and nodded sharply before leaving again. William looked at his dad in horror. The laughter Evie had been stifling broke forth and Henry shrugged helplessly. He knew what that set of the chin meant when it appeared on his wife’s face. She had made up her mind; there would be no changing it now. William was going to get a woman tutor regardless of how he performed on the exam Ellie was setting. 

He’d teach William how to write a letter of apology, and have the tutor set him an essay on famous women scholars throughout time. Between the two, Ellie would soften her heart.

And maybe he’d thrown in a fountain for the aviary while he was at it.


End file.
